She sat at the cafeteria wondering where he was. She had not seen him all day long.

She suddenly felt his hand on her back and then saw him slide into the seat next to her.

She smiled happily and her hands went to touch his cheeks that were red from the cold.

"You were out sneaking a smoke" she scoffed.

"Uhm. I don't know what you're talking about?" he played stupid glancing around, the whole charade making her lips curl into a smile.

"You know what? You did not once smoke the whole weekend while you were with me, so don't tell me you're addicted" she scolded him pointing a finger in his face.

He looked at her, the intense gaze of his blue eyes silencing her as a small smirk grew on his face.

"Well, I had other things to keep my mind occupied during the weekend" he whispered seductively, his eyes focusing on her lips.

She blushed glancing around and he snickered at her apparent worry about people.

"Why are you so uptight?" he smirked.

"I am not uptight" she lowered her voice to a whisper nervously "I just don't want the whole school to know about our ... you know"

"Our sex lives?" he offered nodding, smirk in place.

She blushed again sighing.

"Yes" she hissed.

"I think it's safe to say everyone knows, Rory" he replied, licking his lips.

"Wh-why... would they know?" she shrugged her shoulders trying to brush the possibility off.

"Well, for starters, it's me" he stated while she rolled her eyes "I'm not exactly known for my chastity. Second, they see the way you look at me" he smirked again.

She scoffed.

"Okay, how do I look at you?" she asked unbelieving.

"Like you want me to take you right here" he said, his voice and expression suddenly surprisingly serious, sending a chill down her back.

She turned to stare at her unfinished food intently in order to hide the completely different kind of flush her face was breaking into.

"I missed you last night" he whispered and she could practically feel his eyes burn a whole into the side of her face.

"I missed you too" she mouthed silently, still not looking up, as if the declaration overwhelmed her.

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to... visit you... this week" he said and she laughed at the term he used for his late night sneak ins.

"I just don't like Mandy alone in the house" he went on, his voice suddenly free of any innuendo.

She looked at him now, narrowing her eyes in concern.

"I don't like you two on your own" she said.

"Don't worry about it, we're used to it" he said causally "How is the lunch?" he asked focusing on her tray and she couldn't help but smile a wry smile.

She knew his sudden changes in topic were a way to steer the conversation away from things he did not want to address. It seemed to be the theme for this week as he'd refused her every attempt to talk about his parents, college or anything regarding his plans for the future for that matter. She didn't push it, knowing he'd come around and would eventually think about everything at his own pace.

"It's okay" she mumbled "are you gonna have some?"

"Nah" he sighed "not really hungry" he squinted looking up at the clock "I might have time for a quick smoke though"

She widened her eyes as she watched him get up.

"No-no-no, I don't wanna hear it" he raised his arms in defence "I still have a couple to make up for a weekend of abstinence" he said placing a finger in front of his mouth as if to signal.

"I have to pick up and drive Mandy home in the afternoon, but I'll be back by the time you finish with the soul-searching and then we can go study at your place" he said casually turning to walk off.

He turned back to flash her a smile.

"And I will see you at French, mademoiselle" he said not waiting for a response.

She watched his departing form and she could swear she saw his smile fade the minute he turned away from her, his expression replaced by a cold, tired one instead.

She sighed uneasy thinking about that expression. It's the one she knew him to wear in school as though it was a mask for him. But somehow it seemed like she's seen less of it until this week. She tried to ponder whether he seemed more weary or not. Whether he was just playing happy to her. Or whether there were other changes as well. Did he smoke more? Eat less? Talk less? Avoid her?
She shrugged trying to clear her mind of the obsessive thoughts.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. Good. Very good actually"

"You seem better"

"Yeah, well, I guess I am"

"Your grades are back to exceptional"

"Well, I did study a lot to catch up"

"Are you more sure about your future goals?"

"Yeah, well, I am. I want to try and get into a good college"

"Not Harvard?"

"Well, I'm going to try Harvard, but I am not ruling anything else out. I mean, I was so focused on that one school when there's obviously other very good schools out there"

"That's right"

"I mean nobody is forcing a gun to my head to get into Harvard"

"Certainly not"

"Although I do want to do the best I can, you know? I mean a good school isn't just for show, it's regarded as a good school for a reason. It doesn't just mean expectations, it also means that you get quality, which is important, right? I mean, I don't think that every school is the same. And I think you owe it to yourself to bring out the best in you, right? I mean 'a mind is a terrible thing to waste' and all that..."

"Rory. Is something bothering you?"

"I want to go to college"

"Yes, I think we made that clear"

"I'm not sure Tristan wants to. I mean right now. I'm sure he will eventually. Although not sure where. I mean he seems to think it's not so important, the place"

"I see"

"He is really smart, you know, he really is. I mean people might not realize that because obviously he is not so keen on showing that to everyone, but he is incredibly smart. He'll sit and read a book and will not do one note or highlight one section and still he knows the whole thing by heart the next day. It's crazy, it's like he's got this photographic memory or something. And he's so good with math, I mean, for me it's always an effort, math, but he seems to see the solution to the problems in his head, it's crazy"

"So why do you think he is not aiming high?"

"I guess he just has other ideas about life and what you should achieve in life and I think... I think..."

"What?"

"I think he's depressed... I mean, not like I was, the psychotic crazy depressed... I know I wasn't psychotic crazy depressed, I am just exaggerating... I guess he always has been, you know? But maybe I realize that more now that I am feeling..."

"Now that you are feeling better?"

"Yeah"

"Does that scare you?"

"No. No. I mean I am worried for him, you know? I wish I could help, because he's helped me so much, but I feel like I can only sit and watch him, because he doesn't seem to... open up... or even acknowledge the fact that he's... you know"

"Rory, realizing you have a problem is not an easy task"

"I know that. God, I know, I am not reproaching him, I just wish I could help"

"Well how do you think he helped you?"

"I guess just being there for me. And accepting how I was"

"Maybe he needs the same?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Probably... But, you know I think I needed that rock bottom... that weird experience to get me to realize I want to get better, I need to get better... I just don't think he sees that. It's like he needs his lighthouse still"

"Do you see it that way?"

"I don't know. I... I don't know... Maybe I am just overreacting... Maybe he'll be fine and he's just going through a rough phase with his parents and everything"

"And what if not?"

"Then... we'll just deal with it, I guess... We'll make it work"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, so I know you two are holed up here pretending to read your books while no doubt you are performing some type of weird and kinky telepathic sex..." Lorelai ranted as she kicked the door open.

"Oh baby, yeah" Tristan looked up cynically from his book, laying on the bed while Lorelai glared back at him.

"Mother" Rory rolled her eyes, sitting in her regular spot.

"... but I rented Sliding doors and I though we could make fun on Gwyneth trying to talk in a British accent"

"You wanna watch a movie?" Rory asked, a bit surprised.

"Yeah, Matt is over at Sookie's, so it's going to be a quiet night, so I thought we could order a bunch of food and have a little movie night"

"Wow, that sounds great, we haven't had that in a while" Rory smiled.

"So, Brad in training, you wanna join?" Lorelai turned towards Tristan.

"Me?" he looked up puzzled.

"No, John Paul the second, yeah you. You practically live here anyway, what with the constant afternoon 'studying' and then the late night sneaking back" she rolled her eyes

"What are you talking about mom?" Rory laughed nervously.

"Okay, hey, don't play dumb with me, I am the queen of late night sneaking back, okay? Well. I was. I am obviously not now" she rambled.

"You know?" Rory swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Okay, the tree in front of the house is now basically dying because the branches have been under so much stress. I am thinking of placing a ladder there just to help you out" she said, dramatically emphasizing the words.

"Would make things easier" Tristan said under his breath.

"Yeah, I don't think so, lover boy. It would freak Chris out" Lorelai shot him a look.

"Oh, it would freak HIM out?" he asked, a fake smile on his face.

"Yeah. I just managed to convince him that the time he caught you two naked you two were just studying anatomy. And that last week's screaming at 2 a.m. was just a really vivid dream Rory was having about Keanu Reeves" she mumbled.

"Oh my god" Rory closed her eyes embarrassed.

"Oh yay, thanks for the quote, but I think it's burnt into my memory, you don't have to remind me" Lorelai joked, smiling wickedly.

"Hey, you can't blame us. That telepathic sex things gets a little old after a while" Tristan said closing the book in his lap, mischief in his eyes.

"Okay, says the boy that spent all of last weekend in his little sex mansion with my daughter" she shot back.

"Okay, can we please stop talking about sex? This is freaking me out" Rory pleaded.

"Alright. I'll go order the food, you two come down when you're finished" Lorelai said walking out the door.

"Sure thing, I am a couple of thoughts away from my telepathic orgasm" Tristan mumbled.

"Too funny, just too funny, Tristan" they heard her mother shout non-impressed, as she walked down the stairs.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, you know what? This totally reminds me of that Alanis Morisette song" Lorelai said biting down on another spring roll pointing towards the TV screen.

Rory sat next to her on the couch focusing on the movie while trying to consume a pizza slice without tearing her eyes away from the screen.
Tristan and Christopher sat across from each other in their respective armchairs trying to concentrate on the movie, that was increasingly hard with the constant rambling.

"What? Ironic?" Rory asked, mouth full.

"No. The other one" Lorelai said finishing her spring roll.

"Okay, be more vague please" Rory smirked.

"The one she wrote for Uncle Jesse" Lorelai scoffed.

"She never wrote one for Uncle Jesse, it was the other uncle" Rory corrected her.

"You sure?" Lorelai turned to her, disbelief showing on her face.

"Yeah" Rory nodded.

"The angry, bitchy song?" she asked again.

"Again, be more vague. But yes, that was for him" she smiled.

"What about uncle Jesse?" Loreli asked puzzled.

"They were never together, he's married to that supermodel" Rory shrugged.

"The one from Ukrain" Lorelai said narrowing her eyes.

"No, that would be Milla. She's married to the Fifth Element dude" Rory once again corrected her mother.

"Oh, I love that movie. Even though Bruce only uses his two expressions" Lorelai mused.

"He only has those two expressions" Rory pointed out.

"Yeah. And oooh, the lady with the blue thingies?" Lorelai asked all excited.

"That's a lady?" Rory looked at her in shock.

"You can't really tell, can you?" Lorelai smiled.

"Except for when she's singing maybe" Rory pondered.

"I wouldn't call it singing. I would call it the dog bark inducing activity" Lorelai clarified.

"It's still better than Milla's CD" Rory laughed.

"She sings? You are confusing her with another model"

"Like who?" Rory looked at her laughing.

"Naomi?" she tried.

"Okay, how would I be confusing Milla Jovovich and Naomi Campbell?" Rory said.

"I don't know, you are freakishly underinformed when it comes to some issues" her mother shot back.

"Okay, at what point did you lose track of this conversation?" Chris said with an unamused tone, staring ahead at Tristan.

"John Stamos" he replied without missing a beat.

"Wow. That's one more thought skip than I managed to follow" he said impressed "I think I'm going to wash the dishes or something" he said rising from his chair, obviously dying to get away.

"Let me help you" Tristan followed suit, suddenly seemingly eager to get out as well.

"No wait, hold on, help me out here!" Lorelai stopped them.

"So close" Christopher hissed as he slumped back down.

"Did Milla Jovovich ever release a single?" Lorelai asked cheerfully.

"I... honestly couldn't care less?" Tristan tried.

"I'm with you on that buddy" Christopher sighed.

"Oh yeah? When did you two become so chummy?" Lorelai asked with a wicked smile.

"During this extremely long rambling session you two just had?" Tristan mumbled.

"You know what mister, watch the attitude or no ladder" Lorelai pointed a finger at him, obviously enjoying her own joke.

"What?" Christopher asked baffled.

"Nothing" the three others said simultaneously, inducing a suspicious look from the man.

"You're all weird!" he said frowning.

"Okay, so I am totally confused now, which Gwyn is which?" Lorelai stared at the screen.

"They have completely different hairstyles so the not so gifted can follow as well, mom" Rory mused.

"Oh my god, my Harvard bound daughter just dissed me" she looked at Christopher in mock hurt "she just dissed me, did you hear that?"

Christopher raised an arm smiling, while Lorelai just looked on in mock shock.

"Actually, I've been thinking about Yale" Rory said causally and the room suddenly became quiet, the only sounds coming from the TV set.
Tristan's eyes shot to Rory in surprise, who was picking cheese off her pizza, as if to occupy herself with something.

"What?" Lorelai asked softly as if she was trying to keep her reactions in check, glancing from Rory to Christopher.

"I'm just saying I am not sure I want to do Harvard, and that I am considering other possibilities. Like Yale" she shrugged, still avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

"Well, that's great, kiddo, but can I maybe ask on risk of pissing off your grandfather who probably by some magical selective hearing picked up this very sentence and had already started calling up his old alumni buddies organizing a welcome to Yale banquet for you, why you chose Yale?" she rambled.

"I didn't choose Yale, I was just saying I was considering it" she answered, her voice calm.

"Okay. So why are you considering it?" Lorelai went on, while a serious Christopher listened intently.

"Well, it's close by. I could see you guys on weekends. And grandfather would be thrilled. It has incredible journalism classes" she started stating her reasons, then paused for a moment "And a good architectural program"

She looked up at Tristan, who was sitting in the armchair motionless, his expression not telling anything, his eyes fixed on Rory's like he was contemplating what to do.

Lorelai and Christopher looked at each other, then the two kids who were staring at each other. A long second passed without anyone speaking.

Tristan sighed lightly and stood up suddenly form the armchair.

"I should get going, it's late" he said, his voice cold, distant as he walked across the living room "Ms Gilmore, Mr. Hayden, thanks for the movie and the food" he said and didn't wait for a response.

"Tristan" Rory called out, getting up as well, dropping the remainder of her pizza back into the box, dashing after Tristan who was already out on the porch and walking down the steps.

"Tristan, wait" Rory ran after him catching up with him, her hand touching his arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" he turned around suddenly, his voice angry, his face disturbed.

"Nothing. I just thought it could be something we could consider. I checked out their course descriptions and you would love it" she tried, her voice pleading.

"Rory, you can't just fucking tell your parents you are going to Yale so you can be with me" he shot.

"Why not?" she asked.

"First of all, I'm not going to Yale!" he yelled.

"Why?" she asked, not backing down.

"Because.." he said frustrated.

"No, Tristan, tell me why, other than the fact that you don't by any chance want to please anyone in your family, would you not even consider going there to study?" she asked crossing her arms.

"I don't want to talk about this" he said turning back towards his car.

"You said you would consider" she said hurt.

"Yeah, I said I would. Consider. Which is not equal to you announcing to your parents we are both going to Yale" he turned back.

"That's not what I did" she defended herself.

"They hate me enough as it is, Rory, now they're thinking you're turning your whole future upside down for me" he said frustrated.

"Okay, I don't think anyone would be disowning me if I went to Yale instead of Harvard" she scoffed.

"But you'd be doing it for me!" he said.

"So what?!" she shot, raising her voice for the first time.

"So what if I want to be with you? If I want to make some compromises to be with you? Why is that so horrible, Tristan? Because you are not willing to do that?" she asked him, her voice shaking with emotions.

He stared at her face astonished, as if not knowing what to say to her. He raised his arm in despair and let out a long breath.

"I can't deal with this right now" he mumbled turning around and getting into his car.

Rory sighed frustrated and watched in vain as he sped off into the quiet streets.