Naruto

It hadn't surprised me when I had returned to my little room and seen that Gaara had left. I had expected that. What did surprise me, was that in the middle of my project was a little grey box. With a card.

Do not open until Oct. 10

It was written in elegant writing on the envelope. I picked it up to inspect it. It was a little weighty. I had the sudden urge to shake it, but decided against it. I had a weird feeling that he might have filled the thing with sand as a joke. But then, Gaara really didn't joke.

Not well anyway.

His brand of humor left much to be desired to say the least. I remember him giving a delighted hum at a particular gruesome scene of a horror movie he had insisted on watching when I dragged him to the theater with me. After all, if someone was going to watch a movie, you might as well do it properly right? I remember that I had made the mistake of asking him what was so amusing about it.

I regret doing that.

I really do.

Sometimes I forget what he was like when he was a kid, how different we were, no matter how much we were alike. He had mentioned that it 'had amused him that the spatter of blood did not match what would happen in reality and that such inconsistencies would be' blah blah blah.

I never asked him to see another movie again. It was just disturbing. I mean, I seen enough of that crap, seen enough death, enough blood to kind of know that, but to think that it was humorous? Not so much.

So... What would I do with this thing until then? Wait. That was my birthday.

I smiled grimly at that. Well, at least something interesting beyond the whole 'toss years out the window with Hinata' thing. Annulled. It sounded so... Final. It was, but still. Harsh. On my birthday, I would be a single man. Girl. Lady. Person. I snickered at my thoughts. Yes, I would be a single man girl lady person. Whatever the hell I was.

I carried the little box to my cot and laid down while I held it up. What was in there? Could I peek? It was a whole week away.

A week.

Who in the hell did he think I was? I didn't have that kind of patience, did he think I could actually wait that long to-

I sighed.

Yes, I imagine that he would think so. Especially after asking the exact same thing from him. For something a heck of a lot more important. I stared at the box. My birthday, huh? A present for my birthday. Even if it were a box of sand, I am sure I would love it, whatever it was. I hugged it. Gaara gave me a gift.

A gift for me.

It was the first one he had really given me. Even for my wedding, he gave himself to me. I felt my face heat up at that thought. Give himself to me? Now I was picturing him looking all cute with his perfect porcelain skin, holding out his arms and...

Well crap. I cleared my throat and worked at pushing that image from my imagination.

Yeah, that was great. Like that would ever happen, I was the one turning into a freaking girl after all. Who would have thought that I would even be remotely ok with that? I sure wouldn't have thought so, that is for sure. I still wasn't sure I was entirely ok with it, but... I didn't have much of a choice in that did I?

My thoughts came back to my baby. I smiled. My baby. It seemed so odd, so freaking weird, but I was so ridiculously excited for it. I wanted to hold it in my arms, whisper my love of it.

It. I wish I knew if the baby was a boy or girl, then I could at least use a different term, even if it was just in my head. I looked at the floor. What happened to my book anyway? I swore that I had dropped it while I was in here...

I carefully set the box down and made my way out of the room and scanned the floor. It had to have gone somewhere. Books didn't just up and walk away or anything. It wasn't anywhere though.

I had walked the path between my little room and the restroom a few times before I came to terms my special little book for the baby had simply disappeared. What the hell? What could have happened to it? I frowned as an odd thought passed through my mind. Gaara. He wouldn't have... Would he?

What purpose would he have in taking it? He never did much that didn't have an outright purpose associated with it. What reason would he have to take it? Maybe he just set it somewhere? He was kind of a neat freak. Personally, I think he just gets bored sometimes and takes to obsessively cleaning sometimes, but who knows. I know that he did it to my house once after he came to see Boruto. The only explanation he gave was 'something was out of place'. Which would be fine, but he had cleaned the entire place, as well as rearranged everything while Hinata and I slept. It took us months to figure out what he had done with everything.

All we wanted was someone to feed Boruto if he woke up in the night so we could get a good nights sleep. Also something we never asked him to do again.

Freak. He was so dang weird. I wonder what actually living with him full time would be like. I sighed as I gave up my book hunt and headed back to the children's book section. That was a thought that was recent. Like very recent. As in, as I had left Gaara completely petrified in my little room in the library to go hide in the bathroom. Marriage. That I was already excited at the prospect of marrying him, another guy, while I was still technically married to my wife. MY WIFE.

Who betrayed me, tricked me and accidentally got me stuck in this sticky situation. But... It led to this tiny miracle growing inside of me, so how could I really be that mad at her for it? If she hadn't, this wouldn't be happening. While it freaked the shit out of me, and I didn't know what in the hell I was going to do, it also excited me. More excited than I should probably be. Not only had I managed to give Gaara a moment he could remember without having a mental breakdown between us, at least I hoped he could, I would be giving him something that nobody else could give him.

A true heir. Shinki was his son, yes, but he wasn't blood, not really. He would carry on Gaara's legacy, be a great Kazekage if Gaara ever got twitchy enough to actually step down. I wondered how Gaara was as a father.

Would he even want to go through fatherhood again?

I kind of remembered him letting Kankuro do most of the parenting with the kid, now that I thought about it. The few times we really spoke about it, it had always been, Kankuro and Shinki went and did such and such, or Kankuro and Shinki trained with such and such.

Like a report.

Maybe we were more alike in that aspect of our lives as well. To be honest, I really had no idea what my kids were doing right now. And I was leaving them. That was great. I should get the father of the year award. Get knocked up by the leader of a foreign country and run off to start a family there and ignore the present one.

I doubted I could actually ignore them though, no matter the situation. I loved them too much. I just wasn't always the best at knowing how to show it.

What were they doing anyway? I should probably attempt to be a somewhat descent parent and actually find out. I went over to my pile of clothes and fished out my annoying black and green dress. Damn I really hated that thing. I scrunched my nose at it and then slipped into it. Hated it, hated it, hated it. How in the hell did girls even remotely get around in these? So freaking weird. After I was dressed I filled in my whisker marks and henged my hair. Immediately I felt dizzy, I stumbled some at the loss of chakra that came from using it and braced myself against the wall. Come on Naruto, you idiot, it's just a little chakra- don't be such a freaking wimp about it. I took a breath after I regained my balance and headed outside again, swallowing down the nervousness that came every time that I did. Find out about the kids, get something to eat, head back to the library. Simple.

I quickly made my way to the other side of Konoha, determined to get word of how my kids were doing. It had been three weeks after all, I did actually want to know. Was Himawari doing ok in school still? Did Boruto get a mission he had been aching to have? Was my clone being good towards them?

I frowned. Probably not. I really didn't want to know what he had been up to, not really. He was probably angry. I doubted he would have a single kind word to say about Sakura, that was for sure. After all, I left him with the memory of aborting the baby himself.

I kinda felt bad about it, but it was a necessary thing to do.

I found myself sitting outside the academy, creepily watching the students from the trees. When did I turn into such a freak? Sitting in the trees, watching children throw kunai and play on the swings and in the playground. Yeah, I was awesome. I groaned and left my perch. There had to be a better way than to stalk the school that Himawari went to in order to find out if she was ok.

I mean. Really. There had to be a way. Was there? Without the risk of getting caught?

I gave a heavy sigh and headed to the market. No. There really wasn't. Just sitting outside the school someone would eventually notice me. I couldn't go home and ask Hinata. I couldn't risk being noticed by going to someone I knew would be able to tell me.

I really didn't have a way to check up on the kids. I would just have to trust my clone and Hinata with their well being for the moment.

I went to some small eatery in the outskirts of the market. I had never went to the place, so it would be easier to not be recognized if someone looked at me just right. Though, I am sure not many would be expecting their Hokage to be crossdressing, sort of, in the first place. I was seated at a small table towards the corner and ordered a small sandwich. Something light. My stomach had been behaving lately, but the sheer memory of my constant trips to see my porcelain buddy in the bathroom was enough to keep my diet a bit cleaner for now. I didn't want to start that back up again.

I watched the television in front of me, it was angled on the wall towards the restaurant and it was silent but for subtitles. I squinted my eyes to read it.

Can you believe that the Hokage has postponed his interview again? That is the fourth time this month! Do you think that the people of Konoha should be worried?

I want to hold my judgement. I know it is uncharacteristic for us not to see his clones doing things all the time, but there is likely a reason for this as well. If he was unable to protect us, I doubt they would allow him to stay in office without using emergency measures.

I looked back down and studied the wood pattern on the table. So, he postponed another interview. This wasn't good. I had put them off for a while before Sakura told me about.. then...

Yeah, it just wasn't good to be so absent in a place like this. It wasn't a normally run country. Any weakness would be exploited, invasions could be planned, attacks formulated.

One more month. This could last one more month, couldn't it? I could recommend a new Hokage for training, then Kakashi or Grandma Tsunade could issue a state of emergency until a new one was appointed.

Just a month. Nothing would happen until then, would it? I sincerely hoped not.

"Can you believe that the Hokage still hasn't shown his face? It has been months, I mean, really? What kind of person does that? He sick or something?" Some girl's voice sounded from behind me, probably in reaction to the news.

I froze as I eavesdropped on the conversation behind me. There was a 'shhhh' sound then a sigh. "Come on, you are thinking it too. What if he is sick or something, do they have some kind of, you know, backup plan?"

"I am sure the other Hokages could-" Second voice, female.

"You know what I mean." A pause, then a whisper, "Not about the Hokage of the village. The other thing. What if it escapes? If he is weak, could it escape? What would we do?"

Silence.

They were talking about... They were afraid of... My heart raced as they continued to speak, my stomach rose to my throat.

"I can't believe they don't have some kind of 'insurance'. The Hokage is powerful, yeah, but they would never allow that thing out again. Probably planted some kind of explosive in him just to be safe or something." Third female, also whispered.

Another 'Shhhhh!'

Kurama. They were still afraid of me. Of him. Of us. After everything, nothing actually changed. I felt a little sick. Even though they were whispers, spoken without the knowledge that I would hear it myself, they spoke truth. Wouldn't they just freak out if they knew the person they were talking about was sitting right next to them and heard every word? Though.. If they felt that way, how many more did? Secretly, behind my back, how many of the people I worked so tirelessly for, protected with every ounce of my being, were secretly and deathly afraid of me?

Probably more than I wanted to know about.

I stood from my table and left silently, refusing to look up from the floor. I really wasn't hungry anymore. I felt wetness on my cheeks as I headed back to the library. I needed to get inside.

I needed to get away from them. Everyone.

I needed to...

I buried my face in my hands. Everything I knew was a lie.

Everything.

Maybe leaving this place wasn't so bad after all.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

I couldn't move. The pain. It was back. And my medicine was on the other side of the room. I waited too long. I had tried to stretch it, tried to make it last. I only had...

And now I was stuck in bed with no way to move.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

I groaned. What in the hell was I going to do? Even at the slight attempt at sitting up, it felt like my body would disintegrate on me. It reminded me how much my body was working at changing, how much pain that sedative actually took away. It was worse. The pain, it was worse than before.

I had been crying, my cheeks felt cool where they had streamed down my face. It wasn't an intentional thing, but damn.

I fucking hurt. Everywhere. What had I been thinking? I can't do this.

I can't move.

I too a breath. No, I had to. I had to do this. For my baby I had to do this. I needed to. If only I had left my medicine closer to my cot, and not on the other side of the god damned, fucking horrible, annoying assed room.

I yelled as I brought my hand up, primal. I was determined. This baby deserved every bit of strength I had in my body. I fought for breath once my hand reached my chest. Step one, complete.

I knew what I needed to do.

I needed him again. I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. I couldn't risk this happening again, after I had the medicine in me. I would have no guarantees that I would even have enough chakra at that point to conjure a clone, and if the pain were worse...

I really would be stuck. I wondered briefly if I would die, if that were to happen.

No, I couldn't die. Not for a few more months. I had to live. If I died, this little miracle would die with me.

I would not allow that.

I whimpered as I gathered my chakra in my hands. Come on, I can do this. It is just a few hand signs, nothing major. I allowed myself to cry out, moan in pain as I moved them, thankful that one of my arms was technically a prosthetic and didn't hurt too badly. But hell, my other hand...

I blacked out as I faintly heard the 'pompf' that signaled my efforts were not in vain.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

I woke up to a very worried looking Neji standing over me. "Hyy" Damn it. I cringed as main shot through my throat at the attempt to speak. He didn't know about my medicine, or why I had wanted him here. Shit.

"Damn it Naruto, what in the hell is going on? What happened?"

I took a breath through my nose. Speak. I needed to speak. "Medicine. Corner." Please find it. I whimpered at the pain that brought on and I closed my eyes, focusing on anything but what my body felt. My breath was shaky, my body on fire.

Medicine. Soon, it would be over and I would have my medicine.

A sharp pain erupted on my arm and I gave a whimper that ended in a groan.

Oh damn.

Damn that was nice.

From where the pain started, a tingling followed, ebbing outwards from the point of contact, numbing the fire, and I settled into the relief. He found it, thank goodness. It took a little while to do it's job and I just laid there, panting from what had happened. How stupid of me.

"Answers, Naruto. What just happened? I don't recall you mentioning anything about the possibility of being beaten. Who did this to you?"

Beaten? "I'm fine, Neji, honest. All part of what is going on. Sakura mentioned something about my body rearranging itself or something, I think."

"You are covered in bruises, what else was I supposed to think?"

"Bruises?" I felt tired. It had been two days since Gaara had left here. Two days of sitting in my room as my pain grew. I hadn't worked on my carving for at least a day. I hadn't left the library since I had been to the market and overheard them talking about me.

I hadn't eaten anything in three.

I knew I couldn't last another month on my own, not like this. I was getting too weak. I stared at the ceiling, Neji falling into a silence beside me. What was I going to do? I couldn't rely on him to nurse me. I had used most of his dispensable chakra when we had made the clone. He maybe had a few henges left in him before his chakra was depleted to the point he wouldn't even be able to be summoned until I shoved more in his direction. Which I couldn't, because I barely had enough for myself.

So what then? That moron Gaaruto would be a waste of time, he was uncontrollable. No, definitely not an option. He would probably just try to molest me anyway. Bastard.

No, I needed someone else, someone solid. Who would help me no questions asked, that I could trust with not telling anyone my secret.

This is what I needed to know. How would I pull that off, and with who? "I need help."

"Isn't that why you called me here? Your voice of reason? If it wasn't for the fact that I feel somewhat honored that you think that of me, I would be quite offended about you using me so much these past few days."

"Stop being such a girl about it, Neji."

He gave a half laugh. "If I recall correctly, it is you who are turning into a girl, while I thankfully will remain as I am. A man, the way I was intended to be. That insult of yours, won't be so much of an insult once your transformation is complete, now will it?"

"Shut it."

"Let me guess, you need help but don't know how to get it? Am I correct in my assumption, Naruto?"

I gave a humph and I felt the cot shift under his weight as he sat down next to me. "Hmm, yes, that is indeed an excellent curiosity, isn't it?" He brought his hand to my forehead and moved my hair from there. "You should sleep while I ponder this situation. It will take a great deal of finesse, cunning. You will need to reveal your secret for it to work, but I need to safeguard it."

I was tired. I closed my eyes. If anyone could figure out how to get through this unscathed, it was Neji. Memory or not, he was still, truly, a genious.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Neji gently shook me awake. "I know what to do."

His words made me wake fully. He did? "Tell me."

"You will not like it, but I know who we can turn to. First however, I will address the issue of keeping your secret. A seal. You have gotten descent at them, all we have to do is figure out how to manipulate a memory seal into what we want. A temporary one. Do you follow my logic in this?"

"I... Not really." I frowned at him. How could a memory seal help my situation?"

He sighed. "I am amazed they let you be Hokage. Honestly." He paused, "We would create a memory seal that only activates if your secret is told to anyone who does not also carry the seal. I will have to be the one to activate it, I still somehow have more chakra than you do at the moment, but it will be the last thing I can do without confining myself back inside your head. After that, you will be stuck with Gaaruto for any chakra needs, and that move would be risky. I think I will still have enough to at least be a body for physical actions at least, so you should not need to call him if you need something as simple as getting your medicine again. Though, that need should be dissipated by recruiting a person to help you."

Oh. "I get it now. A safe way to tell my secret. So... You said I wouldn't like it. Who do you want me to confide in?"

He looked away from me. "I went over the possibilities of who I know in your group of friends that would be willing to help, and I couldn't come to a positive conclusion to any of them. Sakura obviously is out of question, considering she is the main reason this secret must be kept for now. Shikamaru is your advisor and sworn by duty to Konoha, it would not be good to expect such a secret from him. Lee is hardly an option, he is too energetic and would likely let it slip and lose his memory of it all. It would make this all in vain. Every person I thought of would have a downside, but one. It may seem an odd choice, but she would have an added incentive, once all the information is revealed."

I stared at him. "She? Who are you talking about?"

"Someone who would have a great interest in protecting not only you, but your child."

"I don't..."

"Someone who would care the most about protecting a child of Gaara's. His sister. Temari."

Temari? "Are you freaking crazy? She is way overprotective of him! She knows him well enough that she will naturally figure out I practically raped the guy!"

"And she would wait to kill you until that child is born."

I stared at him. He...

He was right.

She would have a vested interest. She might even be able to help me around the laws of Suna that demand marriage for nobles who have children outside of wedlock. I swallowed. Yes. That might actually work. "How do we do it then, the seal?"

"I think that if we combine a memory sealing tactic, along with a temporary block set for a specific moment with a spoken trigger that pertains to anything to do with the release of your secret we might be able to get it to work. We don't have much time to get it right, and only one shot at doing it correctly. Anything goes wrong, we could accidentally wipe her memory, or make it so she can't even talk to her own brother. We must tread carefully."

I nodded. "Yeah. Let's do this. For the baby, we have to do this."

His lips went thin, then he smiled. "Yes, for this child, we must."

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On the second day of deliberation, we finalized the seal's design. An Uzumaki original. It was amazing. Beautiful.

I hoped it worked.

Two more days before my medicine would start wearing off again. Only two more doses left. This was going to be hell. I only went over the dosage schedule by two days before. There was no way that it was going to last me a full month. All I could hope for was for Temari be ok with this and she get me more somehow. I couldn't exactly ask Grandma Tsunade for more. She would be on to me. Not to mention, I was covered in growing bruises all over my body and I was looking more and more like a damned girl. My muscles were less defined, I was noticeably shorter than I had been, and well, I had boobs. Small ones, but they were definitely boobs. Very sore, very bruised, but even wearing my old outfit I could see them in the mirror. If they didn't hurt so damn much, I would totally feel myself up to see how they felt.

Not to mention, I kind of was hoping they really wouldn't get a whole lot bigger. They freaking hurt, damn it. It wasn't natural. Then again, none of this was natural. Not even slightly.

"You will have to get me sunglasses and some clothes. I think you have enough money for that left. I don't dare attempt a henge with the amount of chakra I will need to perform the seal. I am technically dead, so the only thing people will notice right away would be my eyes. We only need to make it to the Nara compound. Then, we look for Temari."

I gave a nod and slipped out of the library, leaving Neji to await my return. Nervous. Always nervous when I went outside, afraid someone would see through my hair and makeup. To the store. Pick up sunglasses that an Aburame would wear because I think out of all the years I have known him, I have only seen Shino's eyes once, and some clothes that would have fit me in my early twenties. Because in spite of his looks, Neji was still a clone of mine. They weren't the best, but it would work. He couldn't just go walking around in the Hyuuga traditional garb, now could he? With his dark hair, it would still be pretty obvious he was a Hyuuga, glasses or not. He would just look like a Hyuuga, wearing glasses.

So, I got him some basic street wear. Jeans, a basic shirt in blue because Hinata always looked good in blue and he was kind of a male version of her, and some hair ties. His hair was also a dead giveaway. Satisfied with my choices I carefully made my way back to the library. I found him there and he silently changed into what I had brought him. "If this wasn't necessary for our purposes, I would kill you for this."

"Do you think you ever wore regular clothes, Neji, when you were alive?"

He frowned at me. "I am not sure. You never seen me beyond my usual ninja uniforms. Perhaps I did."

I gave a hum. "We should get going. I am not sure how long I can keep this henge up. I am starting to get pretty damned tired again."

He nodded and we headed out. It took us a while to get to the compound, longer to sneak in. I couldn't risk explaining myself to anyone who might have spotted us. Not to mention, they might have recognized Neji, who still looked very much like himself in spite of the glasses and his hair up in a ponytail. In a way, he sort of looked ridiculous, because it was hard to imagine the real Neji ever wearing such an ensemble. We carefully made our way to Shikamaru's place, careful not to be seen.

It was easy. Almost too easy.

"They are not at home." A woman's voice sounded from behind me. One I didn't recognize. I looked over my shoulder, petrified of what was about to happen. She would freak out, call for backup or just outright attack us. Neither of us had the chakra to defend ourselves, and I didn't have enough strength or energy to even attempt basic taijutsu.

I was doomed. Everything was going wrong.

The woman was... oddly beautiful actually. Dark hair, pale skin. Sort of reminded me of Hinata some. She stood with her hands folded in front of her and looked more curious than alarmed. "Your eyes are familiar. Someone once told me that you could see past a disguise if you looked into their eyes."

I froze. This woman, who I had never seen... How could see through my disguise? "I'm not..."

"You are the Hokage. Why are you sneaking around here?"

Bold. Neji stood in front of me. "Have you been following us? I demand to know."

Her eyes moved between us then she smiled. "You have a secret. Are you looking for Shikamaru? Temari? They are not at home. You can wait for them at my place, if you desire. Your eyes, I know them. I have a secret of my own, so you should not worry about me. Please, come have some tea. My husband is away at work for now, and my son is playing in his sandbox."

I exchanged a look with Neji. She knew. We could do nothing about it. So...

Why not? Silently we followed, wondering who this woman was, and how she so easily seen through my disguise.

Author's Note:

*wheeze* A chapter in less than a day for your reading pleasure. Please review! It always inspires my writing insanity. :D