It was a huge mistake, letting myself forget that I was supposed to be afraid of the dark. Consuming myself with my newfound happiness, I began to let myself fall into a deep sleep, curled up in bed with Brittany. Never in my life had I fully let my guard down, but in that first week following our return from Montauk, my body betrayed me and created a false sense of security. Something woke me up in the middle of the night, and it took me a few seconds to realize that I was alone in bed and Brittany was desperately calling my name from the bathroom. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I ripped the comforter off of myself and nearly tripped over my feet sprinting the twenty feet between the two of us.

"Santana." Brittany choked out one last time before I reached the door, and I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat.

Walking in the bathroom, every one of my senses was assaulted. Brittany was sitting on the toilet, eyes squeezed shut, soaking wet and completely naked. Sobs wracked her body, and I dropped down so I was eye level with her. The shower was running, and the smell of vomit filled the room. Every muscle in my body was used to steady my shaking hands before I grabbed hers.

"Brittany." My voice cracked. "What happened? Tell me what's wrong."

"Everything hurts! I took a shower to try and stop the pain, but then I got sick. And..." Her eyes were still closed, she was close to hyperventilating. I put my hand to my chest, hoping my heartbeat was slow enough to calm hers. "I can't look. I just can't look, Santana, but I think there's blood."

"Shhh. Baby, you don't have to look. But you have to listen to me, okay? I need you to stand up."

I had to get control of myself before I started spiraling. I grabbed a towel and wrapped my breaking wife in it, and she stood up on shaky legs. When I looked down, I saw the blood, but I couldn't tell her just then. I couldn't make her panic until I knew my words wouldn't send me into tears first. Half carrying her, I sat Brittany down on the bed. Her sobs hadn't subsided, and her eyes were still closed.

"Open your eyes now." Slowly, she peeked them open and they were a color blue that I'd never seen before. Dark and stormy, clouded with so many emotions. "I have to leave you for a second. Just sit here on the bed, I'll be right back."

"Please don't leave me." Her voice was desperate, and I felt physically sick that I had to do it.

"I'm just getting my phone. Brittany, listen to me, you're both going to be okay. I promise."

I wouldn't make her a promise I couldn't keep, I would go through hell to make sure that Brittany and the baby were okay. Letting go of her, I went in the living room where she was still visible through the door, and called for an ambulance. There was blood. It was finally hitting me what was happening and I let a single tear fall while I gave the operator our address. Get. It. Together. The order was more forceful than any I'd ever given myself, and I was still finding it nearly impossible to obey.

Britt's gasps from the other room were pained, and I shoved the phone in the pocket of my sweatpants before going back to her. As long as I kept myself focused on her, I wouldn't lose it. Quickly, I grabbed a washcloth, one of my t-shirts and her sweats before sitting back on the bed. She was nearly doubled over, holding her back with one hand and her stomach with the other, and I put my fingers under her chin so my eyes met hers.

"We're going to the hospital." Don't break down. Don't break down. "We're going to get you dressed."

"Am I going to die?" She asked weakly. Why was she even thinking that? Of course she wasn't going to die! "Is...?"

"No." My insides twisted as I cut her off before she could finish that second sentence. "Nobody is going to die, Brittany. Do you hear me? I'm going to keep both of you safe."

Gently, I placed the washcloth between Brittany's legs and slipped on the sweatpants. I paused for an instant as my hands grazed her bump, and quickly pressed my lips above her belly button. Mama and I are here, baby, just hang in there, I whispered, closer to a prayer than anything I'd said in a long time. The tiny taps I felt against my lips steeled my resolve. When I pulled the shirt over Britt's head, I kissed her forehead, then the skin over her heart and she moved her arms to pull me closer. I met her eyes and we didn't need words. She knew I would do everything I could to protect her.

After sliding shoes on both of us and grabbing my bag, I helped Britt move to the couch and wrapped her in the throw blanket. My anxiety was starting to get the best of me, and pulling Brittany's head to my chest and carefully drawing hearts over her belly was to calm my panic just as much as hers. The ache in my chest grew, feeling her sobs against me and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop them. Those horrible nightmares I'd suppressed were trying to let themselves into my head, but I couldn't let them take over, I had to be the strong one.

"There was blood, right?" There wasn't panic in her voice, so much as the sound of defeat, and I didn't know which was worse.

"Yes." I could never lie to her. "But as soon as the ambulance gets here, they're going to take care of you. And I'll be with you the whole time."

"Don't let go of me."

"You know I never will."

It was probably about six minutes between the time I called 911 and the time that help came, but it felt like hours. The paramedics were at the door, and I called for them to come in. My hand was like a vise on Brittany's as the two guys who were probably younger than us lifted her onto the stretcher. The fear on Britt's face seemed to intensify as they began asking her questions on the way to the elevator, and I stepped in to answer as many as I could for her.

"How far along are you, Brittany?" The lanky redhead, Jeff asked her.

"Almost thirty weeks." She answered softly.

"Who is your obstetrician?"

"Dr. Anjli Singh." That one was mine to answer.

"Are you having contractions?" She looked to me for help, and I tried to determine whether or not she was.

"It's possible." I told them. Fuck. It made sense that they were contractions, and that was bad. Thirty weeks was too early, her due date was still way too far off. "Her pain has been coming and going for the past-"

"Hour." Britt finished. "And I threw up."

"Did you do anything strenuous today?"

"No!" I snapped. Hell no. No one was going to put ideas in Britt's head that she did something wrong. "We spent the day on the couch watching movies and cuddling. And we didn't have sex, either, since that's probably the next thing you'll ask."

I locked eyes with the man boy so he knew not to mess with me. He probably wasn't even being malicious, but my senses were entirely out of control and Snix was dying to rear her ugly head. When I broke the glare, my attention immediately went back to Brittany, and her crying hadn't lessened any. We were finally out of the building on the dark sidewalk, and Brittany's grip on my hand was tighter. No, absolutely not, this was not about me. I couldn't have her worry that I was going to panic in the dark. My eyes met hers and I silently told her as much.

The sound of the ambulance sirens were another trigger for me, but I wouldn't let them push me off the edge I was precariously balancing on. Jeff and the stocky blonde guy, who's name I hadn't heard, lifted Britt in through the back doors, and I scrambled up after them, desperate to grab her hand again. I touched as much of our bodies together as I possibly could, running my hand across her belly one last time before they started to attach the fetal monitor.

"Brittany, I'm going to need you to try and calm down." Jeff told her. Did the other guy even speak?

"I. Can't. Calm. Down." She gasped, turning her head so she could bury it against my chest.

"Can you...?" Jeff was speaking to me, and the way he was looking at me told me that Britt's panic was going to make the situation worse. Great, no one was allowed to lose it?

"Hey." I said soothingly. "Britt, we'll be at the hospital soon, but I need you to take some normal breaths. I'm here with you, you're safe, but you have to breathe for me. Let's do this together. Okay baby?"

She shook her head against my chest, and I stroked her hair and rubbed her back. Under my touch, I could feel her breaths slow down slightly, but it wasn't enough. How could I possibly calm Brittany down when I was having enough trouble keeping myself together. While I held her, I tried not to think about the fire that seemed to be burning in my throat, and the thing I knew would cool it down. No, Santana. Think about what matters. Get your shit together and help your wife.

"Tell me a story, please San." Brittany said suddenly, lifting her head enough so I could see her eyes.

We hadn't done this in so long, but back when we were in high school and one of us was worried or upset, the other would tell a story. The rules were, the stories had to be happy, and they had to be about the two of us together. Maybe it's strange, but hearing our own love stories had this amazing calming effect. It was a perfect idea, it was something I could actually handle.

"Okay. Okay." I was reassuring myself that I could do it. Good, happy memories, that's what could get us through. "I'll tell your favorite, the one about the first time I got dropped off the pyramid. When you broke down my walls so soon after meeting me."


We were twelve years old, and somehow we had become the chosen ones. A group of girls from Lima Junior High School who Sue Sylvester had personally culled to be the future of her Cheerios. Brittany and I had met on the first day, just three days before, and two hours later, that new girl Quinn Fabray had her face meet with my hand after she called Britt stupid. The fact that I liked the blonde enough to slap someone for her, that was saying something, because I never liked anyone. It was probably already a given that she would be my first and only best friend.

"Let's go ladies!" Sue Sylvester screamed into the megaphone. "This is not a contest to see who moves the slowest. I don't want to have to shoot you all up with amphetamines, so get a move on!"

"What do frogs have to do with this? And how is she going to shoot us with them?" Brittany whispered to me, raising her eyebrows.

"Huh?" Oh, right, I already knew that Britt mixed up words. "No, not amphibians, Britt, amphetamines. That crazy woman wants to give us drugs to make us move faster."

"Stop talking!" Her shouts echoed through my head. "Guadalupe, you're on top of the pyramid." Seriously, Guadalupe? Of all the Spanish names out there, that was the one she'd picked for me?

Sue Sylvester may have been psychotic, but she had good taste. I knew I was the hottest bitch there, except for probably Brittany, and I belonged at the top. When I was hoisted up, I gave a mega-watt smile before preparing to flip myself through the air and ace a perfect landing. Except I never made it that far. Someone below me (I still swear it was Fabray) let go of my foot, and before I knew it, I was tumbling through the air- and not in the way I was supposed to. When I hit the ground, everything was spinning, and my face was sticky with the blood that was dripping from my nose.

"Get back up!" Sue screamed, but I couldn't answer her, I was lying sprawled on the floor incoherent. "I'm talking to you Border Jumping Barbie! Do I need to get someone to speak Mexican?"

"I-" Yeah, words weren't really happening. Sue was going to kill me.

"Hey!" Someone screamed. Who was that? "You can't talk to her like that! That's bullying and I won't stand for it!"

There were gasps from the other girls. No one could talk to Coach Sue like that. My mind was still fuzzy and I was trying to figure out who was sticking up for me. Everyone was so scared of me that no one ever felt the need to defend me. When I looked up, there was Brittany, standing with her hands on her hips glaring at Sue. I tried to make myself sit up, but before I could, Britt had bent down and picked me up over her shoulder, still glaring at the coach, daring her to stop us as she carried me back to our cabin.

"We're going to be in so much trouble." I moaned as Britt put me down on her bottom bunk.

"She'll get over it. You're bleeding and your shoulder already looks like it's going to bruise."

I couldn't protest as Brittany forced me to lean my head back, and she wiped it with a wet washcloth. She took off my sneakers for me and helped me lie back on the bed, while she pulled disposable ice packs from her suitcase ("My mom figured I'd need them for something!"). I gasped in pain as she arranged them around my shoulder and then forced me to swallow three Advil. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, and when I woke up, Britt was still sitting next to me on the bed.

"Hmmm." I murmured sleepily. "Britt-Britt?"

"Britt-Britt?" I could hear the smile in her voice and the heat rushed to my cheeks.

"Umm." That fall rattled my brain, I didn't ever call people nice nicknames. "Sorry, I don't know why I called you that."

"No, I like it, no one else has ever used that one."

"Thanks for standing up to Sue. She's such a bitch, and I'm sure we'll both pay the price for this."

"I don't care. She's a bully and I don't like bullies."

"No one has ever tried to protect me like that before. It was, um, really nice."

"Everyone should have someone that would protect them. I think we're going to be really good friends, San. Then we can always protect each other."

Had anyone else said that to me, I would have laughed in their face. I didn't do friends, I just hung out with people as a matter of convenience. But something about Britt was different, something made me let her in almost immediately. The girl made pinky promises, she danced to no music in the middle of the extra laps Sue forced on us for punishment, she was everything I would have hated in anyone else, and yet probably even then, I loved her.


When I finished the story, I felt Brittany's heart rate and breathing had slowed significantly. She was calmer, calm enough that Jeff nodded at me in gratitude. Our hands were still clasped tighter than ever before, but as long as she was relaxed enough to keep her and the baby as safe as possible, we were good. I could tell we were reaching the hospital, and I gently placed a kiss on Britt's forehead, and told her with my eyes how much I loved her. She was going to be okay, she had to be okay. My mind needed to stop drifting off to the dark place, Brittany could not see the fever pitch of fear in my eyes.

"Okay, time to to inside." Jeff told us, and they began to move Britt.

"I'm not letting go B, don't forget that."