i. aching thoughts

Sadness is so painfully beautiful when melancholy has settled in your bones and your lungs are sore from the loneliness that has filled them. Regret, fear, disappointment… All of them have their unique poetry that is turned into the most enchanting song.

Caroline had learned to admire the gloominess long ago; he had been the one to show her how pain could be turned into the most exquisite paintings or the loveliest verses. How ironic it was that she now had to love the heartache that he had given her.

He had left her.

He had left everything she thought he believed in, abandoned all of the promises they had made together.

And, oh, angels were not supposed to hate, but, in the secrecy of her soul, she did hate him. Caroline had never learned how to appreciate repugnance and fury, so she held onto those as hard as she could, because she did not want her feelings towards him to be pretty, he didn't deserve that.

The other angels didn't know what to do. All of the archangels had simply abandoned heaven with no regards to what had stayed behind – a chaotic mess and some broken hearts.

Caroline had pretended to be fine. She put on a brave face and took charge until the appropriate changes were made, assigning missions and occupying her mind with lists of things to do.

However, heaven became her personal hell as resentment grew inside of her and she allowed it to take as much space as it could, so that she wouldn't feel the loneliness that threatened to take over her body whenever she absent-mindedly sought his presence, forgetting for just a moment that he wouldn't be there and that she shouldn't want him to be there.

The days passed slowly, her agony never lessening in strength or size, but her anger shimmered every now and then and allowed her to shed her first tears. Were angels supposed to cry? She did not know. All she knew was that he was no longer there and it hurt too much.

In the back of her mind, Caroline still hoped there'd be an explanation, that he'd have a good answer when she looked him in the eyes and asked him why. She didn't wonder what it said about her that she was more concerned with the reason he had left her rather than why he had turned his back to God.

When new archangels were created, she was told to go to Earth to help a girl find some light in the darkness that her life had become after losing her parents and, oh, the prospect of taking care of someone was just what she needed. She was excited to go, to do some good and to stop thinking about him.

And all of her excitement turned to ashes in her mouth, making her choke with the anxiety that grew suddenly inside of her when the news reached her ears – Bonnie, an angel and one of her closest friends, had been contacted by one of the fallen while in a mission. Kol had told her that when she used her powers he could track her, explaining their meeting with a mischievous smile that had her fleeing from him before he could make her forget reason with his soft words.

To supervise and organize the angels' works, five archangels were originally created – Elijah, Finn, Kol, Rebekah and Niklaus. Each of them assigned the missions, participating only in the ones of greater importance.

Caroline's supervisor used to be Niklaus. He had been the one to instruct her and to test her when she'd been created, the one who had reprehended her when she acted in unholy ways… And he had been the one who had kissed her softly when they'd watched the sky turn pink around them at sunset, the one whose hands had wandered first one night weeks later.

And now she dreaded the thought of meeting him. She did not want to face the disappointment and the pain he represented, she did not want to hear his sheepish excuses and apologies. Caroline would just have to do everything in her power so that he wouldn't find her.

She went to Earth the next day to find Elena Gilbert, the girl she was supposed to take care of, in a small town in Virginia named Mystic Falls. The fake smiles she forced onto her face broke Caroline's heart as she observed from a distance, invisible to everyone's eyes. She'd begin simply, making flowers blossom in Elena's path, giving her friends the idea to call her and talk to her to make sure she was okay and just making everyday so beautiful and enchanting that it'd remind her how precious life could be.

But using her powers to influence the girl's life would direct him instantly to her, according to what Bonnie had said. Caroline had thought it through, though, and her plan consisted mainly on confusing him – she couldn't not use her abilities, so she'd just use it multiple times in multiple places, making him search for her all over the world and hopefully never catching her.

Part of her, the part that still loved him despite everything, questioned her insistence on being away from him, wondered if she shouldn't give him a chance to explain what had happened after all they'd been through. And another part of her mind, the really insecure part that she tried to keep locked down at all times, wondered if he was even looking for her.

It didn't matter, Caroline thought, she shouldn't trust him and she shouldn't want him to chase after her. He had made his choice.

So she made the birds sing for Elena and disappeared in the next moment, making the wind blow softly around this boy sitting all alone in a bench in Rome, showing up in Paris to make the heavy clouds turn into raindrops so that this couple could dance and laugh in the rain and stopping by in Tokyo to make a child smile as colourful butterflies flew around him.

And that became her routine, doing small good things for Elena and countless strangers around the world and even the exhaustion she felt at the end of each day was appreciated as it made her fall asleep quickly, too tired to think of Klaus.

Except for one night.

That one night when even all of her fatigue couldn't take him off of her mind and for the first time in months her thoughts weren't angry or sad; they were frustrated and full of desire and just so non-angelical…

Caroline was staying in a hotel room in Mystic Falls, not having wanted to fly all the way to heaven, and all she could think about was his hands touching her skin, about how it felt when his finger brushed against her folds in the sweetest of tortures. It wasn't long before she discarded her clothes, closing her eyes as she squeezed one of her breasts and moaned softly at the jolt of pleasure it sent towards her lower belly that made her press her thighs together, searching for some friction.

She could imagine his rough chuckle and smugness as he'd ask, "So wet for me, love?" when she'd spread her legs for him. Caroline's fingers drew some patterns on the inside of her thighs, teasing herself as he'd do just before finding her clit and, oh, the bastard would circle it so lightly, encouraging her to moan for him, he thought of each gasp as a prize, but he'd be after her desperation. He'd bring her to the edge and he'd stop, just so that she'd say please, so that she'd beg him to fuck her…

Her fingers paled in comparison to his cock, but they'd have to do. Her hand moved frantically and her hips chased it desperately, the brush of her fingertips against her walls felt so good and she just needed the release. Imagining Klaus's soft-spoken praises against her ear, telling her how pretty she looked when she came for him and how he had loved watching her made her cry out his name as everything went numbly pleasant, the pressure in her lower abdomen snapping.

Her body relaxed against the mattress and, covered in sweat and arousal, Caroline still didn't have it in her to be pained or furious. She just slept and dreamt of happier times.

The next morning, she promised herself it wouldn't happen again.

ii. dark wings

Elena's life seemed to be taking a turn for the best under Caroline's influence. Her smiles weren't all fake and she allowed herself to break down a few times, crying on her friends' shoulders every now and then, talking about her grief and letting herself have good moments despite all of the tragedy.

She was rather satisfied with her work; it felt good that something seemed to be going well, because, inside, she still felt like a huge disaster, a mess of emotions that contradicted themselves. Klaus had turned her into a fucking paradox as she both loathed and yearned for him.

Oh, her plan was still working wonderfully. They hadn't met a single time in the months she'd been on Earth, but she was getting so tired of running and hiding, both physically and emotionally.

In the first weeks, she thought more than a few times that she was doing it for nothing, that he wasn't even seeking her, but she now knew she had been wrong.

There was this feeling that there was something coming whenever she used powers, something that was just on the verge of showing up and she'd have to move fast if she wanted to avoid it. So she did. Caroline didn't have the time to appreciate the effects of her interferences – she just ran, going anywhere, it hardly matter. She just needed to make sure that Mystic Falls wasn't the place with the most influence of her powers, otherwise it'd be too obvious where she was spending most of her time.

And she tried so hard to keep it simple and practical, but failed tremendously at not feeling her heart warmed by the thought of him still caring about her, still wanting her. It was ridiculous and she hated the thought of being a girl pining over a boy who had wronged her, but love wasn't rational. And despite loving him so stupidly much, it just didn't mean that she didn't hate him too.

But even hating him was starting to get more and more difficult as things start to change slightly in their dynamic.

It first happened in New York, she had just made someone find a lucky penny when she saw it, just resting on pavement, a black rose. Normally, Caroline wouldn't have paid any attention to it, especially when she was about to get the hell out of there before he showed up, but there was something odd about it. Something painful, heartbroken.

It is just a flower, she tried to reason with herself, there's nothing special about it.

Caroline made her way to it anyway, picking it up with trembling hands and admiring it closely. The rose felt so sad and lonely that she wanted to cry, but it was still so achingly beautiful… Just as he had said those feelings could be.

Klaus.

She had gotten distracted and waited too long. She had to get out of there in that second or it'd be too late. She wasn't ready yet, damn it. Caroline spread her wings as fast as she could, ascending to the sky as fast as they'd allow, but she could swear that she'd gotten a glimpse of some familiar sand brown curls.

It only occurred to her later that she had kept the flower.

The roses kept on showing up whenever she went, a sign that he wasn't going to give up on her. And she couldn't help but to collect each one she found, her hotel room in Mystic Falls already had a few vases filled with them and their melancholic poetry.

It felt strangely good to know that he missed her and that he was willing to fight for her. Another pleasant feeling that went to her pile of "things to feel guilty for", but even that was starting to fade to the back of her mind, not cursing herself for every thought about him that wasn't furious or disappointed. She wasn't angry with herself for her mixed feelings anymore.

So one day, in Buenos Aires, Caroline had an idea as she took his rose, just an impulsive thought that she went through with before she had the chance to truly analyse her decision, conjuring a white tulip and leaving it on the place she had found his flower.

She didn't even know what the gesture meant herself, but she supposed she wanted to send him a message, something that would show to him that her perspective on things was shifting even if just a little, that his approach wasn't entirely unwelcomed, though she wasn't quite ready for a meeting yet.

Her action was appreciated, for the next time she sought for a rose, she didn't find any, encountering something else instead – one of his drawings, this one of her flying, wings spread and hair dancing with the wind, her hands gripping tightly onto one of his roses… It'd been the first one she'd found, that day she thought she had seen him. Clearly she had been right.

'My dearest Caroline, you look more beautiful than ever.'

With a smile on her face, she left him another flower, an unwritten thank you note, but as she took the drawing with her, she just knew that this almost meeting would taste bittersweet against his tongue and tiny part of her felt bad for it, she wasn't sure she wanted to make him suffer.

The roses never stopped, but he didn't send any other signs. No letter or more drawings, just the flowers that were filling her room in an alarming rhythm, and it made her wonder what he was planning. Klaus was patient, yes, but if he saw that his plan was working, then he'd move to the next phase. And there was a plan, of that much she was sure – he always had one, after all, and a few back up ones in case the first failed.

And as she was left wondering, Caroline kept on taking care of Elena, whose mood seemed to improve alongside with hers, happiness being more prominent for both of them. Mystic Falls seemed like a perfect place, with the bluest of skies and a beautiful sunshine.

The angel walked through the streets aimlessly, just enjoying how life seemed better and brighter, when she noticed something – a crow on the tree, looking at her with his incredibly black eyes that were almost unnoticeable amidst his dark feathers. He seemed to be made of shadows, but it was just so enchanting. She couldn't help but to get closer to it, to watch such marvellous creature in proximity. What a strange little bird, she thought amusedly, reaching out to him to touch its impossibly lightless body.

It flew away before she could fully close the distance, scaring her as he cawed so loudly and without stopping.

Animals weren't scared of angels. They usually welcomed their presences, became playful and loving, they did not look alarmed and they did not run away, screaming.

The noise wouldn't stop; the bird kept flying around her. It was agonizing, she couldn't concentrate, couldn't spread her wings and get out of there.

Caroline realized way too late that was exactly the intent – it was warning him of where she was.

The crow suddenly disappeared, the echoes of its cawing still ringing in her ears as she evened her breath, trying to gather what had happened. It was when she heard the footsteps coming towards her, felt the presence she had tried to avoid so much.

She looked up to meet his blue eyes and she felt all that she had felt in the past months in a few seconds of blurred emotions – disappointment, sadness, rage, loneliness, love, longing… In the end what prevailed was something that she had not quite realized that had been a constant presence in her all this time: fear.

Not of him, but for him.

She had been worried sick that he'd be punished for this, that something would happen to him and she wouldn't be able to save him.

It was what made her walk to Klaus, a frown in her face as her eyes scanned him, checking to make sure that he truly was okay. She forced herself not to be distracted by his uncovered abdomen and her gaze paused on his wings that had been tainted black, just as black as the crow's feathers.

Caroline touched the darkness, her fingertips caressing it softly. "What happened to you?" she asked, locking her eyes on his and he moved closer, resting his hand on her hip in such an intimate gesture that it felt strange to her.

She recoiled, pulling her hand away as if he had burnt her. She took a step away from him, spreading her wings, ready to flee one more time, but he quickly held her by the arm. "Caroline," he breathed, "please, let me explain."

Caroline shook her head, facing away from him, "What explanation can you possibly have? You abandoned me. You just left… No goodbye, no note, no anything. And then you chased me all over the world, gave me roses and a drawing and I just don't get it, Klaus. I really don't. If you wanted me, then why would you leave?"

"I'll explain everything," he vowed, "I promise you, Caroline. I just need you to come with me."

Klaus just stood there, offering his hand to her and with supplicating eyes. Oh, he had become way too good at making her start internal conflicts and this time was no different.

He was giving her a choice. One full of complications and implicit details… If she chose to leave, she'd spend the rest of forever running and hiding, sheltering herself from the truths that he would tell her that could alter her entire life. If she chose to go with, however, it wouldn't be just to hear his explanation. Choosing to go with Klaus meant she was willing to give him a chance, that he had a shot at her forgiveness and she knew him too well to know that he would not waste it. If she went with him, she wasn't sure there'd be a way back.

Caroline found herself placing her hand on top of his anyway.

iii. unholy heart

She had figured they would walk somewhere, that he'd buy her coffee and tell her what had happened, but instead, Caroline had been pulled to him, crashing against his chest and he held her for a moment, as the ground seemed to swallow them.

He let her go when they felt something beneath their feet once again and she opened her eyes to look around. They were in an opulent room with dark hardwood floor, a beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling and an enormous bed fit for a king, but what drew her attention the most was the window and the view it offered.

There was no sunshine and she couldn't even say that it was night for there was no stars or moon or even clouds to cover them. "Where are we?" she asked, her gaze finding what seemed to be a garden filled with the dark roses he'd given her.

"I suppose that's part of the explanation." Klaus said, "Would you like to sit?"

Caroline turned to look at him, seeing that he had put on a shirt now that his wings were concealed, letting him guide her to the armchairs in the corner of the room.

They sat, feeling a little awkward at the situation, both having it imagined multiple times and now that it was really happening, they didn't really know what to do, which came really unnaturally to those obsessed with being prepared for everything. "So… Will you tell me what happened?"

He nodded, taking a moment to choose his words carefully, "You have to understand, Caroline, it was never my intention to leave you. Unfortunately, that part of our plan came out wrong, it shouldn't have been this way. Well, I suppose I should start from the beginning, right?"

"That's usually a good place to start, yes."

"Very well, then. It all began at a meeting with my siblings to discuss the angels' works. Kol was making fun at me when we started discussing your performance – yes, you have always been excellent, no one has ever questioned that – and I did the same when we discussed Bonnie's… It wasn't long before we realized that each of us had a special relationship to one of the angels we'd trained. Of course, our relationships were the worst kept secret in heaven, at least between us, but it was the first time we actively thought about it and discussed it. And all of us felt something in common – fear. Tell me, love, in all of the time we were together, were you ever scared that they'd find out? That we would be punished for our love? Did you ever feel like our love was sin?"

Caroline did not hesitate to reply, "Yeah, all the time." she confessed.

"We all felt this way and we started feeling as if it was unfair. We spent so long making sure humans loved and lived, so why couldn't we? Why were our relationships frowned-upon? My siblings and I got angry, sweetheart, we didn't want to fear for us and for those we loved, so we came up with a plan. Everyone assumes that heaven is the only realm for us, the only place where we can extract power from, but we found out that it didn't have to be like this. There was another option. You see, heaven is powered by the prayers, by the pure thoughts and deeds, but we started to think about what powered hell and if we could connect ourselves to this source. So that's what we did."

Silent fell between them as she tried to absorb the story he had just told her, trying to connect the dots and just make sense out of it. "I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?" she asked, not knowing how if she should feel flattered about how he seemed to have done it for her or offended that he hadn't bothered to include her in it.

Klaus shook his head immediately, "It wasn't about trust, Caroline. We simply didn't know if it would work out or if it would kill us. We decided not to involve no one else until we were sure that we could do it, but once we did it-"

"You weren't allowed back in heaven." She completed his sentence; "You would've come back for me, then? You did this because you wanted to be with me?"

"It was always the plan coming back for you, I never wished for you to feel as if I had left you, because that was not true, Caroline. Being with you was the greatest motive for this." Klaus told her and she gave him a questioning look, silently asking what those other minor motives were, "Our powers are also increased, we have more freedom and I believe that the dark wings suit me better." He joked, trying to make the situation a little lighter.

She smiled, agreeing with him, deciding to ignore his other reasons for now. "They do look good, I suppose."

"Do you forgive me, then?"

Caroline thought about it for a few agonizing moments for him. She knew him, she knew he was telling the truth and she trusted him. It wasn't as hard as she thought it'd be after all these months, and even if she hadn't completely forgiven him yet, she knew she would. They could be okay.

"I will." She said at last, "You hurt me a lot, Klaus, but I love you and I understand why you did this. So, I'll forgive you. Future tense." Caroline added, looking into his eyes in the hopes he'd understand exactly what she saying

"Thank you." Klaus breathed honestly, his lips curving slightly at the happiness he felt. "There's something else I'd like to ask you, though."

She frowned, trying to think what it could be, her brain calculating the probabilities of something going wrong, something he hadn't told her yet. "What is it?" Caroline asked, alarmed.

"Will you stay here with me? Change the source of your power and become one of us?"

She laughed in relief at his question, the look on his eyes telling her that he did not appreciate her amusement, but he did not seem to mind her reply, "Obviously."

The genuine smile on his face made her smile too, as he once again offered her his hand and she once again took it, letting him pull her up. Caroline wasn't surprised when his lips touched hers and he was trying to be sweet and gentle so he wouldn't scare her, but she had missed him too much for this. She buried her hand on his hair, deepening the kiss and parting her lips to let his tongue caress hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to him.

His mouth left a trail of wet kisses down her jaw and neck as they stumbled to get to his – their? – bed, his hands ripping her dress in the middle, eager to explore all of the skin they had revealed. Caroline got her payback with his shirt, tearing it up to pieces that fell somewhere on the floor, touching his abdomen as she'd been wanting to do ever since he had showed up to her, her nails scratching it teasingly and she enjoyed feeling his muscles contract beneath her fingertips.

She fell onto bed, her back hitting the comfortable mattress, and Klaus was soon on top of her, his lips capturing one of her nipples through the thin material of her bra, his teeth biting it playfully, making her gasp softly. He pulled back to look at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world, and in that moment she felt like so.

Klaus helped her remove her bra, eyeing her breasts hungrily and licking his lips unconsciously. Caroline felt as if that was the perfect moment to tease him, "I felt so alone these past few months," she told him, grasping her breasts in her hands, "but I wanted you so bad that I had to take care of my needs by myself. I imagined you were watching me… Would you like to?"

He smirked, the bulge in his pants becoming more prominent at her words, "Perhaps another time, sweetheart. Right now, I want to touch you."

She wasn't about to argue with him on that, really, not when his fingers felt so incredible against her folds through her knickers. Klaus quickly hooked his fingers around the piece of fabric and pulled it down. He wanted her naked and spread for him, his name the only thing on her mind and lips.

Caroline looked at him expectantly as he paused, looking deeply into her eyes. "Are you sure about changing your source of power? You do realize that, if heaven gets its energy through good deeds-"

"Hell is powered by bad and sinful actions, yeah, I figured as much." She interrupted impatiently, "But we are technically bad and sinful, so who am I to judge? I want you, Klaus. And I choose you."

He seemed to accept her words, nodding solemnly and just like that, she knew what he was about to do. He started speak in some ancient language she did not understand, his fingertips tracing patterns onto random spots of her body, making her skin prickle. Klaus wrote indecipherable signs in-between her breasts, all the way down through her abdomen, in her arms, legs, he turned her around to draw on her back, on the curve of her arse… And everywhere he touched, it began to burn, her entire body desperately craving more of his touch.

She cried out his name repeatedly, pressing her thighs together in need for something to distract her from this need she felt for him, to consummate their choice, their unspoken promise of forever.

When he was finally over, he seemed to be determined to kiss every bit of skin he had touched, but she was far too impatient for that. His pants and briefs suffered the same destiny as his shirt and her dress, and just the sight of his cock made her groan in frustration, because he wasn't inside of her as he was supposed to be.

Klaus seemed to be highly amused by her dire need to have him and she could see by the glint in his eyes that he was tempted to extend her misery, to wait until she begged for him, but she didn't have the time for that. Caroline spread her legs invitingly, her hand wrapped around his erection as she guided him to her entrance. He slipped two fingers inside of her, revelling at how it felt to have her wet for him again.

He pressed a loving kiss to her lips before he entered her, beginning to move swiftly and roughly, encouraged by her loud moans and gasps. Fuck, he had missed her desperately. Caroline made the prettiest sounds when he filled her with his cock, always letting him know just how much he was pleasing her, how she enjoyed letting him have her and having him back.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, making him sink further inside of her, hitting all of the right places as the angle shifted just a little. "Niklaus!" she exclaimed his full name, making him curse under his breath.

He kept on thrusting inside of her, her hips always chasing his cock in this sweet desperation for release. "You feel so good, love." He praised, "I missed you."

His confession was pure in the middle of the carnal pleasure they were seeking, but it felt so good to hear, the weight of the insecurity of wondering if he had moved on disappearing with three simple words. "I missed you too." She told him, "Please, Klaus, I'm so fucking close."

Klaus moved faster, fucking her rough until she withering underneath him, a numb mess of flesh as bright dots blinded her and all she could feel was everything and nothing, whispering his name as she forgot her own.

He spilled inside of her not long after, the sight of her flushed and sated driving him off the edge. She was beautiful and she was his for all of eternity.

They only got a few moments to rest before their bodies demanded more and they gave and received so for the rest of the day and most of the night, sleeping in a tangled mess of intertwined limbs and soft love confessions being made quietly.

When they woke up, they were both feeling indescribably happy, laughing and talking as they stayed lazily in bed.

"So, am I the first one the fallen archangels corrupted?" Caroline questioned mockingly.

Klaus chuckled, "I'm afraid not, sweetheart. Katherine was convinced as soon as Elijah managed to find her, almost two months ago, and Sage has been here for a few weeks. Kol is feeling optimistic about Bonnie, but he's being delusional in my opinion. And Mark-"

"Matt." Caroline corrected him with an eye-roll.

"Matt hasn't left heaven yet; it's driving Rebekah up the walls, it's irritating. Poor lad, he doesn't even know what awaits him."

They bickered as Caroline called him out on being overprotective of Rebekah and disliking Matt just because they were in a relationship, which he denied doing, claiming that he didn't care who she ended up with, that he only wanted to annoy her.

It was only when they got up, after Klaus suggested they made good use of the shower, that Caroline realized that something felt weird… She felt different, though she couldn't quite place how. It still made her stop in front of the mirror in the corner of the room, watching her naked form in search for some physical sign of her internal changes.

It was looking at Klaus that she remembered what had drawn her attention when she had first seen again, so she spread her wings, wanting to see if they looked as different as she felt. And, oh, her once so white and pure feathers now looked like the stormiest shade of grey.

He came to stand behind her, caressing her wings lovingly, his arm wrapping around waist. His gaze sought hers through the mirror, silently asking if she had any regrets, but Caroline was looking at him in awe and she just smiled.

"They are gorgeous." she said, embracing her new life with the excitement of the love she felt for him.

And, yes, sadness, pain, loneliness, they each had their beauty, but there was something incredibly more delectable about completeness, about belonging. So they loved their sinful love and wrote the most fascinating poetry with the eternity they spent together.


This drabble was really fun for me to write and it's also my 100th drabble (not all of them are posted here)! So, tell me what you thought of it :)
Also, huge thanks to princess-of-the-worlds (tumblr) for her beta work.
Happy Holidays everyone!