Chapter 28 – Patton Girls Pandemonium
As usual, Toshiro was out on his morning jog with Matilda.
"Hey, Matilda, you know where I could take a dip around here?" He asked, starting off their morning conversation.
"The port." She answered straightforwardly.
"That's not exactly a bath I'm looking forward to…"
"You should ask Kei, she will help you with your quest for a bath."
"Well, thanks for the tip."
After the jog, Toshiro visited Keiko in her tent, who was still in her bed.
"What bring you here today, Toshiro?"
"Matilda said you could help me find a way to take a bath."
"Go take a dip in the port."
Toshiro looked at her with cold eyes.
"Okay, okay…" She giggled under her nose. "We have a deal with General Patton and his girls, so we can take a bath once every week. Nothing fancy though, just oil barrels filled with hot water."
"And why can't we do the same here?"
"Water is scarce here, Toshiro. The damn Liberians found a near endless water deposit under Gabr Saleh, so they built a base there."
"And I imagine it will cost me, huh?"
"Not that much… Only one pound for a half hour bath."
"Steep… But I reek like Gallian cheese… And I believe Shirley and Francesca wouldn't mind taking one either…"
"So should I phone them over in advance?"
"Yes please, table for three, heheh…"
"You and your tent mates have permission to go there." Keiko said after a short conversation over the phone. "Take your Strikers and have a nice one."
"Thank, Keiko, much appreciated."
"Now go out of my tent, you really stink…"
He wanted to turn back, but something caught his eye. It was the trumpet hanging over Keiko's bed.
"Hey, Keiko, about that trumpet?"
"You want it? I can give it to you!" She said with enthusiasm.
"Gah, what?! Why so fast to dispose of it?"
"I ordered it on some stupid whim… I wanted to play bugle calls for wakeup, but the girls are organized as it is…"
"I can't play a trumpet either but… I can try to learn, I mean I know the melody for some bugle calls…"
"I'll give you the trumpet when you'll be transferring out of here, so you won't have some stupid ideas, heh…"
"Okay. Now for some breakfast, and off I go!" Toshiro went back to his tent.
"Hey you two, wake up."
Shirley slowly opened her eyes, and with a groggy voice she asked, "What is it…?"
"I have a surprise for you two."
"Oh…?"
"We will be going to a remote base, in which we will be permitted to take a barrel bath."
"Woah, seriously?! My cooch is already…" Shirley blushed heavily. "Oh, heheh… you don't need to know that…"
I truly don't…
"Waah… What's the commotion?" The sleepy Francesca asked.
"We are going bathing, Lucchini!"
"Seriously?!"
"Yup, Toshiro said it."
"WOOOOAH! Finally! I feel that a little more and I would have to use a crowbar to rip off my panties…"
Unnecessary for fucks sake!
They passed the time listening to the radio. At breakfast, Toshiro asked Keiko, "Hey. Keiko, where is this Gabr Whatchacallit actually?"
"Gabr Saleh? Oh, heh, I didn't show you… It is about 75 kilometers south-west from Tobruk. I'll show it on a map after breakfast."
"Cousin, let's go bowling!" Mami suddenly shouted.
"Bowling in the middle of the desert?" Toshiro asked stupefied.
"Those damn Liberians have a bowling alley in their base! I want one too!"
Toshiro shot a quick glance to Tina, to which she gave an understanding wink.
"Maybe someday, Mami. Now I have to take care of my personal hygiene."
After breakfast, before he followed Keiko, Toshiro asked Furuko about yesterday.
"Hey, Ruko."
"What is it, Toshiro?"
"I noticed that you are rather familiar with Rommel… Care to elaborate?"
"Oh… Heh… Well, it was just after I got here. I was a newbie back then. I was just into Africa, walking three days straight through the desert, because some Romagnans tricked me into believing it would be quicker if I took the straight approach. Then, a halftrack with General Rommel and his men rolled out from behind a rock, with full speed. I wanted them to take me in, but in a second, a gigantic scorpion like Neuroi came into view. I was petrified from fear; however, a few seconds later Tina and Raisa came flying in, scaring off the Neuroi. The last thing I remember was General Rommel approaching me… Kei later told me that Rommel took me on his hands, and ran around the base shouting after a medic… So embarrassing…"
"Geheheh… Poor you… Thanks for sharing, one less thing to bother me."
"No problem."
Toshiro went into Keiko's tent. She had a map placed on the table. It was a simple black and white map, riddled with exotic names of various places. Keiko pointed out to one spot. "Here, Gabr Saleh."
"Okay…"
"Yuki, got it memorized."
"Wait a… Hmmm… Okay, got it."
"Yuki memorized it already, thanks."
"Convenient…" She muttered. "Oh, and take some light weaponry, just in case."
"Just in case?"
"Well, you encountered four Neuroi out of the blue yesterday…"
"Nah, fuck it. I'll just cut them down with my sword. Yesterday, I wanted the girls to have some fun, but I still was spent after my little running around…"
"You never cease to amaze me… Okay, go already."
"With pleasure."
"Oh, right… Any spare towels?"
"They have their own, don't worry. You'll even get soap and shampoo."
"Well, that makes the price a bit less horrible…"
After he went outside of the tent, the girls were already waiting for him eagerly.
"Come on you two, off we go."
"Yay!"
While underway, Toshiro asked Shirley, "Hey, since we will be in a Liberian base, why don't ask for some supplies? Maybe they'll give you a new radio?"
"You know what…? That's a super idea!"
"Heh… And Francesca…"
"Yes?" She asked innocently.
"For the love of whatever god you believe in, keep your mits to yourself! We don't need a certain situation to repeat itself, right?"
She shuddered, probably imagining it.
"Okay…"
"Now that we have that cleared…"
After a few minutes, they saw it - the Liberion base near Gabr Saleh. There was a long, paved runway crossing the whole base. Tents were virtually inexistent, since there were wooden barracks aplenty. An enormous hangar was protruding from the side of the runway, with its metal roof shining in the sun, and a smaller hangar was besides it. Dead center, a square two-story building was standing in solitude, reminding Toshiro of that in which the Pensacola base commander resided.
"Hey, sonny, I see you!" A familiar voice shouted through the transponder.
Toshiro quickly looked around the base, and saw a glint on the building's roof.
"General Patton, nice to see you too!"
"Come on down and let me give you a tour!"
"With pleasure!"
"P-P-Patton?!" Shirley shouted scared.
"Yeah, and?"
"Y-you know Patton?"
"Well pff, I also know your President, so?"
"YOU'VE MET PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT?! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT?!"
"Ssssshh, calm down, Charlotte… Geez… I forgot about it… I'll tell you later, we don't have the time right now…"
"Okay…" She said visibly displeased.
They landed using the long runway, and a member of the land crew showed them to taxi into the smaller hangar. Inside, there were two P-51 Mustangs, and a slew of Strikers, including those based of the aforementioned aircraft.
It didn't take long for Patton to drive up in a Willy's Jeep to meet them. He was driving the car personally, something unusual of people with such a high rank.
"Hop in you lot, no sense in running around here."
"Thank you, General." Toshiro said.
He sat beside Patton, and Francesca sat behind the General.
Toshiro looked at Shirley, and saw her frozen still in place.
"Shirley, come on, the good General won't bite you."
"Son, tell me, is that who I think she is?"
"And who do you think is it, General?"
"That lass that broke the sound barrier, and which helped you devise those Merlin upgrade plans."
"The very same, live, in color and with sound, General."
"Hmmm… She looks much better in person… If you know what I mean." He said while fluttering his eyebrows.
"Heh… Shirley, come on in here. You won't refuse TWO of your superiors, right?"
"Oh, no, no! I'm coming!"
She quickly jumped into the car and they drove a few dozens of meters to the next hangar.
The General got out and said, "Come on, I'll show you the big guns."
They followed him into the closed hangar. As they entered, their jaws collectively dropped. Almost innumerable amounts of tanks in various shapes and heights were standing in the squeaky-clean hangar, from entrance back to the wall.
"Well then, let's start from the beginning… This is the M18 'Hellcat'. Its armor is made of wet tissue and boogers, but oh boy can is speed! It can travel at well over sixty km/h on sand, and almost a hundred on tarmac!"
The 2.5-meter high tank with open top turret didn't look intimidating to Toshiro.
"Almost a hundred on tarmac? Are you using it as an emergency medical transport vehicle, General?"
"Sometimes… However, rarely is something left to pick up after a tank explodes… Well, anyway, let's move on."
As they moved on, they saw a row of stubby tanks, varying in hull shape, but all having some common traits.
"What you see there are Shermans in three variants. Those that have rounded sides are M4A1(76)W's. Those with mudguards and slanted front armor are M4A3E2's, but we call them 'Jumbo', because they have the thickest armor and are simply so fucking huge. Those without mudguards are M4A3E8's, or 'Easy Eight' for short. All have 76mm guns, just like the Hellcat."
"They look chubby." Francesca said.
"If looks of tanks were the deciding factor, then seeing the tank that Rommel drives the Neuroi should commit suicide."
"The Tiger?" Toshiro asked.
"No, some other tin can… That bald fucker won't let me at it closer than a thousand feet…"
"General, please show some restraint."
"Yeah, yeah, he's your superior or something, sorry… Moving on… The M36 'Jackson' Neuroi destroyer! That cannon obliterates Turtles, and can even punch a nice hole in Huge Turtles."
The hull looked like an elongated version of the E8, but the gun and turret were different. The turret had a bulge in the back, probably serving as an ammunition rack, and the gun was about 30% bigger, and with a ferocious muzzle break.
"Nice… But I see that the next tanks are even better."
"Ah yes, I see that you are looking at the M26 'Pershing'. We got them just recently, but they already have proven their worth in gold!"
Toshiro was looking at the tanks, but saw a different model. The gun was absurdly long, longer than that on the Tiger he drove. A plate of armor looking like a square mask with big ears was welded on the front side of the turret, and some armor plates were applied to the front hull armor as well. Also, a notable feature were two recoil buffers mounted on the right side of the turret.
"Hmmm… But there's one standing out? Is that some prototype, General?"
"Hah! At least nobody can't say you're blind! That's the T26E4 'Super Pershing'. It's a tad slow, but it even bounced some beams from the Neuroi!"
"Not bad… But what's THAT?!"
Toshiro pointed out at a pair of tanks behind the M26's. They were well over 3 meters high and 10 meters long, sported enormous turrets, and even bigger guns.
"Ahahah! These are our secret weapons! We got them just yesterday, so when Rommel sees those, he'll shit his pants and turn green! The one on the left is a T29, it has a 105mm gun, and the one on the right is a T30 with a 155mm gun. I was told that the T30 can destroy a bunker with one shot!"
Well, looks like we lost this race…
"Okay, take your jaw from the floor and let's go. These little shits are unimportant." Patton said pointing at a bunch of small self-propelled howitzers. "I believe you three came here to use our quality spa?"
"Well yes, General. But I believe Shirley here has a little request."
"I… Uh… I…"
"Well, then I'll vocalize her request. You see, since she was left alone by your army, she didn't get her pay. Also, she would like to receive a portable radio, as a replacement for one that broke down badly."
"Bah, that can be done! You want that, Captain Yeager?"
"Y-yes Sir!" Shirley somehow mustered the courage to say it.
"Then come by my office after you've taken a dip, I will have everything ready for you. Oh, the 'bath' is waiting for you in the back of the smaller hangar. I'll give you a ride."
As they went through the hangar, Shirley couldn't resist but to peek inside of the P-51 Strikers. Much to her amusement and satisfaction, all of them had modified engines.
"See, Toshiro? You did really well!"
"Heheh… Good things don't need to be advertised…"
A few meters farther, Toshiro spotted a wooden wall all across the end of the hangar, with a 'BATH' sign hung on top. There were doors in the wall, and a familiar face greeting them, holding a stack of towels, and small pail with bars of soap and shampoo bottles in them.
"Hey Major, you came for a dip?"
"Captain Johnson? What are you doing here?"
"I'm a man of many jobs. Well then, pay up, and you can proceed."
"Straight to the point as always…" Toshiro said while pulling out the money.
"Hah, a pleasure doing business with you! How's that fridge by the way?"
"Shirley fixed it in a matter of minutes."
"Well, you win some, you lose some… I thought it was messed up beyond repair… Here are your bath utensils, have a nice dip. I'll be going for a Cola."
Each of the three entered their own 'suite'. The interior was Spartan, with the bare hangar walls and metal floor. There was a small chair, on which Toshiro placed his clothes. The barrel, which was placed on sturdy bricks, was barely his size, but somehow he managed to fit in. After washing his hair, he just hunched in it to soak up a bit.
After a few minutes, Toshiro stood up, but at the same time, the door opened, and a blonde girl went it. She looked directly at his manly parts, and then slowly moved her eyes up. By the time their eyes met, her face was already redder than a glass of Porto.
"H-h-h-h-hi!" She managed to cough up.
"Hi." Toshiro said with a neutral voice.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" She suddenly screamed and ran out.
Well, fuck…
"Girls, there's some pervert in one of the barrels!" The blonde girl screamed outside.
"Let's beat him up!" Another voice joined in.
"Yeah, let's!" A third voice shouted.
Hmmmm... What do I care…
Toshiro stood like before as the three girls busted into the room.
The two unknown girls stopped in their tracks, and started looking at him with curiosity. One of them started apparently measuring his 'equipment' in a way a painter measures proportions using his thumb and an easel.
"Are you going to stare at my dick for the whole day, or will you say something? I paid for this bath, so either get out or get in."
The three got shocked and flustered at his words, but one of them managed to ask him a question.
"Um, pardon… But who are you?"
"Major Toshiro Edelweiss from the Karlslander Wehrmacht."
"A Major?! Woah shit! We're sorry for the intrusion!"
"We really are!"
"We truly are!"
"What's the ruckus here?!" A fourth voice shouted.
The girls turned back, and saw Shirley clad only in a towel.
"The three here interrupted me." Toshiro said calmly.
"But you don't have to expose your meat like that, you know?"
"Heh, right… Okay, everyone get the hell out so I can make myself decent."
He didn't have repeat that, because the three unknown girls vacated the room in a split second, closing the door behind them. He dried himself and put on his clothes.
After opening the door, he saw the girls being berated down into the ground by Shirley.
"Okay, Shirley, you can stop. I see that the Captain is getting back."
"Oh, okay… Wait, what Captain?" She looked to the right and saw Johnson with three Coke bottles. "Waaaah!" She screamed and went back inside to get dressed.
"Hey, Abigail, Marilyn, Patricia, what are you doing here? Wanted to sneak a bath while I'm not around?" The Captain asked.
"Eheheh… Yeah…"
"Sort of…"
"Pretty much…"
"And guessing by the sly smile on the Major's face, one or all of you bumped into him while bathing?"
The girls fell silent with redness all over their faces and ran away faster than the wind.
"Here, catch!" The Captain threw a bottle of Coke to him. "Part of the bath."
"Don't mind if I do…" Toshiro opened the frosty bottle and guzzled down the brown carbonated drink in one go. "Phaaaaaa… That hit the spot…"
"Oh, Cola! Can I have one?!" Shirley shouted from behind.
Johnson threw her a bottle, and she drank it even faster than Toshiro.
"Fweeeeee… I haven't had Cola since… My God, I can't even remember! And where's Lucchini?"
"I don't… Wait a second, don't say anything…"
Toshiro listened carefully, and heard a loud snore coming from the bath in which Francesca was.
The three of them giggled immediately.
"Okay, Shirley, go wake her up, I had enough 'contact' with the opposite sex for today…"
"Heheh…"
She went in, and after a few minutes both came out.
"Uwaaaah… I fell asleep, heehee…" Francesca said.
"Something to wake you up." Johnson said while throwing a Cola bottle to her.
She siphoned it down with a speed comparable to Toshiro, albeit a bit slower than Shirley did.
"Uuuuuuh… Good… So, what now?"
"We can go bowling…" Toshiro shrugged.
The lazy bowling session afterwards turned into a heated battle of supremacy, when the three girls from before joined them. Although they were the local champions, it turned out that Shirley was a junior champion, and Toshiro's aptitude for learning didn't go to waste either. Unexpectedly, Lucchini was playing very good, but Toshiro had a theory about the roundness and size of the balls, which could explain it. After rubbing in that the three girls lost, Toshiro and company went to Patton's office.
As in Pensacola, a Cerberus in the form of a red head secretary was sitting in the room before the General's office.
"You are the three visiting now, right?" The secretary asked.
"Yup." Toshiro confirmed.
The secretary rummaged under her desk, and with a slight grunt, she pulled out a sturdy green portable radio.
"The General said to give this to… Captain Yeager… And also…" She pulled out a fat envelope from the drawer. "… this is the due pay."
Shirley looked into the envelope, and saw a fistful of dollars.
"Just please sign this form, and you can go."
Shirley grabbed a pen and scribbled down a signature.
"Thank you. The General said that he won't be meeting you now, so you are clear to go."
They went to the hangar, and mounted their respective Striker Units. After being signaled for takeoff, they flew away, in the direction of their home base.
Back in the base, they bragged about how they demolished the Patton Girls at a bowling game, much to the amusement of everyone. Then, when they were alone, Toshiro told Shirley about his encounter with Roosevelt.
"… and that's how it was."
"Amazing… You really meet all the greatest people…"
"You really like that man, right?"
"Yes. He is leading our country in troubled times… I look up to him like if he would be my uncle…"
"Everybody's uncle, huh?"
"Heh, yeah…"
I don't have the heart to tell her what Yuki told me…
The rest of the day went smooth, and the last thought that Toshiro had before going to sleep was:
I wonder what will await me in the coming days…
GTA IV reference ahoy! Wonder if you'll find it :P
And if you want to praise/rant about my story, please leave a signed review, so we can continue via PM's. Seriously, I don't bite. Unless provoked :]
