A/N: Guys. I am so so Sorry! That this chapter took so long. Life has been kicking my ass over the year that this went without an update, not to mention there were holes in the story I needed to figure out how to fill, and also that it took me so long to get back to it that I needed to read my own story over again, all added up to this last year and a half.
Thanks so much to the reviewers in this last couple months who gave me that last push of motivation to get this done. I think i've got everything planned out to the end and I think you all are really going to like what I've got in store. Thanks again so much for reading. I promise not to talk a year for the next chapter! Enjoy!
Chapter 28 – Left Unsaid
The Letter M closed his mouth for the fourth time. Stupid! Stupid! Why can't I just say it!? He'd been trying desperately to apologize to Zim, but every time he looked at the innocent (alien) child sitting next to him he knew that no apology could ever be good enough and the words got stuck in his throat.
What if Zim is still angry? But what if Bill was right about Irkens? Even if he is going to extreme measures to stop them, his paranoia about them coming to Earth has been justified. They're already here! What if Zim decided to tell his people what M did to him and they decide the whole planet is guilty? There were too many possibilities and all of them left M with sweaty hands on the steering wheel.
The only thing he knew for sure was that Dib trusted this child, and M trusted Dib, so that would have to be good enough. One more time. I have to say it!
M opened his mouth for the fifth time and a loud high-pitched yawn echoed in the car. Zim stopped what he was doing and looked up at M, who quickly defended himself, "That wasn't me." The yawn came again and both boys looked at the back seat to find Gir sitting up rubbing his metal eye cameras. Gir slowly looked at the both of them.
"Green-boy and Carrol!" The little robot squeeled delightedly, "how yew doing?" Zim's antennae dropped and he seriously considered diving out of the car. M's eye twitched. "How are you here?" he asked, torn between confusion and annoyance at being called by a woman's name as Gir had always done to him since it had first been made.
Gir made small but fast circles with its arms stretched out at its sides, "I was following a shiny fairy but then a angry rain cloud came and chased it and the brocoli away!" It looked so sad as it said this but then giggled hysterically. M rolled his eyes, "So you followed the cloud?" He could already see where this was going. Gir nodded happily.
"The cloud few me off to a magical land of hope and wonder!"
"DO NOT SING!" M snapped the instant that Gir finished its sentence. The little robot's mouth was opened wide, it had been ready to do just that, but, crazy as it was, it still had to obey orders. M watched it in the rearview mirror and was relieved to see it quietly close its mouth. Zim's antennae perked up, "It listens to you?"
M glanced over. Zim didn't look angry, and the distraction had made him momentarily forget his apprehensions about the boy. "Yeah. Well... sometimes. When you give it a direct order it will 9 out of 10 times listen." Zim said nothing in response, only glanced between Gir and the small gadget in his hand. M winced as the conversation died.
He once again worked up his courage. "Hey Zim… I just wanted to say… I'm sorry." From the corner of his eye, M saw Zim look up. "For hurting you… I mean… There's no excuse for what I did I just… hope you can forgive me." Zim shook his head cutting him off.
"I don't understand the meaning of that word. So I can't do as you ask." His response stung M; he should have known he couldn't make up for it so easily, but Zim wasn't done talking. "I can't forgive you, but I can say your apology is accepted."
"That's… fair… I guess." M ducked his head, and didn't say a word for the rest of the drive.
XXX
An alarm, of just one tiny blinking red light, was activated when Dib, Red and Skoodge reached the outer gates of the PEGS station. Bill's eyes narrowed on the traitor shown by the security cameras. He'd have to work faster.
"Is he hurt?" Red asked as Dib checked the guard lying on the ground outside the entrance gate booth. Dib ground his teeth as he desperately searched for a pulse. Damn it Bill! This is going too far for this damned obsession of yours. Not that everything else hadn't already crossed that line, but the only death Dib had seen before was his father's and that of a SEN agent long ago. Red and Skoodge exchanged a nervous glance when Dib finally stepped back from the body. He didn't say a word, but walked through the gate.
As members of the Irken race, they'd had death explained to them, but as children this should have been their first time seeing it. The man was limp as if he was sleeping but his head was turned a little too far to the left. But unlike most children, Red saw it on the day that Zim had gone crazy in the lab. When he realized this, he quickly averted his eyes. How many more have to get hurt because of the mistake I made…
Skoodge tilted his head, not understanding the situation. He'd seen blood before, and knew it and bruises meant injury, but there were signs of neither here. "Aren't you going to wake him up? Or call a medic? He shouldn't be left here, it could make his condition worse."
"Skoodge…" Red struggled for the words to explain.
Dib sighed, "Maybe you two should wait here." He suggested it only because he didn't know what was waiting inside the building. Were there more guards inside, whom had also gotten in Bill's way? If it wasn't safe for adults it certainly wasn't safe for kids, but Red vigorously shook his head.
"No. I don't want to stay here. I know what happened." He turned and looked Skoodge square in the eye and said, "He's not hurt, that human is dead. His condition won't get worse, and I don't want to stay here by a body." Skoodge scrunched up his face, but slowly understanding set in and just like Red he scooted away from the body, and over toward Dib, who couldn't help but notice that the boy's antennae were angled lower than previously.
He knelt to look them both in the eyes, doing his best to give a semblance of a smile. "I know you don't want to, but maybe it would be better to wait out here for Zim and M to get here?" Red shook his head even harder than the first time. Irritation growing, Dib pointed to the security guard's body. "It's going to be dangerous in there." Despite Dib's warning, Red continued to shake his head.
"You brought us with to help, didn't you?" He was defiant. The look in his red eyes told Dib that the child would argue with any mention of danger or safety that he could utter. While trying to think of a safer solution, now knowing how far Bill would go, he was distracted by a little green hand making a thumbs up gesture. Skoodge stood beside Red with his chest puffed up.
"Irkens fear nothing," he said with a smile. "Isn't that right?" Red smiled and nodded.
Dib sighed. Didn't matter the species. The innocent smiles of children was too cute for their own good. "I'm surprised, with all I've learned of your species, that you have a word for fear." In unison the two kids cocked an antenna and gave him a strange, nearly condescending look.
"Of course we have a word for it," Red huffed.
Skoodge smiled jokingly, "We learn it from the faces of the enemies of the empire."
Suddenly the smiles weren't so cute anymore. Dib was left stunned as they laughed about their classes and training, saying that recognizing fear was one of the first things they learned. They laughed, but a thought settled in the pit of Dib's stomach. He couldn't help but wonder if they really understood what fear was, or if they only knew the way it contorted a person's face.
Dib was lost in his own thoughts when Red and Skoodge turned to look up above the security station. Red yawned and started walking down the road. "No point in waiting out here then is there?" He stretched his arms behind his head looking as relaxed as could be, and ignored Dib's call for him to wait. His antennae twitched lightly following the sound of the security camera. As expected, it followed his movements. At least, it did until Skoodge scaled the pole from out of the camera's line of sight and pulled the attached cords from the back.
"What just…" Dib watched Skoodge climb down with a mix of confusion and worry. The kid presented him with the torn cables.
"That's a camera right?" He asked. Dib nodded. "Well someone was watching us," Skoodge reported calmly. Red casually marched back over. "Red drew their attention onto him so I could turn it off, but it's probably safe to assume there's more inside the building. Do you know where they're at to avoid them?"
Brows knit tightly, Dib grumbled realizing that Bill must have gotten access to the main control room. "Great…" To the kids he said, "I couldn't possibly remember where all the cameras are. I haven't been here for months. We'll just have to figure things out as we go."
"You forget things after only a few months?" It was a strange thought to both irkens, considering that the computer on their backs stored information in a retrievable format for longer than the children had lived. How could the humans survive without a PAK, Red wondered. He looked at Skoodge who shrugged, guessing his thoughts.
"Wow, I guess there's things they don't know about us either."
Dib, Red and Skoodge spun around, lasers protruding from the young irken's PAKs, as M strutted past the security gate. He made his way over to Dib as if nothing had changed. "And here I thought they were trained soldiers." Gir followed at his heel, making a mock salute at the world "soldier" before giggling silently. Dib gave M a small glare for his posturing. M could only shrug in response, interlocking his fingers behind his head.
Skoodge crossed his arms, "Of course we're trained. Right, Red?" But when Skoodge looked at the former bully whom he'd come to think of as a friend over the last few months, though he'd never say so, he saw the same fearful expression they'd talked about only moments before. Sure they talked about it like a joke, but every Irken knew it existed within their own species. Red's eyes were wide, and every muscle in his body tensed.
Just behind The Letter M, Zim stood in much the same condition. The two stared at one another, both unable to say anything or even send any transmissions between them. Dib and Skoodge both watched quietly, unsure of how things would play out. M did not share their subtlety. "How long we going to stand here? I thought we were in a hurry."
Dib sighed, "He's right we need to go." Zim nodded and followed Dib down the path to the building. As he passed Red whom had remained rooted to the spot, he said, "There are bigger things to worry about now."
"And which of you is saying that…?" Red asked. He kept his gaze on the ground in front of him, unable to bare the chance of seeing his former friend's face. Why did things turn out this way… I was only trying to help.
"Does it matter?" Zim continued walking before Red had a chance to reply. When he'd taken four or five paces his antennae twitched lightly. "If you truly wish to apologize then you must prove it to be so." He spoke quietly so that only those with an irken's strong hearing could make out his words. "And make note, Red. Any further action against Zim will not be tolerated." Red flinched at the tone of voice. Zim continued his march, and with another flick of the antennae, smiled up at Dib.
"I apologize for taking your sister away," he said.
Dib almost laughed. "You really think I'd be upset with the circumstances? It's fine, Zim. But are you alright?"
"I have no injuries," Zim said, holding up his hands as evidence. "And I am feeling more focused than I ever have before."
"Well if you're sure…" Dib wanted to continue talking. He wanted to be sure beyond a doubt that little Zim was alright. After Zim and M had left, but before Dib had gone on his way, Gaz surprised him by warning him about the "innocent" child. She said that Zim sometimes had a cold look in his eye and seemed far too calm, and that when that happened Dib had to promise to be careful.
For the moment, Zim was acting the same as he had the day after Dib had rescued him from the wreckage of his ship. But after all that had happened, should a kid be so calm? The way Red and Skoodge acted said it was a good likelihood that all irkens were in general calmer, but still… Something nagged Dib at the back of his mind.
Maybe it was still his worry about how Zim had escaped M's "interrogation," or about why he'd decided to go after Bill even before Gaz had struck up the deal with him. Something just wasn't adding up. As if the cute child he'd grown to trust and think of as another younger sibling, was hiding something from him. If there was one thing the Network had always complimented him on, it was his intuition, and as they headed into a potential battle with his former mentor, that's what worried Dib the most.
XXX
Bill cursed as the camera went dead. "I'll give the irkens credit. They're smarter than the little one." Bill leaned back in his chair. "I'd hate to have to enact my contingency plan before they unlock the computer for me, but maybe it's better to get them out of the way." He pondered the problem, but could come to no good solution. "Well after all the work the Professor put into this monstrosity, it's only right that one of his partners should be the ones to open the door to bringing it down."
In his pocket he thumbed a small remote control switch. All he needed was to wait for the right timing.
