CHAPTER 27: THE BTT ARE BFFS
Harry, along with the entire rest of the Great Hall, turned to stare at the loud newcomer. He was sitting close to the door, so he was able to get a good look at him. His appearance was strange enough to grab his attention even if he hadn't just barged in during dinner. Despite looking like he was in his early twenties at most, his messy hair was stark white, and his eyes gleamed blood red. Albino, then? Harry had heard the term before, and it seemed to suit this pale figure. He was also dressed in Muggle clothing – a dark blue coat, stylishly ripped jeans, and leather boots. His accent seemed German, though Harry wasn't an expert. All of this, combined with the oddness of his statement, meant that it would have been strange if everyone hadn't been staring at him.
Another voice rang out, this one with a French accent. "Zat is not ze entrance we agreed on, Gilbert!" Another man came into view, this one looking at least somewhat more normal, with dark ashy blond hair that fell down to his shoulders and deep blue eyes. His clothes were what made him stand out, though. They were also of Muggle make, and they were simply fabulous. He looked as if he belonged in a magazine or a shampoo commercial.
Yet another man came into view. "I think it was a great entrance!" he said, and his accent seemed to be Spanish. He was probably the most inconspicuous of the three, with short, messy brown hair, tanned skin, and bright green eyes. He was dressed in Muggle clothes as well, though all that was really notable about them was that his coat was rather thick and warm.
Harry heard a groan beside him, and turned to see Alfred with his face buried in his hands. "What are they doing here?" he muttered.
"You know them?" asked Ron.
Alfred lifted his head. "Yeah, I guess. I've got no idea what they're doing here, though."
The three newcomers had started arguing. "Ze entrance you chose vasn't awesome enough, so I improved it! Chill out, Francis!"
"Improved it? You just made it all about you, you-"
"I liked both of your ideas, so I'm okay with how it turned out."
"Stop approving of everyzing we do, Antonio, I am trying to 'ave an argument 'ere!"
"Um…" Matthew seemed to have materialized near the three strangers. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but-"
"MATTHIEU! TU ES TELLEMONT MIGNON!" The one referred to as Francis grabbed Matthew and started cuddling him, petting his hair and cooing in French.
Alfred sighed. "We'd better intervene now, before Francis runs away with him." He stood up and walked over to the developing soap opera near the door. Harry and Ron followed, if only to see what happened.
The Spaniard (Antonio, was it?) was busy talking to Francis. "I perfectly understand the urge to hug cute little boys, but I think Matthew's starting to suffocate." Francis seemed to completely ignore this, absorbed in acting like a little girl who'd just received a baby doll for Christmas.
Gilbert seemed to be the only one to notice them. "Oh, hallo, less awesome zan me people. Zink you can get Francis to stop forcing himself on Birdie?"
"No problem! And I'm just as awesome as you, dude!" Alfred grabbed a handful of Francis' hair and yanked. "Yo, Francypants, stop spazzing out over him!"
"Ow! Sacrebleu!" Francis released Matthew and started rubbing his scalp, glaring at Alfred. "Was zat really necessary, Alfred?"
"Yup! So, did you just come here to fawn on Mattie, or…?"
Gilbert provided the answer. "Vell, zat's vhy he came here. I'm here to give zis back." He pulled a bag out of seemingly nowhere and handed it to Matthew. "I found it at my place, and it had a maple leaf on it, so I assumed it was yours."
Matthew's eyes widened. "I was wondering where that was, eh. I was in such a hurry to catch the plane, I must have forgotten it after the Christmas party. Thank you, Gilbert!"
Gilbert smiled and ruffled his hair. "No problem, Birdie." He tilted his head to the side. "Has your hair always been zis soft?"
"Um… I don't know how to answer that, eh."
Alfred spoke up. "So, Gilbert's here to return something, and Francypants is here to drool over Mattie… What are you doing here, Antonio?"
Antonio shrugged. "They were going, and it's been a while since I visited Hogwarts, so I decided to just tag along." He looked around the Great Hall. "It's even nicer than I remember! All those candles… it's amazing that everyone isn't covered in melted wax. I suppose they use magic to stop it."
"I'm afraid we can't tell you all our secrets, Señor Fernandez Carriedo." They all turned to see that Professor Dumbledore had joined them. He was looking at the three newcomers with a knowing, friendly twinkle in his eyes. "It is good to finally see you in person, Herr Beilschmidt. I was expecting you earlier."
Gilbert puffed out his chest. "Vhen you're as awesome as me, it takes a vhile to plan an appropriate entrance."
Francis rolled his eyes. "Oui, several hours, in fact. And zen you do a completely different entrance for no reason, apparently."
Gilbert waved a hand dismissively. "Ze unawesome should not speak of zat vhich zey do not understand."
Dumbledore's smile never faded. He seemed amused by their bickering. "Since you have come all this way, would you like to stay for dinner?"
The effect this polite invitation had was almost comical. Francis let out a sort of wail and grabbed onto Matthew for support. Gilbert blanched and his smug expression turned to one of horror. Even Antonio, who had never stopped smiling up until this point, started looking worried. "You should stay, the food here is pretty good, eh," said Matthew, patting Francis reassuringly on the arm.
"Of course you'd zink zat!" wailed Francis. "Your sense of taste 'as been completely ruined by Artur's cooking!"
"I-I-I zink I'll pass," stammered Gilbert. "I ate British food vunce, und it nearly killed me."
"If you are referring to Arthur Kirkland's cooking, I can understand why you might be hesitant," said Dumbledore. "But I assure you he had nothing to do with the preparation of our food."
After a bit more convincing from Alfred, Matthew and Dumbledore, the visitors agreed to stay for dinner. They ended up sitting at the staff table. Dumbledore summoned three chairs for them. Antonio was seated next to Snape. The Spaniard seemed to be trying to have a conversation with him, though from the lack of movement from Snape's mouth it was mostly one-sided. Francis was seated next to Professor McGonagall. Much like Antonio and Snape, Francis was talking to McGonagall, and she wasn't responding. Francis' expression was much more playful and teasing than Antonio's, though, so Harry guessed that McGonagall had good reason to be ignoring him. And Gilbert was seated next to…
"Oh, man, this ought to be good," said Alfred as the German sat next to Lockhart. "The two largest egos on the face of the earth are about to interact, dudes."
Harry strained his ears to hear the conversation, but everyone else was so busy talking about these strange guests that it was impossible. All he could do was watch their expressions. At the start they both wore extremely smug, self-satisfied smiles. As the dinner progressed, Gilbert's smile faded into a scowl, while Lockhart's stayed in place, if becoming more noticeably fake and cracking around the edges as their conversation went on. By the time dessert was over, Gilbert was looking downright murderous and Lockhart's smile had become the sort worn by people about to snap and start gunning down innocent civilians.
When the leftovers vanished from the plates, everyone stood up to leave, including the guests. Harry, Ron and Alfred all lingered in order to see the three of them leave. They all shook hands with Dumbledore and said something Harry couldn't hear over the din, though it was probably along the lines of 'thanks for dinner, it didn't kill me nearly as much as I was expecting'. Then Gilbert turned around and punched a surprised Lockhart in the face. He fell to the ground, obviously knocked out cold. Gilbert sprinted out of the Great Hall laughing and shouting, "I AM ZE MOST AWESOME PERSON IN ZE WOOOOOORLD!" That made pretty much everyone shut up and freeze. Francis stared after Gilbert with a look of shock, while Antonio just wore the same smile he'd been wearing for pretty much the entire night.
Antonio spoke up first. "Gracias again, Dumbledore! Adios!" Then he sprinted out of the Great Hall after his friend, leaving Francis on his own.
The Frenchman recovered himself, regaining a smile and blowing a kiss to the Great Hall at large. "Au revoir, 'Ogwarts! Ne oubliez pas de me écrire, Matthieu!" And then he ran out of the Great Hall so fast he was barely more than a blur.
Harry and Ron looked at each other. "That was the single strangest dinner I've ever had," said Harry.
"Clearly you didn't grow up in a magic family," said Ron. "But that was pretty weird, mate."
A/N: Sorry to everyone who thought the BTT would be attending Hogwarts, they're just there for a visit. Also sorry this is a bit late. HAVE A HUG! \(^-^)/ Translations: Tu es tellemont mignon! = You are so cute! Ne oubliez pas de me écrire! = Don't forget to write me! Forgive my GoogleTranslate French. It's rather sad when France has to be the sane one in a group, isn't it? Originally this chapter was going to be from Canada's POV, but then I realized it's been forever since I did a Harry chapter, so I decided to use an outsider's perspective. Anyway, onto Q&A! To Guest: I've thought a bit about this, and I think it would work out fine. I mean, appearance-wise Nations are mostly indistinguishable from humans, so in my headcanon it would be okay. To RussianMochi: Don't worry, they're fine! I haven't actually read any of the book manga, I've just seen the anime and read most of the stuff on Hetarchive. There's a strip where France and England fight over Canada in there?! I know there's one for America, but I didn't realize Canada got one, too! But, yeah, considering how France wanted to be America's big brother, and how he constantly refers to himself as a big brother, Canada would probably call him frère aîné (big brother) rather than papa. In this fic, at least. To Berlin: I definitely wouldn't. I might watch and take pictures, though. To MissAmerica13: Sorry, it was just a visit. And I don't think any romances are going on. I don't really like writing them, and even if I did the whole 'Canada looks twelve at the moment' thing would make it a bit awkward. As for France, I feel like while he won't go all the way 'forcing his love', he'll still push the boundaries a lot. NEXT CHAPTER: Our heroes find a certain diary. See you all next time!
