Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tension sizzled in the air as no one dared to do so much as breathe.
Cheek resting against Johnny's shoulder, she listened to the silence stretch out, completely aware of who had just joined them. Drawing in a deep breath, she pushed away and sat up. With two harsh swipes, she cleared away the remnants of her breakdown. Calmly retreating to a corner of the couch, Elizabeth prepared herself for what was to come.
She felt all eyes descend on her. Especially his piercing gaze.
Spine locked into place, she kept her back to the door and concentrated on evening out her erratic breathing. She stole a glance at Jason to notice that he was dripping wet. She looked away quickly for her eyes to meet Johnny's inquiring green ones. Brows furrowed, he watched her closely. Forcing a smile, she reached for his hand. "It's okay," she reassured him.
Johnny nodded his head in understanding, but his eyes remained concerned. He squeezed her hand in support before he rose to leave.
She flashed a weak smile at each Musketeer as they all bid her goodbye. Anxiously rubbing her jean clad thighs, she waited for them to move for the door.
"We'll be right outside if you need us, Lizbits," Francis informed her, dropping a quick kiss to the top of her head.
One by one, Elizabeth listened to them march out of the penthouse. The seconds slowly ticked by before the door closed with an ominous thud.
Once again silence descended over the living room.
Elizabeth didn't have to look over her shoulder to know who remained, where he stood, or how he felt. Tension rolled off of him in waves. Each wave relentlessly crashing against her resolve to confront the situation.
Her hands trembled as she reached for a throw pillow. Wrapping her arms around it, she hugged it close. Her eyes riveted on the checkered fabric.
"We have to talk," he said, breaking the silence. "I'll be back in a few minutes.
She nodded her head at the wall in front of her.
She listened to his footsteps as he climbed the stairs. They faded away as he reached the second floor and once again she was alone.
In the past, she would have gone out of her way to avoid any kind of confrontation, but she refused to let history repeat itself. Most of all she was tired of running. Running hadn't helped her relationship with Lucky. It had only intensified the pain and desperation that their relationship had concluded in. But this time, she refused to turn her cheek and pretend everything was good and dandy. This time she was going to put an end to miscommunications and make herself willingly vulnerable to set things right and move on.
His heavy footsteps penetrated her thoughts. The sound was only amplified by the silence surrounding them.
Elizabeth's gaze flickered to the staircase and instantly she regretted the action. Heat spread through her at the sight of Jason pulling on a dry gray shirt. Tearing her eyes away from his bare skin, she stared ahead. "Oh boy," she mumbled under her breath.
His towering shadow fell over her as he passed by her. She felt the couch dip as he lowered his large frame down next to her. She felt him shift to face her right before his dark aroma invaded her senses. Leather and pine enveloped her. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and bury her face into the crock of his neck.
Inhaling deeply, Elizabeth pulled herself together and raised her eyes. Instantly, she met his steady gaze. She expected his featured to be shuttered and his eyes guarded, instead she saw the same vulnerability she felt staring back at her.
He was the first to look away.
"I'm so sorry," the words slipped through her lips as shame washed over her.
His eyes snapped back to her. This time they were full of surprise and confusion. "What for? You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one—"
Elizabeth cut him right off. He had nothing to be sorry about. "For getting drunk," she released her hold on the pillow to freely gesture with her hands. "For being so irresponsible, setting a terrible example for Lil. I know better," all her anxiety forgotten, she relaxed and rambled on. "I don't get drunk and throw myself at someone. Especially my boss," she said fiercely. "I can only imagine what you think of me."
"Elizabeth," he reached for her.
She batted his hands away and continued on. "What was I thinking? I look after a four year old for God's sake. I shouldn't be drinking excessively." She threw up her hands in frustration. "It was irresponsible of me. I'm not a college student who can drink to her heart's desire because she's in a self pitying mood. I wasn't even that type in college!"
"Elizabeth—"
"And to think things would be fine after I threw myself at you. How delusional could I be? What was I thinking? Wait, I wasn't thinking," she exclaimed.
"Elizabeth," Jason said sharply, grabbing her hands. He had her attention that was for sure. Forehead creased, his features pulled into a puzzled scowl. "Exactly what do you think happened last night?" he asked, cocking a sandy brown eyebrow at her.
She could feel the warmth spread through her body from his touch. His hands were as rough as she remembered them being and just as gentle. She knew her cheeks were flaming red and pretty soon she was going to break into a sweat or do something to embarrass herself if he didn't move out of her personal space. From what she could remember of the previous night, how could he ask her that? He was there. "You know what happened," Elizabeth mumbled, staring at his throat. She watched his Adam's apple bobble as he swallowed roughly.
"No, I want you to tell me what happened."
Bowing her head in defeat, Elizabeth released a long stream of air. "We slept together," she choked out, her cheeks scorching in embarrassment.
"Elizabeth," he sighed heavily. "Look at me," he urged, rubbing her hands.
"No."
Releasing her hands, he gently cupped her cheeks and tilted her head back, forcing her to look up at him. His stunning eyes raked over her face before a corner of his chiseled lips kicked up into a crooked smile. "Nothing like that happened, Elizabeth."
It was her turn to frown in confusion. "What are you talking about? Of course, we did," she insisted. "I remembered we did. I was there. I think I would remember something like that."
His crooked smile was a full blown grin now. "You were drunk. I don't think your memory is very reliable at the moment."
Leaning back against the arm of the couch, she pondered the night before. It was all fuzzy. She could only remember certain things vividly, but other things were hazy. Then again, Jason was right; she had been intoxicated above the legal limit. "I was drunk," she stated as though it was just occurring to her.
"Uh huh."
She pulled free to smack his arm. "Are you mocking me?"
"Of course not," he replied, but the twinkle in his blue eyes said otherwise.
"You are," she yelped, her eyes wide in alarm.
Jason laughed.
She pummeled him with the throw pillow, but he only continued to laugh. "This is not funny!"
"I know," he agreed, gasping for air.
Somehow during her childish behavior, Jason had gotten the upper hand and pinned her onto the sofa. Back flat on the sofa cushions, she stared up at him as he settled in between her spread thighs. Since she had no hope of overpowering his two hundred-twenty pounds, Elizabeth settled for pouting. He only grinned down at her.
"This is not funny," Elizabeth replied, chin jutting up.
"I know," he dropped a kiss to her chin.
"Are you going to enlighten me?" she sassed him.
"Things got slightly out of control last night," he murmured, his eyes fixed on her lips. Her heart took off on a gallop. Things were heading towards out of control again in her opinion. "No ones to really blame. We were both willing participants except," he licked his lips. "Except you were drunk and one of us had to pull back."
"So we didn't sleep together?" she asked, her arms finding their way around his neck.
"Not in the biblical sense, no."
"And nothing happened?"
"Nothing happened," he said with a small smile.
"Okay," she said distractedly, running her fingers through his wet locks.
"Okay."
"It could though," Elizabeth told him.
It was as though a switch was flicked off. Jason was off her and on the other side of the room in a matter of seconds. Lying flat on her back, eyes trained on the ceiling, Elizabeth remained puzzled and struggling to control her irregular pulse. Sitting up, she took deep breaths to calm her hammering heart. She watched him closely as he roughly spread his hands through his damp hair. He tugged at them in apparent frustration. He turned his back to her, the tension visible in the arch of his stiff spine as he walked away from her. There was suddenly an edge to his movements.
"We—I can't," he murmured harshly over his shoulder. "I'm so sorry I can't do this."
Forcing herself to breathe, she reached out for him. "I want to try though."
He shook his head adamantly. "I can't do this."
The words reached her from a distance. Each one slicing through her.
Pivoting on his heels, he faced her. Head bowed, hands on his hips, he was an unforgettable presence. A presence she suddenly found suffocating. A piercing pain ripped through her, stealing her breath.
"I thought…" Jason trailed off. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I thought I could take the risks of having a family in this life, but I learned early on that being vulnerable means having to make difficult decisions to protect not only myself, but the people I care for."
She caught the tremor in his hands as he scrubbed his face. "I have to think of Lila before anything else." The fact he used Lil's full name was more than just a sign he meant what he said. "She's my first priority and I need to do what is best for her. I can't take many risks in this life. I can't take the risk of hurting her." He inhaled deeply. "Or you," the simple two words a mere whisper.
A vision of the blue eyed child she loved like her own twirled before her eyes. The beautiful apparition blurred as tears filled her eyes.
"There are no words to tell you how much I appreciate your kindness towards my daughter. I can never repay you for loving her and taking care of her when I couldn't."
She struggled to hold back her tears. Swallowing past the ache in her throat, she pulled herself together. "She was more than a job."
"I know."
Drawing in a difficult gasp of air, she composed herself even though she began to feel the first cracks of her heart. Swinging her bare feet to the floor, Elizabeth prepared herself for the preparations she had held off since she had first submitted her resignation letter.
Clasping her shaking hands in her lap, she stared ahead. "I guess I should start packing."
"Packing?"
The young child's confused voice rang through the penthouse as clear as day.
Elizabeth's eyes flashed to Jason's alarmed ones. He remained frozen with his back to the penthouse door, which was now wide open and in the threshold stood a troubled Lil with her trusted sidekick. Rising to her feet, her eyes remained locked with Jason's as it dawned on her that they had both failed to inform the child of Elizabeth's impending departure.
Guilt and dread swept through her at the thought of causing her charge an ounce of pain. It was inevitable. Lil deserved the truth even though it would break her heart.
Jason turned to face his daughter just as Elizabeth reached his side. They both gawked at the child as she observed them with searching eyes. There was unspeakable knowledge in the wide, electrifying blue eyes. They assessed them with measured glances and scrutinizing vision. There was no lying to those eyes.
A resolved sigh echoed in the silence as Jason kneeled before his daughter. Elizabeth watched as he took hold of Lil with tender hands. Lovingly, he tucked in a lock of her golden hair.
"Daddy, why does Elizabeth have to start packing?" the wise child inquired before her father could address her. "Are we going on a trip?"
"Angel, Elizabeth is going on a trip."
Pale blonde eye lashes rose to her hairline. "Oh." Lil didn't miss a beat. "When is she coming back?"
A smile full of regret curved his lips. "She's not. Elizabeth is leaving."
The moment she fought off occurred as Elizabeth watched the confusion and then the pain seep into Lil's stunning eyes. Her heart shattered as Lil stepped away from her father and clutched Mr. Floppy to her heart. Her bottom lip quivered.
"What do you mean, Daddy?"
Jason reached for his daughter, but she thwarted him. "She's going to go live on her own."
"You're not being nice, Daddy. Please stop," she begged. Her tormented blue orbs flashed to Elizabeth. "You can't leave."
"Lil, I'm so sorry." Elizabeth stepped towards the child as she took a step backwards.
"You can't leave," she repeated.
"Lil—"
"You promised," she cried, taking another step backwards into the hallway. "You promised never to leave me, Liz. You pinky sweared."
Her breath hitched at the unspeakable pain and sorrow that gazed up at her. Desperately, she reached for the child who had been the center of her world for the past year. "It doesn't—"
Lil shook her head fiercely as the first tears streaked down her cheek. "You promised!"
"Precious," Jason reached for her again.
"No," she gasped. She raised her wounded eyes to her father. "This is your fault, Daddy. You said you would try. You didn't try."
Elizabeth felt the first tear fall and soon a plethora of them cascaded down her face for the child before her. Her heart ached to know the pain reflected in Lil's beautiful eyes were partially her fault. She had betrayed the child. She had betrayed her in a way that was unforgiveable in Lil's young mind.
Helplessly, she watched Lil turn sharply and escape into the hallway. She broke into a full run, straight into the Corinthos penthouse. Brenda caught the child and swept her up into her arms. Her sad eyes caught Elizabeth's as she soothed the weeping toddler.
Reluctantly, she turned away and moved towards the stairs. She was leaving behind so much more than a job. She was leaving behind the daughter who was never truly hers, a man she loved for reasons she would never able to share with him and a family who had accepted her with open arms. Most of all, she was leaving behind a home she had desperately sought her whole life.
On a heavy sigh, Elizabeth took the first step of the stairs and began the long trek to her room to begin dismantling the life she had built in the Morgan household.
