Dear Readers,
This ALICITY chapter leads on from Chapter 24 and will conclude 2 chapters from now with the ALTERNATE ALICITY ENDING.
Basically:
If you were an Olicity fan, you would have stopped reading after finishing Chapter 27.
For all the lovely readers who asked me to do the alternate Alicity ending, you would read Chapter 24 and then skip forward to Chapter 28.
Thanks for reading!
LadyG
"How?"
Adam's gaze met hers, his eyes filled with anger and disbelief. "The judge dismissed it. Said there wasn't enough credible evidence to take the matter to trial."
"What?" Her heart was pounding so fast she was afraid he'd hear it. "I don't understand. You said it was open and shut." Had she missed something?
He tugged at the knot of his tie in irritation. Pulling it loose, he sighed. "That's what it was supposed to be but the judge didn't think so."
Tentatively, her stomach in tangles, she asked the one thing she was dying to know. "Was it because of the Arrow's help?"
His movements slowed and his eyes suddenly searched hers. Surprised at his probing scrutiny, she felt an ominous pang in the pit of her stomach. I'm being paranoid. "Ironically, no. Turns out that our resident vigilante didn't sabotage my case at all."
Felicity swallowed her relief, but couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't completely right. "Then what was it?" she asked.
"Perez bought the judge. Five minutes in it became obvious that he would never see the inside of a jail cell."
Felicity wished that she was more surprised, but working with Oliver had opened her eyes to a lot of things. "Adam, I'm so sorry." She genuinely felt badly for him.
Flicking his wrist at the piles of paperwork on the table, he continued, "I can't believe that all our work, the hours and hours we've dedicated to this case, down the drain with one pound of the gavel. Apparently corruption and greed is not only confined to large corporations and dirty cops. It reaches higher still, into the realm of learned men and women who should know better, who should be setting the examples."
She'd never seen him this upset before and she could well understand why. Adam was a man of conviction, honorable and moral to the core, he expected others to exhibit the same values. It had to be a serious blow to realize that the very principles he believed in were not shared throughout his discipline. "I can't imagine how you must be feeling." Those words, wholly inadequate, were the only ones that came to mind.
He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the palms of his hands. "You should have seen it. All our arguments shot down without so much as a fair hearing. Every piece of evidence refuted, made light of, alternate theories posed that ranged from the ridiculous right down to the truly absurd."
"Is there nothing you can do?"
He sat up, shaking his head. "You know, I wasn't naïve enough to think that corruption didn't exist, I know it does. I just didn't expect it from someone I know as well as Judge Thompson. I've seen him on the job, worked beside him many times and seen firsthand how tough he is behind the bench." He raked a hand through his hair in frustration. "How did that change?"
"I guess sometimes people find themselves going down a path they never thought they would and before they know it, they can't get back out," she answered softly. "Perez doesn't strike me as a forgiving man."
"Does that mean that everyone has a price; anyone can be bought?" he asked heatedly, directing his anger towards himself. "Does it mean that even I, with all my lofty ideals about integrity and upholding the principles and ethics of our justice system, will waiver if I saw enough zeros?"
"No!" she denied vehemently. A man like Adam wouldn't be swayed by money. He was too decent for that. If all he wanted was riches, he wouldn't have settled for the job of District Attorney.
"Why not?" he countered. He was looking at her strangely again before suddenly changing tack. "Do you think the Arrow could be bought?"
Felicity's stomach dropped to the floor. "What?"
"The Arrow. This city's masked avenger. Do you think he is corruptible?" His eyes bored holes into hers.
Swallowing in an attempt to moisten her dry mouth, she forced herself to remain calm. Does he know about Oliver? "I can't speak for him." Was she imagining the flicker of disappointment she saw in his eyes? Hastily, she continued, "But I know you. In your spare time, you place children in happy homes, Adam. That doesn't strike me as a man with questionable values. If you wanted a more glamourous existence, you could've had it, easily, and yet here you are, content to slave away as a civil servant," she pointed out rationally. "You are an amazing attorney and this isn't your fault. You can't throw in the towel now. If you did, there would be one less person fighting for the right team. This city and the people in it need you, someone they can count on, even if they don't know it. Please don't give up on them."
He gave her a sad smile, his hand lifting to cup her cheek. This time she didn't miss the letdown evident behind those intelligent eyes. Startled, she realized it was directed at her. "I don't know, Felicity. I don't think I know anything anymore." With that crestfallen and somewhat loaded statement, he stood and gathered his files and folders.
Her heart aching for him, she reached forward to help, trying to quell the alarm she could feel threatening to take over. "Adam, have I done something to upset you?" she asked, carefully.
He stopped what he was doing and faced her. "Stop, Felicity. I know."
Dread enveloping her, she prevaricated. "Know what?"
"I know. That you work for him. The Arrow."
"Adam-"
He held up a hand. "Don't lie to me anymore. Please. No more lies."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she nodded. "How long have you known?"
He closed his eyes, her confirmation clearly hurting him. "Not long. I figured it out on my own though. Initially I just thought you were an incredibly dedicated employee, but when your late nights, supposedly working, always happened to coincide with a vigilante take-down, I started putting the pieces together."
Her mind was racing. There was so much she wanted to tell him, to explain, but she couldn't. More than anything, she wished she could erase the look of betrayal on his face. "I wanted to tell you, a thousand times," she attempted, knowing it sounded feeble.
"Then why didn't you?" His eyes were pleading.
"I couldn't. It wasn't my secret to tell. Adam, please try to understand-"
He turned away from her and continued packing. "I don't buy that, Felicity. You knew," he said accusingly, "you knew how I felt about honesty and yet you continued to lie to me. Time after time." He wasn't looking at her and she didn't know which was worse – seeing his disappointment head on, or knowing that despite his anger, he was still trying to shield her from it. Adam, always looking out for everyone else, even when it cost him. His reluctance to blast her with the brunt of his upset touched something deep inside of her. Even though he didn't have all the facts, in his shoes, she'd probably be ranting and raving and yet there he was, trying his best to spare her – even though she may have deserved at least some of his ire.
It was at that moment that she realized that she loved him. How could she not? From the moment they'd met he'd gone out of his way to make her feel special, wanted, cherished, appreciated. Everything she'd ever wanted. Was it possible to love two men at the same time? In different ways? For different reasons?
She reached out to touch him but he side-stepped. His rejection stung. Tears pricked behind her lids. "I know you're angry and you probably think that I should have told you who he was, but you have to try and see things from my side."
He snapped his briefcase shut and turned to face her, his tone even, but not without regret. "You don't get it. I told you once before, I don't care who he is provided he stays out of my way. That isn't the issue. I'm disappointed because you didn't tell me you work for him. This isn't about the Arrow, Felicity, it's about us. Our relationship. Trust. After I found out, I rationalized your silence. I tried to be understanding. You didn't know me well enough, you needed time. So I tried to show you in every way I knew how that you could trust me, that you could share that part of your life with me. But you were never going to tell me, were you?" He sounded so defeated, so wounded.
She swiped miserably at a stray tear that trickled down her cheek. How could she make him understand that telling him would have broken a promise she'd made to someone else? "Probably not," she admitted.
"Tell me why," he pleaded earnestly.
I wish I could. Another tear plopped onto her cheek. "I'm sorry, Adam. I don't know what else to say."
He ran a weary hand across his face and her heart went out to him. He was a good man and she'd hurt him. She hadn't meant to, but it had been inevitable. Sooner or later they would have reached this point. She'd just never imagined it would possibly be this painful. "I should go," he said, picking up his belongings.
"Can I call you later?" she asked hopefully. "We need to talk."
Slowly he shook his head. "I think it's best if you didn't. There isn't much else to say, is there?"
Felicity's heart sank to the floor as she absorbed the undeniable truth. He was breaking up with her. The knowledge knocked the breath from her, making her lightheaded. She swayed slightly and instantly Adam was here, his arm steadying her. "Felicity?" he asked, his handsome face filled with concern.
"I'm fine, thank you." They stared at each other, her eyes taking in the tinge of sorrow marring his otherwise handsome face. Unconsciously, he raised a hand and traced the curve of her cheek softly. The gesture was so sweet, she leaned into his touch, desperately wanting to make him stay. "Adam-"
His voice low and filled with anguish, he whispered, "Take care of yourself, Felicity." And then he was gone.
After she could no longer hear his footsteps on the tiled floor, Felicity crumpled down into the nearest seat and dropped her face into her hands. The man she loved had walked out on her and she couldn't even blame him. Whoever had said that you could have everything in life had clearly never been in her predicament.
"You seem distracted," Sara said. "That's the third time I've knocked you down…and I wasn't even trying."
Oliver looked up from his vantage point on the floor. She was right, he was distracted. Dammit. Usually he didn't find himself flat on his back more than once, if at all, when they sparred. Flopping down beside him, she extended a hand towards him and pulled him into a sitting position. "Sorry," he said.
"Today must not be your day. You didn't bring you're A-game earlier either. What's going on?" she asked, wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead.
Oliver looked at her, her words striking a chord. "Nothing to worry about."
She raised an eyebrow. "Ollie, spit it out."
"Sara, I don't want to hurt you."
"Felicity," she replied, knowingly. There was no reproach in her voice.
Taken aback, he asked, "How did you know that?"
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the bottle of water beside her and took a swig. "I'm not blind. I could see this coming a mile off and never understood why neither of you could."
"I didn't break up with you-"
Lifting a hand she halted him. "I never thought you did."
Relieved, he accepted the bottle she offered him and drank deeply.
"You love her," she stated, without preamble.
He sputtered and coughed. "No subtlety, I see."
She laughed. "You know me, that's not my style. I cut to the chase." She watched him. "Well?"
"I don't know what you want me to say," he responded frankly.
"I want you to tell me the truth."
He sighed. He had never been good at keeping things from Sara. She knew him too well. "Yes," he admitted, looking her straight in the eye. "I do love her." A little uncomfortable, he attempted to explain, "Sara-"
"No, no. Please don't apologise," she assured him, touching his arm. "I meant it when I said that I wanted us to be friends and as your friend, I also want you to be happy. My feelings aren't hurt. " She smiled. "Have you told her how you feel?"
He shook his head. "She's dating someone else. It's not right that I ruin that for her. Not after all I've put her through." Felicity deserved to be happy and if that wasn't with him, as much as it hurt, he'd learn to make peace with it.
She was looking at him strangely. "You've changed."
Feeling self-conscious, he shrugged, not commenting.
"The old Ollie would have taken what he wanted and not cared about the people standing in his way."
He felt ashamed to hear her say that. "Maybe that's not how I want to be anymore."
"I'm glad," she replied, softly. "You know, if I met someone who made me want to be a better person and became the catalyst that drove me toward that goal, I wouldn't let him go."
"I don't have a choice, Sara," he said with resignation.
She huffed. "Since when? I'm not telling you to steal her away, I'm telling you to let her know she's got options."
Annoyed, he replied. "It's not that simple."
She was silent for a moment. "There's something else," she added intuitively, watching him closely.
Squirming a little under her scrutiny, he nodded. "Is it even possible to be in a relationship when we do the work we do?
She looked at him thoughtfully. "You mean a real relationship? The love and commitment type?"
"Sara-" he started apologetically.
Shaking her head to stop him, she continued, "I'm sure it must be really hard. More than ever you need to be able to compartmentalize, to keep the personal and the professional separate. Unfortunately, lives may depend on it."
That was his exact fear. Just an hour ago he'd almost let a dangerous criminal get the better of him because he'd been so distracted by his current emotional upheaval. His head hadn't been completely in the game and that was a dangerous prospect. He'd been lucky that he'd managed to salvage things in the knick of time and nothing serious had happened as a result of his pre-occupation, but it could so easily have gone horribly wrong. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't afraid that it might happen again and next time, the consequences could be devastating.
"I worry about that," he replied, honestly, verbalizing for the first time what he couldn't deny was a genuine concern.
"Is this because of what happened earlier?"
He nodded. "You just admitted I wasn't focused."
"It happens sometimes," she replied, shrugging.
Olive gave her a look of disbelief. "It never happens to me."
"Look, I know you love Felicity and so it's natural to want to pursue that. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way." She took another swig of water. "There is no book of vigilante rules that says you can't be a crime fighter by night and a dedicated boyfriend by day. However, the challenge lies in being able to manage both relationships without one or the other suffering." She paused. "Can you do that?"
"Today I definitely didn't," he admitted. "These past few weeks I've had so much going on. I know things are slipping. I'm slipping."
She touched his arm. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself."
Frustrated, he stood. "I can't take it easy either, Sara. What we do…it's important. I can't afford to enter a fray when I'm not 100% focused on the job."
Moving to stand beside him she asked, "So what are you saying?"
Sighing he pinched the bridge of his nose. "That maybe I've been deluding myself. Maybe being with Felicity, or anyone for that matter, isn't even an option right now."
"Come on, Ollie. It was one incident. Nothing happened. Don't start making irrational decisions based on something that may never happen again."
"And if it does?" he asked, vehemently. "Could I live with that? Knowing it was my own selfish desires that put the lives of innocents at risk?"
"So what's the alternative? You spend forever alone? That's no way to live," she reminded him gently.
"This was my choice, Sara." He pointed to his green suit. "Donning that mask was a conscious decision I made. I don't just get to give that up, I can't. I have a responsibility that I cannot take lightly. This city needs me."
Sara looked at him sadly. "And what about Felicity?"
His shoulders drooped. "She's with Donner and despite my personal feelings towards the man, he cares about her. She could do a lot worse."
"Wait a minute. Why does it sound as though you've already made up your mind about this?" She poked him in the chest. "Are you giving up?"
He turned away from her, not wanting her to see his pain and confusion. "Honestly, I don't know."
