Chapter 28 — COMING TO JESUS
"Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding." (Sri Chinmoy)
Slim shifted in his chair, favoring Jess with a black look and a low growl. "What did you mean by 'we'?"
Jess jerked his head toward Kim. "Him an' me. With both of us gone wouldn't be no cause for folks comin' 'round here shootin' up the place an' maybe hurtin' someone."
Slim sought to control his shock but it was evident in his expression as his eyes swept the table and lit on Jonesy. "You know anything about this?"
"No. But I had a feelin' it was comin'."
"Sally?"
"Ditto."
Lingering momentarily on Kim, Slim's hard gaze skipped to Jess, who was looking sicker by the minute. Enough compassion edged around his anger to enable him to moderate his tone.
"Didn't it occur to you to talk this over with me first? That I might not want you to leave... for a lot of reasons?"
"That's what Kim said. We talked about it some... an' I said I'd think on it."
"Oh... so you two've been planning this for a while?" Not so moderate this time.
Before Jess could answer, Jonesy interrupted with another volley. "Here's somethin' I'll bet you ain't thought through, son. If you leave, Andy's liable to light out after you. He was ready to do it before... an' now you've learned him how to shoot, he thinks he's man enough for life on the drift. Want that on your conscience?"
"I wouldn't let 'im!" Jess mumbled.
"You couldn't stop 'im," Jonesy stated flatly. "He's a fourteen-year-old boy what's been kept on a checkrein his whole life so far. You represent freedom... an' adventure. He'd throw away everythin' to follow you. You think you can protect him an' yourself, too?"
Slim turned to Kim. "Anything you'd like to add? Were you planning on giving notice... or just sneaking off in the night?"
Sally'd been monitoring Kim out of the corner of her eye, afraid he'd be unable to cope with the force of nature that was Slim Sherman on a tear. But the man now facing Slim at the table wasn't the defeated individual she'd earlier left in the barn. From some hidden reserve of resiliency he'd summoned the will to contest the allegations being hurled his way.
"It's true we discussed the pros and cons of staying or leaving. Jess has a valid point. Both of us've brought trouble into your house. If we go, the danger goes. That's where the similarity ends. His relationship to you, his situation, is entirely different from mine. I have a place in the world where I'm supposed to be... and this isn't it. Jess' place is here. Evidently everyone else in this room knows this and takes it for granted... except Jess."
Slim, Jonesy and Sally all began babbling at once. Kim held up a hand to silence them. "I'm not done." The voices trickled off.
"Speaking for myself, I'm tired of running. If given a choice—and it is Slim's choice, after all—I'd prefer to stay and do what I promised to do... but there's factors to consider aside from being killed or captured."
"What other factors?" Slim queried.
"My family has a team of attorneys working on exculpatory evidence. If the court declares justifiable homicide I'll be free to return home."
"So you might leave before you're done with Andy?"
"Doubt it. Even if that happens it might take weeks for that information to be disseminated... in the meantime..."
"Yeah... you're right about that. It's the same with those warrants on Jess," Slim said. "Though he's been exonerated of all charges, there's too many bounty hunters at large who don't know that..."
"Pessimist!" Sally snorted.
"Realist!" Slim countered, repeating "What other factors?"
"I could just give myself up and be done with it," Kim said.
"That's not going to happen. I made a promise, too, and..."
Everyone jumped as the side door opened and a shadowy figure stepped in, backlit by the pastel hues of twilight.
"Why're y'all sittin' here in the dark?" Andy asked.
In the heat of discussion no one had noticed the encroaching darkness. The only source of light was the oil lamp suspended directly over the parlor table. Too, the room had grown chill.
"I'll take care of this," Sally said, scraping back her chair. "But we're not done with this powwow. Andy... you go wash up."
"Again? Are we ever gonna get any supper?"
Jonesy got up then. "That's my cue." He gave each of the retired combatants a pointed look. "You two keep on talkin' this out... from a distance. Kim, you see to it they don't neither of 'em try to get at t'other."
"What do you expect me to do about it if they do?"
"Dunno," Jonesy shook his head. "Shoot 'em, maybe?"
While Sally and Jonesy busied themselves lighting lamps and rekindling fires in the cookstove and fireplace, Slim and Jess exchanged sullen expressions. Feeling like a cross between a referee and a master of ceremony, Kim attempted to initiate a dialogue between the two.
"It's not unheard of for friends to fight," he ventured. "Usually it's over some dumb misunderstanding that could easily be cleared up by honest conversation."
"We're done talking about it," Slim stated flatly.
"You big oaf!" Sally called from over by the fireplace where she was hunkered down feeding sticks to the fire. "You haven't even begun to talk! All you've done so far is bellow and paw the ground like a bull elk in rut."
"Says the lady what chewed me a new one..." Jess muttered under his breath.
"I heard that!"
"Look... Slim... let's take this one issue at a time." Kim plowed ahead, wanting to deter them from flying off on a tangent. "What's number one on your list of beefs with Jess?"
"Andy almost got shot... coulda been killed..."
"That's not what happened." Andy emerged from the hallway, tucking in his shirt. "The first man was already dead. I thought it was Opie got him but it wasn't. It was Kim. Then the second man shot Jess. I saw him turn an' walk away toward his horse. He wasn't comin' into the barn. I thought you ain't gettin' away with killin' Jess! That's when I went out there and shot him. It was easy. There wasn't anyone shootin' at me."
Andy concluded his nonchalant speech by strolling into the kitchen. "Anything I can help you with, Jonesy?"
A gamut of emotions galloped across Slim's face as he tracked his little brother's progress around the table. Pride—that the boy had the intestinal fortitude to face danger in defense of his friends. Fear—for what might have happened. Sorrow—for the innocence that had been shattered and a burden of conscience imposed far too early in a young man's life. In his heart, Slim acknowledged that Jess wasn't responsible for any of this. As for Andy's shooting skills... well, Slim himself had taught him how to use a rifle and a shotgun. Jess had merely followed up with the finer points of handgun usage.
"I may have made a mistake," Slim finally admitted, the choler beginning to leach from his face.
On her knees retrieving towels from the floor, Sally started and banged her head on the underside of the table. This was a rare admission for Slim Sherman... that he might've got the wrong end of the stick.
Above the table Jess was knitting his eyebrows as if he, too, had just received a revelation he didn't quite understand. Did this mean he was off the hook for Andy's actions?
Kim was quick to capitalize on this tiny victory. "Moving on... what's the next priority... Jess' intent to leave? You seem awfully upset about that..." He regretted seeing the hostility return to Slim's eyes... but dammit... this couldn't be resolved until brought out in the open.
Andy was grinding coffee beans at the work counter, his back to the others. At his muffled gasp, Jonesy spun around. "Grab a bucket... we need more water," he stated loudly.
"What? Now?" The cistern was still almost full.
"Don't bother with a coat... we ain't gonna be out there that long."
To make his case, Jonesy had only the minutes it would take to fill two buckets. "I know what you're feelin' about maybe losin' Jess again... but... an' it's a big but... today you crossed a line an' left your blubberin' days behind. Maybe you ain't got the years, but you're grown up enough to want some respect. That means you got to act grown up. With me so far?"
Andy nodded his assent.
"I want you to be thinkin' about what you're gonna say when you go back in there an' it comes your turn. Be strong an' speak up for yourself... but be respectful. Jess leavin' ain't a done deal… he ain't made up his mind. That's part a what this meetin's all about. Everythin' depends on gettin' 'em to talk to each other like big boys 'stead a tusslin' like little boys on the playground."
Andy grinned, finally. Just a little one but enough to indicate he'd absorbed Jonesy's advice. "Can we go in now?"
In the meantime, Slim had locked eyes with Jess. "I'm not asking you to leave before you're well. I don't want you to leave at all. But understand this, Jess—if you go, it's for good this time. No coming back."
"What you ain't gettin' is..."
"You can't do this to Andy again. Or me. I can't bear his grief..."
Unable to reply, Jess was torn between alarm at Slim's anger... and a soul-searing sadness at the prospect of tearing himself away from the people he called family and the place he called home.
"Slim..." Sally murmured, "this isn't his main concern... you..."
"Stay out of it, Sally. I'm not gonna beg the man to stay if he doesn't want to."
"There's something you should know before..."
"Don't want to hear it from you. If Jess has something he needs to tell me, some problem with me personally, than he oughta be man enough to say it to my face..."
"That ain't fair, Slim!" Jess yelled, stung. "You're the one..."
"Do what you like. I'm done." Slim made to stand up and found he couldn't. Dumping her armload of soiled towels and clothing, Sally had sidled around behind and had him clamped by both shoulders. Strong hands that easily controlled a skittish draft horse's foot had no trouble keeping a six-foot two-inch man in his chair.
Returning to the kitchen, Jonesy nudged Andy toward the table, announcing "Andy has some things he'd like to say... and it's his turn." His tone was mild but there was steel in it. "I'm sure he has questions, too. You'd better have the right answers. Andy... you sit over there next to Kim."
Andy sat up straight with his hands folded on the table, glancing first at Jonesy and then at Sally for reassurance.
"Well... first off..." he began uncertainly. "I wish you wouldn't talk about me like I'm not even in the room. I own half this ranch even if I'm just a kid. I might be too young to make decisions but I oughta at least get to hear the reasons for whatever you decide. How can I learn anything if you won't ever tell me anything important?"
Sally gave Slim's left shoulder—the uninjured one—a prod. "This is when you get to make a comment. Just one."
"I guess you're right..." A painful squeeze indicated that was an unsatisfactory reply. "You are right. You shouldn't be excluded," he quickly amended. A little happy pat this time. Right answer.
"The second thing is... when we talked in the barn a while back, you promised you were gonna stop being so mean to Jess. Now you've gone and beat him up. For what? Nobody knows what you've been mad about before today. How can we make you not mad if you won't tell us why?"
"I'd sure as heck like to hear the answer to that one," Jess said.
"Pipe down, Harper. Your turn's coming," Jonesy ordered, back at his post.
Slim mumbled something inaudible. A vice-like grip pinched him.
"Truth or dare, Sherman," Sally challenged. "What's really eating you? Speak up or forfeit your right to be a putz."
Slim shook his head, remaining stubbornly mute.
"I'm sorry… we can't quite hear you," Sally said, increasing the pressure. "You were saying…?"
Slim's face had taken on a rosy hue as he stared down at the table top, mumbling. "It's embarrassing."
All ears perked up at that... and all eyes were riveted on him in disbelief. Even Jonesy had to leave his post for a gander. "You... embarrassed? That's one for the books!"
"Matt... what have you done?" Sally's voice was soft... almost a caress. Slim was the most circumspect person she knew... he never did anything to be embarrassed about.
"Nothing. It's nothing I've done. It's you..." At that he lifted his head and looked straight at Jess. "And him."
The silence that followed was so profound a feather hitting the floor would've reverberated like a tree toppling in the forest.
His mouth having fallen open in utter incredulity, Jess blinked rapidly and actually twisted around in case some unknown male had suddenly materialized behind him. His eyebrows resembled a pair of woolly bear caterpillars vying for supremacy on his forehead. "Me?" he squeaked, pointing a finger at his own chest. "...and her?"
"Yeah..." Slim confirmed heavily. "You think I don't know what's been going on here the past couple of weeks?"
Sally had let go of Slim and subsided into the empty chair next to him, elbow on the table top and hand across her eyes. "Oh. My. God."
Kim studiously inspected his fingernails as if in urgent need of a manicure. Jonesy immediately became engrossed in something steaming on the stove. Andy's head swung like a pendulum from Sally to Jess and back again.
"Miss Sally... and Jess?" he blurted out.
She waved her free hand around while producing odd snorting noises behind the other one. It took Andy a while to catch on that her convulsive movements were suppressed laughter. Presently she withdrew a bandanna from a bib pocket and used it to dry her eyes and honk her nose.
"Oh, Matt! Seriously? You mean to say all this time you thought...?"
"I don't see what's so funny about my best friend carrying on with my..."
"Careful!" Sally cautioned quickly.
"My... uh... other friend... behind my back and under my nose." Slim spoke with bruised dignity, not realizing the physical impossibility of his spatial prepositions. "I've seen you with your hands all over each other!"
Sally scoffed. "That's a blatant exaggeration. The only application of hands has been on my part... that is, only my hands have done the applying... as a medical necessity... and they sure as hell haven't gone anywhere they didn't need to. I can assure you his hands haven't gone anywhere."
"Not his hands I was worried about. You sure were pushing me to go to Cheyenne for a few days."
"I sure was," she agreed. "We all needed a break from your cranky ass."
"Obviously you just wanted some privacy to..."
Sally rolled her eyes dramatically. "And I'm telling you... there is nothing going on between me and Harper. You're tilting at windmills."
Being ten kinds of confused at his end of the table, Jess wasn't seeing the humor, either. How in the foggy blue morning had Slim got the idea he was messing with Sally? His head buzzed with contradictory evidence... first and foremost being how everyone knew he and the woman hadn't got along until recently. Sure, he'd come to know and like her as a person... and, sure, he'd arrived—albeit lately—at an appreciation of her womanly qualities. That didn't mean he was even remotely attracted to her in any romantic sense. Well, maybe just a tad. Admittedly there were a couple of times when her hands on him had given rise, so to speak, to natural involuntary responses for which no man could be held accountable. Think, think, think!
Jess was quite capable of logical thought progression when he applied himself. Okay... so he hadn't known Sally was Slim's woman... not until Kim had told him so. Which didn't necessarily make it true. But if it were—and he'd never witnessed any display of affection between them either before or after that assertion—then it would follow he also wouldn't have noticed a decline in that affection. Okay... say she was diddling someone else... who might that someone else be? For weeks and weeks she'd been here more than she'd been elsewhere... so it had to be someone here. On the ranch. Not himself, not the two old cowboys or the two before them, not the two coach drivers who'd stayed for a spell because they were long gone, not Jonesy or Andy... which left only one warm body and Jess was looking at him.
Of course. Jess'd known at the time who was in the adjacent bedroom. He and Carrie'd been making enough noise of their own but not so much they couldn't hear similar sounds coming from the next room. For all he knew that mightn't have been the first or only time Sally and Kim'd indulged in a carnal romp—not that that was any of his business. Except that Slim's accusing him of being the perpetrator did sort of make it his business. And for the life of him he just couldn't picture those two together...
Kim had left off beavering a thumbnail and was watching back with a vaguely panicked expression. Turning his head slightly Jess found Sally apparently trying to telecommunicate with him, with just the tiniest negative nod imploring him not to tattle.
Oblivious to the unspoken pleas for nondisclosure flitting about the table, Slim was continuing his tirade. He was on the brink of ordering Andy to leave the room when he remembered he'd just agreed to not exclude him.
"And what possessed you to bring a… that kind of woman into our home, Sally?" Slim was demanding, pointing a finger at Kim. "I have a reputation to maintain... and he's well enough to ride into town if he needs to."
Sally realized right away Slim must've overheard her and Marilyn's conversation earlier. Her heart sank. Getting out of this wasn't going to be easy.
"Carolina Compton is no longer associated with that business," she said primly. "She's embarked on a respectable career as a seamstress and is doing very well at it."
Slim muttered something about sows' ears and silk purses.
"Miss Compton's a dear friend of Jess' who came out here to visit him and ended up staying the night as it was too late to drive back to town."
At this juncture wild horses couldn't have dislodged Andrew Sherman from his seat at the Table of Epiphanies. And... he had an answer to his question regarding the provenance of an item currently residing in a pants pocket.
"I suppose you were right here in the house playing chaperone?"
"Why, of course."
"I wasn't asleep when Missus Bartlett and you were talking in the kitchen."
"I know."
"I heard what she said."
"I know that, too."
"I know what I heard."
"And did you hear me tell her she was mistaken? That what she assumed happened was not in fact the case?"
"Well... not exactly."
"Then you'll have to take my word for it. Jess Harper and I are not lovers. Never have been. Aren't now. Aren't likely to be in future."
"Then why won't you...?"
"Not here and not now, Matt. That's a discussion for another time. Privately."
Andy spoke up. "Can I say something?"
"You have the floor."
"Actually, I wanna show you something." Delving in his pocket, Andy laid an ivory whalebone corset busk on the table.
"You been up in the attic again? I've told you to leave Ma's stuff alone."
"No, I haven't been in the attic, Slim," the boy retorted with a smug grin. "Found this on the floor under your bed. That proves something..."
"Er... what?"
"Proves some lady took her clothes off in your room... but it wasn't Miss Sally. She don't... she doesn't wear a corset, ever."
Slim turned red as a beet while Sally shoved three knuckles in her mouth to keep from cracking up. Jess was a peculiar shade of green and Kim buried his face in folded arms. Jonesy was holding a tea towel up to his face.
"How do you... how would you..." Slim croaked, completely mortified.
"Oh... Jess showed me a while back how to tell when ladies are wearing corsets and when they ain't... aren't. Don't you know how to tell?"
Sally finally got control of herself. "Thank you, Andy... you couldn't have timed that better if you'd tried. Have you anything to add?"
"I just want things to go back to the way they were, with Slim an' Jess bein' friends again an' lookin' out for each other an' not fightin'. I don't want Jess goin' away. I don't want Kim goin' away, either, unless he's just gotta, 'cause he's a good teacher."
"Anything else?" Sally made her voice low and encouraging.
"Yeah. About this morning... about shootin' that man. I'd kinda like to have another private talk with Slim an' Jess about it... no offense to you or Jonesy or Kim. But after we eat... I'm starvin'!"
"I think that can be arranged," Sally agreed. "How about you help me clear off the table and mop the floor right quick. Kim... perhaps you could help Jonesy with supper?"
Slim looked deflated, as if the air had leaked out of his balloon... but he nodded.
Having regained his composure, Kim stood up to comply. "Jess... look, I believe Slim's capable of mounting a defense against any aggression as long as we're all behind him one hundred percent. Especially you. You're his chief advisor. He depends on your expertise to keep one step ahead of the bad guys."
"Thanks, but I believe I can speak for myself," Slim said. "I know I haven't exactly been square with you, Jess, and I apologize. I let jealousy get the better of me."
Jess'd tried to ignore the pain but it was beginning to cloud his thought processes and he was starting to feel shaky. He recognized that he was at a crossroad. He could rat on Sally and Kim and maybe get Kim kicked out into the cold... but that might wreck Andy's prospects of getting into that fancy school... or destroy Slim's and Sally's relationship, whether it was just friends or something more. He could sit up there on his high horse and let himself be eaten up with injured pride at Slim's lack of trust. Or he could just accept Slim's apology with good grace and no fuss. There was just one thing he wanted to know for sure...
"You want I should stay... or go?"
Slim looked him square on with a lopsided grin. "Stay. Warts and all, you're part of this family now and that'll never change."
That's the last thing Jess heard before he blacked out.
