A/N: Done with finals! I should be better at managing my writing time now.

Standard disclaimers apply.


18: Underneath

Okay, now she has a hangover.

"Fuck," she groans out loud, hiding her face into her pillow. They stayed out until half past four until calling a car; she's pretty sure she made out with Sozo some more in her room, but then he left to go to the bathroom or something and she must've passed out.

Awesome.

She gets out of bed to take a shower, finding herself humming along to –

Shit.

Journey.

She grimaces as she washes her hair. Is this what happens when you actually kind of like a boy? If so, someone please slip some arsenic in her next cocktail.

"Y'have a nice voice."

She jumps in her vanity chair in surprise. "Sozo?"

He groans and she can see him from her mirror as he slowly gets to his feet from the other side of her bed. "You've been here the entire time?" she demands, annoyed that she somehow didn't see him on the floor.

"Yeah…I thought the carpet looked comfortable. It really wasn't," he answers, grimacing with his hands to his eyes. "Fuck, I'm so hungover."

"Join the club," she mutters, picking up a comb to slide through her hair.

"Seriously, though, you're…so good."

"What? Singing? Yeah, I know."

"Y'should go on tour with me 'n the guys."

She snorts. "Sorry, I don't plan on going becoming the next Stevie Nicks."

"Instead of a coke problem, you'd just have an alcohol one."

"I could definitely pick up a coke habit, though."

"You've tried it before?"

"I grew up with Manhattan's elite and have been drinking cocktails since I was twelve. What do you think?"

Sozo stares at her blankly. "You guys are –" He claps a hand to his mouth, his eyes blown wide.

"Run to the bathroom!" she screeches.

If he vomits on anything other than the inside of her toilet, she's fucking castrating him.


It's kind of sad how easy it is to sneak into her old private school with nothing more than a plaid skirt and a flirty smile. The skirt isn't even the right color.

Kaoru makes her way into the auditorium, which is empty. She's pretty sure right now is fifth period. And she should be in English right now, were she with her mother.

She steps onto the stage, her heels clicking on the wood as she makes her way to the center. Exhaling, she takes in the rows of empty chairs, trying to imagine what it would be like, singing in front of everyone.

For someone who claims to be so confident, she's never actually done much to warrant it.

"So you think you're lonely. Well my friend I'm lonely too…" she sings under her breath, wringing her hands in front of her as she strolls in a circle, her nerves causing fluttering in her stomach.

What the fuck? She's alone in the goddamned auditorium; she should be singing her fucking heart out.

"It's sad, oh, there's been mornings out on the road with you, without your charms…" she belts, throwing her arms out, ignoring the way her voice is just a tad hoarse, but it makes her sound raw.

When she finishes the last "oh," she squeezes her eyes shut and breathes, trying to push back the tears in her eyes.

She has to go back.

"Alright, come out," Kaoru calls out, bringing her hands to her face. There has to be someone hiding out in here because that's how it always works.

When she drops her hands and looks up, there's a little girl with a bob standing in the center isle, shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

Kaoru exhales before crossing her arms. "Freshman?"

The girl nods.

"Name?"

"Ts-Tsubame," the girl squeaks.

Kaoru bites her bottom lip briefly, staring off at the exit before staring down at the girl. "And let me guess…you've already informed half your contact list about this."

When Tsubame doesn't say anything, Kaoru nods and begins walk off the stage. Tsubame looks as if she's about to make a break for it, but Kaoru pins her down with a sharp glare. So when Kaoru's made her way to the center isle, standing in front of Tsubame, the girl is almost shaking.

"Just so you know, it's not worth it," Kaoru tells Tsubame. "The secret about the entire thing is that everyone is a giant fuck up. They just like to fuck everyone else up to make them feel better about themselves."

Who knows – this girl is probably meant to be a loser and will never rise above to that coveted inner circle. Maybe she'll never have a chance to see beyond the veneer of perfection that Manhattan's elite manages to pull off so well.

And it's such a shame that until yesterday, Kaoru still believed it. Those two, the "prince and princess" of Manhattan, coming over and cornering her? That wasn't part of any strategy; that was two scared teenagers trying to keep past transgressions hush-hush.

The illusion is officially shattered.


"Well, the good news is that this girl actually managed to get a ten second recording of you, so people actually believe it."

Kaoru almost chokes on her sushi. "Excuse me? How is that a good thing? I didn't want –"

"Well, too bad. Should've double-checked the auditorium before you decided to throw an impromptu Journey performance. Seriously, what the hell? Gross," Megumi interrupts with a roll of her eyes as she stabs a spicy tuna roll with her chopsticks.

Kaoru doesn't bother explaining the song choice. Besides, she'll never live that one down: oh, yeah, I kind of, sort of, really like this wannabe hipster kid from upstate and we bonded over Journey.

"The bad news is that you're invited to Komagata benefit for tomorrow and you have to go."

"Uh, why? I'm done with all this fuckery. That was basically the point of the last few days. I don't have to do shit."

"Yeah, you do. You have to go in a killer outfit as a last fuck you to society. Go out with a bang."

Kaoru shakes her head, taking a sip of her tea. "No way. And I can't find a dress for tomorrow."

"You won't have to – I bought two for this event," Megumi points out, smug.

"We're not the same size," Kaoru retorts, eyeing Megumi's larger chest. That bitch.

"That's what adjusting is for, sweetie."

"Fuck you."

"Come on. Go."

"No." Kaoru finishes her tea and brings her napkin to her mouth. "I'm staying home. And I'm packing. Possibly do some online shopping and drink wine while watching Love Story."

Yes, she's embraced her pathetic side.

"Well, if you change your mind."


"I think I love Megumi," Sano states as Kaoru fully unpacks her suitcase.

Kaoru pauses, holding a wrinkled silk cami in her hands. "You do," she whispers, throwing it in the wastebasket because it's not salvageable.

"Should I ask her out then?"

She sighs, turning around to face him. He's sprawled on her duvet and she wants to tell him to get the fuck off, but she can't bear to as he stares up at her, not unlike a lost puppy.

"I think you actually have to seriously talk about your relationship. Like it or not, you impregnated her. It's more complicated than just asking her out to dinner. Also, you slept with her last night. Further complicating it."

"We were both drunk," he mutters, as if it excuses everything.

"And I hope you used protection since you know the pill isn't quite so perfect."

"Oh trust me, we did," he grimaces. "Had to throw away my blanket 'cause I missed my garbage."

"Ugh," she whines. She does not need to hear about her brother's bodily fluids.

"What about you?" he suddenly asks.

"What about me?"

"You know, that kid. From your new school. Kenshin."

"He's nothing."

"I don't think so. I think you actually like him."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"Look, what do you want from me? Do you want to play matchmaker or something? I fucked it up, okay?" Kaoru snaps. "I toyed with him like I was properly taught. There's no way he'd put up with that shit. And he shouldn't."

Sano gets off her bed and shrugs. "Maybe that's enough," he says before walking out of her room.

What the fuck does that mean? Enough for what? Enough that she doesn't want to subject him to that kind of shit? Enough that maybe, maybe she wants to change and work on herself so she's not such a bitch? That maybe Kenshin's enough to work with her?

She slams her bedroom door shut to stop her train of thought. What a mess.


A/N: Two more chapters to go! Yay!

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MissGoalie