The emergency stairs was a perfect spot
not often used, almost forgotten
had glass windows that allowed sunlight to enter
quiet and peaceful
untouched.
It was a perfect spot for him
when he needed to re-arrange his thoughts
or needed inspiration
or just needed a moment to be alone
to be quiet and safe.
So he went there again today
father would be home early today, as he always did every Friday
so why did he have to go home?
He had to
but not now.
His sketchbook was there
his music player with its headset plugged in was there
all that he needed were there
there was no reason to go home
not now anyway.
The emergency stairs was warm,
bathed in the orange-golden afternoon sunlight
quiet
it calmed him.
Sketchbook on his knees,
pencil on his hand
music in his ears
and he began.
Scenery and faces
rough lines and soft lines
tears and smiles
loneliness and tranquility
fear and anger
brothers and sisters
home.
Black and white, no colors
but it made him feel fulfilled
at least at this moment.
Then he looked up and saw
emerald
green like his leaves, green like Feliciano's courtyard
no, not green
emerald was different
beautiful in its own way
it was the senior from the other day
what was his name again,
Antonio.
The one with that perverted French
the perverted frog that his friend had come to like
that seemed to had come to like his friend
and flooded him with all those ugly feelings again.
Did the senior just talked to him? Or was it a distortion his headset created?
"Romano, right? It's been a while!"
And he was struck
painful and hopeful at the same time
he remembered my name
he remembered me
and his chest swelled with emotions
but then came the realization
don't hope
don't you ever dare to hope
Maybe he remembered him today
emerald, friendly and glinting
full of life and cheerful
blue and purple and red
but he might not tomorrow.
Don't hope,
don't you ever dare to hope.
And he was glad when he was finally left alone again
peaceful,
quiet,
painful.
Realization was painful.
Hope was even more.
Don't hope,
don't you ever dare to hope
because you have no right for it.
The emergency stairs is fully based on the one that my college has. I spent my time once there, and even though inspiration didn't really come, but I really like the atmosphere there (and I did it on 5 in the afternoon, so the sunlight was indeed golden-orange).
