I sat in a chair next to Izaya's bed for the third day in a row, eyeing the machine again with its irregular beeping sounds. I sighed, dropping my head in my hands. We finally got Izaya to settle down, but every now and then he'll shake and whimper in his sleep. Shinra could only get half of the medical pads back on his chest because whenever Izaya felt them nearing towards his skin, he started to thrash.
I bet that right there could be a difference between his life and death, but it seems as if he wants to die more than anything else. He gets squirmy when his IV has to be changed, and if he needs his pain medicine, he'll refuse to take it, resulting in Shinra having to crush it up and sneak it in his IV. His bullet wound has been healing greatly, but because of his heart condition and his current mental state, Shinra said he won't be leaving at the very least for three weeks, maybe even a month.
Sitting in this chair has been my routine since I moved in because it's obvious that Izaya can't be left alone. Four times within these past three days, we've had to sedate him from his crying episodes, the most recent one being only hours ago. I wish I could tell what was going through his mind, but I know that the biggest thing is his baby. More and more, I so desperately want to tell him the truth behind Kishou Orihara, but I'm so hesitant and scared. I've even related this to Shinra and Celty, and they don't even know what to do anymore.
I sighed again, looking up to see Izaya's limp palm lying next to him. Suddenly, I jumped when I felt something rub against my leg. I look down and see L.D. stroking his head on my pants, purring. He looked up at me with his greenish eyes and mewed, making the little silver tag on his collar with his name and my phone number shine brightly in the light.
I smiled, "Hey, Little Dude, what goes on?"
He stared at me, mewing again in concern. He rubbed against my leg once more.
I brought a hand to his head, scratching his favorite spot behind his ears.
"He'll be okay, L.D. I'm sure he will."
However, L.D. must've had a different plan and nipped my finger. I pulled my hand back and watched him run around to the other side of the bed. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he jumped on top of the bed, dangerously close to the numerous wires on Izaya's body.
"L.D.!" I whispered fiercely, "L.D., bad kitty! Get down now!"
Surprisingly, he ignored me and slowly paced over the gaps in the wires, stepping over the sleeping raven's stomach, and he gingerly made his way over to Izaya's hand.
"No, no, no, no, no…!" I almost shouted when the cat started nudging his pale, slender fingers, "L.D., stop that!"
I reached my hand to stop him from doing anything else, but he suddenly stopped and latched his teeth into my finger, trying to pull it towards him.
"What the…?!" I exclaimed, but I hushed when L.D. relaxed his grip on my digit as he brought closer to Izaya's. He pulled my hand over the informant's open palm, making them intertwine very loosely. I stared at the message the little black cat was trying to get across to me, almost in shock.
"L.D…." I started, softening my eyes, "You want me to hold Izaya's hand…is that it?"
L.D. meowed, dunking his head and nuzzling it against our two hands. I sighed in contentment, releasing my held breath, and gradually brought the frail palm into my own, tightening my grip around it. His cold skin was a deep contrast to mine, but I rubbed my thumb against his knuckles. Then, I slowly brought it to my face, wrapping my other hand around it to hold it closer.
"Izaya-kun…" I whispered, but out of the blue, I wanted to press my lips against that cool skin. I lowered them to his forefinger, placing a gentle kiss right on the tip. L.D. watched my every move as I kissed it again in the middle of the back of his hand. I had no idea what I was doing, but I suddenly felt a need to protect him.
From what?
I don't really know…I've already missed so much work in these past few days because I rarely get up from this seat, but I do know that when or if he recovers, his life will never go back to the way it was unless something changes.
"Shizuo."
I heard my name and turned to see an exhausted Shinra leaning against the doorframe. Still, he had a warm smile on his face to hide the bags under his eyes.
"Hey, Shinra," I said putting down Izaya's hand, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I was going to tell you that Celty and I – well, technically just 'I' – are about to have dinner."
"Oh."
The doctor sighed as L.D. jumped down and ran out of the room at the thought of food, "Shizuo, you need to eat something."
"I'm…not hungry," I tried to lie.
"Even after almost a day without food?"
"I had a sandwich this morning…and some water…"
"That's not enough, Shizuo," Shinra chided, "Come on and eat with us."
I furrowed my eyebrows, ready to decline the offer again, but I just turned back to look at Izaya, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.
"Don't worry, Shizuo," I heard Shinra say, "Other than his heart, Izaya's in a pretty stable condition. Please come with me and eat something. I'm begging you. I don't want to watch both of my very best friends wither away like this."
For a second, I thought Shinra was about to get on his knees and cry, but I just sighed in defeat.
"…Alright. Okay…" I got up from my chair, not wanting to part with the raven in the hospital bed, "I'm coming."
Shinra said something close to a "Thank God" under his breath and joyfully led me out of the room.
"Well, how does a meal with fried shrimp and curry bread sound to you? Hmm?"
Izaya POV
…Shizu-chan…was just here, right…?
I felt him…hold my hand…and he kissed it, too…
My auburn eyes squinted and partially opened, still not able to get used to the brightness around me. I feel more of those damned wires and stuff on my chest, and I want nothing more than to take them off and rid myself of that God-awful beeping noise.
They think I can't hear that? Matter of fact, it's loudest in my ears.
I whined softly in the green gas mask, trying to turn my head to get it off, but it was futile. I raised the hand that Shizu-chan held, holding it some ways above my face.
"Shizu…chan…why are you…doing this…?"
The beeping started speeding up again, and I grabbed the mask, ripping it off and throwing it to the floor. I panted from the sudden action, my monitor going even faster. I felt small drops of sweat coming to my forehead, and my cheeks started flushing.
"Shizu-chan…" I tried to call, "I…I can't…Shizu-chan…please…stop it…"
I was referring to that wretched noise from the machine. My hands started shaking, itching to stretch towards the thick green cord that made me cling to the strands of my life. I twisted my head again, wanting it to shut off so I would finally be in peace.
I wanted to cry again, but only a few tears escaped from my eyes.
"Please…turn it off, Shizu-chan…please…stop it…"
I was getting more frantic by the minute, uncomfortably shuffling my legs.
"Shizu-chan…! M-make it…make it stop…! Make it stop…Shizu-chan…!"
My voice was too frail and weak to make any type of noise loud enough for anyone to hear, and I ended up tiring myself out from my fuss. My eyes then rested again on the cord to the monitor, connected to the machine as well as an outlet close to the bed. I started thinking as the beeping continued.
…Pull it…
…Stop this noise…
…And maybe you'll see your child again.
"Kishou…" My hand slowly approached the dangerous cord, "I…I can't…live without you anymore…I can't…"
Shizuo POV
"Ah, how delicious~!" the underground doctor stretched his arms above his head, halfway through his meal, "Wouldn't you agree lovey-dove?"
Celty typed in sarcasm from the other side of the table, [Is that supposed to be a joke?]
Shinra laughed, "Oh, no, no, no! I'll let you cook the next one, my dear!"
[Yeah, right…]
Shinra and Celty seemed to be the only ones involved in conversation, seeing as though I was barely eating a thing, let alone speaking. Celty and Shinra caught whiff of my gloom, letting their laughter drift off somewhere.
[Shizuo, you've hardly touched you food.] Celty's message read, [We're really concerned about you.]
"Yeah," Shinra pointed out, "I thought maybe it was just another side effect, but you've been tied down to that room since day one. You look completely worn down."
I nodded, taking another small bite out of my curry bread just to make them happy, "I don't feel like doing anything else…I can't do anything else…"
[You can at least eat and sleep.]
I sighed, toying with a shrimp tail on my plate, "I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I mean, how do you think he's going to live the rest of his life if he gets out of here? Simply put, he just won't."
The couple sat in silence for a few minutes, and L.D. finished up his bowl of food and ran down the hall to play. Shinra pushed up his glasses.
"Well, I knew he was going to go through some type of depression, but I never would've dreamed of the possibility of him getting shot. He's resisting to eat, too, like he doesn't even want to get better…I didn't think it would be this bad."
"I had a thought it would be." I responded, "When we met up, he wanted me to kill him on the spot, then he got angry because I wouldn't. I thought that maybe since I looked like his child, he'd be more willing to talk to me, but all this is contrary to that."
[Shinra.] Celty turned towards her husband, [Please just tell Izaya the truth. He can't take much more.]
Shinra's grey eyes looked downward in thought, "…Celty…I'm so scared to tell him because of what he might do…"
"You think I'm not afraid, too?" I asked, "I've been thinking the same thing. Izaya's strapped to a hospital bed, cords, wires, and pads stringing everywhere from his body. Hell, he's practically on life support with a mask over his face - there's no way he can take all this for three weeks! He needs some-"
MEEEEEOOOOWW!
We all froze at the sound of a cat's yowl coming from down the hall.
"Oh, God…" I jumped from the table, running as fast as I could to the operating room, "L.D., what's wrong?!"
Shinra and Celty followed suit, rushing to catch up to me. I wasn't even halfway there when I heard the erratic noise of the machine. I busted in, horrified to see Izaya desperately trying to pull the plug out from his heart monitor, my cat yowling and urgently scratching his arm to get him to stop.
"IZAYA! IZAYA, STOP!" I screamed and ran to the bedside, grabbing his wrist.
Shinra and Celty dashed to get various medical equipment to sedate the informant, but Izaya thrashed violently.
"Izaya, stop!" Shinra yelled at him trying to gather a stronger sedative, "Please, Izaya, stop this! You don't know what you're doing!"
"I…I can't…!" Izaya shouted, "I…I can't live anymore…! Let go, Shizu-chan – please-"
"Stop it, Izaya!"
"Let-"
"Izaya, dammit – LISTEN TO ME!"
"GO!"
"IZAYA!"
…The beeping stopped, but we all froze to the sound of a flat line.
"I-Izaya…?" I said above a whisper, grasping his hand that held the now-loosened cord in his palm.
I couldn't even hear Shinra's yells to Celty to get a defibrillator. I couldn't even hear L.D.'s distressed meows and he practically ran around the room in a panic. A cold sweat ran across my body as I watched the dullahan plug the machine back up, not a sound to be heard.
Izaya…
…Why would you-
"Izaya!" Shinra pushed me out of the way as the two electric pads charged up. Celty pulled me back even further to try and relieve me of my shock. I was shaking, almost wanting to break down on the floor and cry.
"Hang on, Izaya…" Shinra murmured frantically as he rubbed the pads together, "Come on, buddy…come on, buddy – CLEAR!"
He put the pads on the raven's chest, giving him a healthy dose of electricity to revive his heartbeat. His chest jerked up, but the flat line continued.
"Izaya, come on!" the doctor had tears in his eyes as the defibrillator charged up again, "Don't slip under me – come on! CLEAR!"
Another sudden jolt of his chest, but no sign of his life.
"Izaya, please!" Tears were now pouring down Shinra's face, "Please don't die on us now! C-CLEAR!"
Nothing again.
"CLEAR, CLEAR, Clear...clear...Goddammit, clear..." the underground doctor trailed off, his arms weakening as his tears dripped on Izaya's lifeless body.
Shinra's sounds of grief combined with Celty's trembling form – I couldn't take it. I tore away from Celty's grip and ran to the bed again. Shinra was charging up the defibrillator again, ready for one last try. I grabbed the raven's hand, holding it close.
"Izaya, please don't go! You can make it through this! You can go back to work, you can watch over humans, and you can have another child! I know all about Kishou Orihara and what happened to him, but you can't die now! We can help you – I can help you, but please…" my voice cracked, "You…you can't die…please, Izaya…"
I tore myself away from him, and Shinra shocked him.
...Then, beeping was heard.
It was slow…but I definitely heard it.
I looked down to see Izaya barely breathing on his own again.
"Izaya…?" I called softly, going to the back of the bed where his face was up towards me, and sure enough, his eyes opened.
"...Shi...zu...chan…Shi...Shizu-chan…" he mumbled weakly.
I sighed in utter relief, dropping to my knees to get eye-level with him. Shinra breathed out a huge smile and wiped his tears away.
"Oh, thank God!" he said grabbing a gas mask and putting it over the informant's mouth, "Izaya, I'm so glad you're alive – we all are!"
"Oh…Shizu-chan-"
I didn't hear him call me, "Listen, don't you ever do that EVER again – do you hear me?! What the hell were you thinking?!"
"Shizu-chan…"
"See? This is exactly why I didn't want to leave you! If I have to stay in here 24/7 – sleep, eat, everything else – then I will!"
"Shizu-chan…"
I finally stopped my lecturing and sensed his voice calling to me.
"Y-yes?"
He shut his eyes and whimpered, "…I'm hungry."
My face broke into a wide and happy grin as well as Shinra's.
"Yes, of course…" I chuckled, stroking his hair, "Of course you're hungry after all this time. What would you like?"
"…O…oo…"
"'O'? 'O' what?"
"…O…ootoro…"
"Fatty tuna, huh? Consider it done."
Celty and Shinra took the hint and went to the kitchen to prepare the informant the fish. I took this time to wipe the sweat off his forehead, putting my cheek against it.
"Izaya…please don't scare me like again…please…"
"…But Shizu-chan…" he huffed, "I-I don't…understand…Shizu-chan hates me…"
I leaned in closer, taking ahold of his pale hand, kissing the tip of one of his fingers.
"No, Izaya. I don't. Not anymore."
Me: Ah, this story's going in all kinds of directions...how do I come up with this?!
Shizuo: Beats me.
Izaya: Hey, Writer-san - a word.
Me: Yes?
Izaya: ...WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL ME?
Me:...How the hell should I know? It's fun? Almost as fun as putting Peeps in the microwave~
Izaya: Sadist.
Me: Honey, you really can't talk.
Shizuo: Alright, guys, enough. Please review.
Me: Yep! And have a Happy Easter! (BTW: if you happen to see a dead rabbit on the road with a basket filled with colored eggs, I DIDN'T DO IT. I hung out with my Usa-chan plushie all day!)
Izaya: Again - SADIST! DX
