Second part of Mierra's background.

This time, let's learn how, from a despised murderer, she grew a cherished enthusiasm with the word "adventurers"


I think I said something about being cold or something… But when I was labelled as a murderer, I learnt the hard way that I was actually a detached, heartless and apathetic little girl. I probably never even cared about my parents. You know why I'm kind of sure of it? It's because I stopped promising to my mother that I'll never leave her.

First a beggar, then a thief, and know a criminal. I really was detested by fate, right? Gods must love playing pranks on us, for willingly leading me like this by the nose, and dumping me in those cruel events. Well, not that I care either about my own predicament. It's not like I gave them just one prayer, so maybe it's retribution or something like that? For someone who never asked anything from those never-shown deities, and then suddenly starting a childish tantrum the moment my life is thrown upside down. Well, I was still a child at that moment, so I can't be excused for my behaviour.

So I saved his life by killing a dangerous victim of our robbery. The day after, they didn't accept me in their group anymore. They surely felt some eerie intent from me, but all I wanted was protecting what I held dear. I protected one of my friend, however they disliked the idea of sharing the same room of someone of their age with blood-covered hands. So I ran away, and hid myself in another district, with the faint and dumb hope of being forgotten by everyone. Well, the poster does describe the new murderer as a short girl with long hair, and poor garments to keep herself warm. The fact that I didn't hold any other kind of distinct mark was an unknown blessing for me, but it really helped me to merge with the other people.

And just like that, my life was resumed as if nothing happened at all. Except now I'm alone against the world. Days passed by just like that, with me begging for a mouthful of food or whatever I could gnaw on. Sometimes I had to quickly stand up and run as fast as I could, because the guards weren't tolerant enough to ignore me, who so perfectly fitted the poster's description. During that time, I heard that some other kids were taken. They were all girls, with long hair, and poor garments. I couldn't tell if they were seriously serious about looking after me, yet all I could think of, each time I saw one of them captured, shackled by those heavy metal mechanisms, was relief. Deep inside me, I truly felt some sort of tranquillity of mind, when they thought they captured the culprit, yet they only dragged an innocent one for… Purposes.

Yeah, now that I think about it, this period of my time was the most despised of all. That was because they ruined even more my youth, and by "they" I mean "the adults". I never, never could trust one of them. Except mama, but I think she was died before I knew about it. So I was saying… Yeah, it all started with this suspicious guy. I was new in this sector, but I still spent enough time to observe everyone in this place. And I was aware that he was related to dubious hobbies. Every time he came here, it was to pick a random homeless, and lure him in a house. Exactly, he lured them one at a time, to fulfil some shady ratio or I don't know. Picked by my curiosity, I once decided to follow him until I found this peculiar house. I never dared to infiltrate it, only watch it from a safe distance. When he let a woman enter, I could hear her moans and cries through the whole night. When he let a man enter, I could hear his shoots and pleas through the whole night. And the most frightening thing was… They never came back. Back then, I was too young to understand what slavery was, but I think I still got the idea that it would lead one's life to something worse than misery… Something akin to… Despair? Hopelessness? Like a big, deep, black hole, from which nobody can come back. At that time, if someone asked me what my nightmare was, I would point my finger toward the dark alley and say "It's this house, over there". So I ran, again, in order to escape this, with the sheer determination of never growing up if I had to fall in the same ending.

When I arrived in yet another district of the city, that was… Yup, that was when I met them. Clad in various armours and weapons, be it heavy or light, sharp or blunt. They were grand or petite, I could even see men and women amongst their groups. They talked vividly, almost hurling their words with a great laugh. I called myself "apathetic", but I could in no circumstances deny their happiness. Actually, I almost felt some jealously. Simply because they were joyful and not me. I wanted to punch them for being so merry-go-happy, seriously. However, at the same time… I don't know. I really felt a big admiration for them, all of a sudden. They didn't look like your typical hostile guard, or the betrayal kind of guy who appears from behind the corner of the street. I don't know why they were so happy actually, but I couldn't gather the courage to go and frankly ask them. So I eavesdropped on their conversation, hoping I could catch with their flow.

"Yaaaah, seriously! That was a fight like no other, right?"

"Yeah sure. You almost dropped flat on the ground when you met them eyes in the eyes."

"Come on, man! Anyone would be scared in this situation!"

So it was about a combat? War maybe? Or a simple confrontation in another district of whatever. With them, I kind of wanted to… Learn, how to be happy, you see? Since I was banned from my group of friends, I think I… Lost something. Something special, which would make me happy, which would make me smile or something. And when I heard them talking gloriously about their brawl, I was beginning to adopt the idea of adoring hurting others. Violence was always the answer. Better them than me. Those kind of thoughts, you see? But before I could return to the slums, I suddenly heard a strange word.

"Remember how I fwooshed the skeleton with my mass? It was just at that point to bite you for real, you remember?"

"Oh shit. Yeah I do. You should have seen your face when you turned your back and saw it in front of you."

"You almost soiled you pants, right?"

"Ah damn, don't remember it jeez..."

Skeletons? So they really were those so called… I forgot the name, but I've always been told about the. I didn't knew the details, but I knew what their job was. It was about monster hunting, those so-called nemesis of humanity. I never saw one by myself, so I didn't knew if I should give some credits to those stories or not. However, looking at those adventurers filled me with an honest feeling of… How do you name it again? Bravery? Something something… Whatever, they inspired me, in a good way. But not yet. I was still thinking something in the lines of "what's the difference if I punch a human or a skeleton?". And it was those final words that finally landed the last hit to nail my determination.

"And what about the village? Any news?"

"Well, I heard they finally decided to redesign their cemetery. With the crypt that we purified, it should be clear of zombies until next year."

"We sure saved the day, right?"

"Ahah, you bet! I'm truly thankful to the gods that we made it in time. If we had arrived a bit later, all the villagers would have been turned into walking corpses."

"Hey, mister hero. You sure hit in the eye of this village girl, right?"

"Oh come on, I don't want to live the rest of my life as a peasant, and you know it!"

"Now you're grieving because you didn't accept her feelings! Ahah!"

So… They were heroes. They accepted a quest, probably without the thought that it was urgent or anything, and managed to tame the danger before it dangerously spread. They… Saved people. They saved lives. That was how I came with the question "Why aren't everyone just like them?". Yeah, like… Why isn't everyone helping each other? Why are we left alone in the dark? The funny thing is, you surely want to believe that it was at this point that I changed too? Well, fat chance, I only despised adults even more because of this. Why are we left alone in the dark? Or more like… Why was I left alone in the dark, while they go and save people I don't even care about? That was egoist, purely egoist from me. However, this simple thought expressed everything I lacked in my life to be complete. After all those hardships, those sad and hurtful memories, all I needed now was… A hero.

"Oh, look over here! Catch!"

"Uh? Ouch!"

Suddenly harassed by a slight pain on the forefront, I instinctively tried to calm the pain by rubbing my hand on it, while quickly analysing what did hurt me. To my surprise, it was… One of those adventurers, who threw me an apple.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Idiot. You really suck."

Then, before I realised it, I was surrounded by their group. Panic drove me fearful, and I wanted to run away, even when I was fully aware that I couldn't. So I just stood here, tears appearing in my eyes, frightened by the idea of joining those other kids in the house.

"Are you okay, kid?"

"Well I don't think you're strong enough to hurt anyone with an apple. Just look at your thin arms and you'll understand what I mean."

"Can I please look after my mistake without being insulted?"

They were going to sold me, I knew it. They were going to use me, just like those women were being used in the house. I knew what happened to them, because someone told me, because I asked what happened to them. So I just stood here, cowering like a small animal, holding back my tears as I knew they would just make my eyesight blurry, and that wouldn't help me escape.

"Ahhh, sorry sorry, my bad. I only wanted to give you this apple."

Then, to show he wasn't lying, he picked the apple, rubbed it against his cape to clean the dirt, then gently held out the fruit for me. I… Really didn't knew how to react. Should I just punch him and take the apple? Yeah, let's do that.

"Awh!"

Now with a red mark on the face, and not holding anymore the apple, he retreated one, two step away. Me, I was hiding the food in my arms with all my strength. It was mine now, and I won't share it with anyone.

"Ahah! Serve you well!"

"That's what happen when you deny a poor girl's heart, and hurt another in the head with an apple!"

"Don't talk about divine retribution now… But damn that was a punch!"

It's okay, I already practiced it. I knew what taking a beating implied. I just had to hold my breath each time their feet would hit me, and that would make the impact a little bit more tolerable. Well, I can't withstand it for so long, so I can only hope they won't kick me until I lost consciousness. With all those mental preparations, I closed my eyes, and waited…

"Ahhh sorry kid, sorry. I didn't meant to frighten you."

I only trembled in fear, and barely heard him. Maybe I did, however it was like his words were denied in my head. Something like… I didn't wanted to listen to him anymore. My world had its borders closed, and no one could come in anymore.

"Just leave her be. Besides, that'll teach you a thing about life."

"Don't forget I'm the one who's privileged with the discounts at the inn."

"Shut up and buy us beers! Ahah!"

With a slap behind his head, the group left me unharmed. That's right, they didn't even touch me. Well, if you don't count the apple, then yes they never hurt me. That was how I grew curious about them, so I followed them discreetly. It's like… It's like a dream, or something else. They were too kind, so I had to investigate and see evidence, so I would know where their bad deeds laid. Nobody is compassionate, it's only a mask to lure you…

So I chased after them, hiding myself behind the corners and the people so they wouldn't notice me. It's funny, I felt like a ninja or something. Well, I was actually too serious to take things lightly like this, so this mission was more tiring than anything else. During this little journey, I actually travelled through a big part of the city. They met a guy who sold herbalist's stuff, such as potions, antidotes, repellents and… Stuff. Then they went and talked to another old dude. This one was selling… Stuff. Equipment, if you wanted a better word. Swords, shields, chainmail, you name it. I think they wanted their current items to be repaired or something like that. I guess?

At last, their final destination was the previously mentioned inn. It was already dusk outside, and the coldness of the night was going to fall upon me if I didn't retreat inside my hideout in the slums. But I didn't give up. I couldn't. I… I… At that time, I didn't know what gave me such determination to pursue them. I was blinded by my narrow-minded spirit, so of course I wouldn't even give a damn thought about my true intention. All I wanted was… Learn about them.

That was then, all of a sudden, one of them noticed my presence. The one who gave me the apple actually. I remember this scene clearly, I couldn't be wrong. He smiled at me, and made a gesture with his hand, indicating me to come closer. I was… Wary of him, of course. Yet… You're going to laugh, but what I asked myself was if he would give me another apple. I was childish, and… I really didn't expect them to invite me at their table. The other were reluctant at first, but quickly changed their attitude, and even wore friendlier face. They recounted their tales to me. They highly narrated how they defeated this and that with so much vigour that I became… Mesmerized by their stories, were they overvalued or not. It was so… Fascinating. Alluring. Dream-making. I don't even know if it's a word, and I don't care. Because it was a true fact.

Thanks to this fateful meeting, I grew an interest in the world of the adventurers.

I don't know why I suddenly started to recall all those memories from my youth. Was I being targeted by a confusing spell? Nah, I was just… Reminiscing of the past, of my lone adventures and stuff.

… Yeah, it's kinda nostalgic, know that I give it a bit of thought.

All those stuff that happened… After I learned how to cast magic by imitating their magic caster, I downright went on the road of the adventurer. Damn was I a spoiled, arrogant, ungrateful child back then.

Well, maybe I am still a child at heart.

Thanks to my new undead condition, sleeping wasn't a necessity anymore. You could call this a curse or a blessing, if you enjoy sleeping or taking a nap or not.

As an adventurer, knowing how and when to sleep was an absolute requirements when you go camp outside. Well, it's basically at your risk and peril, but sometimes you just can't find this damned town, so… Well, that was how it was, sometimes.

And now, fortuitous as I am, I don't even need to sleep anymore! The drawback is that I was used to sleep as a human, so I still sort of feel this deprivation, or absence of concentration… It's both suppressed and trying to express itself, so it's hard to call it a feeling. Surely a residue of my once living self.

Wait. What the fuck am I saying? A residue of my once living self? Well, I'm really accepting my fate more quickly than I had anticipated. At this rate, I'll really start thinking like those pieces of thrash …

Remember, Mierra, you are not a monster, but a human.

Even in this cursed form, you are still a human being. Remember, and don't forget.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Wait a moment, then—

"H-Halt there, you monster!"

… Oh for fuck sake!


And that's what happened. Look how close they now are of each other! Only a few more paragraphs and... *Fireworks*!

Now, here's the thing: I'm going on a vacation next week, so I won't be able to publish new chapter until august. Please don't resent me, I wanna see the sea at least once this year.

Until then, stay well, dear readers!