"Knowing what, Eric?"
"I do not like thinking about the ones you have loved before. I do not like that you defend them. I do not like knowing, seeing, feeling it. It has been … unpleasant." Eric's blue-eyed stare was as intense as ever. "I thought you would find it unpleasant as well."
So he was going to the play the Ex Factor. And he should know better than to decide for me about how I will feel.
"I am not stupid or blind, Eric. I know that many women came before me. I just never imagined any of them would matter a lick. And yet, here she is, walking all over my life, traipsing through yours. And you keep me in the dark. Did you think I wouldn't notice there was something between you?"
"Between us there is 1,000 years of life. Viviane has the knowledge to lay my life bare to the world, to you. Perhaps she would expose darker moments, moments that would take you from me."
"And not telling me about her wouldn't? I know you are a vampire, and I know what vampires do, have done. I don't always like it, but I have to try not to think too hard about it when it's not right in front of me. Eric, you always have a plan. A plan within a plan. You are the master of your world. I have seen you kill. And you're afraid of what your ex-girlfriend might tell me?" I was on the verge of full seething at this point.
Eric closed his eyes. "Yes."
I wondered what could she tell me. He still didn't open his eyes. "Do you love her?"
He met my eyes. "In a similar way to Pam, yes."
Something kept coming back to Pam, and I couldn't put my finger on it.
"Why did you let her stay with you? With me?"
"My obligation as sheriff and friend. When she twisted your little negotiation around on you, it was amusing and useful. I planned to tell you after she left. The snake began what he thinks is a stealthy little campaign to get rid of me before she arrived and intensified later. Your safety was more important than your need to know about Viviane then. With her here there for those days, I could focus on the bigger issues."
"So you passed me off on her?"
"No. Her presence was no different that Bill's or Pam's, only I didn't have to worry about her trying to have sex with you. You stayed with Pam the first night Viviane was in Shreveport. And she is much neater than Pam."
I had to laugh. Viviane is thorn in my side right now, but she had never come on to me or referred to how delicious I smelled. And she was tidy.
"So why couldn't she stay with Pam? They seem to entertain similar interests – shoes, clothes and such."
"You are aware that Pam is attracted to Viviane?" I nodded. "I commanded Pam to not touch her. I have never done that." I had to laugh. "Viviane's tastes are typically masculine, but I did not want to deal with that." He frowned.
"So you told Pam she can't sleep with Viviane? Why not just ask Viviane to not mess with Pam?"
"I have no control over what Viviane does." He looked angry about that. What on earth?
"OK."
He went on with whatever his excuse was. "I did not believe she would take a real interest in you, but it is as always. You are unique and mine and the most important woman in my life, and she has been my ally throughout a millennia and has not known me to keep a human around very long. I segregated her from the rest of my life for so long, it is difficult to change. I have erred, Sookie."
"You can say that again."
"If that is your wish, I will."
"Why doesn't Pam know about her?"
"Because she didn't need to know." He rubbed my ear. "Why don't you eat while I talk?"
"As long as you tell me what I want to know, we can start at the beginning." I shoved the list Claude and I worked all afternoon on at him. "And don't you leave anything out, Eric Northman."
Eric stroked my face and kissed the top of my head before settling in with the list. "I think I can work these in."
"You better," I told him before I returned to my beyond fantastic salmon over polenta. He seemed to be steeling himself to start and was taking far too long. "Hey, I'm still mortal over here. You can go anytime."
He laughed and kissed my forehead before he began. "As you know, I was with my maker for a great many years by force." I did and nodded. "When I was less than a century vampire, he left me for a time in Greece. I still do not know what he was doing." He leaned back, arm around the back of the booth, not touching me, but still sitting close. "It was the first taste of freedom I had, and I was determined to spend time with as many women as I could. I wanted to forget what I had been forced into, to lose myself.
"I spent many nights enjoying the riches of the old nation. The feeling of loneliness crept in; I knew Appius had made me in part because he was lonely. I didn't want a child; I knew I was not ready. I thought about having a pet. Many vampires I met had them. But I didn't really want to deal with the endless tedium of a human's existence.
"I spent nights wandering the streets, looking for something to bring meaning to my endless darkness. I guess modern humans might say I was depressed.
"After I fed, I spent hours watching the water, remembering my home, wondering when I could go back there safely. On my nightly visit to the water outside the city, I saw her, standing on the edge, pale skin glowing in the moonlight, dark hair drifting in the breeze. And I wanted her more than anything I had to that point." He stopped to look down at me. "Is this what you want to hear?" I felt his apprehension – unusual.
"Yes. I am tired of the secrets, Eric. I need to hear this, even though I might not like it." I squeezed the hand resting near my shoulder. "What did you say to Viviane that night?"
"She spoke first when I approached. She giggled that way she has and told me I looked like trouble. The first night, we just sat there watching the water lap the banks and talked. She spoke my native tongue. I later discovered one of her gifts is to acquire languages easily. It has been very handy throughout time. I convinced her to sleep with me a few nights later."
I winced. I knew it was coming, but I still couldn't help it.
"How many years were you together?"
"Oh, the first time, 25 or so."
"Wait, did you just say the first time?" I heard my voice rise.
"Sookie, you asked me last night when the last time I slept with her was, and I told you the truth. That is what you want?" He was trying to keep his voice low. There was only a handful of other people in the bar, and no one was a vampire. But I knew he didn't want to cause a scene.
I didn't either because I wanted to hear the rest even if it hurt. I wanted to stay calm, and I appreciated that he didn't do his normal bit with pushing calmness through the bond. "I do. But are you sure you want other people to hear?"
"Stop, feel." I did and felt a little pulsing. "She cast a small illusion that no sound comes from here unless you are within 5 feet or so."
"How?"
"She was and is Fae. It is a gift." He took a drink and looked at me for sign to continue. I waved my hand. "Appius returned to collect me when we reached northern Europe. They did not get along, so she left after just a few weeks. I missed Viv after all those years. Even as a vampire, she is light and funny and shares my joy for living, which so many of my kind do not. I resented my maker for causing her to leave so much he released me a century or so later to 'end my sniveling.'"
"Did you find her?" He nodded.
"She had discovered a talent for the stage, and I saw her many nights later, telling a bawdy tale on stage in a sort of gentlemen's club in Rome. For the time, she was scantily clad, yet she wore three times the fabric you do tonight." He laughed at the memory.
That would be quite a bit if you counted the petticoat thing pushing my skirt out.
"She asked me to travel with her, so we spent many years on the road, with her doing shows and me learning the business of bar ownership. It is not so different now, just more paperwork and regulations to deal with."
"And you were lovers that whole time?"
"On and off, yes. But we were more companions, friends, than anything. Like Pam, but generally less annoying There was little possessiveness or need for it. Decades passed, she became bored with moving so often, and we came into great control over our thirst, rarely killing those we drank from. It helped when she wanted to try settling and establishing herself a bit, to become a star, just to see if she could do it. That's when she met her first human king. You know about that."
I did and shuddered at the thought of her involvement with them. Some of those portraits didn't look all that sexy.
"As you saw with Victor, she is very adept at using her charm and sweetness to bring even the most powerful and unrelenting men under her control and whim, even without the glamour. Kings were no match for her. Jewels, riches, whatever she wanted, she had."
"Does that work with you? The charm. The little 'pleases' and smiles that have people falling all over themselves for her."
"Not in some time, although I feel I'm about to be drawn into plans she hid in sweetness and light." He groaned. "Even Felipe finds it hard to tell her no, and he is our monarch. Men gave her everything and more, and we fought. I feared we would be discovered. Viviane told me to leave if it bothered me so much.
"After years of fighting, I left her in France. Since then, there have been spurts of years together. The last real stretch of time was in Victorian England. It was not a break so much as us yelling that we'd never nest together again if the other had the last light-tight place on earth and parting ways."
Eric's survival instinct would kick in and he'd give up. "How do you stay so close to her?"
"We met every 50 years near the Tower of London. Now we just call each other." He sighed. "I could not see her for 50 years, and she acts as though she saw me last night, not skipping a step."
"So what you're telling me is, she is your best friend?"
He looked confused. "I do not have best friends. She possibly knows more about me than any other creature based on the time I have known her." Eric grazed my shoulder with a fingertip. "But I do have a best girl I need to be getting to the theater soon."
"Yeah, you're best friends." I finished the confection the waiter brought during the part with him discussing her king fetish. "Do we have to go the show?"
"Yes. I am curious about few things, but this is one of them. Do you really want Pam to give you the play-by-play if you miss it? It could take longer than the show itself."
I imagined her describing each costume. "Not really. And I do want to see what she can do, even if I am angry about her right now. I just have one more question right now: Why has she been so insistent on you telling me about her?"
"She is sometimes right about things. She said it would only be worse for me to put it off."
"And then I ran off."
"That was definitely worse, lover." He slid out. "We will discuss the new questions you will have and the things I have discovered after my meetings." Eric grabbed my hand and slipped me out of the booth, kissing me. "I cannot lie to you."
"But you hid things from me."
"I had the wrong plan." Eric's lips met mine hesitantly.
I leaned into him. It seemed right, and everything he told me felt honest.
"Eric, anything else you want to tell me before we go?" I knew more had to exist. Viviane's plans, for one.
"You look like a treat from the gods in that dress." I gave him a look that said that's not what I wanted. "Her plans, or what I can piece so far, later tonight. And what I know of the snake."
I still didn't get why it was such a big deal to tell me about his relationship with Viviane.
Unless there was something much, much worse left for me to find out.
