A/N: Let me be real with you guys. I feel like these chapters are getting harder and harder to write, and worse and worse to read (if that makes sense). I would never abandon a story, obviously, but I'm just warning you that this was not the direction I intended this story to go. Anyway, thank you all for your continuing support. We actually have about six chapters after this one, and then an epilogue... and then we're done. Slightly terrifying, right? Yeah. I know.

Anyway, I know that you guys are probably getting really fed up with these guys and their continuous drama. I ask that you don't come after me with pitchforks and knives at the end of the chapter.

*Hides behind a desk* Enjoy the chapter (if you can).

Oh, and as per usual, my beta is the freaking best (love-never-dies-90). Seriously, you wish you had a beta like her.


As soon as Enjolras got to his car, he started regretting his earlier words. He'd had a few drinks before the show (and a couple after) to calm his nerves – which really wasn't like him, though that seemed to be his state of mind that night – but he'd never expected that it would prompt him to get so mad at Eponine (mad enough to reveal what he'd be battling with for the past few days).

Her face when Marius had hugged her had just set off something in him that he hadn't been able to control. Enjolras was now realising that he'd made a huge mistake. For once, it had been him overreacting and jumping to conclusions, even though he'd always claimed to hate it when his friends did so.

Even worse, he now had to suffer through another performance with her, after saying all those things.

What could he do to fix this? Could it even be fixed? He loved his friendship with Eponine, even though it hurt to be around her a bit more now. He didn't want to throw it away – though last night, he had felt as though it was relationship or nothing, not that he even knew how to be in a relationship – but he couldn't stand the thought of being around her, talking, laughing, drinking, with her knowing how he felt.

Enjolras had barely come to grips with it himself. He'd hoped that she could help him, that they could do it together, and after their kiss in the dressing room... god, he'd really thought she felt the same way. But it didn't matter now. He had fucked it all up.

Upon arriving home, he decided he didn't want to think about it anymore. The apartment was cold and empty, so he made his way to his room and got into bed, trying to block out the whole world.


The next day, he wasn't having much luck trying to block out the world.

He was currently in his dressing room, having arrived ten minutes earlier and gone straight there to hide from the world (well, from Eponine). Enjolras knew that he would have to talk to her at some point, but he had yet to run into her – according to Courfeyrac she had stayed the night at Marius and Cosette's, and even though the girls were friends and it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do, he felt a twinge of annoyance at the thought of Eponine staying at Marius' house.

It wasn't jealousy, per se, although there was a bit of that mixed in. It was an awful feeling that made his stomach turn, cause by the knowledge that Marius would never see Eponine as anything more than a friend, and though the man meant well, Eponine would end up hurt. Enjolras couldn't stand the thought of it.

On top of it all, this was all completely new to him.

He'd never felt this way about anyone, and to have it be Eponine who he fell for? It had caught him completely by surprise.

A knock on the door pulled him away from his thoughts. Before he could respond, the door opened and Fantine entered.

"Have you seen Eponine?" She asked, looking distressed.

"No, not since last night." Enjolras responded, in what he hoped was a neutral tone.

"Well, she was supposed to be here half an hour ago, and if she doesn't show up, we're going to have to get someone else to do her part – we don't even have properly trained understudies!"

Fantine left the room in a flurry of dark hair and muttering, slamming the door behind her.

Enjolras hesitated for a moment before picking up his phone, which had been resting on the table, and dialling Eponine's number. It rang twice before –

"Enjolras, hi!" Her voice sent a shiver down his spine.

"Where are you?" The man said immediately.

"I'm on my way, I was with Gav and I lost track of time."

"Well, you better get here soon. Fantine is freaking out."

"Right – I'll be there soon, I promise. But, uh... is that all you wanted to say?"

Enjolras sucked in a breath. "What else do you want me to say?"

"An apology would be nice." Eponine's voice grew hard and Enjolras gulped.

"For what?" He asked tentatively, although he already knew the answer.

"For completely overreacting? For telling me you had feelings for me and then just walking away? For not even listening to my side of the story?"

"Right. I am very sorry for that. Particularly the second part."

"You mean about your feelings for me?"

Enjolras' throat tightened.

I can't do this. I can't let her know the truth when she can never feel the same way about me. I have to tell her that I didn't mean it. We can't go back to being friends if she knows how I feel about her. It'll be a mess.

"It was a momentary lapse in judgement. I was high off the rush of performing, and I'd had a bit to drink... I see now that I was just confused." The words tumbled out of Enjolras' mouth before he could take in a breath.

"You... you what?"

Enjolras started pacing as more lies came out of his mouth.

"I apologise for any embarrassment I may have caused you last night. It won't happen again."

"But – but you sounded..."

"I know how I sounded. But it's ridiculous, anyway. You could never feel that way about me, nor could I feel that way about you."

"Enjolras, you said that you-"

"I'm sorry for all the trouble, Eponine. I now know that what I thought I felt was nothing. I was caught up in the moment. Do you forgive me?"

"Of course." Eponine sounded distant. Enjolras briefly wondered why. "I'll be there soon."

"I'll let Fantine know."

Then there was a click, signalling that Eponine had hung up.

Enjolras put the phone down and slumped down in his chair.


Their last performance came and went. Eponine had given an amazing performance, yet Enjolras couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong. He assumed she was feeling weird about the previous night's events – or maybe she was just feeling weird around him, he pondered, when she declined going out for a celebratory drink and decided to head home.


Eponine, having been on autopilot for the past few hours, didn't let herself break down until she got into Courfeyrac's car (he had offered to drive her home, presumably noticing she was in no state to drive). Tears started streaming down her face for the first time since Enjolras had held her in his arms when she'd revealed her awful past, and the memory of how safe and warm she'd felt in his embrace only made the fact that he'd so coldly dismissed her even more painful.

"Eponine, what..." Courfeyrac began, getting into the car, before trailing off as he realised she was crying. Instantly, he pulled her into his arms.


"So... do you want to talk about it?"

Eponine looked up as Courfeyrac made his way over to sit next to her on the couch, holding out a cup of tea, which she gladly took. After an embarrassing amount of crying in the car, he had driven her home and led her to the couch. Though most of her was numb, she could still feel the dread creeping in at the thought of explaining what had happened.

"Okay. But please don't tell anyone."

"You know I wouldn't." Courfeyrac responded softly, reaching out a hand to rub her shoulder.

Eponine took in a deep breath and had a sip of her tea before she began. "Enjolras and I... We were never really close before. We were friends, but we weren't close. And then... I don't know, one day we just kind of... started being really good friends. You know, we had drama together, and I moved into your apartment, and he really helped me out with all my family drama, and I – well, I did something stupid, as always, and I fell for him."

Courfeyrac raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, so Eponine continued.

"He helped me realise that I didn't need Marius, that I'm better than I thought I was. I didn't want to let myself hope that he felt the same way, because I did that with Marius and it was awful. But then last night, after the performance, you know how he stormed out? It was because he thought I still had feelings for Marius. Then he told me that he-" Eponine choked back tears, "-that he had feelings for me, but he walked away before I could tell him I felt the same way. I wanted to tell him today, after he apologised, but then he said that – that he had been drunk and confused and that he hadn't meant to say it and I had to go onstage and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going like this. Seeing him today nearly killed me. I can't keep – I can't..."

More tears came, but this time, Eponine felt numb, more than anything else. Finally getting the story out was reminding her of how much she was losing. It wasn't just being with someone she had feelings for... it was their friendship, too.

"Oh god, Ep, I'm so sorry... and after all that shit with Marius..."

"This is more than that." Eponine interrupted, wiping her eyes with the hand that wasn't holding her cup of tea. "Marius was an obsession. I was infatuated with him, or with the idea of him, at least. But Enjolras – fuck, I think it was real. It was the first real thing in my whole damn life and I blew it."

"Eponine, this isn't your fault."

"Isn't it? If I had just told him how I felt..."

"Stop." Courfeyrac said firmly. "That's not how it works. We are all terrified of rejection, and after your whole thing with Marius, it's completely understandable. Plus, none of us ever thought Enjolras would feel that way about someone. Of course you didn't want to admit your feelings to him."

Eponine took another sip of her tea.

"What are you going to do? You live with him. I can't be your buffer all the time. You're going to have to face him at some point."

"I know." Eponine put down her cup and turned to properly face Courfeyrac. "Was it me?"

Courfeyrac's face screwed up. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've had a hard life and I know I'm not particularly delicate or ladylike or whatever, but... I'm not completely disgusting, am I?"

"Eponine." Courfeyrac grabbed her shoulders. "Stop it. Don't do this. I saw you do it to yourself with Marius. Don't do it here, okay? It's not your fault – Enjolras is the one with the issues. You are beautiful and courageous and funny as hell, and I hate to be cliché, but if Enjolras can't see that... fuck him."

Eponine stared at her friend, whose words were reminding her of what Enjolras had said the night they first kissed.

"Do you even see yourself, Eponine? You are intelligent, and funny, and witty, and strong, and fucking beautiful. You have been through so much and yet you never go to pieces. You're resilient all the time, even though you don't need to be. You're caring and loyal and sexy and an amazing friend!"

"We must be looking at different people!"

"Obviously we are!"

The memory hit Eponine like a ton of bricks, and she could feel the pain of losing Enjolras washing over her again, so she leant forward and pulled Courfeyrac to her, before crashing their lips together. The man jumped in surprise but Eponine could feel the memory coming back with more force, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and tried not to pretend he was somebody else.

When she opened her eyes and saw black curls instead of blonde, she didn't let herself be disappointed. She simply stood up and walked out, leaving her friend and her tea behind, knowing that she had probably just made another damn mistake.


A/N: I promised some Ep/Courf, didn't I?