Smashing Parodies
The Smash SpongeBob Movie Part 6
Pit and Kirby snored as they lay on the ground in a dark place, and they suddenly woke up with a fright.
"Are we dead?" Kirby asked.
"I don't think so. I don't know where we are." Pit replied as he got up and suddenly bumped into an invisible wall. "What is this?"
"It's some kind of wall of psychic energy."
Pit saw that they were in fact trapped in some kind of psychic barrier. He then noticed that there were several figures standing around the area. "Hey, there's some folk."
"Hey, over here! Hey! Hey! Hey, you guys! You guys, hey! Help! Hey! Help! A little help here! We're stuck in this..." Pit and Kirby called out, but Pit stopped when he realized something.
"Wait a second." He looked around at the figures. All of them weren't moving and they were all standing on some kind of circular stand, and their bodies were as gray as stone. "Those people are...dead." The two of them then looked up to see the cyclops hovering over them, and they screamed as they began to run around in terror. "What's he gonna do with us?" Pit asked as they watched the cyclops take some of the figures and put them on shelves. "Kirby, he's killing people and making them into smelly trophies, and I think we're next!"
"You think so?" Kirby asked as the cyclops lifted him out.
"Kirby! No!" The cyclops then took Pit out and put them both on trophy stands. As soon as their touched the stand, gray matter began to petrify their feet, and they couldn't move and they began to feel the life begin to be drained out of them. The cyclops laughed maniacally and then he disappeared. "This doesn't look too good, Kirby."
"You mean we're not gonna get the crown, save the town and Mr. Mario?" Kirby asked in a weak voice.
"I don't even think we're gonna be able to save ourselves, buddy. Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Kirby."
"You mean that we're attractive?"
"No, that we're just kids. A couple of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, look at us. We didn't even come close to the crown. We let everybody down. We failed."
"Subspace."
"Yeah, we never made it to Subspace."
"Subspace."
"Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to."
"Subspace."
"Okay, now you're starting to bum me out, Kirby."
"No, look at the sign." Pit looked to see that there was a sign that said that they were in Subspace.
"But if this is Subspace, then where's the...?" The two of them turned and saw the crown sitting on a cushion. "Master Hand's crown. This is Subspace. Kirby, we did make it."
"Yeah, I guess we did."
"We did alright for a couple of goofballs." The gray matter was starting to consume them, and then Pit began to sing in a weak voice. "I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah..."
Kirby then joined him on the singing. "You're a Goofy Goober, yeah...We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah..." The matter completely petrified them and the two of them then became lifeless trophies, with the only thing remaining being the tears that formed in their eyes. The tears then ran down their petrified bodies and landed on their trophy stand. After a moment, their bodies started glowing and they were brought back to life.
"Hey, we're alive! Let's get that crown."
"Right." Pit and Kirby rushed over to the crown and prepared ready to pick it up.
"On three, Kirby. Ready? One, two, three. Hey, it's lighter than I thought." The cyclops picked up the crown and suddenly, all of the trophies began to shake.
"What's happening?" Kirby asked.
"I don't know. Look!"
The other trophies started glowing and soon they came back to life and they all surrounded the cyclops. One of them threw their trophy stand at him and they began to beat him up. While the rest of the trophies were beating up the cyclops, Pit and Kirby took that opportunity to escape through a portal where they came out on a mountain side.
"Come on, Kirby. Let's get this crown back to Smashville. Do you still have that bag of winds?"
"I sure do."
"Okay, let's go over the instructions. Let's see, it says here, Step one: Point bag away from home."
"Okay."
"Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground."
"Right!"
"Step three: Remove string from bag releasing the winds."
"Check." Kirby pulled the string tied around the bag, and the bag flew out of his arm.
"Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. Alright, let's do it for real."
"Uh, Pit?" Kirby pointed to the bag flying away.
"No, no, stop!" Pit chased after the bag, but it fell into a deep crevice. "Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Smashville now?"
"I can take you there." Pit and Kirby looked to see someone in a ship was flying towards them and stopped right in front of them.
"Who are you?" Pit asked.
"I'm Captain Falcon."
"Hooray!" Pit and Kirby cheered, and then they got on the back of the ship and they began to fly off. "Next stop, Smashville!"
Back in Smashville, Mewtwo walked inside the Smash Burger.
"Well, Mario, you know what today is? Sorry about this calendar. March 14. Wait, that's not right. It should say the day that Mario fries!" Mewtwo laughed evilly, and then looked out to see Master Hand and Rosalina arriving. "Guess who's here."
"Hooray for Falcon! Nothing can stop us now."
"Unidentified object off the hindquarters."
"It looks like..." Pit looked to see a boot heading towards the ship. "Bigger boot. But how?" The boot landed on the ship and Bayonetta came out from under it with her clothes tattered. "Ah! Bayonetta!"
"Did you miss me?"
Mewtwo sat in a small chair with popcorn and a drink next to him just as Master Hand and Rosalina came in. "This is the best seat in the house. Alright Master Hand, let's get it on!"
"Mario, your six-day reprieve is up! And it is time for you to die!" Master Hand announced, and Mario began to sweat piles of ice cubes. "There is nothing else I can do."
"You can give Pit and Kirby a little more time." Rosalina suggested.
"Except give Pit and Kirby a little more time...What?" Master Hand realized what he just said and quickly turned to Rosalina. "Rosalina, will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution."
"Stalling? I'm not stalling anything."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You're doing it right now."
"I'm stalling."
"Yes."
"Stalling?"
"Stalling!"
"Stalling."
"STALLING!"
"Oh, boy." Mewtwo groaned.
"Now, where were we?" Bayonetta asked as she removed her broken glasses.
"Kirby, run."
"No, I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop..." Bayonetta grabbed Kirby and threw him towards the back of the ship. "Run, Pit!" Pit quickly ran under and towards the back of the ship just as she fired several shots at him. "Pit, be careful."
"Come on, kid, give it up. Bayonetta always gets her man."
"Never!" Pit shouted as he jumped onto the other side of the ship. "Yeah! I did it!"
Bayonetta suddenly appeared from behind him. "You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you."
"I don't know what Mewtwo's paying you, but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while." Pit took out a pile of money, and Bayonetta snatched them out of his hand.
"It's gonna take a lot more than five...What is this?"
"That is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober-" Bayonetta tossed the dollars away and grabbed Pit by the throat. "I got bubbles. Fun at parties." He took out a bubble wand and the bubbles sprayed right into eyes.
"My eyes!" Bayonetta screamed as she threw Pit from behind her. He flew towards the end of the ship but Kirby caught his hand.
"I got you, Pit."
"Thanks, buddy." Bayonetta then stood in front of them ready to crush them. "Uh, thanks a lot."
"That's it! I'm through messing around! See ya later, fools!" Suddenly, there was a honking sound from somewhere. "Huh?" Bayonetta turned around to see that they were approaching a tunnel fast, and then was hit and was knocked off the ship.
"See ya." Kirby said.
"So you think...I'm...stalling?" Rosalina asked for practically the millionth time.
"Gah! Where am I, in Crazytown?! I have had enough of this nonsense! You ought to wait in the carriage until the executed is done."
"But, Master Hand..."
"NOW!" Master Hand ordered, and Rosalina went outside and he put a lock on the door.
"No, no, no! Oh, Pit, wherever you are, you better hurry."
"Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. Smashville's directly below."
"But we'll never be able to float down in time." Pit said.
"Who said anything about floating?" Falcon asked he pressed a button, and a cannon appeared from behind Pit and Kirby. "All hands on deck." A hand placed the two of them in the cannon and prepared to launch them.
"10 seconds to liftoff. 9, 8..."
"Mario, the time has come..." Master Hand began as he readied his finger.
"No!" Rosalina shouted from outside.
"Yes!" Mewtwo shouted as he jumped out of his seat.
"6, 5..."
"For you..."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"3, 2..."
"To fry!"
"No-o-o!"
"Yes!"
"1..." The cannon then fired and Pit, Kirby, and the crown were launched back down to Smashville and crashed right through the roof of the Smash Burger just as Master Hand fired his beam. The crown blocked the beam and it blasted up to the sky.
"You done good, Falcon. You done..." Falcon was suddenly blasted by the beam, but was relatively okay. "Ow."
