Thank you so much for all your support, it really meant a lot =]

I know I say this all the time, but I really do think that you're gonna hate me for this next chapter and where I'm taking this story... but over the past couple of days I haven't really been able to write... I've tried and all that has come out is depressed drabble. I don't mean to go on and on about it... but I do write what I'm feeling, and all day I've been trying to think of an upbeat chapter for you, but I just couldn't.

Some of you won't agree with where I'm taking this story now, and I completely understand that, but I feel in order for this progress to a realistic ending, I kinda need this part now... If I'm completely honest, without this next new 'twist' in a sense, the story will end soon, pretty soon. And anyway, if you're all still interested after this story, lol, the ending will leave way for a sequel, something which I rarely do, but I could with this story if it goes the way I'm thinking.

But I'm very inconsistent ;]

Hope you don't hate it!

******

Chapter 27

Her head rests in the crook of my neck as the movie begins. The popcorn sits beside us in the darkened room. I breathe a sigh of comfort as she edges closer to me, her arm resting on my leg.

I entwine our fingers as the opening credits of Imagine Me and You come on screen.

"What's this about?" I ask,

"Love at first sight"

"Cheesy" I laugh, and she slaps my stomach slightly,

"No, it's not. It's a great film... basically this girl, Rachel... Piper Perabo-"

"Coyote Ugly!" I shout, and she laughs,

"Yes... she's getting married to a guy, Heck, and as she's walking down the aisle her eyes meet with Luce, the florist at her wedding, and she falls for her... and you'll see the rest"

"Oh, so it's a gay film?"

"Yes, now shh" It's about an hour into the film and I'm bloody warm. I look at Emily who's wearing a t-shirt and then a long sleeved jacket on, and I frown,

"Christ, aren't you warm?" I ask, and she laughs,

"A little"

"Take your jacked off then" She sits up, unzipping the garment, taking it off and resuming her place in my arms. I could get used to this.

Her warm arm spreads across my leg and my hand gently rubs up and down. My fingers slow, feeling a rough part of her skin, I frown, looking down. My fingers running over what appears to be two red cuts on the inside of her arm. "What's this?" I ask, and Emily looks to her arm, pulling it away sharply,

"Oh, it's nothing"

"Let me see" She keeps her arm by her side,

"I just walked into a loose nail that was sticking out a door frame"

"Twice?" She laughs,

"Yeah, I'm such a clutz. Watch, this is a good bit" I turn to the telly, watching as Rachel starts shouting at luce, and then all of a sudden, they're kissing. Emily places her arm on my legs again and I can't stop my eyes from falling on her arm.

There is no way that a nail did that...

Two perfectly straight lines, almost parallel to each other...

But as stupid as I am, I accept her explanation, and focus back on the film.

"What's wrong?" She asks as I'm making a cup of tea, "You've been quiet after the film"

"Nothing"

"Come on" She whines, and I look at her, her smiling lips egging me on to tell her,

"Are you gonna tell me?" her smile stops,

"Tell you what?"

"I'm not stupid Emily... I know a nail didn't do that..."

"Well obviously you are... cause it did"

"Fine, what ever..." I turn back around, stirring the cups angrily. Her arms wrap around my waist as her shoulder rests on my chin,

"Don't get grumpy" She pouts, "I'm not lying to you"

"Good... I hope not"

"I wouldn't" She continues,

"It would break my heart" She's silent,

"Well, I wouldn't want to do that now would I?" She laughs, an uncomfortable laugh, "When are we going to bed?" She asks seductively, kissing my ear,

"I'm not in the mood"

"That can soon change"

"No, not tonight Emily" I say sternly,

"Right, well in that case, I better be going" She kisses my cheek this time, "I love you" She says before turning around,

"You too"

*****

I don't know why I didn't believe her answer to those cuts... No, actually, I do.

You know that in most cases, you can't see what is right in front of your eyes, not until somebody points it out... well this is one of those cases.

Emily knows I'm not stupid, I may be blind but I most certainly am not dumb.

Because of those two crimson cuts that sat just below her wrist I've suddenly become accustomed to noticing old white cuts which are so clear, yet so invisible when you weren't looking for them.

She never speaks about anything... well, anything important, like her mother, her family... anything like that. If I ask how her mum is doing, I get a brief explanation spoon-fed me and then she quickly changes the subject, so right now as I'm scrolling through my phonebook, I call the one person who can give me some answers.

I know I shouldn't, I should wait for Emily to come clean, to tell me herself when she's ready, but it's also killing me that she isn't telling me what's wrong, she isn't confiding in me... let's face it, the Emily I know and love hasn't been around for over a month. So as I finish my phone call, arranging a place to meet, I breathe a quick sigh of relief... hoping that maybe she can give me some answers.

Katie walks through the cafe door, instantly sitting down in front of me. She knows what I'm going to ask, I can see it on her face. "I'm her sister Naomi..."

"I know that"

"You can't ask me this"

"I can" She sighs,

"What so you want me to say?"

"What she isn't"

"She doesn't open up well... she doesn't know how to Naomi... she's been hurt so many times that it's just not like her to open up"

"She has with me... just not about this"

"Maybe she doesn't want to tell anyone... it's not exactly a crowd pleaser, talking about your alcoholic mum"

"You manage fine"

"I'm not the one who gets abuse hurled at them though... Don't look at me like that... you think I like that she gets all the abuse, do you not think I wish that mum would give me some, instead of acting like I'm some angel, no matter what I do, it just makes things worse"

"What about the cuts... the scars"

"How did you find out about that?"

"I'm not fucking blind"

"Look, you can't say anything to her about it... ok" She almost threatens me,

"No, it's not ok... you think I'm supposed to sit back and watch"

"Yes, that is exactly what you're supposed to do" I glare at her, "I know how it sounds, but we've been here before... do you honestly think I didn't know about it? I've known all along, since she started doing it after that fucking bitch broke her heart... nobody can break your heart more than a best friend" She says sadly, "We all knew... but it's her way..."

"You sound like all she's doing is smoking!" I say, completely astounded at how she's talking about it,

"It is like fucking smoking... it's a habit, an addiction... I once asked her why... she knew we all knew... we had to, I shared a fucking room with her while she did it. She was cunning though, very cunning, on places people wouldn't see as well as her arms..."

"Why did she say she did it?"

"It's not like she's doing it to kill herself..."

"Sure doesn't seem like it"

"And it's not a cry for help either... It's her nicotine... what do you do when you're stressed, when you're upset, what's the first thing you grab, the first thing you do?"

"Smoke" I say quietly, it all suddenly sinking in,

"Yes... exactly... Emily cuts... she can't help it. She told me that it calms her... as stupid as it sounds it's something that she can control, in a life where she has no control. She feels empowered... relieved, as if a thousand worries float off her shoulders... I understand to somebody who doesn't understand it, it might seem like attention-seeking, suicide gone wrong... what ever... but it's her way of coping"

"How can you get her to stop?"

"You can't... look. She stopped, she hadn't done it for what? A few years... but with mum, it's just come back. It is honestly like a drug addiction... you need a hell of a lot of strength to get off the drugs, and even more strength to stay off. As soon as something happens she has absolutely no control over, she'll want to do it again... just like an ex-druggie will be tempted to start again... I said don't look at me like that... you think I like what she's doing, you think I'm ok with it... I'm not, far from it, she's my sister, and I love her, and I have to accept it, just like you do"

"Why has she started again... is your mum being real bad?" I ask, suddenly feeling very nervous at the prospect of Emily being left alone with her right now,

"I'm afraid I've already told you too much... if you don't know any of this there is probably a reason" She stands up, "Why don't you ask her about it?"

"Katie, please"

"I'm sorry... I can't" She says a quick bye before leaving.

I drag my fingers through my hair as I try to work out what to do... I can't sit back and watch as she hurts herself... I can't...

But like Katie said, there is a reason I don't know these things... and prying might make things worse.

It just seems to be one endless struggle with Emily and I. It's as if we can't be happy, we can never get to that stage of happiness where it's almost impossible to be torn away from it. It just seems as though we are stuck in limbo, a place where we neither are or we aren't.

I know she made the big gesture on bonfire night, but that was a month ago...

*****

"Hey" She wraps her arm around my stomach as I'm making a sandwich. Fuck she smells good today.

I know that when we don't have anything bothering us, anything interfering we are fantastic together. Like now.

She didn't need to announce that she was here, she didn't need to knock, she walked in, the first place on her list of things to do being to give me a cuddle.

She squeezes me tighter, my stomach almost being crushed. "I've missed you" I feel her smile into my back, her lips gently kissing the exposed part of my neck. "What you making me?"

"What am I making you?" I laugh, "Cheek on ya" She giggles, "What do you want?" Her body dips as her hands reach down to the front of my thighs, her hands scraping up seductively,

"You, just wearing a little less" I giggle as I turn around, facing her, waiting to be pushed against the counter, waiting to be kissed, but instead she stands, smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing" She shakes her head quickly, before leaning in, trying to capture my lips, but I pull away. A smirk dancing on my lips as she appears shocked. Shocked that I avoided her advances. "Hey" She pouts, leaning in again, this time I move my head so that my target is now her neck.

I love the shape of her neck. The smoothness of her skin, the way she tastes. I could indulge in kissing, nibbling, licking and biting this part of her body all day and never tire. The way she groans throatily as my tongue runs over a certain part of her neck, the way she growls when I bite down on another part.

The list is endless, but nevertheless, exciting.

It is moments like these which make the bad times worth fighting through, damn worth fighting.

************

As I said before... It's taken me a couple of days to write this and I've been thinking about it a lot, and I do have an idea where I am taking this... I'm not going to give anything away... and I know this is an angst fuelled story, there will be some more fluff, but there will be a hell of a lot of angst.

Honest reviews please at this sudden change, thanks =]