"You're bleeding." Catherine cooed gently, trying to reach Sara's arm.

"Leave it." Sara sighed pulling her arm out of the way and hissing with pain. "I've had worst."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean that I have to let you bleed. You have to remember that I love you and I want to look after you."

"I'm not a baby." Sara seethed, standing slowly, moving away from the car, running the fingers of her good arm through her hair. Why was she acting this way? She loved Catherine and she had always wanted someone other than Aaron to be there for her. What was stopping her just letting Catherine be there for her? She sighed again closing her eyes; her pride had well and truly been dented. Sara Sidle big bad Demon hunter just got stabbed by a homeless junkie. A homeless junkie whose parting shot had been to tell Sara that Catherine had once been on the game and had been round Nevada more times than $50 chip.

"At least let the Paramedics look at you." Catherine tried again walking a little closer to Sara. When she stiffened and took another step away, Catherine could no longer hold the tears in. She was scared she hadn't seen Sara this closed off in a long time. It felt like she was losing her and that hurt like hell. She knew something had been said between Sara and the nuttier who had attacked them; she had no idea why the ramblings of a nuttier would wind Sara up so much.

"If I talk to the Paramedics, then I'll have to talk to the police and I'm not going to."

"So what are you going to do, bleed to death?" Catherine challenged, her pain morphing into anger as she watched the woman she loved self destructed in front of her.

"No, like I said I had worse. I'll fix it."

"Sara."

"Sara, what? Yeah Cath I've had worse and I've patched myself up. You don't like it, tough it's part of who I am."

"It's not who you have to be though, Sara. People love you, I love you. What does it matter if we talk to the Police?"

Sara took deep breaths in and out through her nose. She had no idea why she was going off on Catherine over this. Catherine was right, she was loved but she was hurting and she had never been good at that.

"If we talk to the police then we'll have to give statements then we all know what happens next they call in CSI, you want to tell the gang that you we're here with me."

"What is that meant to mean?" Catherine demanded all thoughts of Sara bleeding going out of the window as Sara slowly mad her angry.

"Well you can't seem to find the courage to tell your daughter that I'm your girlfriend so how the hell are you going to tell the guys?"

"Oh my god you really are petty. The most important person in my life is my daughter. End of story and I will talk to her when I feel ready."

"When you're ready so this isn't about us then this is you making sure you stay in control of me?"

"I've never wanted to be in control of you, never, I love you."

"Isn't that a kind of control?"

"Maybe in your world," Catherine sighed, she knew exactly how Sara was going to take those words.

"I'm sorry my fucked up past is an inconvenience to you." Sara spat out as she walked away from Catherine.

%%

Slamming her purse on the table Catherine cursed into the darkness. How the hell had the night ended so badly? The night had been amazing she had never had a date where she had been treated like such a lady, revered almost. If she ever met the idiot that had attacked them she might have something to say to him. Why them, she asked herself and let out a bitter laugh. How many times had she sat listening to victims of crimes ask that very question. Flopping down into one of the chairs in the kitchen, resting her head in her hands she let her tears fall. She wanted Sara there with her, she wanted to know she was safe, wanted to know if Sara would ever be able to accept the love and support she so badly wanted to give her. She had really thought they were getting somewhere, of course she had taken Sara's heartfelt admission that she would always tell her exactly what was going on, with a pinch of salt. She had though not expected Sara to hide from her at the first attempt. All Sara's walls had gone slamming back up with such force it had given Catherine a headache. Heading up the stairs, she headed for the shower placing her cloths from that night in the trash bin, they had Sara's blood on them and she never wanted to see them again. Letting the warm water run over her aching tense muscles, she could not relax, not while she had no idea where Sara was. The logical thought was that he would go straight to Aaron's, though she did not feel like waking and worrying Aaron if she had chosen somewhere else to go. Stopping the water and stepping out off the stall, thoughts of all the places she might go slowly started to worry her. The thought of her turning to Sofia or Nancy in her moment of need choked her. In truth there was quite a few people that Sara could turn to that had been there for her when Catherine herself had decided to shut Sara down. Deciding that there was no way she was going to get any sleep that night she headed to the couch in the lounge and found a mind numbing news channel to try to block out the thoughts of Sara.

%%

"Life or death." Aaron grumbled wiping sleep from his eyes as he shuffled to the front door in his apartment. He had hoped that just ignoring the constant banging at the door would make it go away, no such luck though, all that had happened was it grew louder. Aaron swung the door open and all thoughts of killing the person on the other side of the door and going back to bed fled from his mind. "Sar'." He gasped taking in the form of his blood socked sister. It was a sight he had seen a lot over the years, though he was quick to realize that he had never gotten used to it. "What happened?" He shook himself out off his inaction, and pulled her into his home by her good arm.

"Got stabbed." She told him with a nonchalant half shrug.

"Got stabbed." He shook his head, leading her to the bathroom. "Lets try that again, shall we?"

"Some nuttier mugged me and left a present."

"And you're not at the hospital because? Oh who am i kidding you go voluntarily to a hospital!"

"I was going to say it's a long story."

"Well if you want me to stitch your arm, I want to hear it." Aaron made her sit on the toilet seat and helped her pull her t-shirt and her shirt over her head. "That looks deep are you sure you want me to do this?"

"Yeah please, you stitch, I'll talk."

"Ok sit still. I'll go get you something to drink, this is going to hurt."

%%

"So it's been a long time since you had to sow me up, huh." Sara grimaced and took another swig out off the bottle of whisky Aaron had given her.

"Yeah and I've missed this." Aaron shot back sarcastically.

"I was on a date with Catherine. Ouch," Sara pulled her arm away a little, holding her hand to the offending appendage looking at Aaron in surprise.

"Sorry." Aaron pulled her arm back placing a kiss on her arm before carrying on his work. "You just took me by surprise that's all. A date with Cath?"

"Yeah and we got mugged."

"On a date with Cath?" Aaron repeated still a little shock at hearing that little piece of information.

"Yeah Az, I was on a date with Cath. I asked and she wanted to have dinner with me. We kissed and I held her hand."

"God please, I never want to know that you and Cath have kissed." Aaron scrunched his face up wiping that mental picture from his mind. "Ok, so you and Cath were on a date and you got mugged so why are you here getting stitched up and not with her?"

"We had a fight."

"Ah I see, what did you said?"

"Nothing and I think that's the point."

"I'm lost." Aaron wondered why keeping up with Sara always seemed to be such hard work.

"I was a little wound up by something the nut who stabbed me said and then she wanted to look after me and I panicked, my mouth is never my friend."

"Done." Aaron told her gently applying ointment to the wound and covering it with a bandage. "What did he say to you?"

"Who?"

"Knife man." Sara stood up testing out her arm, wincing a little at the pain as she stretch out the arm. Aaron held out his hand, taking the dirty clothes pointing in the direction of the draw she could find some of her clean cloths. Sara sat on the end of Aaron's bed T-shirt in hand.

"He said that Cath used to be a hooker."

"And you just believed him?"

"Part of me always wondered if she ever took that step when she was dancing."

"Ask her."

"What if all I get is a slap, and my marching orders?"

"For asking a question she may not like it but you can ask?"

"I'm scared." Sara replied softly.

"Of Catherine being a hooker?"

"No I don't think so. Anyway I'm scared that I can't let her love me the way she wants."

"Why?" Aaron asked gently, pulling his sister close.

"She wants everything Az. No one even wanted or stood a chance of getting everything. Maybe I'm in over my head and I should just call it quits before anyone gets hurt."

"Anyone gets hurt Sar? If you dump her now, you'll hurt her, I guarantee you. And baby you'll hurt you too because we both know you love her and you want her to be there. Now stop sitting here wallowing and looking for the easy way out and go talk to Catherine."

"I'm not a coward."

"No....Then prove it." Aaron dared her, standing and pointing to the door.

"Wow can I at least get some sleep first?"

"I guess it would be best if you did. You are a cranky bear when you're tired." Aaron smiled ruffling his little sister's hair, hopping that Sara and Catherine manage to work it out in the end because he truly believe that being with Catherine would be good for his sister.

%%

A gentle tapping on her window brought Sara out off her daydream. She had no idea she had been sitting there so long till she checked the clock before pressing the button to lower the window. 12:26 the numbers read, she was pretty sure they only said 11:04 when she has pulled up outside Catherine's house.

"Planning on sitting there all day?" Catherine asked from the open window.

"Still not worked that one out."

"Well I'm guessing you came here to talk and there's no way I'm doing that in my front drive." Catherine turned to head back into the house and Sara watched as Catherine left the door open for her. She smiled as that one action seemed to sum up the place she found herself in. She had a choice she could follow Catherine in through the open door and see where it would take them or she could run and possibly keep running for the rest of her life. Sara was tired she felt like she'd been running forever running from her parents, from Stars memory even from god damn monsters. She really wasn't sure if she could go on running at some point everyone need to stop would it really be so bad to stop right her right now and let Catherine really love her. She adjusted her rear view mirror taking a moment to check her reflection, for a split second she was sure she saw Star smiling back at her and in that moment her mind was made up.

'No more running Sidle!'

Getting out off the car, locking it, she jogged up the steps on Catherine's porch through the open door and closed it behind her.

"Wow, it moves." Catherine said mockingly from the kitchen when she heard her front door close. Taking slow steps trying to gain some courage on the way Sara slowly headed to the kitchen.

"Yeah, it moves." Sara stood in the doorway to the kitchen watching Catherine walked around bare foot, making coffee. She had been in Catherine's house many times; all of them though were while she was watching Lindsey. She had never been there without Lindsey and she had never had the chance to watch Catherine move around so relaxed, and not be scared that she would kill her if she caught Sara looking. "And it's sorry."

"You always are Sara, always. And I'm glad you're sorry, I really am but I'm too old to play these push me, pull me games any more. I thought we were moving past that and I'm tired."

"Tired of me." Sara asked closing the gap between them as quick as she could. This conversation was starting to sound like she was going to get binned and she was never letting that happen. "I'm not letting you give up on us, Cath." Sara told her, placing her hands on the counter on either side of Catherine's body, trapping Catherine between herself and the counter. Catherine tensed for a moment at the feel of Sara's body so close behind her. She relaxed after a moment turning in the small space she had so she could face Sara. She looked at her for probably the first time that day and realised just how tired she looked. Dark bags under her eyes indicated to Catherine that Sara had probably gotten about as much sleep as she had. Catherine hated to feel like she was punishing her but she needed to be straight with Sara. They might as well call it quits right now rather than go on like this.

"You seemed so willing to turn your back on us last night."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. You were so keen to pushing me away rather than have me close there to help. Did you go to Aaron's, did he patch you up?" Catherine prodded at Sara's arm, in the general vicinity of the wound she had sustained the evening before. Sara winced a little, but did not complain, she simply took the arm out off her shirt to show Catherine a carefully bandaged wound.

"Yeah."

"Do you have any clue how much it hurts when he's the first person you turn to?"

"No." Sara admitted no able to look at Catherine finding her feet suddenly very interesting.

"No, Jesus Sara, is that all you can say?" Catherine seethed smacking her hands on Sara's chest repeatedly, trying to get her to step back.

"Cath please, calm down." Sara pleaded grabbing her arms as she raised them again. Sara pinned them to her sides bringing her head down to the side of Catherine's so she could speak in her ear. "Please stop hitting me, Cath." The plea hit straight to Catherine's heart and she stopped fighting against Sara resting her head on Sara's chest.

"I'm sorry you must feel like you spent your whole life being beaten up."

"Yeah, sometimes," Sara sighed resting her cheek on Catherine's head. "I know I hurt you last night and I know it must hurt to think that Aaron is going to be there every time I need something, I should come to you for."

"I'm not sure I can live like this. I love you so much I'm just not sure I have all of you." Slowly pulling herself from the embrace letting go of Catherine's arms Sara gently placed her thumb and forefinger under Catherine's chin tilting her head up till she was looking her straight in the eye.

"You have every part of me. You even have parts of me I never wanted you to see. I love you." She confessed earnestly. Sara's eyes flicked from Catherine's eyes to her lips and after a beat she lowered her head to meet Catherine's. Catherine read her intentions and moved her head from Sara's path. There was no way if she kissed her then that Catherine was going to get the answers she needed from Sara.

"Sar' I don't think you realise how much last night hurt me." Catherine told her solemnly. "It's not kiss and make up time. That's not going to happen as soon as you want. In fact I have no clue how we go from here. There are no more words on your part and I'm not sure I want to invest the next few months of my life on this to find out when the going gets tough, you shut down again. I need more than that and so does Lindsey."

"I would never hurt Linds"

"I know because as her Mom I'm not giving you that chance."

"Cath please," Sara pleaded softly, desperately.

"Cath please what? What words do you have left to make it ok?" Sara closed her eyes and sighed. This did not end here today she was going to make sure of that. Losing Catherine would hurt much more than opening up to her. Sara just had to find the right words no matter what Catherine said there were still words she could use as long as they were straight from the heart.

"You want me to open up you want to know all of me, I'm not sure I even know me sometimes, but I want you to know me. I want you to see through me and be as comfortable with me as you are with yourself. You say I'm scared but I'm not, Cath I'm petrified. Everyone I've ever known, ever loved had left me, hurt me or died. Everyone but Aaron. You say I need to open up and let you love me; I need to know you'll catch me when I fall. So we find ourselves at an in pass, we either both decide right her right now that it's not worth the risk that what we could have together would never be enough to risk getting hurt again."

"Or?" Catherine's voice was tiny and for a moment Sara wasn't sure she had even heard her.

"Or we both realise that we were made for each other, we both stop pretending or trying to hide the fact that nothing we have ever felt has been this strong before. Admit that we don't want to live without each other and trust that we will be there together next time." Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves Catherine looked up into Sara's eyes, tears streaming from her own as she cupped the brunettes cheek. "Hey those beautiful eyes should never cry because of me." Sara told her bringing her own hands up to mirror Catherine's hold on her. She gently wiped tears from her cheeks before gently kissing her nose.

"They're happy tears I promise." She smiled through her tears. "That was beautiful."

"Like I remember saying once I just speak the truth."

"Well truth is I love you and you're right it has never felt like this even Eddie never made me feel so in love or loved. I never wanted him with every fibre of my body, never burned for him never cared about him so much that I got distracted from other things wondering what he was doing if he was ok and I never lost concentration at work because he walked into a room and smiled."

"Wow you can charm a girl." Sara smiled playfully kissing Catherine's forehead. "So do we get a go at making this work?"

"Sure as hell we do, I love you and I have never wanted you as much as I do right now."

"So you're hot for me?" Sara asked dropping her tone, nudging Catherine's thighs apart pressing her own thigh between hers. Sara smiled at Catherine's deep groan, happy to be the one pleasing her. "You look so hot right now." Sara whispered in her ear, tracing the lobe with her tongue and gently biting down. Catherine let out a whimper and ground herself harder onto Sara's thigh.

"What? Desperate for you and riding your thigh like a crazy woman?"

"Yeah you have never looked more amazing." Sara told her before running her hands in her hair and pulling Catherine's face to her so she could kiss her. It started out as a press of lips that Sara deepened as she ran her hands down Catherine's body till they were resting on her ass, pulling Catherine tighter to her. She used her height advantage to rock into Catherine and pull her up on her thigh till Catherine's feet no longer touched the ground and she was straddling Sara's thigh. Catherine moaned into their kiss at the new feelings this position created in her. Sara took advantage of this and slipped her tongue past her lips. Catherine welcomed her greedily, teasing the muscle with her own, fighting for control of the kiss. As they parted for a much needed air, Catherine threw her head back trying to control her ragged breathing and Sara took the chance to taste the soft pale skin of her neck. Catherine groaned and ground her hips into Sara's thigh harder, as she felt Sara bite down on her pulse point and then gently sooth the area with sweat kisses.

"God Sar' if we don't stop now I'm going to lose it in a moment."

"Good I want to see that." Sara smirked loosening the tie on Catherine's joggers and running her hand under the material. They both moaned as Sara's handmade contacted with warm soft flesh. "God your skin feels more amazing then I could ever have imagined."

"Your hands feel better on me, than anything ever has." Catherine panted as Sara's hand dropped lower. Letting Catherine's feet touch the floor so Sara could slip her hand into Catherine's panties she cupped warm wet hair. She paused for a moment to appreciate where she was and exactly what she was doing. Taking her index finger she ran it slowly in Catherine's wet folds. Sara nearly cried Catherine felt so amazing, like velvet to the touch.

"God you're so wet." Sara groaned trying to stay upright.

"All for you baby, always for you."

"Good, you feel so good so soft, Cath you're amazing. I bet you taste amazing too." Sara told her pulling her fingers out. She pulled them up to her face. "God you smell fucking amazing too." She smiled pulling her index finger in to her mouth. "Umm." She half groaned half moaned leaning in to Catherine a little. "I love the way you taste, you taste like honey." Before Sara got the chance to repeat the process with her other fingers, Catherine guided Sara's fingers to her mouth. At that point Sara was sure she was going to come without Catherine laying a finger on her. Once Catherine had cleaned Sara last digit, she placed a kiss on Sara's palm before guiding her hand back into her pants and right where she needed it most.

"Please baby I need you." She hissed out as Sara circled her clit with a finger.

"What do you need baby?" Sara teased sucking on Catherine's ear lobe running her finger around Catherine's entrance but never dipping in.

"I need you…Oh god… need you so bad… Inside me please." Catherine moaned franticly rocking her hips trying to get more pressure.

"Only had to ask." Sara smiled slipping two fingers as far as she could slowly inside Catherine.

"Fuck yeah." Catherine groaned thrusting her hips to meet Sara's hand. Sara pulled out and thrust in faster with three fingers. Catherine was no longer able to hold her head up or keep her eyes open she rested her head on Sara's chest never once slowing the pace she had set. God Sara felt amazing, she was going to come hard and she knew it would be soon the feelings were growing inside her it felt like every part of her body was alive for the first time ever.

"Cath." Sara called to Catherine. Sara could feel her tensing up and she wanted to see her face as she came, there was no way on earth Sara was missing this show. "Baby." Sara cooed and Catherine finally managed to lift her head up. "That's it baby." She told her kissing her deep and hard. "God you're so wet, so tight." she whispered in her ear. "Come for me baby, let go I'll catch you." Never breaking the pace they had set, Sara ran her thumb over Catherine's clit back and forth when she got the reaction she wanted Catherine bucking harder on her hand and Sara increased the pressure, running her thumb round and round till she felt the mussels inside Catherine grip her fingers pulling her tighter.

"God, fuck yes … baby fuck I'm coming Sar' baby."

"I'm here, it's ok. Come for me baby."

"Fuck."

With one last flick, Catherine felt herself explode lights danced before her eyes and she was sure if Sara had not had her arms around her, she might have collapsed to the floor.

"Shit that was amazing." Sara panted, guiding them both to the floor, pulling Catherine into her lap. Sara groaned as Catherine rocked her hips against her, Sara's groan reminding her of her own need. A need that she was desperate to satisfied, that only one woman could satisfied because only one woman had ever own her heart completely and she could wait for that woman to satisfied and she satisfied her more too.

"That was meant to be my line." She told Sara kissing her. "Shit I'd ask where you where learnt to do that but I don't think I want to know but it has never felt that good."

"Never?" Sara asked sceptically. raising an eyebrow.

"Never baby and I've never felt this spent."

"I best carry you then."

"Where?"

"Well my butt is getting numb."

"What about you?" Catherine asked sending thrills through Sara as she ran her hand over the seem of Sara's jeans causing a delicious friction where Sara needed it most.

"I don't think I want to get down and dirty on your kitchen floor"

"My room."

"Sold." She told Catherine kissing the top of her head. "Cath," she called her name gently as she helped her to her feet.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. I haven't shown you my skills yet." Catherine smirk, but her eyes let Sara know that she knew exactly why she was being thank and it had nothing to do with sexually skills.


So what did you think my first time ever writing a girl on girl sex scene so i hope you enjoyed love to know what you thought.

Thanks for reading =)