That's What she Said, Shamed Men and Family Portraits
Jacob POV
HAPPY MONDAY MY KIDDIES. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED YOUR WEEKEND CAUSE I KNOW I DID. LET'S SEE...ANY UPDATES? NOPE.
THIS IS MY FAVORTIE CHAPTER. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY...
It all belongs to SM.
Now I knew why fathers got so fucking scared when their children were on the way.
It was currently the end of January and Nessie took it upon herself to make baby proofing the house a family project. There were no excuses and no one could get out of it. We were all assigned a room in the house and Nessie was the grand inspector meaning that she yelled at us for not doing things right but she called it inspecting.
Lately, Wal-Mart had become my own personal hell. I don't know why a small ass town like Forks needed a Wal-Mart but it was here and I spent more time shopping for baby proofing stuff than I did at my own house.
"Jake, pay attention. If we go back with the wrong thing again, Nessie might actually kill us." Seth complained as we browsed the baby aisle looking for the plugs to cover the wall outlets.
"I don't know what she thinks these things will do. She already had her fingers in the outlets at two weeks old."
"She wants to be safe and you need to pay attention." He scolded.
Of course I zoned back out immediately and thought about more pressing matters.
Christmas was a fucking nightmare and I cringed every time I even thought about that day. I thought we could at least go one holiday without having some drama or someone yelling but that was screwed up when those Romanians showed up on our doorstep. My mind flashed back through time when they came to help us with the Volturi situation. I didn't like them then and I sure as hell didn't like them now especially with my pregnant wife out on display. This was exactly what I was worried about. I didn't want the vampire community knowing about the twins because that would raise questions and people would start demanding answers that I wasn't prepared to give.
Luckily, Edward's mind was working as fast as ever and he had Nessie in her old room before I could even think about it. Doc, always the polite host, invited the three Romanians in and asked them to stay. For some reason they only spoke in Russian, but Nessie had taught me enough that I could keep up with what was going on.
They claimed that they were showing their new coven member around but I called that bullshit of an excuse because it didn't sit right with me. I had everyone on high alert and I wasn't letting any of them out of my sight because I knew the Romanians were sneaky. They were fascinated with Nessie when she was a baby and I knew they would be dying to get a look at her now. The leader, Vladimir, asked where she was but I told him to drop it so he did.
Edward suggested that those of us who could should go hunting and I eagerly agreed. I wanted our new guests as far away form Nessie as possible. I made Seth stay behind to watch her and Bella wanted to stay as well but everyone else who wasn't a human, took off into the forests. The Romanians complained that they had to go vegetarian but Doc wouldn't let them hunt humans if they were staying so they reluctantly took down a couple of moose or something.
I took my eyes off of them for one minute and three Romanians turned into two. I didn't think anything of it because I figured the one that left was with the other half of the group. But when we headed back, I could tell something was wrong. Seth wasn't doing his job and that Russian fucker got up to Nessie's room. I was furious to say the least and it took all I had to not phase and rip his head off. I spent the better part of an hour ramming his head against the wall but that didn't get us anywhere. Eventually, he and his coven just left but I was still pissed as hell.
I made sure the wolves were on full duty from then on because I wasn't letting those Romanians come anywhere near Nessie again. Things died down after New Year's but I still wasn't taking any chances and always kept my eyes open.
I didn't get much sleep any more and was lucky if I could pull off three hours a night. Part of the reason was because I was stressed about that babies but the other was because of the horrible nightmares that plagued me every time I shut my eyes. After the first one on Christmas Eve, I couldn't keep the horrible images out of my head and they only got worse.
Now, instead of Nessie being the only causality in my dreams I had there was more. Some of the dreams where about a baby dying or both babies and my reaction was always the same. I couldn't take it and went downstairs to drink any form of alcohol that I could find. I hid it from Nessie because I didn't want her freaking out again but I knew she knew about my nightcaps. I had to have something to take the images away and even though I was never drunk, the slight buzz allowed me to breathe a little.
I hated the nights because just the thought of Nessie or one of my children dying was enough to cause me to go to a very bad place in my mind. I had dreams where I would be so happy with Nessie in the hospital and then everything would turn a monotonous gray. That was when the dreams turned bad. The first night after Christmas, I dreamt that Peanut didn't make it thought the delivery and that nearly killed me. The next night, it was Monkey and the cycle continued until I was replaying a cycle of death in my head 24\7.
I never told Nessie about my dreams because she didn't need to stress and that might make her go crazy if she saw the images I did. Edward was the only one I could talk to because he knew how my mind worked since he was always in it but I didn't mind. I needed someone to know what was happening to me and he was always there to tell me that nothing like that would happen and I had to believe him because I wouldn't let any of that come true.
"Jake, your phone's ringing." Seth said as he compared two packages of baby things.
"Shit." I quickly fumbled in my pocket until I found it, "Hello." I answered.
"Hello my sweet." Nessie replied nicely, which scared me since she was Devil Nessie when I left, "I was wondering if you could bring me back some ice cream."
"Of course. Which flavor?" I chuckled. I knew there was a reason for her sweetness.
"Oreo please. How's the shopping coming?"
Before I could answer, Seth took the phone, "Nessie, he isn't paying attention. I'm trying to get him to but he won't."
Suck up.
"Yeah, here he is." Seth handed me back the phone.
"Hello?"
"Jacob, this is serious. We can't have our children getting electrocuted or hitting their heads on sharp edges."
"They'll have hard skin anyway so what's the point?" I grumbled so she couldn't hear me.
"What was that?" She asked.
"Nothing. Oreo ice cream you said?"
"Yes please and bring back that play thing I ordered. They should have it in the back. Bye."
Seth and I spent another half hour in the baby section picking up those things for the end of the tables and plugs for the outlets. Let's hope these were the right ones this time. We trekked off to pick up some deluxe playpen that Nessie ordered online and the store was holding for me. The lady behind the counter thought I was crazy when I paid three hundred dollars for something my kids would probably outgrow in a year if they were human, within weeks if they were like Nessie.
"What about the ice cream Jake?" Seth asked when we were in line paying for our items.
I rushed to get Nessie her Oreo ice cream and then stopped to get a jar of mustard just in case we ran out at the house. I couldn't remember.
"Who's putting this thing together?" Seth asked as we loaded all our bags into the back of the Escalade.
"I don't know. Probably you and me." I shrugged.
"These babies aren't mine you know." He laughed and got in his seat.
"Might as well be. Besides giving up your sperm, I feel like you're practically their father."
"Me too."
"Let's hope Devil Nessie went back into hiding." I crossed my fingers as I drove down the road.
As I drove home, I looked over at Seth who was staring out of the window. Ever since Christmas, he'd been acting strange. I didn't know how else to describe it but he didn't seem like himself. To anyone who knew him on the surface, he was his normal happy-go-lucky self but I knew the real Seth was hurting for some reason and I couldn't figure out why.
We got to the house and went inside where everyone was going insane. Alice, Rose, Bella and Andrea were planning Nessie and Rachel's showers. The wolves were taking down the expensive things off of the high counters and bookcases. Emmett and Jasper were doing something upstairs and I didn't even want to think about what that was. Edward was wrapping the piano up and Esme was making diner.
What the hell are all these people doing in my house?
They were acting like the twins were going to be here tomorrow. We still had two more months.
When Nessie saw me, she waddled over to look through the bags. Her face feel when she didn't see the ice cream but she didn't say anything until I held it up, "And I got mustard."
She kissed me gently, "Thank you. We ran out this morning."
I knew it.
"What the hell's going on?" I asked as I put the bags down and Seth went over to help Zack move the TV. For what, I don't know.
"We're baby proofing." She shrugged.
"I know that but do we need all these people? We don't have to do much."
"Uh, you'd be doing this all by yourself so you better be lucky we have all these people." She said, "We can't have open electrical sockets and sharp edges when the kids start crawling around." She muttered before heading into the kitchen.
"That takes one day tops." I said back.
"Also, we have to get all the knives and scissors where they can't reach them. And matches, medicine bottles, detergents, stuff like that. There's a lot to do Jacob, get on board." She shook her head and dug into her ice cream.
I was stunned at how much I neglected to do over the past months and was secretly thankful for everyone who was taking a giant burden off of my shoulders.
"That's why we're here slacker." Edward answered from somewhere in the house.
I rolled my eyes and went into the living room so I could put the playpen together.
How hard could it be?
An hour later, the directions were almost ripped to shreds and I had no idea what the hell was going on. I could have been reading German for all I knew and it would have made as much sense as the English instructions. There were so many pieces and numbers and letters and I was swamped. I begrudgingly called Seth over to help but even with him, we couldn't do it.
"No, no. This goes there." Embry snatched a piece out of my hand and tried to force it into a place where it obviously wasn't supposed to go.
"Yeah right. It goes here." Zack took it back and I didn't even let him try to put it where he suggested because that was definitely not right.
"Ok, let's just start from the beginning. We can wipe the slate clean." Carlisle said and we took everything apart.
"Lay it all out." Edward commanded and we followed his lead.
"Now we can begin. This isn't that hard people." Jasper rolled his eyes.
Another hour later, the thing still wasn't put together and we were actually fighting over it. Nessie took the directions and started reading them out loud.
"Put rod B into slot Z." She said from the couch.
"That's what she said." Emmett rolled on the floor. He had been totally counter productive and that was all he responded with for the whole time the rest of us were slaving away.
Edward kicked him in the groin and made him focus, "We have to finish this and you're not helping." He growled.
"This shouldn't be this hard. I went through two hundred years of med school." Doc tapped his chin, "Maybe we need to work backwards."
"You tried that." Nessie said from the couch as she licked her spoon clean of ice cream, which was very erotic but I couldn't think about that now.
"You want to do this?" Embry snapped.
"Hey, take it down." I shouted back at him. No one talked to Nessie that way. I don't care who it was.
"Sorry, this thing is driving me crazy." He pulled at his hair.
"Let's try again. Nessie, tell us where this piece goes." Zack held up some contraption.
"That one goes…into hole C." She responded.
"That's what she said." Emmett laughed and we all snarled at him, "I'm sorry but I can't help it. You guys are setting me up every time."
"Get out." Doc pointed to the door sternly.
"No, I promise I'll be good." He held up his hands.
Half an hour and twenty "That's what she said later", Emmett was dragged out of the house by Esme who was screaming at him for being inappropriate and asking herself where she had gone wrong.
"This thing is useless. Do we even need it?" I looked at the box.
"Yes. The babies need something to play in." Nessie said.
"What is the outdoors for?" Jasper grumbled.
"For dangerousness. I won't have my kids…cliff diving and motorcycling through the woods." She responded in shock.
"So basically, everything you used to do is off limits." I raised an eyebrow at her.
"I like that rule. If I did it then the twins can't. That eliminates the sex talk and all the other crap that comes with kids." She beamed.
"That's not how it works sweetheart." Edward laughed.
"I can dream."
"This is hopeless." Zack looked like he was about to cry.
"Men are useless. Get out of the way." Rose nearly threw us all out of the room and along with Bella's help, had the damn playpen up in ten minutes.
"They cheated. That's they only way to say it." Jasper shrugged as all the men stood around the stupid thing.
"I think it was their boobs. They have like two extra arms." Seth squinted at Bella.
"Or it's the fact that no one figured to actually follow the directions." Bella said back.
"I don't believe you." Edward retaliated, "Tell me what you did."
"Nope. Just be lucky that you all have women to do your dirty work." She laughed manically as she went into the kitchen.
We all stood around like shamed men and no one really knew what to say. There was nothing too say. Nessie just shook her head on the couch and gave us all a sad look.
"Well damn." Jasper was the first one brave enough to break the silence.
"We shouldn't speak of this to anyone…especially Emmett." Doc suggested and we all nodded vigorously.
After eating dinner and cleaning up, everyone went home after a long day of baby proofing. According to Nessie, the house still wasn't done but at least we had some stuff out of they way.
"What should we do with the babies tonight?" She asked as we both got in bed.
Every night, Nessie would put her hand on her stomach and push the twins anything we wanted. Sometimes we read to them and other times we showed them pictures or memories. It was amazing at how smart they were already. They would answer my questions with kicks and would always complain when we said it was time for bed and stopped showing them things. I couldn't even believe that my babies could hear and understand me but they could and it was obvious that they were going to follow Nessie in the developed brain department.
Edward still couldn't hear their thoughts and we still couldn't see them on the ultrasound but there was no denying that they could understand us. I was anxious to see what they would be like when they got here and I couldn't even begin to guess at what they would be like.
"Should we show them our day?" I suggested.
"No, I wouldn't want them ashamed of their father who couldn't put together a simple playpen." She laughed.
"I told you not to talk about that." I said seriously.
"I know you would have done it if everyone else wasn't there to distract you." She said in a baby voice and kissed me shortly.
"Thank you for the ego boost." I chuckled against her lips.
"I don't want to read tonight. Let's show them the family portrait so that they'll know who the family is."
"Ok." I got off the bed and got the framed picture of the family that we took last Christmas. I crouched down in front of her on the bed and she put her hands on her stomach.
"Ok, so first off we have me and your daddy." She said and I pointed to us, "This isn't a very good picture of me because my hair wouldn't corporate…"
"It looks fine." I rolled my eyes.
"If you say so. Who's next? There's grandma and grandpa." She continued and I pointed to Bella and Edward.
"Then there's Emmett but I don't want you two hanging around him. He's the one whose been saying all those bad words and I swear if you guys come out cursing, I'll kill him." I said.
We continued this for another hour before Nessie got too tried to stay up. I put the picture away and then climbed in bed next to her. I knew I shouldn't have closed my eyes but I was so tired and I wanted at least a couple hours of sleep. As soon as my dreams took over, I was transported back to the horrid hospital.
I don't know how long I dreamed but I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up sweating and panting like I had just been in a marathon. I got out of bed without waking Nessie and quietly went to the bathroom where I downed a whole bottle of water before splashing some on my face.
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a strange man staring back. There were purple bags under my eyes, which were hard to see since my complexion was so dark but they were there. I could tell. My face looked thinner and I could see the red in my eyes from the lack of sleep.
"What the hell is going on with me?" I asked myself.
I went downstairs after I gained control of my breathing and went to the wine cellar in the basement where I kept a couple bottles of anything for these occasions. I went back to the kitchen so I could pour myself a tall glass of amber bourbon and devoured a good amount before pouring another glass.
"Why won't you tell me what's going on?" I heard Nessie whisper from behind me.
I didn't want to turn around so she wouldn't see how pathetic I looked, "You don't need to know. Go back to bed."
"No. Not until you tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me Jacob." I felt her cool hand running up and down my shirtless back and I was immediately soothed.
"They're just dreams. I can handle them."
"Please tell me." She pleaded.
I didn't want to but I knew I couldn't keep things from her and we sat at the table while I retold anything I remembered about my dreams from the last month. She didn't seem to care about them because she stood firm that none of that was going to happen but I knew she was just as scared as I was.
I told her about the one I had tonight, which was strange because there were three babies in this one. I didn't know why that was but it didn't matter because the extra baby died anyway. I didn't even know what happened but one minute he was there and then the next, he wasn't. I think the dream skipped some time and then I was standing in front of a headstone but I couldn't read the name.
"That's so sad. Is that what all your dreams are like?" She asked.
"Mostly. Someone always dies." I said with a broken voice, "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to any one of you."
"Nothing will. We're going to be ok. Grandpa knows what he's doing." She said sweetly.
"I know but I can't help worrying."
"Come back to bed." She tried to get me to get up but I didn't budge.
"I have to go to work in a couple hours. I might as well just stay up."
"Are you sure? You look really exhausted."
"I'm fine. Go get your rest." I got up from the table so I could kiss her again and she slowly left me to think.
None of this made any sense but I couldn't dwell on any of it if I wanted to keep my sanity. I had to pray that nothing bad would happen because I was stuck if something went wrong. Normally in these situations, if there was some reason that Nessie was taken from me, I knew what I would do. Hell, I'd done it before. If she was gone then so was I. But things were different now. If she had complications during the delivery and didn't make it, I couldn't follow her. I had children to think about and I wasn't going to leave them without a father.
"It's all going to be ok." I said to myself and pushed up from the table to get ready for work.
I dressed quickly and kissed Nessie and the babies without waking her before heading to the garage. I was the first one there as usual and unlocked everything to get ready for the day. I was in my office when Seth arrived and then Andrea along with Embry came next.
"How was your night?" Andrea asked as she handed me a giant cup of coffee before giving Embry and Seth theirs, "You're not getting enough sleep Mr. Black."
"I try but I can't seem to keep my eyes shut for ten minutes." I played it off like it was a joke. None of them knew what I was going through and I wanted to keep it that way. I don't know how I kept the dreams out of my thoughts while phased but I did and I was glad no one suspected anything.
"What's on the agenda today?" Seth asked and stretched. It looked like he hadn't been getting much sleep either. I would have to talk to him about that.
We spent the day doing the normal routine and I begged Nessie to stay home with my lunch because I didn't want her driving. January was one of the worst months because it brought wind and snow. I didn't want her in that weather. She tried to argue with me but I wouldn't allow it. I had Emmett and Jasper go over there to make sure she stayed put. I knew she would be mad at me when I got home but I was ok with that as long as she didn't get hurt.
I sat at my desk at the end of the day when my phone rang, "Yes Brittany. What is it?" I hit the speak phone button.
"I have some woman here who says she knows you but I've never seen her before."
"What's her name?"
"Leah Clearwater. She says she's Seth's sister but you told me to not let anyone…"
"That's ok. Send her up." I ended the call.
Shit.
What the hell was she doing here? I didn't have time to deal with whatever bullshit she was trying to sell and I hoped that this wasn't some plea to get me to like her again because I really didn't care for her at all.
She knocked on my door a couple minutes later.
"Come in." I said and she pushed the door open.
"Hey Jake." She said quietly as she walked in. She seemed nicer than normal, but I knew she wanted something. She only acted cordial when we were alone anyway. "Nice place you got here."
"Thanks. I haven't seen you since…."
"Summer. After that whole bar thing."
"Oh yeah." I said, not trying to remember that particular incident.
"Yeah." She replied awkwardly.
"Is there anything you needed?" I asked wanting to get this conversation going so she could leave.
"Mom told me that you and Nessie are having a baby." She said.
"Twins actually."
"Congratulations." Her words were nice but it looked like she was about to vomit. I had an internal laugh at that.
"Thank you. Can I help you?" I prompted.
"I need a job." She got to the point.
"I thought you were at the bar and what was the point of going to college if you don't use your major."
"The bar doesn't pay me but minimum wage and I went to college to get away from this place. I majored in nutrition because school was free with my scholarship. I never planned on getting a job. What the hell do you expect me to do?"
"So you wasted all that money and time to get away from here?"
"Yeah and now I'm screwed. Seth said…"
"Seth said?"
"He thought you might be able to help me out."
"Why should I? You dug this ditch so you can get out of it." I said coldly.
"Please don't be like that Jacob."
"I just don't understand you Leah. What the hell did you think you were going to do with your life? You don't like it here and you obviously didn't care about you future so why should I care?"
This is what I hated. People on the rez didn't take the future seriously. They didn't plan for what they wanted to do and that was how a lot of people ended up broke and bored, with nothing to do but sit at home. Leah was obviously one of those people but I thought she would make it since she left.
"I tried Jacob. I really did."
"Bullshit."
"We all didn't have it as easy as you did." She sneered.
"I worked my ass off. Don't start with me Leah."
"You worked your ass off after getting all the money in the world from the those fuc…"
"Watch your mouth Leah." I interrupted, "That's my family and you will respect them." I commanded.
"They gave you everything you wanted and I thought you were coming back here to help change things."
Damn it. She was right.
I let out a deep breath and then dug through my desk until I came to a manila folder. I handed it to her.
"What's this?" She asked as she rolled it in her hands.
"My plans for a community center on the rez. I want you to head everything. Construction, hiring, promotion and everything else that comes along with it."
Yeah right. I was going to be watching her like a hawk and I might even put Colin or Brady on this project. This was just a test.
"Are you sure? A community center?" She asked in disbelief.
"Yeah." I replied dryly, "You know how when we were growing up and there was no where for us to go after school? I want kids to have something productive to do besides…."
"Hanging out and getting into trouble?"
"Yeah. I want you to head the project."
"Wow, thank you Jacob. This is…too much but thank you." She got up to hug me but I held up my hand.
"That's fine Leah. Don't screw this up. Ask Brittany at the front desk for your employee information." I said and went back to my work.
She seemed to think that the tension was her cue to leave and thankfully left without another word. I might have been a complete asshole but I didn't really even want to see her more than I had to. I knew this was a bad idea but I had to give her a chance. She was trying to better herself and for that, I had to give her credit but if she screws this up then the little sympathy I have left for her will have dried up. No excuses with this one Leah.
I called Colin and made him come up to my office so we could chat about the community center project. His job was to mainly watch Leah and then get back to me with things she was doing. I knew I shouldn't be micromanaging her but I had to make sure she was doing this right. This was a project with my name on it and I wasn't going to be embarrassed. I also called him up to my office so that he and Seth could start working on the remolding of the school on the rez. That was an issue that they were going to have to take up with Esme because I knew absolutely nothing about building structures but luckily, that was her forte.
The next step was to convince Nessie that it was ok to have Leah working for me. That didn't go over so well and she spent about an hour bitching me out over the phone. Nothing I said calmed her down but I understood where she was coming from so I didn't get offended at what she was saying.
Between the babies, my new projects and…Leah, it was bound to be a rough next couple of months.
HOLY IMMATURE EMMETT BATMAN
I SWEAR TO YOU THAT EMMETT IN THIS CHAPTER IS JUST LIKE MY BROTHER. ACTUALLY IN THIS WHOLE STORY, EMMETT IS MY BROTHER.
SO...HOW DID WE LIKE? THERE WILL BE MORE TO COME AND I SWEAR IT WONT BE ALL PEACHES AND ROSES. I JUST WROTE A CHAPTER LAST NIGHT THAT WILL LEAVE YOU IN TEARS. THATS ALL I WILL SAY. I KNOW YOU NOSY BASTARDS WANT TO KNOW MORE BUT I CANT SAY.
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I THINK WE MIGHT ACTUALLY REACH 1000 THIS WEEK AND IF WE DO, I MIGHT JUST SEND EVERYONE A COOKIE. I WILL FIND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND SEND YOU A COOKIE. I SWEAR I WILL.
