CHAPTER 28

A/N: WARNING! This is a very much build-up chapter.. which makes me not so sure if it's any good. BUT I hope you find it interesting enough.. and, well. yeah, the next chapter will be good:) It will be with the Marauder's holiday prank and all of that.. I think I have at least one surprise in this chapter.. but you have been warned.. it's a build-up chapter! Hopefully you like it!

disclaimer: don't own it.


Margaret sighed. It had been a couple of days since Dorcas' "breakdown" in the classroom, but already everyone at school knew. At least there weren't many there; it was vacation after all. Still, she wished people (mainly girls) would stop whispering and sending her disdainful looks whenever she passed them in the hallways. Some younger girls (Margaret didn't know them) had come up to her twice already, telling her she was an awful human being for what she did to Dorcas. Remus had it worse though; she knew. He looked so guilty and so sad about the whole thing that she couldn't help but feel horrible for him. He was looking very fatigued these days too, but he'd told her he just had a cold. She hoped he wasn't letting peoples comments get under his skin.

Dorcas, on the other hand, seemed to be coping rather well. She didn't look nearly as heart-broken as she had been only three days ago. She'd started ignoring Margaret though.. but Margaret thought it was better than the looks she'd gotten from her before. Yet, the whole incident in the classroom couldn't all have been an act for sympathy and hate. Margaret knew Dorcas still hurt.. and she understood her. She'd seen her staring at Remus when she thought nobody was looking, and she'd seen her taking sharp intakes of breath whenever he looked in the direction she was standing. Obviously she wasn't as over Remus as she played out to be. But that wasn't the point. The point was that Margaret understood (which was why she couldn't be angry at Dorcas). She understood because she loved Remus, probably way more than Dorcas ever would, but still, she understood how much pain it must be to loose him. And that was what Dorcas had done.

She walked up to the owlery as she thought. She wanted to send her family a letter. Her mom and dad were going to visit her older brother Benjamin (who was like 27, and had moved there at 24), in France. They'd invited Margaret to come, but she knew her brothers flat wasn't big enough for four, and she did't want her parents to have to check in at an hotel. Besides, she'd see er brother in the summer. They were close, and she missed him, but she could wait.

When she entered the owlery, she found she wasn't alone. James was standing there, tying a letter to the leg of his beautiful owl Evan. Margaret didn't have an owl, and couldn't help but feel a little jealous. It was a light, caramel coloured bird, with a white chest streaked with a couple of darker feather, and a beak that was exceptionally yellow. His eyes were narrow (as if he was constantly on the verge of sleep), but when James stroked him, his eyes would open until they were round, and it would hoot gladly. Also, it was quite large (even for an owl).

"Hi James" She grinned.

He grinned back. "Hey"

"What are you doing up here?"

"Just sending a letter, that's all"

Margaret quirked an eyebrow. "To whom?"

He shuffled his feet, and Margaret couldn't help but giggle when his cheek turned a faint tinge of red (not even mentioning his ears, which were blazing).

"Lily" He mumbled.

"What was that?" she grinned at him mischievously.

He groaned. "You heard me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She mock-pouted. "After all, I'm in charge o the Get-Lily-Expedition"

"Get-Lily-Expedition?" he smirked.

"Don't change the subject"

"It's nothing special" He mumbled, returning to his former, embarrassed self. "Just a.. friend, writing to another friend"

"Yeah, yeah" Margaret grinned, her tone implying she didn't believe him. "I think we should have another lesson"

"Okay?" Said James, looking eager.

"You shouldn't always be available, because she'll take you for granted" she said sternly, then added "oh, but make sure you're there if she needs you"

"I guess I could work on the whole availability thing" James admitted.

"Don't send her any more letters then" She winked "She'll wonder why you aren't answering, and then she'll spend time thinking of you".

"Got it"

"Good"

"I wonder what she'll answer" he said, looking out the window.

Margaret smiled faintly, tying her letter to one of the brown school owls. She thought it amazing how he never lost hope that Lily would fall or him in the end. Sure, he'd falter from time to time, but he always deemed her worth enough to continue.

It was actually quite endearing playing a match-maker. Perhaps she should give Lily a push too? … Figure out who she liked.. or should like?


Marlene groaned. She'd been at home for one day, and already her little sister, Sara, was driving her crazy. She'd nag all the time, but that wasn't the real problem. The real problem was that she insisted to know more about her dad. She didn't realize what it cost Marlene to talk of it. Sara was 9 and had only been 4 when their dad died, and she wanted to know about him constantly. She even had a picture of him on his night-stand, that had all the thing she knew about him listed on the sides. Still, Sara could be nice too, as long as she understood what she wasn't to do.

Right now she was sitting on top of Marlene, who had been sleeping fitfully in her bed. Sara claimed it was time to get up, but it was only 8 o'clock in the morning, and Marlene knew. She had an alarm clock besides her bed

"Get up, get up, get up!" Sara exclaimed.

"Sara" Marlene growled angrily "I'm trying to sleep, and you know I only get up early on Christmas Eve, so back OFF!!"

Her uncontrollable temper was clearly back. She'd just pushed Sara off the bed. Sara didn't get hurt, thankfully (because she would have burst in to tears and Marlene would never have gotten any sleep), but stomped her foot angrily and let the bedroom.

Another two hours of sleep later, her brother Mathew (who was 19), came in the door. Mathew didn't look anything like either Marlene or Sara, which were quite similar, except the fact that Sara had freckles, shorter hair, and a little larger nose. Mathew on the other hand, had light-brown hair, and deep brown eyes. His features were also more sharp, and he was taller then both girls and their mom. He smiled lazily at Marlene, as she sat up in bed.

"Hey sis" he said "what are you giving me for Christmas?"

"Haven't bought anything yet.. but probably something you like" She said, yawning.

"As long as it's something I like it's fine" He said, with the same lazy grin.

Then he walked out the door leaving Marlene to change. They had a pretty big house for a family of three. Marlene's room, for instance, carried a huge bed, open windows that almost covered whole walls, and her own little balcony outside. It was a very open room, as was the rest of the house, with light colours and high ceilings.

Their living room was the best though. It was so high under the roof that when they bought a Christmas tree it was always so big they needed a latter to reach the upper areas. They could, of course, do it by magic.. but where was the fun in that? Besides, Sara demanded they do it the muggle way. She had a huge thing for muggles. They looked so weird from a pure-bloods perspective.


Lily got up early. She put on some red and green stockings, just to get the Christmas feeling, and went down in her PJ's to eat. She'd been at her house a couple of days, and she was feeling absolutely spiffing. Her mom and dad were great (as always), and Petunia ad gotten herself a long-term boyfriend (Vernon Dursley), which she was out with pretty much every day.

She sat down and took a bowl of cereal. She didn't really like the stuff (it got all wet and soddy too fast), but she was too lazy to make anything else. As she sat there she thought James. He'd been on her mind a lot. She wondered if he missed her. She certainly missed him, and it had only been a couple of days. Pathetic.

She got of her stool with some difficulty (it was jammed between two others) and got her self something to drink from the refrigerator, when she heard a tapping noise by the window. She turned around bewildered and found an owl outside. She let the bird in quickly, curious as to who was sending her letters. Margaret and Marlene usually only corresponded with her in the summer; that was when they missed each other most.

"Hi owl" She smiled "You're very pretty.. who's owl are you?"

Naturally the owl could not answer, and so only saw fit to hoot contently, it's eyes wide, as she stoked its feathers.

She unfastened the sting to his foot (she felt sure it was a male) gingerly, and wrapped it open.

To Lily the outside said, in nice cursive writing.

She opened the letter quickly, eager to figure out who could be writing to her. She found she was very pleased. He did miss her.

Hey Lily.

How's my favourite head-girl doing? That's you, by the way. It's only been – what? – three days, and I'm already missing you like crazy. The Head Dorm is a very lonely place without you, you know.

Anyways, I thought I'd just tell you that I'll apparate over and get you the day after Christmas.. so if you don't want your parents to meet me, be ready at your port. Just kidding.

Oh, and I you'd write your address on the letter back, that would be great. I've been around where you live before, I think, but not exactly where you live. I can't find you without it. Or, I probably could, but it's easier this way!

Hope your Christmas is good so far..

Love,

Your favourite unruly haired head-boy (hopefully). Me.

PS! It's James if you didn't get that. I'd be surprised if you didn't, but best not take any chances.

PPS! This is my owl Evan. He'll love you if you stroke his feathers.

PPPS! Sirius says hi.

Lily smiled. She read it over once more and couldn't help but feel a mixture of thrill and disappointment.

Disappointment because he didn't know where she lived.. he had been her stalker for quite a while after all… and because he'd written that she was his favourite head-girl. Was that all she was to him? No. Surely not. He'd invited her to his house after all.

Thrill because he had sent his love, with the words "Love, James". Maybe in a little different setting, but that was the general meaning. Maybe he could wait a little longer for her? If he liked her at all that was!.

She heard a shower turn on upstairs, and realized Petunia would be coming down soon. She frowned. It wouldn't be a pleasant morning.


It was only a couple of days until Christmas when you could see a lonely figure walking alone in the hallways of Hogwarts. Most had at least one friend they could stick with if they weren't at home, but this particular girl had distanced herself from everyone but Emmeline Vance (whom, unfortunately, was with her family in York during Christmas break).

Dorcas huffed slightly as she walked on her own. Quite frankly she was getting tired of the whole charade. She just wanted to have fun with her friends and to get over Remus. But every time she looked at him she just couldn't fathom that they'd never be together again. And how could she forgive the person that caused their break-up?

Sometimes she just wanted comfort; someone to hold and kiss her. Or, basically to fulfil her physical needs while she dealt with the emotional. The best would have been Remus.. she wouldn't have to deal with the emotional needs then. But she was starting to realize that that was unlikely to ever happen. She'd seen the way he looked at Margaret, like she was the only thing he lived for. And they'd only been dating two weeks! She'd seen him look at her too, but with a different expression, like she was some sort of extra weight he carried around. She knew the only reason he looked at her was guilt. She scoffed. That wasn't her problem. He deserved all the guilt he had.

But oh, how she missed him…

Here came the tears again.. Perhaps she was merely self-destructive? Perhaps she was more comfortable with tears and drama, then with laughter? No. It hurt like hell thinking of him, and she couldn't help the way she felt.

She sat own in the middle of the corridors, leaning towards a wall, not bothering or privacy. Nobody was out this close to curfew anyways..

Footsteps could be heard from a hallway nearby, and they were nearing rapidly. It sounded like only one person. Apparently she was wrong about the whole curfew thing. She looked up, wiping away the last of her tears, in hope that the person wouldn't notice.

She was rather surprised when she saw Sirius Black walking towards her, a shifty grin etched permanently in his features.

He was carrying some sort of cloak and a bit of blank parchment. His eyes sparkled mischievously, but the way he walked looked like he was sort of dizzy. Once he spotted her looking at the cloak and stuff, he quickly hid it inside his robes.

"Borrowed it from James" he shrugged, as if that explained everything. "You okay?"

She obviously hadn't fooled him by wiping away the tears. She'd wager it was because her eyes were red, and she kept sniffing her nose. "Great" she said sarcastically. She wondered why he bothered speaking to her. She'd talked to him a couple of times before, and though they had been friendly enough she didn't consider the two of them close, or even real friends for that matter.

He chuckled. "You know.." he paused. "Remus never meant to hurt you"

She rolled her eyes, ignoring the pain. Why did everyone assume she wanted to talk about it? Sure she'd paid Margaret and Remus back by making a scene.. but they'd deserved it. Now all she wanted was or them to break up (so they could feel the pain she felt) and or her to move on.

No talking.

She sighed. "Like that helps anything at all"

"And Margaret.." He continued on, as if he hadn't heard her "she can't help who she falls in love with, and from what I've heard she stepped aside the first time, when you told them you liked Remus, even though she liked him back then too"

Sirius was now trying (and failing miserably) to look superior with all his knowledge. Dorcas paid him no heed.

"Never knew you were so deep" She said, raising her eyebrows.

"I'm not" he said cheerfully.

"Okay" She said, looking at him weirdly.

"Anyways, if there's anything I can do.." he trailed of, but was still grinning from earlier, which made Dorcas wonder if he was kidding with her "you know, if there's anything you need?" the last part was at least a little more serious (she could hear a note of concern in his voice), although the grin was still there.

As he said it, Dorcas realized there was something she needed. Hadn't she said (or at least thought to herself) that she needed comfort.. that she missed someone kissing and holding her.. that she needed it to be able to concentrate fully on her emotional baggage? Yes. She had said that. And there he was, the schools best kisser (according to the rumours), whom also did whatever with whichever girl he found in the hallways. Here he was, ready made.

They could be – what did you call it? – friends with benefits. He could satisfy her physical needs while she dealt with the emotional. And once she was over Remus, they could stop.

"Actually.." she said "there is something.." she trailed off nervously. This wasn't exactly something fun to ask.

"Yeah?" he grinned, looking clueless.

He was acting very strangely, and she was starting to wonder if he perhaps had gotten a hold of some firewhisky somewhere. He certainly didn't look as sober as she wanted him to be.

"Could you.." she hesitated "kiss me?"

He looked at her perplexed. "Why?"

"I mean.. not just this once. Like if we could be.. friends with benefits?" she looked at him pleadingly. "I just need the comfort.. and only until I get over Remus"

He stared at her for a while, before the same grin she'd seen throughout the conversation etched its way over his features. "That's what I'm best at"

Then he stopped, and a look of astonishment spread over his face. He staggered a little. "I'm not so sure anymore.." he said. He'd just told her two seconds ago it was fine, and so, naturally, Dorcas was a little perplexed.

"What's up?"

"I just.. I never realized.. this wasn't going to happen to me" he blabbered. Dorcas wondered how much he'd been drinking.

"Please?" She said "Will you please do this or me?"

He leaned towards the wall, thinking. After a while he nodded, still looking astonished, but like he'd at least gotten a grip on himself. "One rule" was all he said "we don't involve any emotions and stuff"

She nodded.

He continued on, and Dorcas thought he felt like he needed to explain why. She was right. "I fancy someone you see". Now she realized why he'd been shocked. Sirius Black never fell in love. He was the ultimate player. He hadn't ever fancied anyone all his life. "But.. if I ever get her, then this thingy has to stop" he said, pointing first at her, then at him, indicating their newfound deal.

She nodded again, but couldn't help but ask. "Who is it? I thought everyone fancied you?"

"Nope" he said, popping the p. "Not her.. she's different"

"Who?" she pressed, and was surprised to see him actually confide in her.

"Marlene McKinnon."

When Dorcas went to bed that night, she knew one thing for sure, and that was that Sirius had indeed been drinking firewhisky. She only hoped he'd remember their deal in the morning.


A/N: Soo.. what do you think? Please tell me?:)

PS! I promise the next chapter will be better.. I'm not overly happy with this one, but I think it was nessecary.

REVIEW!? PLEASE?

~AddictedToPotterAndProudOfIt