He had been sitting on the couch with Iris, listening to her melodious laughter and feeling so much guilt, when the call came. It was Cisco, telling Barry that the unthinkable had happened. Caitlin Snow was dead. Getting to his feet, Iris watched him in concern.

"Barry, who was that?" Iris asked softly, carefully.

"Cisco. Caitlin died," he said numbly. Iris opened her mouth as pain crossed her features, but Barry didn't stay long enough to find out what she wanted to say. He was running.

XXXX

When he reached Star Labs, he skidded to a stop in the medical bay, and came face to face with Caitlin's lifeless body.

"No," he whispered brokenly. "No!"

Barry ran to her, and stopped right next to her, grabbing her hand. He noticed it was cold with dread, but that didn't stop him from tugging on it.

"Caitlin, open your eyes. Now," he demanded, knowing in his heart it would be useless. But he'd be damned if he didn't try.

Cisco appeared by him then, eyes swollen with tears and face covered in grief.

"There's nothing you can do, Barry," he croaked, and Barry grit his teeth.

"Don't say that. I can fix this," he snapped.

"How?" Cisco whispered, and Barry thought fast.

"I'm a time traveler, I'll go back and undo this," he said, but Cisco shook his head.

"Don't you think we've suffered enough with your time traveling?" Cisco snapped, and Barry winced. He knew his friend was right, that he couldn't do that, even though he so desperately wanted to.

Barry bit his lip, staring at his friend. She looked peaceful, something that had been lacking in her life of late. He knew that he should let her go, but he didn't want to; he wasn't ready to face that kind of heartache.

"Where's her necklace?" Barry demanded, once he saw it wasn't on her.

"Julian took it off, to save her," Cisco muttered. Barry saw red.

"So, he took it off because he thought he'd save her that way? With no respect to her wishes?" Barry snapped, and Cisco sighed.

"I said the same thing, but little good it did," he said wearily. Barry studied his friend; he looked exhausted, tired to the bone.

"You should go home, get some sleep," Barry muttered.

"I don't think I'll be sleeping for a long time," Cisco said as a tear slipped out and slid down the tip of his nose. Barry nodded his head.

"Still, you shouldn't be here. Shouldn't have to see her like this," he said. Cisco studied him.

"You should go home, too, back to Iris," he said, and Barry didn't have to work hard to hear the bitterness in his voice. Cisco had known the truth. How Barry harbored feelings for both women. He swore he'd never tell.

"Cisco," Barry began, but Cisco raised a hand and halted him in his tracks.

"Don't, Barry," he snapped. "You couldn't be man enough to tell Caitlin how you felt, or to be honest with Iris. I don't want to hear it."

"Please," Barry pleaded, hoping to make amends; to make things right. But, Cisco just shook his head.

"No," he said simply. "You don't get to do that. If you weren't so busy with trying to figure out your feelings, you could've been here, like a real friend. She needed you. And you let her down."

With that, Cisco turned on his heel and strode out of the room, leaving Barry alone to his thoughts and a friend he was never going to see again. A friend who could've been something more if he wasn't so scared.

He looked at Caitlin before running a weary hand over his face.

"I just want to say, I'm sorry," he began shakily. "So, so sorry."

He paused, and looked at her face, trying to find the right words as he did so. Her eyes were closed and there was no hint of anguish etched into her features; she could have been sleeping. He knew the truth.

"I know I wasn't here for you this year, like a real friend should have been. That was in part because of Iris, but also in part because I was afraid of my growing feelings. I didn't know how to put into words how I felt about you; how to tell you. And now, I don't have the chance to even be able to try," he murmured, shoulders shaking with the weight of his grief. It was like losing his parents all over again.

He stared down at her, and placed his hand over hers', hoping to warm it with his. He thought over all the nights they had spent working together as a team to bring in meta humans. She had trusted him inexplicably, and Cisco was right. He had let her down. Feeling his face screw up in pain, he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, Caitlin Snow," he whispered. Then, feeling as if he couldn't bare a second more of unreleased anguish, Barry Allen cried.

Author's note: What a sad one to write. Hope you like it. Prompts accepted in the comments. XOXO