Dreams of a Wounded
Heart©
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Heart Shaped Glass
By
Genevieve Lee
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Eight long, agonizing days went by and I waited for either my brother or Erik to come, but they never did. Worry settled in my stomach and the feeling of dread never left. What if something had happened to Christian on his way there? What is something had happened to Erik? My mind was overflowing with ridiculous ideas of what could have happened: the ship they were on sank, the train they took fell off the tracks, they got into a carriage accident--there were endless possibilities of what could have happened and none made me feel better.
My brother had also taken Farrah with him. She had quit, in the nicest way possible, and left about twelve hours after my brother as to not arouse suspicions. They had told me that they were in love, and wanted to get to know each other outside of our stifling home. I did not blame them. But this left me alone in the house. Everyone who had kept me sane was gone, except for Sophie of course.
The only good thing about Susan being gone was I did not have to worry about her safety concerning my father, who was the only one of my family left at the manor with me. Although I knew he was there to "keep an eye on me and make sure I behave" I knew something so much more could happen. I was lucky that it hadn't yet. I just prayed Erik or Christian would come rescue me before my good luck was challenged.
My lessons continued ruthlessly: painting, archery, horseback riding, singing, piano, dancing, and etiquette. It was as if they were sending me to finishing school, but everything had to be completed before my marriage date. Each teacher was roomed in the enormous house, and that made things no better. It seemed that no matter where I went, I was being judged by a different teacher. They were all excelling in their jobs, grateful for rooms as well as the high salary the De'lormes were paying them. I was exhausted by how much they were making me work. I scarcely had time for myself. When I did, it was spent writing and reading, and of course waiting. It had been four weeks since I was taken away from the opera house, and five since I had seen Erik. It was nothing short of torturous.
I had just finished a particularly agonizing waltzing lesson when Jason told me of some news.
"Your music teacher quit. She is getting married and is moving farther North." Jason shook his head as if it was a crime, and my spirits sagged. My teacher had been a very nice woman and I was sad to see her go. "So your music lesson is cancelled for today, but your new teacher will be coming tonight and you will continue lessons tomorrow."
I nodded and proceeded to my room to get ready for dinner, my new maid at my heels. The old spinster I had originally feared of getting was who had replaced Farrah. Her name was Beatrice, and she was middle aged, but looked a lot older. Her hair was always pulled into a tight bun, making her skin taut across her face. Her eyes were dull and never held any emotion in them. She was the kind of person that every time I made a wrong move would run off and tell Jason. Therefore, I did nothing that would displease her when she was around. She followed me everywhere as if gravity forced her to. When I did get time alone, truly alone, it was a miracle.
She helped me get ready for dinner that night. She arranged my hair in delicate curls before pulling it back at the nape of my neck. Some pieces were arranged artfully on my head and one was left to caress my neck. We then made our way over to the dressing screen where she helped me change.
I gasped, pulling forward and away from her. "That is tight enough! I can scarcely breath!" I said after a rather brutal tug on my corset strings.
"You must suffer to be beautiful." Was her response as she tightened it a tad more before she was done. I got into my gown, which this evening was a beautiful jade green. It hugged my bound hips tightly and revealed just a tad of skin at the top, nothing immodest though. The straps were slightly off the shoulder and the body of the gown fanned out elegantly. It was a simple but beautiful dress, one I had picked out when I had gone shopping with Farrah.
Beatrice had laid out my jewelry for me, and I was surprised to see my father's diamond necklace lying next to my engagement ring and a delicate bracelet of silver. I had never picked it up from its spot on the floor and I hadn't even seen it since that night. I glared at its sparkling beauty before I picked it up roughly. "I do not want to wear this one," I announced setting it in my jewelry box, where it would stay. Instead I picked up Erik's necklace and put it on. I had bought a new silver chain to replace the broken one.
After everything was in place, I turned to look in the mirror.
"The picture of loveliness," Beatrice said without a smile.
I was not looking at my entire self, but rather just the necklace alone. It looked simple and pretty with what I was wearing and I liked it. "Yes, thank you," I replied absently before turning and walking out the door. When I made it downstairs, everyone was walking towards the dinner table, and I proceeded to follow them, but Jason stopped me.
"Your new music instructor is here. I wanted to warn you that he was recently burned in a horrible fire and his face is bandaged. Do try not to stare," he chided, adjusting his cufflinks as he spoke.
"I think I can manage," I snapped, walking past him and to the dining room where everyone was already seated. I took my own which was on the left of Jason who sat at the head of the table. Opposite of him sat his father, and everyone else was arranged randomly, but I was forced to sit near Jason every evening. Conversations immediately launched and I found myself not intrigued by any, so as usual, I tuned everything out.
Dinner was usually not a pleasant experience for me. Everyone talked of our wedding, where we would live afterwards, or things like fashion and gossip, which were things I did not care about, and then there was politics and government, which I found all of their opinions lacking in knowledge and wit. So every night, I just focused on my food, poking, eating, and rearranging. This night was no different. Only the conversations were even more stifling than usual.
I poked at my salad idly, wondering what the main course could be, not that I could eat a lot of it with my corset cinched this tight. I was already short of breath. I looked down at the leafy greens in my bowl and took a few bites before rearranging it to look like I had eaten more than I did. If I was only able to eat a little, I was going to eat something that was more filling than lettuce. I bent forward to get my water and found that bending my spine was also impossible. In inwardly cursed Beatrice as I drug my whole body forward to gently take the glass. After I had taken a few sips, I set it within reach.
"Madeleine is excelling in archery. Isn't that right, dear?" Jason bragged to a coworker who had joined us for dinner.
"That is correct," I replied without enthusiasm, barley looking up to acknowledge the question.
Finally, the main course came. To my delight, it was chicken smothered in some kind of tasty sauce. As soon as everyone's plate was set down I began cutting and eating, trying to keep my pace slow enough so I would not call attention to myself. I knew that my etiquette teacher was always studying me during dinner, and it was embarrassing when she pointed out something I had done wrong. The witch could never wait to tell me in private afterwards.
After I finished eating, I looked up, not having my food to distract me anymore. My new music teacher was supposed to be here. I wondered what he looked like. I scanned all of the faces quietly, finally resting on the unfamiliar one. My heart dropped for a moment. The shape of his face reminded me of Erik, especially since half his face was bandaged up, with a small hole for his eye. But his hair was dirty blonde while Erik's was a very dark brown. It still opened the dull aching in my heart and I looked down, thoroughly chastened. To take my mind off of it, I began uninterestedly listening to Jason's conversation with his coworker.
"Yes, my wife was disappointed you could not make it to dinner Monday night."
"Well, I did come down with something. Did not last long though, as you can see!" Jason laughed well humouredly as he took a sip of his wine.
I looked up, feigning confusing. "But Jason, Monday night you were out with Johnson," I said, naming one of Jason's good friends, "Do not tell me you were out when you were sick!" I said with disapproval leaking from my tone. Though quite honestly, I was always finding little ways at getting back at Jason, but making myself seem quite innocent to the onlookers.
Jason looked panicked as his coworker stared at him in shock, appalled that he had lied to him. Jason threw me a hateful glance, but I did not show my betrayal in my expression.
"Men, let us go take brandy in the next room," Jason's father hurriedly said, eager to hold off this confrontation.
The men all murmured their agreements as everyone stood. I did as well, ready to go to sleep. But of course I had to first be formally introduced to my new music teacher. Jason's mother led me to him after dinner. He was on his way to his new room, to unpack his things I assumed, and Jason's mother stopped him.
"Oh, monsieur! Wait a moment!"
The man turned at her voice, his eyes landing on me. I looked down as we walked forward.
"This is your new student, Madeleine Annabel Taylor. She was denied a proper education growing up, so we have to be sure she is well educated when she is married to my son, Jason come Christmas Eve." She finally turned to me, her sharp voice beckoning me to look up. "Madeleine, this is your new teacher, Monsieur Charles Devereaux. He comes all the way from Rouen, France."
I finally looked up, but this time, any chance of speaking froze in my throat. His eyes! They were the same color as Erik's, hazel with gold flicked in them. That is when I noticed his body. It was the same built and height as Erik's. It was at that moment that I finally understood. This man was Erik in disguise! He was certainly qualified to be a music instructor and that would explain why it had taken him so long to get here, because he had to make the plans to get hired.
My heartbeat quickened and my eyes bulged out. Everything about me expressed complete and total surprise. A smile spread across my face and at that moment, Erik knew I had figured it out. We held each other's gaze for longer than was polite before Jason's mother cleared her throat behind us. It took all I had to not just fall into his embrace at that very moment, and I could see in his taut muscles of his arms he was struggling with the very same thing.
The smile did not leave my lips as I lifted my hand to him, which he took and kissed. "Pleased to meet you Monsieur Devereaux."
"The pleasure is mine, Mademoiselle Taylor."
I swooned for a moment before Jason's mother interrupted. "Yes, well that is enough. Come now Madeleine, you still have your etiquette lesson with Miss Lauren."
I suppressed a groan. I had forgotten I had one more lesson before I was allowed leave. I was reluctant to go, but Jason's mother grabbed my hand and led me away. I threw about ten glances behind my shoulder as I was tugged down the hall, smiling like a fool, all of which Erik returned.
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"I would be much obliged if you left me alone now," I said, looking annoyingly at Beatrice.
"Sorry Miss Taylor, but I must stay here until you go to bed."
I pursed my lips. How was I going to see Erik with Beatrice hovering over my every move? "That is what I am doing," I said, standing from my vanity. "Will you help me out of my corset?"
She agreed, and with the help of a wall to brace myself against, we finally got my corset off. My stomach and back had imprints of the corset on them, and were rubbed red. I looked annoyingly at Beatrice. "Perhaps not so tight next time," I suggested innocently, but I knew my eyes were probably aflame.
"Perhaps," she said quietly, handing me my nightgown. She left me alone behind my dressing screen. I removed my petticoats and stockings before slipping into the soft nightgown. After I had taken all the pins from my hair and set aside my engagement ring, I crawled into bed to satisfy Beatrice. I gave her a happy smile; I had barley stopped grinning since I saw Erik, and folded the blankets over me. "Goodnight Beatrice."
"Goodnight Miss Taylor." She turned my lights down and left.
I laid in my bed listening to her footsteps fading down the hallway. I heard her enter her room, and I waited about ten minutes until I was sure everyone was safely in their beds. I kicked the covers off of me and stood quietly on my floor. I stopped and listened, but I heard nothing so I proceeded to my door. I swung it open and suddenly Erik flew around the corner, coming in and shutting the door before I could even take another single step forward.
In half a second I was in his arms, and though I had hoped I wouldn't, I cried. I was just so happy to see him. He pulled away from me and moved my hair back, gathering my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Madeleine…Madeleine, are you alright?"
I stepped forward and laid my head on his chest. "Oh Erik…" I sniffed. "I'm fine now that you're here. I was so worried…"
"It's alright, I'm here now. I am sorry it took so long."
"No, you are here sooner than I thought you would be." I breathed in his scent, pushing myself closer to him, his arms tightened around me. He laid his head on top of my own, and we remained like that for many long minutes, just holding each other, grateful for the other's presence.
"Did you my brother help you get the job?" I asked curiously.
"Christian? Yes, he did," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Good man."
I returned with a smile of my own. After a few minutes, Erik pulled back to look at me.
"Madeleine, be honest with me. Has Jason done anything to you?"
"Besides annoying the bloody hell out of me, no," I answered honestly. I reached up to touch the gauze on his face. "A very creative disguise, I must admit." I touched the false blonde hair before taking off the wig to reveal his real hair. I set my hand on the gauze, and he nodded, letting me unwind it. A fresh round of tears sprung to my eyes when his disguise was finally ripped away but I held them back and grinned instead.
"Madeleine…" He murmured, pulling me to him again, but this time, he kissed me. I fell into it immediately, wanting to forget my last kiss with Jason. Our lips met with such hunger for one another, it stole the breath out of me. Our lips moved feverishly over one another. This was by far the most passionate kiss we had ever shared.
He pulled away, much too soon for my liking, and he leaned his forehead against my own. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He sighed in relief, as if he wasn't sure I still felt that way. He closed his eyes for a moment. "We are leaving tomorrow night."
My heart beat out an irregular rhythm. "What?" I pulled away.
Erik looked hurt and confused. "I thought that's what you wanted."
"It is, but Susan! She's not here, we have to wait for her!" I said, panicked as I took a step back.
A hard look fell over Erik's face. "I will not allow you to remain here!"
I laid a hand on my stomach, attempting to even out my breathing that had still not recovered from our kiss. "No! Erik," I swallowed nervously, looking up at him, "you remember about my father, right?"
"Yes." The answer was more like a growl than a spoken word.
I ignored it. "He's doing the same thing to Susan! She told me. She is gone visiting her mother with mine. They should be back within," I paused, looking down, not knowing what Erik's reaction would be, "the next two weeks."
"That is completely im--"
"No, Erik! Just listen! We could go take her now, but her mother is ill. If we take her now she may not be able to see her again. And if we leave, there will be people around constantly, all wound up about my going missing. If we attempted to come back, we could get caught!" I breathed heavily from my rant, but Erik remained silent. He was facing away from me, towards the window. "I cannot let her go through that. It isn't right for me to be selfish right now." It was still quiet, and I held my hands in front of me, looking down awkwardly. I could tell from the way he was standing that he was tense. "Please?" I tried, my voice sounding weak, even to my ears.
Finally, he looked at me. "If they are not here in two weeks time, we are leaving."
I sighed in relief, knowing that it was plenty of time. "Thank you."
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"Don't let him have control!" my instructor yelled.
"I'm trying," I said as the horse fought against the reins, taking advantage of my lack of skills. The horse I was riding, Charm, reared and I let out a surprised yelp. I slammed my weight down as my teacher had told me to do, forcing the horse back down. Charm snorted and shook his head, finally settling beneath me. I gave a sigh of relief as I adjusted my skirts to lie over my legs. I threw my braid over my shoulder and smiled down at my instructor, Mister Starbick, who shook his head.
"You let the horse have too much power," he assessed, patting the horse on his large shoulder.
"It's hard when I have to have both blasted legs on one side," I mumbled irritably as I adjusted the reins in my hand.
"A letter for you, sir."
"Thank you." I heard Jason accept the paper. He was monitoring my lessons, as usual. I took my focus off of him, and listened as Mister Starbick critiqued my riding.
"Bloody hell!" Jason yelled, throwing down the paper and stepping on it.
The sudden noise of his voice and of the paper crumbling behind him where he could not see sent Charm into a sudden frenzy. He snorted and shook his head, taking a jerky step forward, fighting for control.
"Woah boy! It's alright," I crooned, trying to calm him. My attempts were in vain; he reared again, and I kept my hands tight on the reins.
"Do something, you fool!" I heard Jason say, and I saw my instructor come forward to the already frightened horse.
The attempt to calm him only fueled his startled state more, and before my instructor could grab the reins, he sped forward, and I held on for my life. I could hear everyone yelling behind me, but my attention was turned to the beast under me. He sped off at a run, faster than I had ever gone and I found it was quite a smooth gait. He continued, going through the front gate of the manor, and we entered the thick tree growth right outside the property. I ducked under the tree branches and clutched to his mane, finding I had a better grip there.
I could feel my heart pounding relentlessly as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, while attempting to throw one leg over the other side. After a moment, I had secured a leg on each side, thus giving me better control. I sat up, clutching the reins and pulling back, hard. He skittered to a stop after a moment and shook his head, giving a low neigh.
"Yes, I know it wasn't your fault. It was the imbecile of a fiancé of mine, wasn't it?" I said, stroking his neck. I could hear the distant sounds of everyone looking for me and I sighed. "I don't want to go back yet. After horseback riding I have to practice waltzing." I made a face. "Let's say you and I stay out for a bit longer?" He snorted in response and I took that for an agreement. I smiled and sent him into a trot towards the beach.
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After a full hour I decided it was time to go back. Everyone was probably in a frenzy, wondering where I could be. I got atop Charm again, keeping both legs on one side so I would not have to be lectured when I got back. It took about twenty-five minutes to return, and when I did, my father, Jason, Erik, and a few of my other teachers were standing on the lawn looking nervous. Everyone visibly relaxed as I came riding in. I met Erik's eyes and I cringed. He looked unhappy. I hadn't thought about what I did would affect him. While I was lost in Erik's gaze, I pulled the horse to a stop and jumped down.
"Madeleine!" Jason breathed a sigh of relief as he came towards me. "Your idiotic teacher is out looking for you."
I took a step back. "It is your fault the horse took off. You startled him," I pointed out as I clutched the reins beneath Charm's chin.
Jason ignored me, and pointed to Erik. "You, help her take the horse back to the stables while we go find Mister Starbick."
Erik nodded and walked forward, taking the reins from my hand. I inwardly sighed in relief, glad Jason was not going with me. I watched as he turned and left with my archery instructor on two more horses that were waiting. We both started towards the stables, which were not very far away. Once we were out of everyone's earshot, Erik looked down at me.
"Are you alright?"
I nodded and grinned. "He only ran for a little ways before I got control of him." I giggled. "I may have taken advantage of the situation. I went down to the shore for a little while."
Erik smiled, looking relieved. "Well good news," he said as we reached the stables and walked inside. "You missed your waltzing lesson," he ignored the face I made, "and now it is time for music."
I grinned back, looking around to make sure we were alone, before I stood on tiptoe and gave him a sweet kiss. "Yes, that is good news," I said when I pulled away and went into his waiting arms. I sighed into his chest as he stroked my hair. "I still can't believe you're here…"
"Neither can I. When I received your letter about your marriage I thought I was going to be too late. By the way, how did you manage changing the date?"
I giggled. "Oh, my mother was complaining about how I never got to have an engagement party, and with Christian's help, we persuaded them to make that night my engagement party instead, and then the wedding got set for an even later date." I sighed. "You know you arrived only a day after I left."
"Yes, Madame Giry told me. This could have all been prevented if I had come quicker."
I shook my head against his chest. "No, you wouldn't have been able to make it either way. We sent the letter as soon as we could."
Erik pulled back from me. "Why did you leave?" Anger crossed his face as he spoke. "I asked you to stay there. I knew something would happen if you left."
I cringed, knowing I deserved it. "I wanted to finally do what I was afraid of, to stand up to my parents about Jason. About everything," I amended quietly. "You wouldn't have let me go."
"No," he agreed.
"It was obviously the wrong decision."
"Yes, it was."
I bit my lower lip and looked up at him. "Please don't be angry."
He sighed, pushing a lock of hair away that had escaped my braid. "I am angry at myself above all. I shouldn't have left for that long."
I looked down and took a deep breath. It fell quiet for a few minutes, and after the extended silence, Erik lifted my chin up with his finger. "I am not angry, I promise. I am, but not at you. If anyone it is your father and Jason," he cringed as he said the name, bringing a light smile to my face.
"Yes, they are quite awful aren't they?" I asked, happy for the lighter tone.
He didn't respond, but looked away, over my shoulder. "How did you find out about Susan?"
"She told me," I said quietly, fiddling idly with the corner of the collar on his shirt. "I had her sleep in my room when I found out."
"What did your father think?"
I cringed, remembering the night he gave me the necklace. I refused to meet Erik's gaze, as I said, "Nothing, I don't think he noticed."
"There is something you are not telling me," he murmured gently.
I looked nervously over my shoulder and then looked back at him, dropping my arms. "I better leave. They will grow suspicious," I said, directly ignoring the question.
He sighed as he let his arms drop as well. I felt awful for lying to him, but there was no reason to tell him what had happened that night. It would only make him angry.
I heard Jason call my name and I looked grimly outside. "I should go," I said, and when Erik did not respond, I did so. Not turning back to look at him, knowing my expression would betray me.
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Genny's Note: Wow. I had such an adventurous day. Haha. I will be writing about it in my LiveJournal tomorrow if you wanna read. (:
Anyways...
Hope you liked this chapter! I do! I'm all jazzed right now. Don't ask. New chapter soon!!!
