Disclaimer – This is Stephenie Meyer's universe. I'm just playing in her world for a bit. Any names and characters not found in Stephenie Meyer's books could be my creation though.

My thanks to my friend and beta Liljenrocks for not giving up on me and for letting me vent so much. You've been very kind and patient my friend. A belated Happy Birthday once more.

My thanks to melwolfgirl for helping me get my head straight again and all her super valuable words of advice. Check out her stories, they'll blow your mind.

And my thanks also to all of you wonderful readers and reviewers. This story is pretty close to the end. Only about 4 chapters or so to go. Hopefully I won't delay much anymore. I'm sorry I dropped off the face of the planet. I've been out of sorts lately and could not bring my head around to write. I've not even answered any of your reviews although I read everyone of them. I'm sorry about that, I promise to reply from this chapter onwards.

How the Mighty Fall

Chapter 28: Great Expectations

4th February 2007

We return now to Volterra. Aro knows, he must. Why else would we have been summoned back like this and ordered to take a flight? Or perhaps it is Caius? He has always been more astute than anyone has ever given him credit for. But that matters not. Nothing else matters but Gianna and the baby, they must remain safe. They matter. They both matter.

I acknowledge you, my child. I acknowledge you and I swear that I have not forsaken you. I feel you now, deep down inside and I know that you are born now and are well, and I can't help but worry about your mother. Without me with her at this moment would mean her death and yet I sent her away so you could live. And with my death, it would mean that you go on living. I can only hope and pray that you have what it takes to save your mother. You will need her and she needs you now. I pray that it is not all wishful thinking on my part

Circumstances are such and I beg you to carry with you the knowledge that I wish we could have lived as a family. You, your mother, and I. That is what I would have given you if things were different. We would have been a family, a happy family. I wish I could see you and watch you grow and touch you and teach you and guide you to be the person you are destined to become. But that is not to be.

I died many years ago. Since then, I simply existed for a long period of time until the day I met your mother and I became alive once again from that day forward. And I do not know if my writings will ever reach you. If they don't, it means you were never found and you are safe. SAFE. But call this the fancy of a dying man, a fantasy that you my child does get to read this, and you know that I love you and I do what I do to keep you safe. With that fantasy is also fear. Fear that if you do get to read this, then you know the kind of monster your father was. I have done things that would frighten and disgust you. When faced with the knowledge that I have a child, my own actions now shame me. Do not carry that with you, whatever you read in my journals, do not carry with you the person I was. Just know this, from the moment that I knew that your mother and I had created you, I have loved you. My child, my child, how I wish I could hail to you.

I am a guard with the Volturi and I have had a good life. If you do have my journals, then it would be Felix who gave them to you and you would surely know what the Volturi is. But being a high guard in the Volturi does not give me the option to step away or to retire and this is not the place for you. This never should be the place for you. That is why I sent your mother away, while I lead the guard in another direction. She has to get you to safety and I pray that she remains safe as well. I wish that I could have been there for the both of you. I want you to be free and happy and most of all I want you to find love. Do not be afraid to love.

There are just so many thoughts and wishes I want to leave for you. So many things that I want to share with you. If by some miracle your mother does survive, I want you to obey her and listen to everything she says and help her. She loves me so much and I need you to be her support. Please my child, this is the only thing I ask of you. Love your mother.

I want to tell you who your people are, of the bloodlines you come from, of your grandmother and how much she would have loved you if she was still alive. But we reach our destination soon and time is of a factor. And if I cease being, you get to go on living and I am focused on that.

So I leave you with this to carry for all time. You were conceived in love, my child. Your mother loves you and I, your father, love you. I already am so very proud of you. When you grow up, I wish that you find love, the deep abiding love that your mother and I shared and when you find that love, you hold on to it tight and love with every fiber of your being. Trust me, it will be worth it. Have a family and live for your mother and me. Live the life that we never had. Have the kind of happiness that was denied us. I wish that for you, my child. Happiness and love. Everything else is secondary.

You are the beloved child of Demetri Maxuysha Kobyla and Gianna Elisabetta Pacitti.

Petra
I crumpled up the paper after reading it one more time, then with a gasp I placed it on the floor and smoothed out the wrinkles. I was acting like a crazy person, I knew that, but I couldn't help what I was feeling. Embry hovered nervously at the kitchen doorway. He had tried to take me into his arms earlier but I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want anybody. I just wanted my locket and a chance to come to terms with everything that had happened.

It was a month of many revelations. Felix sent my father's journals to Carlisle. They were packed in a huge wooden box and the family brought it over to my house immediately, which was the day after my big party. There were many leather bound books in the box. I heard Carlisle and Esme whispering about how the journals were handmade and that it was exquisite workmanship. I wanted to touch the journals, I wanted to read them. I wanted to know everything about the man who was my father. Would he have written about my mother? Did he know about me? Would he have mentioned me? All these question plagued my mind and suddenly I was scared. What if I didn't like what I read? I just sat on the floor in front of the open box and waited, I didn't know for what.

Embry squatted down next to me then. He reached out and grabbed the topmost journal and handed it to me. Seeing my husband, his strong hand touching something my father once touched moved me in a strange way. What would my father have thought of Embry? He looked after me so well. How would a true vampire feel knowing that his child was mated to a wolf? I looked up at Embry in a pleading manner. I was scared suddenly. I wanted Embry. I only wanted Embry.

"It's just your dad's words, Petra. From a long time ago. If you don't like anything in there, just stop reading, baby." I cried then but Embry didn't console me like he usually does when I cry. "Petra, look at me. Look at me!" He sounded so stern, I looked at him. "I'm your now, Petra, and I'm your future. Those are just words from your past. You can't go backwards in time. Read this or not, it doesn't change where we are today or where we will be tomorrow."

I nodded but I was still unsure. I still couldn't make myself touch the journals. I wondered why Papa was not helping me with my emotions. Then Embry picked up the top of the box and made to shut it. "Alright, let me just stick this in the attic. Let's forget we ever even got it."

"No Embry! I-I want to read it. I just…please? I need to know I was not a nobody. Please, Embry."

He gave in just like that and set the top of the box back on the floor and I touched the journal for the first time. I wondered if my father was a spirit like in Billy's stories when he talks about the spirits of the ancestors that watch over us. I wondered if he knows that I have his words now so I can know him.

But nothing ever comes easy for me. Never. My heart broke again when I flipped through the pages. Every single book was covered in my father's small handwriting. I learned that day that he wrote for years and years in his beautiful curvy writing using a fountain pen. The ink was always a dark, dark blue. I learned that day he was left handed based on the slants of the words he wrote. I learnt that day that every entry he wrote was in Russian and I couldn't read a single word of Russian.

Edward stepped up to help me then, when he saw how upset I was. He offered to teach me Russian so that I could read the journals. I accepted, but still, how fast would I really learn to read and understand a whole new language? It was unfair, so unfair.

"Edward, couldn't you translate something for Petra? It must be so frustrating to have all these journals and not know what's in then. They're from her father, Edward. Nessie has such easy access to you. And Charlie is still there for me. Couldn't you?" Bella left her question to Edward unfinished but I knew they were still communicating from the fierce expression on her face.

Edward sighed then and came forward to flip through some of the journals. When he was satisfied with three particular volumes, he asked me gravely, "Petra, Demitri starts mentioning your mother from these books. If you'd like me to, I could translate them into English for you. The rest of the books, I'm afraid you'll have to tackle on your own once you're an expert in Russian," he smiled.

"Yes, oh yes, please, Edward," I sprouted like a water pipe again.

Papa came forward to hug me and help me to stop crying while out of the corner of my eyes, I watched Embry shake Edward's hand and softly say, "Thanks man."

Another revelation I had was that I was not pregnant as I dreamt of being. First the thirst started as a tickle at the back of my mouth. It was easy to ignore as I went about my happy life as Embry's wife. But then it got stronger and Embry started noticing that I was looking pale. No amount of makeup would fool him. And when the shaking started, he called Papa. Papa and Alice came and to my humiliation, they explained to Embry that I needed to hunt, that I needed blood.

That was my secret, something I never wanted Embry to know but there were no rats in the house, I searched. Nor were there any rabbits running around in the backyard and I promised Embry that I would never go wandering about the woods on my own. So what could I have done? But my secret was out and I avoided Embry's eyes the entire day, even after Embry and Papa had walked off into the woods with a mug and when they came back Embry sat the mug in front of me and urged me to drink it.

It was when I saw him washing off a small knife in the sink that I realized he had drained the blood for me, not Papa. But still, I couldn't face him when I thanked him. And long after Papa and Alice had left, Embry had forced me into his lap and explained to me that he knew about my need for blood. He reminded me that he loves me and that I was his imprint and even the Spirits above didn't find anything wrong with my little condition.

"But you had to kill because of me, Embry!" I sobbed.

"Actually, I had a craving for your French rabbit stew. You know the one you made that day that Emily and Sam came over? It was really good. So I went out and got two rabbits, all dressed and stuffed them in the fridge. I don't suppose you would be a loving wife and make some for your poor husband, huh?"

I laughed. How like Embry to make the hunt all about him? It was easier for me to accept things this way. I drink the blood and he eats the meat. We were both in this together and he helped me realize that. I seem to lose sight of that a lot.

Then came my dreaded period, the sure sign that I was not pregnant. I was actually in Nessie's house playing with the boys when I felt the familiar cramps and I had to get a tampon from Nessie. I was upset, especially looking at Bodhi who was sitting up now, and was so chubby and cuddly. I asked Nessie how long she was married before she had Griffin.

"Hmm…about four years. At first we wanted to wait before we had a baby, then when we were ready, I just was not getting pregnant. But we kept trying and that little mister came to be," she grinned.

"Why didn't you get pregnant when you were ready Nessie?"

"I don't know, Petra. Sometimes we think we're ready but our bodies just aren't ready. Anyway, you're newly married, enjoy the couplehood for some time before you start thinking kids. They are a joy, but once you have them, you have them forever, so this is your only chance for being just the two of you for quite awhile."

I stayed silent. She wouldn't understand. She grew up with the family and Jacob grew up with his father and sister. But Embry and I had no one and we wanted a family, we wanted to be a family. It didn't matter what anyone said, I needed to get pregnant. I needed to make Embry happy. Oh God, how I hated myself at that moment.

Once again I had felt embarrassed facing Embry, guilty too. Embry loves sex but I really didn't want to, feeling messy as I was. He tried kissing me and touching me in all the places that I liked him to touch and I almost gave in time and again. Until I had to stop him for the third time when he reached for my panties and this time I had to tell him why.

"Embry, Embry, we can't," I moaned into his mouth, trying to get the strength to deny him.

"Yes we can, baby, I'll show you how," he rumbled cheekily as he continued to work his magic on my breast while he expertly wedged his knee between my thighs.

The touch of his hand as he pulled my panties to the side was enough to give me the strength born out of nowhere. I managed to scuttle out from under him and pulled the comforter up around my body before he could blink.

"Petra? What's wrong?"

"We can't, we can't, Embry," I wailed.

"Why not? We're married now, baby."

"We can't, Embry. We just can't, okay!" I was close to tears and I knew without a doubt that my face was bright red.

Understanding flared in Embry's eyes then. "Petra, I know you're having your period, I can smell it. But we still can, baby."

I was hopelessly embarrassed and he laughed softly. "Silly, Petra. I want you to do something for me. Will you? Please?" I nodded, slightly worried that he might want me to have sex after all. "Will you please talk to me? Tell me straight off 'Hey Embry, I don't want to make love tonight.'"

"But I'm your wife, Embry. I'm not supposed to say no to you."

He laughed then. It didn't sound like he was making fun of me. It sounded like his happy laugh. He reached over to pull me into his arms; I let him. Sometimes it's really hard to say no to him. "Baby, listen to me okay. I'm your husband and you're my wife. I'm not your boss or your stupid Padron-asshole. I'm your husband. I'm your equal. We're two halves to a whole, Petra. We make a unit, okay? So you get to say no to me, and I get to say no to you."

What he said made me happy. I would probably have to sit and think about all his words but right now I just reacted to the happy feeling as I peeked up at him. "You would say no to me, Embry?" I could never imagine Embry saying no to sex. From all the stories I've heard and how he's been with me since we've been married, I knew without a doubt that Embry is a person who probably wouldn't be able to live without sex.

I was surprised when he nodded seriously. "Wipe that smirk off your face, you naughty girl. I was not just talking about making love, okay? Saying no goes for anything we face." I laughed. Embry really never says no to me.

He said no to me a few days later. Well, not exactly a no, but it was denial all the same. Embry and me, as well as Nessie, Jacob and the boys were asked to have dinner at the family house. I knew it must be something serious that they wanted to share with us and at the same time it felt nice to be invited like this, like we were an extended family, which we were but it just felt nice to think about. And I was right, there was serious news that they wanted to share. We were told that night that the family was moving back to Minnesota, that they've lingered in Forks for too long and it was getting too dangerous for them to remain longer. Edward and Bella were going to stay on a little longer in their little cottage in the woods. It was hard for them to leave the boys.

The news upset me very much. I didn't want them to go. I had gotten so used to having Papa and the family so close to me. I could come and go as I liked. I wanted them to stay in Forks and I wanted to live with Embry and that made life exactly how I wanted it to be. But Papa gently explained that it was not real life. Wives remained with their husbands, I was told to look at Nessie. But how could they compare me to Nessie? Edward and Bella were still going to remain. I didn't care that they were only staying for a couple of months. The fact was that they were staying.

"Fine. Then Embry and I are coming with you." I turned to Embry then. He never says no to me, he always says I can have anything that I want. But Embry looked uncomfortable as he sat there staring at me. "Embry, please? I want to be with you but I want to be with the family too. Please? Let's go to Minnesota with the family. Please, Embry."

"Petra, I can't, baby. My place is here. I have to remain here."

I gasped, shocked with his reply. He never says no. "You lied to me, Embry! You lied!" I was screaming, I was aware of my raised voice but I couldn't help myself. I felt betrayed. I turned and ran up the stairs and into my old bedroom. I threw myself onto the bed and sobbed.
Within moments I felt the bed sink beside me and I knew that Embry was there. I turned over to look at him when he didn't touch me. Embry always touches me, even when we were not having sex. He lay on his back beside me staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. I sat up so I could look at him better, to glare at him too. He smiled his one-sided smile and my heart skipped a beat as my anger slipped away. Now only the upset feeling remained and my eyes filled with tears again. He groaned then and reached out to pull me down on top of him. I buried my face into his neck and let the tears flow as he gently rubbed my back.

"You make it really hard for me, Petra. I want to give you everything you want and it hurts me to upset you like this. But baby, my work is here. I can't leave the plant. And there's the pack. I can't leave, Petra, not yet anyway. I'm responsible for the people on this land. I'm tied here, Petra. It's what made me a wolf and it's what made me imprint on you."

I gasped and raised my head up so fast that I knocked against Embry's jaw. I held myself up so I could look into his eyes. He's a wolf, the pack was here. Of course. I was so stupid that I hadn't realized it. He not only protected the people, but he was also responsible for the young wolves who must learn from him. There were so many young wolves now and Embry sometimes tells me sadly how young they are or angrily how they're all idiots. It was so stupid of me to try to take him away from all that. His place is here and my place is here beside him.

"I'm sorry, Embry. I didn't think. I forgot about the wolf business. I'm not a very good wife, am I?"

He pulled me down again to cuddle me closer. "You're my perfect wife, okay? I'm sorry I made you sad, baby."

"You didn't make me sad, Embry. I'm just sad that the family is moving away. I wish Papa and Alice would stay longer like Edward and Bella."

"I'm sure they want to. But you know Alice isn't going to be happy hiding in the woods and they have their own things to do, Petra. But you know what, baby?"

"What Embry?" I sniffed.

"You get to call them everyday and we can fly out and visit them now and then. They may even sneak into town occasionally to see you and when they do, they can stay with us. You can put them up in the guest room and it would be your turn to look after them."

He made me actually look forward to the family leaving just so they would come visit and stay with Embry and me in our house.

Embry

"Embry?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you think when we have children Papa will love them like Edward loves Griffin and Bodhi?"

We were both sitting in Jake's backyard after an impromptu pack gathering that spurred Nessie into throwing together a quickie barbeque. Some of us were still there sitting in the shade in what seemed to be a rare and sunny day. A sparkling Edward in full grandfather mode had Bodhi in his arms while he jogged around the backyard with a determined Griffin trying to catch him. Bodhi's delighted chortle filling the air, making more than one adult in attendance smile.

"Yeah, for sure," I smiled down at her.

The thoughts of a child of our own as always filled me with a certain pleasure. I turned to watch Edward making a fool of himself with his grandsons. I understood what Carlisle had meant when he said Petra wasn't ready for motherhood. She was still so innocent in so many ways. A child now would only overwhelm her. Hell, it would overwhelm me too. I was no Jacob where everything just came easily to me. From my imprinting to falling in love to getting married and setting up house, I did not have even an ounce of the finesse that Jacob had. Still Petra and I were happily stumbling along and discovering new things along the way. Everything about my marriage was still such a novelty for me. I'd never slept with the same woman night after night before. These days I can't imagine sleeping without holding on to at least Petra's little finger through the night. I never worried about any female before, these days I find myself calling Petra a few times during the day to find out where she was, what she was going, what she was thinking, what she was wearing..

"I guess he's still too busy to translate my father's journals."

I turned to look at her again when I heard the wistful tone in her voice. I had to grit my teeth. I guess twenty-four hours a day wasn't enough for Edward even though he needed no sleep. Since the rest of the Cullens left, he has been spending the days at Jake's place, watching the boys with Bella while Nessie paints, then he had been running patrol with us wolves and helping with the training with the new pack. I guess what little private time he had, he was spending with his wife, which is something I could totally understand now that I'm also a happily married man.

"I'll talk to him before we leave, Petra. See if I can hurry him along a little," I said somewhat reluctantly. I wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something was up with Jake's boys and that's why Edward was spending so much time with them. Jake wasn't saying anything, and I was not going to ask.

"Oh no, Embry. Please don't. Once Edward and Bella leave for Minnesota, they won't get chance to see Griffin and Bodhi so often. Please, let's not disturb him.

A couple of days later, after a satisfying breakfast at home, I was about to jog down the stairs to my basement garage and head for work when Petra stopped me with a soft little question. "Embry? If I was pregnant, would you love our baby even before he is born?" I was shocked, stunned really and I almost tripped and tumbled head first down the stairs. "I was just wondering, if my father knew my mother was pregnant, would he have loved me already? I just can't stop thinking about it, Embry."

I licked my suddenly dry lips. The thought of loving my child was still reeling in my head and I gritted my teeth. Damn Edward. He's had Petra's dad's journals for almost a month and to date he has given her nothing. Petra was patient, one of her many virtues, but that didn't mean that she was not eager and curious. This was almost like stringing her emotions along and that was cruel. And anyone being cruel to my wife is not something that I would tolerate.

That's what brought me to the little cottage in the middle of the forest after work. I guess he had been expecting me, he probably 'heard' me coming. I wondered for probably the millionth time how Jake could stand having his father-in-law in his head all the time. I usually find my thoughts heading in the sex-rated direction a few times a day. I know Jake, he's no angel and I'd bet all his sex-rated thoughts would be about Edward-the-mind-reader's daughter so if Edward was still—

The door to the cottage flew open and Edward stood there in the doorway glowering at me.

"Bella shields both Jake's and Nessie's thought for me. But she isn't here right now, so there's no blocking your mind, so do you mind?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Sorry, man," I mumbled, suddenly feeling acutely embarrassed even if it hadn't been my own sex-rated thought that I had been reflecting on.

I followed him into his little house and watched as he sat himself down behind a desk he's placed in an angle in their living room. I noticed with a sense of satisfaction that he had been working on the Volturi vamp's journals.

He looked up at me then. "I have been working on them. But his entries aren't entirely of Gianna. If I was to give Petra entries as and when I translate them, it wouldn't help her in anyway. It may confuse her."

"Edward, she gets disappointed. She watches as your car goes by my house on the way to Jake's everyday. And she has this sad look when you don't stop."

"Embry, I'm at the early days still. Her blood sings to him. Demitri was dark. He writes about the temptation of draining her while making love to her. All this at a point when he's not even said hello to her yet. If Petra reads that, then has to wait for later entries, it might, I don't know, affect her somehow."

"Edward, seeing the disappointment in her eyes everyday is killing me, man. I feel so useless," I paused there. I couldn't go on. I wanted to give Petra the world, I swore that I'd make her happy and it's really dumb that I didn't know a lick of Russian to translate the damn journals for her myself.

He stared at me for a long while, sitting so still that he could've been a statue, then he sighed and reached for one of the other journals on the desk, one that he hadn't been working on. "This was the very last entry. It would have been better is she read everything from the start, but I suppose this last entry would be enough to tide her over until I finish translating the rest."

I got home just as Petra was putting the finishing touches on dinner. She was still a firm believer in garnishing. I couldn't wait to give her Edward's translation. She's been wondering about her background for so long, this was perfect. I hated to admit it, but it made even a cynic like me feel touched. It almost made me feel sorry for the Volturi bastard.

I let her talk me into having dinner first, she chattered up a storm telling me about her day with Claire, of the things she was out buying. I didn't have the heart to stop her rambling and I enjoyed the closeness as I usually did when she tells me things.

"Did your team finish your bike, Embry? Was the paintwork what you expected?"

"Oh, yes, it was beautifully done. Quil never disappoints. I took the bike for a spin, rides like a beauty. Are you sure I can't make you one?"

"No!" she laughed. "I'd rather just ride with you on your bike, Embry. Riding on a bike without you scares me."

"There's nothing scary, baby. I was doing crazy stunts on a bike when I was just a kid."

She shook her head smiling, even her eyes twinkled. "You still do crazy stunts."

"Yeah, I do," I grinned at her. "Hey Petra, I took a drive over to Edward's place just now."

"It's Edward and Bella's place, Embry. They live there together."

Typical of Petra to focus on that and not what the meeting with Edward could imply. She picked up our empty plates and walked to the sink. She was trying to act cool, but I could see it in her eyes. Hope was there and she was trying to push it away to avoid the temptation. I pulled out the carefully folded piece of paper and she stared at it from across the room.

"Edward hasn't finished his translations. He wants to finish the whole thing before he gives it to you." I watched as she nodded. "I asked him for something, anything. The wait was killing me, so I can only imagine how much worse it must be for you," she nodded again and her huge green eyes were filled this time with a sort of longing that I just couldn't put a name to.

"Embry, Embry, I just want to know if they left me on that farm," her voice hitched. "Would he have come for me if he lived? I just want to know that I was wanted, I'm not evil, Embry. I'm not a mistake."

I was there by her side in the very next second as I gently took her into my arms. "You're not a mistake, Petra. You were specially made for me, baby. So I want you to stop having thoughts of that sort. If anything was a mistake, it was you ending up at that fucking farm." I shoved the piece of paper into her hand. "Read this. It is the last and final entry your father made. He wrote to you directly. Read it and then don't ever let me hear you say you're evil or a mistake again."

On my way home, I pictured so many scenarios of Petra reading the entry. Tears, laughter, relief. But I never expected her to shove herself out of my arms and slide down to the floor in tears. I tried to gather her up but she started shrieking. "Let me go! Leave me alone! Don't touch me!" Words she had never said to me before.

I knew that she was reacting to whatever emotion she was feeling but it fucking hurt just the same. Rejection from Petra was like a jagged edged knife being shoved into my gut and twisted. I eased back and stood by the doorway, not really ready to leave her completely alone like she demanded. My heart twisted as I watched her sob. She crumpled up the paper then she spread it out on the floor as it the crumpling part was unintended. Her behavior was so erratic that I was confused. If anything, I'd have thought she would have been happy to read what was in that paper.

Then suddenly she looked up at me, staring at me with a look of shock on her face. I braced myself, not knowing what to expect and then she was in my arms, clutching me close to her.
"Embry, Embry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, Embry."

"Shhh…" I crushed her closer. I didn't know if I was offering comfort or taking it from her.

"Oh, Embry, they wanted me, they wanted me. My father said he loved me and I was not even born yet. He had never seen me before. If my father hadn't died, I wouldn't have had to spend all those years in the farm," she started sobbing. "I was always so cold, Embry, so, so cold and hungry, always hungry. I still remember the hunger."

"You'll never be hungry or cold again," I vowed.

"Oh, Embry, please, please you have to do something. If we have children and something happens to us. Oh please, don't let them be cold or hungry. Please, Embry."

"Never, baby. I promise you that. When we have kids, we'll be with them always. We'll give them everything that we didn't have. Our children will grow up with both sets of parents."

She always sounds like we were going to have kids tomorrow, but I knew that she had an IUD so she was just reacting to the information she had learnt from the journal. Let's face it, we're both not emotionally ready for the step of parenthood just yet. But still, making plans for our future children was not just fancy thoughts or words. I meant every promise I made to her. If we had children, none of them would ever find themselves in the situation that Petra was ever in. My own childhood was miles different and better than Petra's. Hell, it was Petra who made me realize that my mother loved me in her own twisted way. Petra's parents loved her too. I guess in a way, that's why Petra and I were meant for each other. We were both screwed up in so many ways and together we were healing and healing each other.

A/N : The journals would start opening Petra's eyes more. Well, that's my plan at least...