Tuesday came before I could even think about it. The week passed in a craze with people constantly asking me questions and writing everything down on tiny pieces of parchment. When the carriage appeared in front of Papa's house Monday night everything that I had to be apart in was finished. My measurements for the dress fitting had been taken, choosing who was invited had been written down and inquiries as to what I would like as a wedding present were settled.

Debbie and mother were discussing wedding plans in hushed tones as I sat brushing Lucan's hair. There was a knock on the door and David burst in.

"Susanna! The carriage is here." He said exhausted from running up the hill.

"Ok David. I don't leave till the morning." I said with a smile.

"No someone is in the carriage." He said. I looked at him puzzled. Debbie just shrugged.

"Is it Adam?"

"No it's a girl." He said and then raced out of the house.

"Well he's excited." Debbie chuckled.

"Boys at that age always are when it comes to girls." Mother said with a tut and went back to her notes.

"I guess I better see who it is." I said patting Lucan to get him off of me. I threw on my white shawl and raced Lucan down the hill. He barked curiously at the door of the carriage before realizing everyone was inside. He disappeared into the bright warm house and I smiled as Papa started shouting at him to get off.

"It's alright." She said. "Oh how lovely you are." When her purple eyes met mine I almost broke into tears.

"Ceecee!" I screamed and threw myself into her arms. She inhaled deeply and then laughed.

"I've missed you as well."

"Oh Ceecee!" I said and then burst into tears. I don't know what made me cry or why I was even crying but once I started I couldn't stop. I was vaguely aware of Papa and Jacob becoming uncomfortable with my sudden emotion and leaving the house. When I finally calmed down Ceecee sat on the floor in front of me stroking my hair and Lucan's head rested on my lap as he looked at me with a worried expression.

"I would ask you how you are but I can see it for myself." She laughed and handed me a handkerchief that matched her eyes.

"Oh Ceecee," I sighed. "This is exhausting me. This whole two weddings is horrible. Its tiring enough getting married once, but two marriages in one week."

"The only wedding I would be worried about is the royal one. The wedding here will be one for you to relax and enjoy a good time with your family." She said smiling.

"It'll be my last time seeing them." I said my heart heavy and tears filling my eyes again.

"It wont be your last time seeing them silly." She brushed my hair back and laughed. "Do you have your monthly bleed?"

"Yes but that's not the point." I said and smirked at the look she was giving me. I might've been acting a little irrational but I was afraid that I would never get to see them again. Ceecee looked around the room and found the plate of shortbread cookies that Debbie had made. She grabbed the plate and placed it on the floor between us.

"Eat! You look like you haven't eaten since we last saw each other."

"That was forever ago." I said taking a cookie and breaking a piece for Lucan. "When was that?"

"When…well when your late husband passed." She said carefully. I nodded and took a bite of the cookie.

"That seems like ages."

"Over a year." She said as she looked around the room.

"I heard you married Big Tom." I said looking at my cookie and trying not to smirk.

"Do you think I'd still be sitting here I married him? He would've crushed me." She said and we erupted in laughter.

"Not necessarily. You could be the one…you know."

"Doing all the work?" She laughed again. "I do enough work as it is." I burst into giggles like I used to do when Gina talked about boys she had kissed.

"I heard you were pregnant that's why you're getting married." She said and when I looked at her she smiled. "I jest. The thought just came to me actually as your started crying irrationally."

"It's not completely irrational! He asked me to pretend I don't come from this family. I will have to pretend that I don't know them and have to visit in secret."

"Sound exciting."

"Its horrible. He told me that I can only communicate through formal letters, nothing personal incase they get intercepted. Who wants to live like that?" I asked as I shoved a cookie into my mouth.

"Someone who is about to marry the love of their life." She smiled and nodded.

"Yes I suppose I should be more excited."

"It's understandable why you're not though," she said and a crease formed in her forehead.

"Lets not talk about him. We'll both cry." I said grabbing her hand. I found Papa's secret whiskey bottle hidden under a loose rock in the hearth and pulled it out. I poured us each a hefty amount and put the bottle back.

"Won't he get mad?"

"I'll be the Q-queen of England. I can buy him 6 bottles if he wants." I said and we toasted to our friendship. By the time Papa returned we were lying on the floor in fits of laughter, the plate empty and our mugs drained. He smiled at us and went into his room without another word.

"Ugh…" she said as she sat up. "We leave so early."

"You are staying with me for all of my lessons right?"

"I am your first official Lady-in-waiting." She said bowing her head at me.

"Please don't do that." I said sitting up and wishing I hadn't.

"Get used to it Suse. Everyone will be doing it come September."

"Yes well…but it is only March. Let's not rush things." I said.

"You get to have six ladies. Have you any thoughts as to who the other five will be?" Ceecee asked me as she patted Lucan's head.

"I-I have no idea."

"Well then, whilst we are staying with the Duke and Duchess of Cumberland we shall make you some friends to take with us."

"What about Jane?"

"Jane?" Ceecee frowned. "Isn't she married with children? I would recommend against bringing her away from her family to serve you. But there is still Daisy."

"Daisy." I cringed. "Jane is the better one of the two. The easier one to handle." Ceecee laughed.

"I am almost positive that she has a bastard in her belly anyways." I stared at her shocked and then shook my head. I sighed after a second.

"I don't think I can handle this. It's too much to comprehend."

"Well I would explain it to you but I'm pretty sure you will find out about it once you are pregnant with your own child."

"Not that!" I said pinching Ceecee. She laughed and moved away.

"You'll be a great queen Suze. Everyone will love you." She yawned as her eyes started to flicker closed. "You'll see." And with that she was asleep. I stretched out on the hay beside her and sighed. I could be a great queen. I would be able to relate to the common people and it was them who would love me most. I can charm the royalty too or at least I went to sleep that night trying to convince myself that I could become one of them.

The morning woke us with hot dog breath on our faces and constant "neighing" outside. I rolled over and blinked at the bright sunlight. My head was pounding and there was straw all in my hair. Ceecee snored beside me and I gently shook her.

"It's time to get up." I said and stood up. I swayed slightly and pushed my wild hair away from my face. I walked to the door and opened it, instantly regretting it.

"You awake finally!" Jacob snapped.

"You missed breakfast." David said.

"Why didn't anyone wake us?" I asked as people bustled by me with trunks and sacks of my stuff.

"We tried." Debbie said puffing.

"Three times!" Aggie snapped too.

"Oh I see." I said and shot Ceecee a worried look.

"We're an hour behind my lady." The driver said as he patted Lea's neck and climbed up onto the seat.

"Can't we wait a little bit longer?" I asked looking at my family.

"I'm afraid not if we want to be there by nightfall. And I would not recommend traveling the roads at night."

"Bandits!" Samuel whispered to me and I smirked at him. Tears filled my eyes again as the door to the carriage opened and Ceecee climbed in.

"I haven't even changed." I said looking at my wrinkled brown wool dress.

"You'll have to change on the way there." Papa said. He pulled a piece of straw from my hair and sighed. "My darling daughter." He kissed my cheeks and then my forehead. "Stay safe, be careful and remember to pray." He slipped a medallion over my head and I touched it. It was Saint Agnes.

"This is Momma's." I said touching it.

"She wanted her daughter to have it when she married." He said, tears rimming his eyes. "I couldn't bring myself to give it to you when you married Andrew. Now is the best time. Both your Mother and Saint Agnes will keep you safe on this part of your life."

"Oh Papa." I said and flung my arms around him. Tears leaked from my eyes and sank into his shoulder.

"Don't forget to write to us." Aggie said as she tugged on my dress. I hugged each child tightly, kissing them on both and then hugged the rest of my family.

"We'll watch Lucan for you while you're away." Samuel said wrapping his arm around the dog's head. Lucan licked his face and looked at me with almost a smile.

"I know you will." I said kissing his curly hairs again and then the dog's head. I climbed into the carriage and just as the door was about to close Lucan barked and jumped into the carriage. Coal attempted to get in too but was too awkward and fell backwards. Elly barked and Coal's ears dropped and he went to her side. We all smiled as we watched the small family interact with each other.

"All set Miss?" the driver asked and I sighed.

"Goodbye!" I said hanging out the window.

"We'll miss you!" Aggie shouted, trying to hide the tears.

"Goodbye!" they all called back. I hung out the window waving until I could no longer see the house anymore. And when they were gone I burst into tears.

I cried for half the journey and slept for the other half. Ceecee sat quietly doing her stitching as I stroked Lucan's head and sobbed into a damp handkerchief. When we pulled up to Maria's house it was hours past sundown and we were all exhausted. The light shone brightly from Maria's house and the door opened in an instant.

"You're late." She said coming out of the house in a pale green dress with a white handkerchief in her hand. "We were expecting you hours ago." She said and then took in our clothes and sighed.

"We got off to a late start my lady." The driver said giving us a look of annoyance.

"It's a good thing you're tutor wont be here till tomorrow." Maria said with an annoyed tone. Then she sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "Its wonderful to have you back Susanna."

"It's wonderful to be here." I said and then noticed that Spencer was missing.

"Where is he?"

"He fell hunting last week and broke his leg. I'm afraid he can't walk for a while so he is sulking in the parlor reading one of his dog books." I headed for the door without even thinking of waiting for the invitation in. I walked straight through the house and found the darling old man asleep on the chair, his glasses falling off his face and his leg bound tightly, and resting on a crimson pillow.

"Isn't he just the image of perfection?" Maria teased and I smiled at her.

"Don't worry you're highness. I'll get these cases for you." Ceecee grumbled as she struggled to carry the case down the hallway.

"Oh good and Ceecee while you're at it can you look out my night gown? The white one with pink flowers?" I said. She stopped and stared at me as if I had called her the worse name in the English dictionary. "I'm kidding darling. Of course I'm coming to help." She nodded with an amused expression and disappeared into my old room.

"So what has changed since I have been away?" I linked arms with her as we walked back to the carriage.

"Well Spencer has a new dog. Hubert." She said pointing to the puppy that was passed out on top of a chewed slipper.

"He's adorable." I said smiling.

"Yes, its wonderful to find your best riding gloves soaked in urine." She muttered but couldn't help the smile that spread on her face. "We also built a guest house where your tutor and Cecily will sleep."

"A guest house?" I said shocked. "Where?"

"Where…well…where the tree used to be." She said as she picked up a large sack.

"Ah, I see."

"We wanted something positive to go there." She said as we entered the house. "Something that didn't remind us of that day. But every time I look at it I remember that stupid tree. And everything inside is blue, so I guess we failed at our goal." She sighed and placed the sack on the bed.

"I'm sure they will love it." I said smiling at her. Together we unpacked my clothes and I helped Ceecee unpack her clothes in the small guesthouse that had two bedrooms and a sitting room with a fireplace. By the time we were done it was well past midnight and we were exhausted. We all exchanged good nights and headed off to bed.

The next morning I awoke to a sharp knock on the door and Lucan's loud barking. I grumbled as I pushed the covers back and opened the door. It was still dark outside.

"Yes?" I asked blinking at the candlelight that shone in my eyes.

"Yer bath is readay Miss." Eliza said smiling.

"My what? It's early in the morning." I yawned.

"Lady McDonald says that you must bath before your tutor gets here. And she is expected to arrive just after the suns up." Eliza said coming gently ushering me to the bathing room.

"But can't I just sleep for a little bit longer?" I said looking longingly at my closing bedroom door and remembering my warm bed.

"You're bath will get cold and then you might catch a chill and we can't have that now." She said pushing open the bathing room door. I was instantly hit with heat and steam coming from the round metal basin that was full of water.

"Now the waters quite warm so slowly climb in." Eliza said as she placed the candle on a table and helped me out of my nightgown. I dipped one toe into the water and flinched.

"It's scalding." I said and held my arms tightly over my cold chest.

"Its just because you're feet are cold. Come on now." She said gently pushing me into the tub. After 10 minutes of jumping in and out of the tub I finally sat down and Eliza started washing my hair. Being so long and thick it took almost half and hour to wash, rinse and rub scented oils into. But when I was done I smelt like vanilla and was cleaner than a baby.

I was dressed in a thick green wool dress that was tight around the bodice and laid flat to the ground. I put on wool stockings and black winter boots and Eliza put my hair up in a thick round bun. I knew my tutor had arrived based on the sound of all the dogs barking. Eliza gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and I stood up and went to the door.

"Its so good of you to come here, to help Susanna with her lessons." I heard Maria saying. I pressed my hands down the dress, took a deep breath and walked to the door.

"Yes well, my duty is to the king and he asked me to complete this task." Her voice was chilling and I instantly got goose bumps.

"Miss?" Eliza asked when I stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Ah Susanna. Come meet you're tutor, Lady Regan Meducci." Maria said holding out a hand to me. I smiled slightly and curtsied.

"Ah I see that will be one of the firs things we work on." Lady Regan said turning her nose up. "At least you look presentable." She said walking towards me and slowly walking around me. "Yes the oils you chose are lovely but you are much too thin."

"It's the pressure of her wedding." Maria laughed. "You know how stressful they can be."

"My wedding was planned when I was a suckling babe. All I had to do was show up." Lady Regan said. With her long bony fingers she grabbed my chin and looked into my eyes. "We have a lot of work to do Susanna and only 5 months to do it in. Are you prepared to put in the effort?"

"Y-Y-Yes." I stuttered and realized that I was shaking under her intense stare.

"Good." She let my chin go and turned back to Maria. "Now when's breakfast?" Maria fluttered about in a panic as I rubbed my chin and watched my new tutor walk down the hall towards the dinning room for a meal.

"Nice woman huh?" Ceecee said appearing at my side.

"Just wonderful. Especially when she grabs your face." I grabbed Ceecee's chin and stood on my tiptoes. "Now listen here. We have a lot of work to do!" I said in a high pitched voice. Ceecee burst out in laughter and I let go smiling.

"Ugh I thought she was horrible when we met at the vacation house, but I didn't know she was going to be this horrible." I said as we very slowly walked to the dinning room.

"Just wait. You're lessons haven't even started yet."

"You have got to be the laziest girl I have ever met!" Lady Regan shouted at me again. "Stand up straighter Susanna, hold your stomach in and at least look a little bit confident." She snapped and as I sucked in my stomach the books on my head tumbled to the ground around me. I heard her sigh with frustration and Ceecee sniggered somewhere behind me.

"It was the wind." I said feeling the slight breeze rush against my face. There were storm clouds in the distance and I was begging them to hurry up so my lessons would be finished.

"Don't take me for a fool child. If you had learned to stand straight you wouldn't have this problem." She said pushing and pulling me into proper standing position.

"Well you know we peasants don't have the luxuries that others do." I snapped as she slammed a book onto my head.

"I didn't know proper posture was a luxury." She said defeating me. I bit my tongue as she added two more books to my head. "Now slowly walk."

I took a step from the patio stones onto the soggy grass and felt the books wobble. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists and carefully walked to the fountain and back without dropping the books. I opened my eyes and smiled as Ceecee clapped.

"Now if only you could walk without looking like someone shoved an apple up your backside and without taking almost 20 minutes." She said turning me around. I guess God had enough of her torture for a loud rumble filled the air and I heard small splatter sounds hit the books.

"It's raining!" Ceecee shouted gathering the clothes she was mending and racing inside. Lucan barked excitedly and followed her and Lady Regan sighed. She gathered the books and the two of us locked the doors behind us just as the rain poured from the sky.

"I guess that's all we can practice today." I said untying the laces on my boots and taking off my coat.

"Not so fast. We haven't gotten to table manners yet." Lady Regan said taking off her own coat and passing it to Stewart without even acknowledging that he was there. I sighed and nodded a thank you to him before racing after her into the dinning room.

There was one place setting set up at the far end of the table. Lady Regan looked at me expectantly and I sighed before going and sitting in the chair.

"Now the proper table behaviour is small bites and small movements. You are a lady not an animal so one must eat as such." She placed a bowl of hot water in front of me and stood beside my seat without saying anything.

"What do I do with it?"
"Eat it." She said with a frustrated sigh.

"But it's water." I said studying the bowl.

"I wasn't going to have the girl make you a four course meal! Now eat." She snapped and I jumped. I looked at the rows of cutlery and grabbed the smaller of the spoons. "Wrong!" She said smacking the top of my head with a wooden spoon.

"Ouch!" I said rubbing my head. "Why did you hit me?"

"To see if it would make an impact." She took the end of the wooden spoon and thrust it at my spoon. "That spoon is for TEA! A large piece of beef would never fit on a spoon of that size! Use your brain girl." I placed the spoon down and bit my tongue. I was shaking from anger but I knew I could not unleash it. I picked up the bigger spoon and dipped it into the water. I bent my head down to take a sip and felt another slap on my head.

"Wrong again." She said and I slammed the fork down.

"You know what! I have had enough of you! I don't want to marry him if it means suffering through one more minute with you!" I shouted and stormed out of the dinning room. I grabbed my coat, slipped on my boots without tying them and raced out into the rain. I was vaguely aware of someone calling out my name but I ignored them and raced through the forest. It was pouring as I walked through the woods but I ignored it. It was a cool relief on my hot skin. I stopped when I got to his gravesite. Not because I realized where I was or because I was over come by sadness but because he sat calmly on his headstone and was kicking his feet. When I entered the meadow his head shot up and he smiled.

"You came back!" He said smiling brightly.

"Does this mean I'm going to get sick again?" I asked pushing my soaked hair out of my face."

"No, well not as sick as you were last time. But you'll probably have a cold." Theodore said with an amused expression. "Why are you out here anyways?"

"It's complicated." I said sitting on the gravestone beside him. He looked up at me with his sparkling grey eyes and frowned.

"I can try to understand. I am six after all." He said with a pout. I smiled and shook my head.

"I have to take lessons." I said and he nodded. "And I hate them!"

"I remember what that was like." He said with sigh. "It was horrible. My tutor, Mr. Summers would hit me with his walking stick when I day dreamed, which was almost all the time." He said looking off into the trees. I smiled and studied his hair. It was curly and puffy as if the rain never touched it and his clothes were sturdy and dry. But at the back of his head his hair was darker and I realized that was probably the spot where he had hit his head.

"I couldn't imagine anyone hitting you. You are too sweet." I said smiling at him.

"Who me?" He looked at me offended. "Momma says I was the most troublesome boy she ever met." He said proudly and stood on the top of the gravestone.

"Be careful. " I said instinctively. He smiled down at me and then jumped off as if he were a bird that was about to fly. He landed on the mushy grass and rolled forward.

"Nothing hurts here." He said as he stood up and brushed off his clothes. "I like it here. No horrible vegetables or bed times, or lessons." He said and did a cartwheel.

"Susanna?" I heard my name being called through the trees and Theodore froze. Maria appeared in the meadow just as I hopped off the headstone. Her blonde hair was in strings and all stuck to her brown coat. She let out a sigh of relief as she spotted me and then frowned when she saw the headstone. She took a deep breath and walked towards me. She walked right past Theodore and ignored the brush of his hand as he tried to touch her arm.

"That's the only thing I don't like about being here." He said sadly. "She never sees me." He frowned and walked to his mother's side. He wrapped his baby arms around her neck and kissed her cheek right as a tear rolled down it. As she stood up he let go.

"Well, now that I've found you." She said wiping the tear away and smiling at me. "Lady Regan was not impressed by the way you ran out of there."

"Lady Regan looks like a scarecrow." Theodore said as he climbed back on the headstone and sat cross legged watching us. I smiled briefly and looked away.

"I'm tired of her bossy ways." I said.

"She's only trying to help you."

"Hitting me with a spoon is not going to help me."

"That wont work. I told her that too when Mr. Summers used to hit me."

"Susanna it's a common teaching method that will help you because now you know which answer is right."

"A method based on fear? Who uses that?"

"Every good teacher." Maria said and I looked at Theodore who rolled his eyes. I smiled and looked back at her. She blinked at me and then looked at the headstone. Her face lost all colour and her eyes looked scared.

"Is he…?" She asked her eyes flicking to mine before they looked back at the horrible date carved into stone.

"Do you think she saw me?" He asked brightly looking from me to his mother.

"He's here. And no I don't think she saw you. Only I can see you, for some reason." I said. She inhaled deeply and Theodore sulked.

"What is he saying?" She asked grabbing my hand and clenching it tightly.

"Nothing really. He's sulking." I said and smiled as he stuck his tongue out at me.

"Don't sulk darling. I still see you in my dreams." Maria said to thin air. Theodore smiled at this and looked at me.

"He thinks its funny the way you are talking to the air." I said, repeating his words. She stopped and looked at me. "He also says that I shouldn't go back to my lessons until she gets a new teaching method." I said winking at him and he laughed.

"Well tell him that he's a trouble maker and its too bad you have to go back. You want to marry Adam?"

"Who's Adam?" Theodore asked looking bored.

"The king." I answered to him. "And yes I want to marry him."

"Well then, you must continue your lessons. This is the price you have to pay for happiness."

"You're marrying the king!" He said standing up. He bowed and his curls tumbled forward. "You're highness it is so nice to meet you." I laughed and swatted at him.

"Stop it. I'm not married to him yet." I said and then looked at Maria who was watching me with a curious expression.

"Still it'll be fun to be the queen! Don't you think?" Theodore said. "I always dreamed I would be the king one day…the king or a knight." He said pretending to draw his sword. "I would be the bravest night of all, rescuing fair maidens and killing dragons."

"Dragons don't exist."

"They do too." He said right as Maria said, "He'll never listen." I smirked at them and shook my head.

"Alright let's go back. My brave sir, I bid you farewell." I said curtsying to him and he bowed slightly.

"Lady mother, farewell." He said kissing her hand gently before he raced off pretending to be deep in battle.

"He said good bye." I smiled and she shivered.

"Such a rare gift you have. I have never been able to admit it before but I am jealous."

"It is a new gift that I am still getting used to." I said and we linked arms as we walked back to the house.

"Maybe though, you should keep that gift a secret." Maria said.

"Lady Regan would be the last person I told anything too." I said with a laugh.

"I meant to Adam or Ceecee." She said with a thoughtful expression. "Some people don't know how to handle gifts like yours. And I would hate for something to happen to you."

"You are the only person I have told." I said with a smile and she squeezed my hand.

"Good. Now have patience with Lady Regan. I'm sure we will see results soon. After all it is your first day." She said and I groaned at the thought of 5 more months spending each day under Lady Regan's horrible watch.