The emergency stairs was a perfect spot

not often used, almost forgotten

had glass windows that allowed sunlight to enter

quiet and peaceful

untouched.

It was a perfect spot for him

when he needed to re-arrange his thoughts

or needed inspiration

or just needed a moment to be alone

to be quiet and safe.

So he went there again today

father would be home early today, as he always did every Friday

so why did he have to go home?

He had to

but not now.

His sketchbook was there

his music player with its headset plugged in was there

all that he needed were there

there was no reason to go home

not now anyway.

The emergency stairs was warm,

bathed in the orange-golden afternoon sunlight

quiet

it calmed him.

Sketchbook on his knees,

pencil on his hand

music in his ears

and he began.

Scenery and faces

rough lines and soft lines

tears and smiles

loneliness and tranquility

fear and anger

brothers and sisters

home.

Black and white, no colors

but it made him feel fulfilled

at least at this moment.

Then he looked up and saw

emerald

green like his leaves, green like Feliciano's courtyard

no, not green

emerald was different

beautiful in its own way

it was the senior from the other day

what was his name again,

Antonio.

The one with that perverted French

the perverted frog that his friend had come to like

that seemed to had come to like his friend

and flooded him with all those ugly feelings again.

Did the senior just talked to him? Or was it a distortion his headset created?

"Romano, right? It's been a while!"

And he was struck

painful and hopeful at the same time

he remembered my name

he remembered me

and his chest swelled with emotions

but then came the realization

don't hope

don't you ever dare to hope

Maybe he remembered him today

emerald, friendly and glinting

full of life and cheerful

blue and purple and red

but he might not tomorrow.

Don't hope,

don't you ever dare to hope.

And he was glad when he was finally left alone again

peaceful,

quiet,

painful.

Realization was painful.

Hope was even more.

Don't hope,

don't you ever dare to hope

because you have no right for it.


The emergency stairs is fully based on the one that my college has. I spent my time once there, and even though inspiration didn't really come, but I really like the atmosphere there (and I did it on 5 in the afternoon, so the sunlight was indeed golden-orange).