28.) Happy Feet - by Corli
.
Merry gives Pippin a foot rub, which Grishnakh finds suspicious.
.
Pippin stumbled into his dorm room and slammed the door behind him with a whimpering sigh. Finally! he thought with relief. But his relief came too soon, for as he turned from the door, he tripped over his shoes for the umpteenth time that day and fell flat on his face, the contents of his backpack spilling out beside him on the rug.
"Are you okay?" Merry asked from his desk, his tone somewhere between amused and concerned.
"No!" Pippin whined, rolling over to sit up. He ripped off one of the offending shoes and threw it across the room angrily.
"Hey!" Merry said, ducking out of the way. "Don't throw it at ME - I'M not the one making you wear them!"
Pippin sighed frustratedly. The last thing I need is another argument with Merry about Eta Pi! He took off the other shoe and started rubbing his sweaty foot, trying to fight back the tears that were forming. He had never really considered shoes before, but, after only one day in them, he'd come to the conclusion that they were designed solely as an advanced form of hobbit torture.
"Hey, what is it, Pip?" Merry asked, setting aside his homework and turning in his chair to face his roommate, now truly concerned. "Are you okay?"
"Do you know what it's like, Merry?" Pippin asked, still sitting pathetically on the floor amidst his books and papers. "It's like I've been walking around with buckets of cement attached to my feet all day. I simply can't help tripping over these heavy, STUPID things. And my feet SWEAT - did you know that feet sweat, Merry? And the sweat makes the bottom of the shoes all wet and smelly and gross, not to mention SLIPPERY." Pippin sighed melodramatically. "I just want my feet to be FREE again, Merry. I want to be able to walk across campus feeling the ground beneath my feet and the grass between my toes."
Merry smiled as Pippin finished his whining diatribe. "Then let's go, Pip. You and I can walk someplace for dinner and-"
"No!" Pippin interrupted adamantly. "I can't! If I'm seen ANYWHERE without my shoes this week, I'll be kicked out of Eta Pi."
Merry turned back to his desk, mumbling under his breath, "Is that so bad?"
But Pippin heard, and he threw his other shoe at his roommate.
"Oof!" Merry grunted, catching the pennyloafer in his gut. "Sorry! Really, Pip, I am. I guess that's not what you need to hear right now."
"You THINK?" Pippin asked sarcastically, getting up and walking the few feet to his bed, collapsing upon it with another melodramatic sigh.
"Scooch over, Pip," Merry said, standing up awkwardly.
As Pippin rolled onto his back and watched his roommate move towards the bed, he finally noticed that Merry was moving stiffly, as if in pain. "What's wrong with YOU?"
"Polo practice," Merry said simply.
Pippin sighed, not even attempting to hide his annoyance.
"Hey!" Merry said, sounding annoyed himself. "If you're gonna be like THAT, I won't rub your feet."
"Really?" Pippin smiled for the first time all day as Merry sat down at the foot of the bed and crossed his legs with a slight grimace of pain. "You'll rub my feet?"
"Of course," Merry said, picking up one of Pippin's sweaty feet and instantly dropping it back down on the bed. "Ew!" he said, crinkling his nose and wiping his hands on the comforter.
"I told you," Pippin said, lifting his foot and wriggling his wet, smelly toes in Merry's face.
Merry pushed the offending foot away. "Well, then we'll just need to wash them."
"In what?" Pippin asked, propping himself up on his elbows as he watched Merry stand up and search the room for something to soak Pippin's feet in. Finally Merry pulled down Pippin's shower caddy and dumped the contents onto Pippin's desk. "What are you doing?" Pippin asked.
"I'll be right back," Merry said, disappearing out the door into the hallway. A moment later he came back, sloshing water on the floor as he braced the door open with his foot.
"What's that?" Pippin asked, sitting up as Merry placed the caddy on the floor next to the bed and grabbed a loofah from the pile of Pippin's bath stuff on the desk. He then sat down on the floor himself, groaning slightly from the pain in his thighs.
"What do you THINK it is?" Merry said, grabbing one of Pippin's feet and placing it in the sudsy water.
"It's hot!" Pippin said, yanking his foot out and splashing water in Merry's face.
"Careful!"
"Sorry," Pippin said, grabbing his towel from where he'd thrown it carelessly on the floor that morning and handing it to Merry. Pippin then slowly lowered his foot back into the water, this time enjoying the soothing heat. "Aaaahhh - that feels nice."
Merry grinned up at him. "I thought it would." He began to wash Pippin's foot, gently removing the sweat and the grime.
"So?" Pippin asked expectantly as Merry continued with the footbath.
Merry looked up at him blankly. "So?"
"So, how was it?" When Merry still looked blank, Pippin rolled his eyes in frustration. "Polo practice?"
Merry looked up at him skeptically as he pulled Pippin's foot out of the water and toweled it dry. "You really want to know?"
"Of course," Pippin said, totally surprised that Merry would ask such a question. "I always want to know about you."
Merry smiled and put Pippin's other foot into the water. "It was...okay, I guess," he began warily.
But Pippin was impatient to hear details. "Did Eowyn introduce you to her uncle? Is he nice?"
Merry nodded. "Eowyn took me over to the stables early so I could meet her brother, and he totally took me under his wing, even showing me tricks of how to deal with the ponies."
"Ponies?" Pippin asked, confused. "I thought they used horses."
"They DO," Merry said, shifting uncomfortably from the pain in his thighs. "But Elrohir taught me that polo horses are called 'ponies' - he's Elladan's brother, and he was super nice to me, too. And Coach Theoden seemed nice as well. But...I don't know. Being around all those big ponies..." Merry trailed off as he removed Pippin's other foot and began drying it. "It was fine," he finished.
"Good," Pippin said, clearly not noticing Merry's hesitant tone. Looking down at his now clean feet, he wriggled his toes happily. "So now what?" he asked, looking expectantly at his roommate as Merry tenderly climbed upon the bed next to him.
"NOW I rub them," Merry said, picking up one of Pippin's feet and gently massaging the heel with his thumbs. "Just lie back and relax."
"How can I relax?" Pippin asked, squirming uncomfortably in his Eta Pi pledge clothes. "This sweater vest is all hot and scratchy."
"Then take it off, you dork," Merry said, extracting himself from the bed and once again sorting through the bathroom stuff he'd dumped onto Pippin's desk.
Pippin removed his Eta Pi blazer and sweater vest and threw them haphazardly onto the other bed before loosening his tie. He then lay back against his pillow, sighing, "That feels better."
"It LOOKS better, too," Merry teased, having found what he was looking for - a bottle of hand lotion. He sat back down on the bed and started rubbing lotion onto Pippin's foot.
"Ooh, it's cold!" Pippin said, jerking his foot away.
"Goodness you're picky!" Merry poured out more lotion into his palm and rubbed it between his hands to warm it. "Everything's either too hot or too cold to you."
Merry then rubbed the warmed lotion onto his roommate's foot, causing Pippin to sigh with satisfaction. "That's not either - that's perfect," Pippin said, placing his hands lazily behind his head and closing his eyes. He lay there, enjoying the quiet, peaceful sensation of Merry rubbing his heel, massaging the tension away with his thumbs.
"Oh, yes," Pippin moaned, enjoying the sensation. "Yes!"
Pippin heard Merry laugh. "And I thought you were loud in bed," he teased.
"We ARE in bed," Pippin pointed out, his eyes still closed.
Merry then moved on to Pippin's toes, rubbing lotion between them and then gently rubbing and pulling on each one.
"Mmmm," Pippin moaned. "That's nice."
The top of the foot came next, and Pippin couldn't help but smile as Merry ran his fingers through the tufts of curls.
"How'd you learn all this?" Pippin asked, opening his eyes and watching as Merry traced the path of each ligament from toe to ankle. "It feels so good."
"It's amazing what you can learn on the internet," Merry said, grinning at him. "And one interesting thing I read said that there's a pressure point on the bottom of your foot that's supposed to make you grow."
Pippin gasped as Merry found yet another sensitive spot and then grinned mischievously. "You keep this up, and I'll DEFINITELY grow."
Merry chuckled. "Grow TALLER," he explained.
"You mean like elves?" Pippin asked, fascinated.
Merry nodded. "Maybe that's their trick - maybe elves are naturally no taller than us, yet they've designed good shoes that capitalize on those pressure points."
"There's no such thing as 'good shoes'," Pippin corrected. "Shoes are evil and wicked and should be banned from - OHHHHH!" Pippin let out a loud moan as Merry took his foot between both hands and began kneading it. Everything else Merry had been doing had felt good on his sore foot, but it was nothing compared to this. It was as if Merry was wringing out all the pain, and after being strangled in shoes all day, the sudden release of all that tension into Merry's caring hands was overpowering. And Pippin wasn't one to keep such pleasure locked up. "Oh! Oh, yes!"
Merry chuckled. "You like that?"
"Yes! Don't stop!"
"How about this?" Merry asked, his hands continuing to knead the foot as his fingers dug into Pippin's arch, eliciting a gasp from the relaxed hobbit.
"AH! Right there! Mmmmm!"
A sudden knock on the door, however, instantly silenced him. Pippin's eyes popped open and he sat bolt upright as he saw his roommate standing and heading for the door. "Don't answer it, Merry!" he frantically whispered, the raw panic evident in his voice. "It could be THEM!"
Merry smiled, clearly amused by Pippin's paranoia, but he dutifully stopped where he was. "'Them' who, Pip?" Merry whispered back.
"Eta Pi! Maybe they're here to check up on me - make sure I'm wearing my pledge clothes and all."
"In the privacy of your own dorm room?" Merry whispered back doubtfully. "That seems a bit extreme, even for Eta Pi."
"Hey!" the gravelly voice outside the door called as the knock sounded again. "I know you're in there!"
Pippin's eyes opened wide with terror. "I think I know that voice!" he whispered. In his panicked state he couldn't quite recognize who it was, but he naturally feared the worst.
"I don't think it's someone from Eta Pi," Merry whispered, crinkling his forehead in concentration as he tried to place the voice.
"But what if it IS?"
Merry just stared at him. "Then get dressed, Pip."
"Oh! Right!" Pippin immediately leapt out of bed, intending to retrieve his sweater vest and blazer from the other bed. Unfortunately, he didn't look where he was stepping, and his foot caught the edge of the makeshift footbath, knocking it over and splashing water all over the bed, the floor, and himself, not to mention all the books and papers he'd spilled earlier.
"BUGGER!" Pippin whispered loudly, grabbing the towel from the floor and trying to wipe up the mess. Merry was almost instantly at his side, taking the towel from him.
"I'LL wipe this up - YOU get dressed."
Pippin nodded and ran over to the bed, grabbing the sweater vest and putting it on with such haste that he didn't realize it was inside out until he already had one sleeve in the blazer. He threw off the blazer, deciding that the shoes were more important. He knelt down, searching the floor for the offensive pennyloafers. Here's one - but where's the other? He remembered throwing both shoes across the room, but now he couldn't find the other one anywhere. And his movement was now hindered by the one found shoe, which he'd put on his foot so he wouldn't lose IT whilst looking for the other.
"Open up this door immediately!" the angry voice called out again.
Pippin looked to Merry, who had finished mopping up the water as best he could, and gave a panicked whimper, looking for guidance.
Luckily, Merry had an idea. "Get in bed," he whispered, slowly heading for the door. "Pull the covers up over you so he can't see what you're wearing."
"Great idea!" Pippin was nearest the "spare" bed, so he pulled down the covers and attempted to climb in. Unfortunately, because the bed was mainly for show, Merry had tucked in the sheets so tightly that Pippin had a hard time squirming his way into them.
Finally he was settled as best as he could be, and Merry gave him a questioning look, silently asking, "Ready?" Pippin nodded, and Merry turned and opened the door right as the knocking began again.
But the sight that greeted them was NOT, as expected, an impatient frat hobbit standing in the hall.
"Grishnakh!" Merry exclaimed, surprised to see their R.A., as Pippin breathed a sigh of relief under the confining blankets.
"I could hear you down the hall!" Grishnakh spit at them. "What's going on in here?"
"Why is it any of YOUR business?" Merry asked defiantly. "Quiet hours don't start until 10pm."
"True," he said, "it's only the middle of the afternoon - yet your roommate's already in bed." The R.A. glared at Pippin a moment, and then his eyes fell upon the wet towel in Merry's hands. "Make a mess?"
"Just spilled some water," Merry said, slowly walking over to the hamper and putting the damp towel inside.
"Water - sure," Grishnakh said doubtfully. He eyed Merry suspiciously as the hobbit walked back towards the door. "You look a little bit...uncomfortable, Brandybuck. A might stiff, even."
Pippin giggled from the bed.
Merry shrugged. "Polo practice," he said simply.
The R.A. snorted. "Yeah, right! A hobbit riding horses."
"Ponies," Pippin corrected, the blankets still pulled up to his chin. "And it's true. The team's open to hobbits now."
"And Orcs," Merry added matter-of-factly.
"Hmmm - well, I s'pose that explains YOU," Grishnakh said, his gaze traveling from Merry over to the bed. "But it doesn't explain what I just heard out in the hallway." He glared at Pippin suspiciously again before returning his attention to Merry, stepping menacingly closer to the small hobbit. "You know, Brandybuck, there's a RULE against cohabitation in the dorms."
The sound of Merry's weak gasp made Pippin suddenly realize that this was FAR more serious than some stupid Pledge Week activity. And now, it seemed, Merry wasn't talking - who could blame him, of course, with an Orc glaring down at him like that - so it was up to Pippin to get them out of this situation.
"Oh, we weren't cohabitating," Pippin said cheerfully, trying to squirm out of the tucked-in covers. "We were co-foot-itating."
"Co-WHAT?" Grishnakh spit out.
"You see," Pippin began rambling, still trying to extricate himself from the blankets, "I'm pledging Eta Pi, and this week we have to wear all our pledge clothes, which include SHOES! And, as you know, hobbits don't WEAR shoes, so today was a very uncomfortable experience for me and my feet. So all Merry here was trying to do was make my feet feel better by rubbing them. And I guess I got a wee bit carried away and made more noise than I should've. But certainly you understand, especially as YOU'RE wearing shoes right now. Don't they make your feet hurt? They certainly make mine. See?" Pippin announced, finally pulling his foot free from the tight grip of the sheets and holding it up above the bed, showing off the pennyloafer that was stuck onto its end. "It's nothing but a shoe...and some very sore feet."
Grishnakh's face showed the barest hint of a smile. "A hobbit in shoes - that ain't something you see everyday."
"You will every day this week," Pippin corrected, standing up and hobbling over to the door with his one shoe still on. "Shoes are required for all the pledges. But my yelling isn't, I suppose, so I promise I won't be loud anymore when Merry rubs my feet. Even if it's NOT quiet hours." And Pippin grinned winningly at the Orc.
But Grishnakh was unmoved. "See that you don't!" He took a step out into the hallway and then turned back, adding ominously, "Just know that I've got my eye on you two. And don't think 'co-foot-i-whatever' stories are gonna work on me next time, Took - I know what you two are really getting up to at night." And with that he turned and left.
"Phew!" Pippin said, closing the door behind the Orc and turning back to face Merry. "That was close. So," he began eagerly, pulling off his one shoe and throwing it across the room, "will you rub my other foot now?"
But Merry didn't seem concerned with foot rubs anymore. And, although Pippin didn't realize it, Merry's response was the first thing he'd spoken since Grishnakh had uttered the word "cohabitating".
Grabbing Pippin by the shoulders and looking straight into his eyes, Merry whispered, "We're in BIG trouble, Pip."
...
Sam set his tray down on the table and then dropped heavily into a chair, eliciting a worried look from his best friend.
"Sam, are you all right?" Frodo asked, his forehead crinkled with concern. "You looked exhausted! You're running yourself way too ragged. And doesn't rugby practice begin today?"
Sam nodded. "Yeah, I was just there. It went well, and I think we're gonna have a really good season this year. But I gotta eat quick now 'cuz my shift at the Perk starts at six." And he quickly began to down his mashed potatoes.
Frodo shook his head. "I don't know how you're gonna survive with school AND rugby AND all your jobs."
"Oh, don't worry about ME, Frodo. I'll be fine. Now that rugby's started, I've readjusted all my work schedules so I don't have to work past midnight except on the weekends." He grinned at Frodo, but the dark-haired hobbit didn't look too pleased.
"You have to take care of yourself, Sam," Frodo said earnestly. "I know you need money for school, but you also need SLEEP for your sanity." Frodo smiled warmly at his friend. "And just let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
Sam blushed and stared down at his forkful of gravy. "Well...actually, Frodo...I could really use some more help in Elvish. We started nouns today, and I just don't get 'em at all."
Frodo nodded. "Of course I'll help you with your Elvish, Sam. Any time."
Sam looked up shyly, smiling with gratitude, and was about to thank Frodo when an overflowing tray was suddenly plopped down between them. Sam watched, perplexed, as the tray's owner pulled a chair over from an adjacent table and squeezed it in-between Sam's and Frodo's.
"Evening," Merry said cheerfully, taking a seat in the crowded quarters.
Sam couldn't think of a suitable response - he was too busy shifting his chair over to make room for his friend's, at the same time wondering why Merry had chosen to sit in this smooshed spot when the entire rest of the table was empty.
Pippin must've been thinking the same thing.
"Why are you sitting there?" Pippin asked, standing on the other side of the table with his tray in his hands, staring blankly at his roommate.
Merry shrugged, his mouth already full of food. Taking a quick drink to wash it down, he replied, "We ALWAYS sit here."
"At this TABLE, yes," Pippin said, setting his tray down next to Frodo. "But usually we sit together."
Merry sighed, his cheery demeanor starting to fade. "We don't ALWAYS have to sit next to each other, Pip - we're not in elementary school anymore."
"So why are you squeezing into a space that's only big enough for a six-year-old?" Pippin asked. As if to make his point, Merry's elbow suddenly collided with Frodo's, causing Frodo's milk to spill all over the tray. "See?" Pippin said as Merry handed several paper napkins to Frodo to clean up the mess.
"Pippin," Merry said through clenched teeth, and Sam saw Pippin flinch at the sound of his own name. "Did you not hear anything I just said back in the room? We have to be careful now - we can't just go on the way we have been."
Pippin laughed. "But this is just DINNER, Merry - there's no need to be paranoid. Grishnakh doesn't even EAT in the cafeteria."
Sam had no idea what they were talking about, but apparently Frodo had some inkling. "Did Grishnakh catch you two?" he asked worriedly.
"No." "Yes."
Merry glared at his roommate across the table as Pippin continued, "He didn't catch us doing anything like that - Merry was just giving me a foot rub."
Sam smiled at the thought. "I like foot rubs," he said absently.
"So does Pippin," Merry said accusingly. "And that's the whole problem. We weren't ACTUALLY doing anything, but Grishnakh THINKS we were. And now he totally has it out for us."
"It's not a big deal, Merry," Pippin said. "In case you haven't noticed, he's not the sagest herb in the garden - we can outwit him."
"He's already caught us, Pip," Merry said. "He KNOWS about us. Now all he needs is proof."
"And that's what I'm saying - we'll outsmart him so he CAN'T get proof."
"Exactly," Merry said. "Which is precisely why I'll be sitting as far from you as possible from now on. And I mean ALL the time, not just when Grishnakh might be around. We must be vigilant. The instant we let our guard down, rest assured Grishnakh will be there, ready to kick us out of school."
"Out of school?" Sam hadn't really been following the conversation since his mind had been wandering about Pippin's suggestion to add sage to the mashed potatoes, but Merry's statement brought him instantly back. "They'd kick you out of school for a foot rub?"
"No." "Yes."
As the two roommates glared across the table at one another, Frodo leaned behind Merry and whispered to Sam, "I'll explain later, Sam."
But Sam shook his head, upset on Pippin's behalf. "If there are dorm rules that will kick you out of school just for a foot rub, then those are some pretty stupid rules."
Frodo smiled at him. "I definitely agree, Sam."
And Merry must've, too, for his eyes suddenly twinkled and the corners of his mouth began to turn up in a thoughtful smile.
...
