Dear Uncle Mattie,Do you know anyway to get Illinois to like me? I can't figure out a way. I really like him. And I could use your help on.

Your loving niece,

Maria "Wisconsin" Jones

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Dear Maria "Wisconsin" Jones,

Aw! Cute! Hum, I'm not the expert on love (like France) but you could send Illinois…something that they like. Or take them out on a friendly outing...something romantic but not too obvious. Like a movie and descretly put your arm around them. Or a walk to the park...uhm...Or…subtly tell them how you feel?

Sincerely,

Matthew Williams.