First of all, I throughly apologize for the two weeks delay but just got back to college and between that and work you know how it gets. I don't know if I told you before but I'm studying film production and I'm working on a short-film right now so that's taking a lot of my time. Plus I sprained my right wrist and typing with only my left hand is a pain in the ass.
Also, I'm sorry to inform you that as from now on... I'll be updating every 10 days instead of 7 days... life is being crazy and as important stuff is coming I don't want to rush it, but I promise long chapters!
Once again thank you sooo much for your amazing reviews! They mean the world to me! Also, OMC is now on The Writer's Coffee Shop if you want to read it over there although I haven't uploaded all the chapters there.
I want to thank Lisopera for pre-reading this chapter and for her support, love and passion for this story. You are one of a kind! Thank you so much.
WARNING: This chapter is not beta'ed, my Betta Cattinson has RL too so she could do it and I didn't want to keep you waiting too long, so between Lisopera and I we tried to make it right, but you must know English isn't our first language so there might be a few mistakes still.
But, the show must go on!
Stephenie Meyer owns everything, although I have the pride of owning Andrew and Marie... I just love those kids!
Chapter 28: Never Say Never
"Never Say Never" – The Fray
There's some things we don't talk about
rather do without, and just hold the smile
falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of
together all the while
You can never say never
why we don't know when, time and time again
younger now than we were before
Don´t let me go
don´t let me go
don´t let me go
Picture you´re the queen of everything
as far as the eye can see, under your command
I will be your guardian, when all is crumbling
steady your hand
You can never say never
why we don´t know when time, time and time again
younger now then we were before
…
We're pulling apart, and coming together
again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together,
pull it together, together again
"Oh god." Dad choked.
"I know… it's unbelievable." I agreed, my mind still in chaos, not wanting to comprehend what was happening.
"Where did you find this?" Dad said aghast, finally tearing his eyes from the old sheets of paper clutched in his still trembling hands and looked at me with troubled eyes.
"Inside Andrew's photo album… it was sealed so I don't think he ever read it." I answered his question.
"What is it?" Mom asked for the tenth time and dad reluctantly handed her the letter. She didn't go too far before she stood from the big couch in my parent's living room, angry tears streaming down her face.
And she just lost it.
"Dear god!" She cried. "Is this real?!"
"I'm sorry mom." I said, quickly standing up and wrapping my arms around her comfort.
After I have read the damn letter for about 50 times and the initial shock have passed, I hurriedly put on a sweater and immediately drove to my parent's house. It was already late, so at first they were on edge, until I calmed them down and told them Bella and the kids were fine but I have something very important to show them. I gave Dad the letter first as I knew he would take the news better than mom, which I was right as she was now a mess in my arms, crying and yelling nonsense…
I sat us back on the couch and I let her ruin my shirt as she cried and a huge knot formed in my throat. Her pain, which mirrored mine was intensified with the knowledge that tomorrow, or should I say today -as it was already past midnight- was Andrew's 14th anniversary. How ironic that we find out about this today of all days.
"THAT BITCH! THAT HEARTLESS BITCH!" Mom screamed again and again "WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINKS SHE IS! HOW COULD SHE!" Mom demanded.
"Shhh… I'm sorry mom, I'm so sorry." I tried to sooth her although the blood rushing through my veins made it hard. I couldn't really concentrate with all kinds of thoughts swirling inside my head.
"Why didn't your brother say anything?! Huh?! Was he scared of us?! We would have supported him!"
"Mom, I think he never got the chance… she acted before he could even do anything…"
I tried to reason with her, although I still couldn't believe Andrew had kept this to himself. I couldn't believe he never said anything to me, we shared each other everything. I knew something was bothering him those days before we left for grandma's. I remembered clearly that day he broke down in our room over something Tanya did, he was so upset he even convinced Dad to leave two days earlier for our grandparent's. But it never crossed my mind it would be something like this, even after reading the letter a bunch of times I still have a hard time believing it.
"Still… he should have said something right away! Oh god, oh god! To think we could have had a little piece of him now! Oh my god… my baby, my Andy! I'm so stupid! How didn't I see what was going on!" Mom sobbed agonizingly in my arms.
I understand mom's pain of course, but I was at a loss to what to do or say to make this better. The situation was so fucked up… and it took us all by surprise. How come Andrew never told me he and Tanya had a thing?! Granted he didn't have feelings for her, I remember him being head over heels in love with Emma, even though after they broke up. I think Tanya must have been a rebound. I remember teasing him once about Tanya having a crush on him, but he had said that they were just friends, but clearly they had been more than friends at some point, and… according to this letter… Andrew wasn't just a friend to Tanya.
I remember him sneaking out of classes with Tanya, they had begun spending even more time together after our birthday, he had stayed until late at night at her house several times, Tanya was always glued to his side. But I thought it was normal for them. They were attached to the hip since toddlers. When did things fucking change!
Dad kneeled in front of us, taking my mom's hands in his searching for her eyes but mom refused to look at anyone. To hurt to think of anything else than her precious Andy and what Tanya did.
"Sweetheart… it's okay, take a breath… it wasn't your fault, he was fifteen… he was a boy… and Tanya was just a year older than him… she must have gotten scared too." Dad tried to reason "It's nobody's fault."
"She killed my dead son's baby," mom hissed lividly and I winced at her for saying the words out loud "how do you fucking expect me to be fucking calm!"
"I know love, but we can't do anything about it now… instead of focusing on that let's focus on what all this means." He said meaningful, glancing now at me and I instantly knew what he meant, he didn't have to say it out loud. That was the only thing I've been thinking about since the letter finally sunk in.
Tanya was never obsessed with me.
She was obsessed with Andrew.
And this explained a lot… a fucking lot! It was all so surreal, hard to wrap all around my head as I still have a hard time to even believe the contents of that fucking letter. It felt like in a fucking bad soap opera.
In the letter she apologized to Andrew for what she did, for… getting rid of the baby… and claimed that she loved him… more than her own life. That she only did it because of him, because she feared he would hate her as they were so young. She threatened to kill herself if he ever left her, and that reminded me of the same threats she threw at me years ago when I ended things with her. It was so sick, so fucked up… did she really think I was Andrew? Was she that crazy?
"What do you think about all this?" Dad brought me back to the present.
"I think… I think… fuck! This is so sick…" I said disgusted "but I think this finally explains Tanya's obsession…"
"What are you talking about?" Mom cried.
"Don't you see?" I stared at her bewildered at the same time that all the missing pieces of this fucked up past years started to fall together.
Tanya went crazy exactly a year after Andrew's death… around the same time I left for college when I graduated early from high school. I never saw her again and god only knows what she did all that time, what she fed her mind with… maybe she was in denial… and that's why she started with her bad habits. Then she saw me again that Thanksgiving dinner when she came with her family… she asked me out and you know the rest… she was never obsessed with me… somehow… I was Andrew to her.
God.
"Think about it!" I urged mom "Andrew died, they were at bad terms, she felt guilty about what she did, she loved him and clearly never got over his death, she started drinking and doing drugs… years later, she saw me… his twin and all hell breaks on earth."
Mom gasped when it finally downed on her.
"Oh god… but… why would she tried to kill you that time then? If she claimed to love… Andrew?"
"I don't know… it still doesn't make much sense but it's not just about drugs anymore… Tanya is mental, she needs another kind of help. She is in love with a ghost… That's why rehab hasn't worked for her… this goes way deeper. She's obviously guilty about getting rid of Andrew's… baby…" I said through gritted teeth as I still have a hard time processing that, "so imagine what his death must have meant to her… She was trying to fix it… using me as a replacement. Remember when she claimed she was pregnant with my baby, although that was impossible?"
Because I never had sex with her the short months we were together.
"Yes, yes… Oh god… I can't believe this, do you think El and Carmen know?" Dad asked mom and she shook her head.
"No, I don't think so… if they had known… they would have helped her then and I'm sure they would have told us… and as Edward said they would have given her the appropriate care." Mom mussed deep in thought "Although if Irina knew… why didn't she helped her? She is a psychologist."
"It's unethical to treat your own family and next of kin". I answered immediately.
"But she could have said something… warned El and Carmen at least." She pressed.
"Maybe she did? Or maybe she tried to talk Tanya into some senses but didn't work out?" Dad suggested.
"Irina was very loyal to Tanya… I guess she made her swore not to tell anyone… they are Denalis, they only care about their reputation… Tanya wouldn't want anyone to know she got knocked up at sixteen and Irina must have supported her. At least she told Andrew about the whole thing, obviously against Tanya's wishes."
"But… when Tanya went crazy why didn't she tell anyone?" Mom insisted.
I thought for a moment… but didn't have any answer. I knew Tanya and Irina haven't been that close since I left for college, I guess I understood why know. Tanya must have resented Irina for telling Andrew about the abortion, making Andrew hate her. That must have been a hell of a fight. Maybe that's why Irina kept silent, trying not to make matters worse for Tanya, as she must have been grieving enough to add her parent's wrath and gossip. They were all about reputation, especially Carmen.
"Damn it! This is so confusing… what's wrong with that family? Why are we even friends with them?!" Mom said frustrated.
Dad chuckled in spite of himself.
"You are saying that because you are mad, but Carmen is your oldest friend and Eleazar is a good man, too soft for a lawyer I'll say."
"Well, their daughter has caused so much grief to my family I feel like killing them for creating such a monster of a daughter. She killed… my grandson…" Mom cried again "destroyed Edward's life, humiliated Bella… threatened my family's happiness… ugh!"
"I know mom…" I said trying to regain my temper, I was mad now… mad at Tanya and her sick ways, mad at Irina for keeping this secret to herself for so long, hurt because Andrew did not trust me enough about something as big as this. "but at least now we know why… and we need to talk to uncle El and aunt Carmen… they need to know." I said urgently.
"What about Bella?" Dad asked and I hesitated before answering.
"Of course I'll tell her… I'm afraid of her reaction though."
"Why is that?"
I shrugged.
"I don't know… she feels guilty about tons of things… and this will re-open old wounds… but I know I have to tell her."
"Well, at least we know now that all that woman did was on purpose, she planned it all… she's mental so you are not responsible for what had happened, in fact you are lucky that it was only as far as she got, she's dangerous." Dad stated.
A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered Tanya's eyes when she tried to run me over with her white shiny Audi.
"We'll talk to Carmen and Eleazar when they come to Thanksgiving on Thursday." Dad said firmly then.
"You are still inviting them?!" I shrieked incredulous.
"Son, I think this would be the only chance we'll have to talk to them… they'll be leaving for Quebec on Friday to spend the holidays so now is a necessity… they need to know."
"Can't you meet them sometime during the week?"
They both shook their heads.
"They are leaving for Montreal tomorrow morning… visiting Carmen's Dad at the Retirement House before leaving for Quebec for the holidays." Mom explained.
"Damn it!" I yelled, I was so out of luck.
This would make things even more awkward. I know it was none of their fault for what Tanya did but they are her family… this whole situation was so fucked up! And now I was on edge and paranoid, with all this weird things that have been going on lately and learning about how fucked up Tanya is, just made me even more freaked out.
The phone calls, my missing sweater, the fucking rat and now… The neighbor's Mercedes took the front of my mind for some reason. It suddenly felt out of place… I didn't see it again after brunch two weeks ago until last night when Bella and I went to the gala –at two in the morning- and it had British Columbia plates, not Ontario's which made things even more fucked up! Why would the neighbor's have British Columbia plates instead of Ontario's?
Somehow I had this gut feeling that this was not coincidence, that something was wrong. Maybe it was because I learned how fucked up Tanya is or maybe not, but gut feeling is gut feeling and I learned to trust it the hard way. But if Tanya was still in Vancouver… as in British Columbia's Vancouver –that's what made me more nervous about the Mercedes- then who was behind this, if there was someone behind it, or maybe I have just gone crazy with speculation. I wouldn't be surprised though, this past months had taken a toll on me so I might have gone mad after all.
"Who else is coming?" I asked in a hard voice.
"Well honey," Mom started sheepishly "aside from the Denalis… your god parents are coming too, Aro and Renata are so excited about meeting your kids" Mom smiled tenderly trying to ease my mood "Tyler and Gianna but you already knew that, then there will be Jasper's parents, Jessica and her boyfriend and of course Lee will be here too and that's all."
I scoffed in annoyance.
I thought it was going to be small this year… but 21 fucking people plus the kids wasn't small if you ask me. And I feared it would all overwhelm Bella and the kids, not to mention what all this pressure was doing to me especially with all the things that have happened lately.
"What troubles you son?" Dad inquired, looking at me in that way he did when he studied me for years after Bella left.
I shook my head.
"Nothing, it's just that some things have been strange lately, and with what we learned tonight I don't know what to think anymore. I'm probably just being paranoid though…"
"You are tired, it's been a long weekend." Mom said "Why don't you go home and rest?"
Home? That sounded just fine to me.
I parked my car next to Bella's SUV on the driveway. I scanned the dark deserted street for anything out of place but of course saw nothing. I stepped out of my car and retrieved my cell from my pocket and typed Bella a text. My body aching for her… I need her presence to calm my nerves.
Are you up? –E
Luckily she answered seconds later.
Maaaybe? What are you up to? –B
I smiled at her playfulness. Forgetting for a minute about what just happened at my parent's house.
I miss you –E
I miss you too… I'm cold without you :( -B
A huge fucking smile spread over my face, I went around the house and open the door to the backyard with my spare key. I look up to Bella's balcony and saw a glint of light coming out of her window. I grabbed a couple of pebbles from the ground and threw them at her window making faint noises, feeling like a fucking teenager… so eager, excited and nervous to see her in the middle of the night. A minute later Bella opened the door to her balcony, a cautious look on her beautiful features but smiled widely as soon as she saw me. She recline herself on the balcony and rested her chin on her hand.
"What are you doing." She whisper yelled at me, but I could hear the humor in her voice.
"You said you missed me." I said matter-of-factly and she rolled her eyes.
"I did…" she chuckled "you scared me though."
"I'm sorry…" I winced "did I wake ya?"
"No, couldn't sleep so I was going through some manuscripts but I welcome the distraction. So… are you going to climb up that tree and come into my room or what? I wasn't lying when I said I was cold." She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I laughed.
"You know love, it would be my pleasure but I'm not that young anymore and have two kids I wish to see growing up." I teased.
"Alright," she giggled "I'll be down in a minute."
"I'll be waiting here." I winked.
She nodded and disappeared into her room. I walked up the stairs to the back porch and sat on the swing. I saw Sam come from his spot in the living room to the window next to the swing to greet me, moving his tail happily.
"Hey boy!" I greeted him knocking on the window lightly and he barked. "Shh!" I laughed "Your little masters are asleep buddy!" He barked again and I chuckled.
The light in the kitchen flicked on and I stood up, a minute later Bella opened the back door and threw herself at me playfully, locking her arms around my neck and circling my waist with her legs before kissing me soundly.
"That's what I call a greeting." I chuckled between kisses and she giggled making that lovely sound that I adored.
I walked into the kitchen closed the door with my left feet and sat her on the counter. We continued to kiss passionately for a few minutes, her sweet breath fucking with my mind and rendering me to her. My hands roamed freely on her back while she pulled at my hair and pulled me closer to her with her heels on my ass.
Too soon for my liking she parted for air and I pressed my forehead on her shoulder and breathe her in. I needed that so much as I was still wary and edgy after tonight's events. She caressed the back of my neck and I hummed approvingly as I sucked gently on her long lean neck, then lifted my head to see her in the light of the kitchen, needing to see her properly.
As soon as I saw her I did a double take.
"Is that my U of T sweater?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows and she blushed.
"Uhmm maybe?" She said sheepishly "You left it here the night of the storm."
Oh, that's right! So maybe I was being paranoid, but could you really blame me with my past?
"Oh, right… I forgot." I said wanting to slap myself but kissed her nose instead.
"I'm sorry… I'll give it back to you." She blushed harder and I placed a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Don't be silly, keep it. It looks better on you after all." I kissed her lips chastely and she smiled.
"But, it's your favorite sweater." She frowned.
"It was only my favorite cause you used to wear it all the time, so it smelled like you." I confessed and she beamed at me kissing me back.
"Thanks, I missed this sweater." She said giving me another grateful kiss, then leaned away and the smile on her face vanished, a concerned look taking its place.
"What's with the worry face?"
"Worry face?" I chuckled.
"Yes, worry face… you have your worry face on right now." She lifted her hand and lightly pressed her thumb into the middle of my eyebrows. "Your eyebrows are furrowed, your eyes are unfocused and your smile is not full." She listed, sometimes I hated it that she knew me so well.
I sighed.
"There's something I need to tell you," I admitted reluctantly "but can we talk about it tomorrow?"
"You are scaring me." She said disentangling herself from me.
"It's not something bad… but it's serious," I said placing my hands on either side of her hips "I just don't want to talk about it now because it would be a long talk and… I'm exhausted… and have a headache. But I promise I'll tell you about it tomorrow after we visit Andrew."
"Ok, but… nothing is wrong right? We are ok?" She asked insecure and I widened my eyes at the way her thoughts had gone.
"Oh, No! We are perfect… it's not about us, I mean… it concerns us but not in that way… It's more about my brother."
"Which one?"
"Andrew."
She let out a sigh of relief, but her eyes were still wary.
"Bella, we are fine I promise… I love you." I said taking her face in my hands and kissing her forehead "Do I have to tattoo that on your pretty little forehead for you to remember that?"
She chuckled and her eyes finally cleared.
"I'm sorry… Ok, we'll talk tomorrow… and… taking the opportunity," She said suddenly nervous, her eyes down casted as she bit her lip "I need to tell you something too."
I frowned.
"What about?"
"I need… to tell you something… but, I prefer if we talk about it tomorrow too."
"Ok?" I said eyeing her curiously, she kept her eyes out of mine so I lift her chin with my index finger and stared at her. "Are you Ok?"
"I will be." She said cryptically, not helping me with my worry but she immediately shook her glum mood out of her body and plastered a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes on her face.
"So, to what do I owe the honor of your visit at" She checked her watch "three in the morning?" She changed the subject.
I shrugged.
"I missed you… I wanted to see you."
"So you just got out of your house and drove here? What if I wasn't up?" She teased and I smirked playfully and nuzzled her neck.
"I would have sneaked into the house…" I said trailing light kisses along her jaw "and wake you up with kisses, just how you like it if I remember correctly." I teased feeling her bare thighs with my hands as she was wearing her damn shorts again.
"Damn! I should have pretended to be asleep then!" She said with mock annoyance.
"We could try that next time." I winked at her and she beamed at me. "But I wasn't coming from my house, I was at my parents."
"Your parents?" She frowned.
"Tomorrow." I said.
"Tomorrow." She agreed and studied my face carefully. "You do look tired." She said tracing her thumbs under my eyes "Are you Ok?"
"Yes, it has been a long weekend that's all." I tried to calm her but of course she didn't buy it. "I promise… I'm fine."
"Alright, I'll pretend that I believe you this time cause I know you are tired and need to rest." She chastised me and I chuckled.
"Thanks… I'll better go then. It'll be a long day tomorrow." I kiss her lips goodbye but when I pull away she didn't let me go, instead gripping the hem of my sweater pulling me back to her.
"And where do you think you are going?" She said raising an eyebrow.
"Uhmm… to my house? To sleep?" I said scratching my head in confusion.
She shook her head.
"You are already here… and I'm still cold… stay?" She pouted hopefully and I kissed her luscious lower lip.
"I was hoping you'll say that." I sighed.
The next morning I woke up to Bella curled up next to me, with her head nestled on my chest. I took a look at her nightstand clock and saw that it was already a little past six. I hugged her closer to me and kissed her hair breathing her in. She stirred a little and I started kissing her face.
"Bella…" I whispered.
"Mmmhmm?" She hummed burying her face on my chest.
"Love, I need to go…"
"No." She pouted with her eyes still closed and I chuckled. I kissed her adorable little pout again.
"Honey, I need to go… I have to stop at my house to change before going to work."
She finally opened her eyes and looked at me with sleepy eyes.
"Fine." She grumbled but made no attempt to move, shutting her eyes close again and holding me tighter.
I chuckled quietly.
I hugged her tighter and rolled us over so I could free myself from her grip –Ross' hug and roll style- she protested but I silenced her with my lips before getting off from the bed.
"I'll pick you up at noon, Ok?" I whispered against her ear leaning over her.
"Sure." She said more asleep than awake as she hugged the pillow I have slept in against her chest.
"I love you." I whispered clearing some strands of her hair away from her beautiful face.
"I … too" She mumbled.
I placed one last kiss on her forehead and head out of the room and stop by each of the kids' room to check on them before leaving. Andrew was by the foot of his bed, lying on his stomach with his butt sticking up in the air sleeping soundly, I suppressed my laugh and moved him back to the middle of the bed so he wouldn't fall and kissed his cheek before heading to Marie's room. As soon as I step into her room, Sam popped his head from Marie's back on alert but didn't bark or anything when he realized it was me so he just laid back down. I petted him before leaning down and kiss Marie's forehead. After that I finally dragged my ass out of home.
I closed the door behind me and follow the path to the driveway where my car was parked. But when I was about to open the door I saw the neighbor getting out of his house for -judging by his attire- his morning run. The Mercedes wasn't parked in front of his house again, and I decided to follow my gut against my better judgment this time. I know I was probably just being paranoid but I couldn't help to worry. I crossed the street and he lifted his head, I waved at the old man and he took off his earplugs, guessing I wanted to speak to him.
"Good morning Mr. Barker."
"Good morning Mr. Cullen, what a surprise to see you here so early?" He greeted me with a smile, his wrinkles accentuated with the action.
"Yes," I said avoiding his question, not wanting to explain my private life to Bella's neighbor. "Sorry to bother you, but… I'm sorry if I'm being noisy or anything but did you and Mrs. Barker got a new car? A Mercedes?"
Mr. Barker started laughing.
"I'm afraid not Mr. Cullen, I'm retired… and have had my beloved truck for almost twenty years now, not changing that thing for anything, no matter what my wife says." He grumbled the last part.
"So, you didn't get a Mercedes then?" I asked confused… and that uneasy feeling intensified instantly.
I was missing something.
"No."
"And do you know someone who might have visited you who has one?" I inquired serious now.
"No, I don't think so…" He mused trying to remember "May I know why you are asking me this?"
"Oh sorry, yeah… It's just that lately I've seen this black Mercedes parked in front of your house… I don't know I might be paranoid but it made me nervous… you know, my kids and girlfriend live there." I pointed towards the house and he gave me an understanding look before his eyes lighted with something.
"Oh! I think I know what you are talking about… my wife told me about a car she once saw parked in front of our house one day… she came out to see who it was… she told me it was a lady… but as soon as my wife approached she took off. But I wouldn't worry if I were you, we haven't seen her again since that time."
"A lady?" I asked in a shaky voice, my eyes widening a little as my heart stopped beating "How was she?"
Please don't say strawberry blonde, please don't say strawberry blonde. I chanted to myself.
"She was young… brown wavy hair according to my wife… she was wearing sunglasses… and… that's all. It was hard to see as the window glasses were tinted."
Brown wavy hair.
Lauren.
"Mr. Barker… here is my card," I said taking out my wallet and handing him my card with the St. Andrew's logo on it "please if you see the car again could you give me a call?" I asked.
"Of course Mr. Cullen… but, is there something we should worry about."
"I don't know yet." I said in a hard voice.
I stepped into the clinic and immediately went to the doctor's lounge looking for Lauren but only Gabrielle and Mary –the other nurses were there- along with Dr. Stanley.
"Lee, have you seen Miss Mallory?" I asked.
"No, I think she asked your dad for the weekend off… I'm not sure she is coming in today."
What?
"The weekend off? Why?"
He shrugged.
"I don't know, I think her mom got sick or something and she went back to Ottawa."
"Ottawa?" I asked with a strange voice.
"Yes… Lauren is from Ottawa, remember? What's going on?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Nothing, please let me know when she's here."
"Ok…" He said staring at me weirdly.
I went back to the hallway more confused than ever.
Was Lauren really in Ottawa? But, I saw the car when Bella and I came back from the gala. Did she lie? Then, there was the phone calls… the number was from Ottawa… did she call from there? But, if she did… who was on the damn Mercedes!
Then, something struck my mind. The police said the code area was from Ottawa, but that that didn't mean they were calling from Ottawa.
"Heidi…" I called as I reached the reception "What's Lauren's cell phone number?" I asked urgently.
Heidi handed me the clinic's phone book and sure enough, Lauren never changed her number, the area code was still from Ottawa.
"At what time is Lauren coming in?" I asked Heidi impatiently, I needed to have a serious talk with Lauren.
ASAP.
"Oh, she will not be coming in today… her mother got worse… she already reached stage four so she had to stay another day… poor Lauren she was devastated… she says she won't make it another month."
My brows furrowed in confusion.
What the fuck?
Was her mother really sick then? Or was it just an act?
Was I being paranoid again?
There was just one way to find out.
"When did she leave for Ottawa?"
"Friday after her shift." Heidi answered.
"Do you know at what hospital is her mom admitted?"
"At the Riverside, one of your father's colleagues is treating her actually, Dr. Anderson."
"So she is sick?" I asked incredulous.
"Yes," Heidi looked at me strangely "I personally gave her the news of her mom's relapse when her father called here looking for her on Friday. She left immediately… What's wrong Edward?" She asked in her motherly tone.
I shook my head.
"Nothing, please let me know when Lauren's back… I need to talk to her."
"Will do." She nodded.
"One more thing… What car does Lauren drives?"
"She doesn't have a car, she uses the subway."
"Thanks Heidi." I said as I turned back to my office.
So Lauren wasn't really here on the weekend… and apparently doesn't own a Mercedes but there were still the phone calls, were those related to the fucking Mercedes or was it just a coincidence? Was the Mercedes even a threat? Who else do I know that own a freaking Mercedes?
I stepped into my office more confused than ever and sat on my desk. I stared at my favorite picture of Bella and I, the one Alice took on thanksgiving 5 years ago.
Nothing made sense… why would Bella be stalked? Where did the freaking rat came from? Who would be crazy enough to do that? Who has a reason?
I started tapping my fingers over my hardwood desk, thinking… then my old scars on my knuckles caught my attention. The ones I got when I crashed the vases against the wall that fateful morning.
Could it be?
Slowly, I picked up the phone with a shaky hand and dialed the number I knew by heart now. If she was out, things could get ugly. It rang twice before the familiar voice answered.
"Sunshine Coast Health Centre, Miss Carson here how may I help you." She said in a bored tone.
"Miss Carson? Hello, good morning this is Edward Cullen."
"Oh! Mr. Cullen, didn't recognize you… how may I help you?" She asked politely even though she knew why I was calling.
"I'm sorry to bother you again Miss Carson, but I'm calling to see if you have news from Miss Denali?"
"I'm sorry , but Miss Denali is still under treatment… it will be a while before she can interact with the outside world again." She said sadly.
"And doesn't she have breaks? Like weekends out or something? Can't her family contact her?"
"No, she can't leave the centre… and she can't talk to her family either although even if she could she wouldn't. They never call, only her father had called twice to see how she is faring since she was admitted but only talked to her therapist."
I sighed, rubbing my eyelids with my knuckles.
Was I seeing things then?
"I understand… thank you for your patience." I said defeated and feeling very tired suddenly.
"It's my pleasure Mr. Cullen, I'll call you if anything comes up."
"Thank you."
"Goodbye Mr. Cullen."
"Goodbye Victoria."
And with that I hang up with a heavy sigh.
It was a quarter to noon when I parked in Bella's driveway, I was a little early but traffic have been light which was rare for a Monday on rush hour. I noticed a white sedan parked on the street in front of the house and I frowned.
Who would that be?
I used my spare key and entered the house, I heard faint voices coming from the kitchen so I headed there.
"Bella?" I called, making my presence known.
"In here!" She said and I heard giggles.
I came into the kitchen to find Bella standing at the island with Gianna sitting across from her sipping coffee. That caught me off guard, but was pleased nonetheless.
"Gianna, what a surprise!" I greeted her.
"Hi Edward, it's nice to see you."
"Gianna called after I left the kids at school, and we decided to meet for coffee." Bella smiled at me as I kissed her cheek.
"That's great, sorry for interrupting you then."
"It's Ok, I was leaving anyway… I'm meeting Tyler for lunch." Gianna said with her thick accent. "I just wanted to say hi, being new and alone in the city it's not as exciting anymore… gets boring after a while." She smiled.
"It was nice of you to call, see you at Thanksgiving." Bella said as we walked Gianna to the door.
"And tell Tyler I say hi." I said then.
"Aren't you seeing him tomorrow?" Gianna asked.
"Tomorrow?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Yes, he hasn't stopped talking about some game you and the guys are going together to." She turned on the threshold.
"Oh! Yeah, fuck… thank you for reminding me." I smacked my palm on my forehead. I completely forgot about the game.
She chuckled.
"It's alright, I won't tell." She winked "See you later Bella, thanks for the coffee!" She said walking towards her sedan.
"Buh-bye!" Bella smiled at her and closed the door.
"So, you ready to go?" I asked her a soon as she turned to me.
"You are going out tomorrow?" She asked instead.
"What?" I asked, confused by her change of topic.
"What Gianna said… Where are you going?" she asked frowning.
"Tyler signed some Drwyer player with the Leafs so he got us season tickets… we are going to the game tomorrow. Why?"
"Oh, no nothing... just asking, who else is going?" She asked stepping away to put her coat on, all the while evading my questioning eyes.
"It's just the guys and me." I answered slowly as I pulled her hair out of her coat.
"A guys night out." She stated and I nodded. "Are you just going to the game?"
"Well… I don't know the exact plans but I guess they'll want to go to a bar or something afterwards."
"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" She asked buttoning her coat.
"Tell you?"
"Yes, when did Tyler invite you?"
"At the Gala."
"The gala?" She gasped turning to me "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I have to ask permission?" I asked bewildered and she glared at me. Everything that have been happening and what I found out last night taking its toll on me as I was a little cranky now. "What's with all the questioning?" I spat making her flinch and I immediately regretted it.
"You don't have to ask permission, I'm not your mother… you know the kids wait for you every night, it would have been nice to know you weren't coming tomorrow so they wouldn't have to wait for you." She said opening the front door a little too harshly but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back inside pinning her against the door. She turned to me with wide eyes.
"What's the matter with you?! It's just Tyler, Emmet, Jasper and me going to the ACC to watch a stupid game… I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I really forgot… I'll talk to the kids tonight." I said annoyed.
"Don't talk to me like that! I was just asking for the sake of the kids, you are free to do as you please." She spat back and moved out of my arms opening the door again and walking outside towards my car.
Damn it!
"Bella wait!"
She didn't listen, instead she hopped into the passenger's seat. Fuck! This was the last thing I needed. I locked the front door and walked to my car and sat on the driver's seat, I closed the door and turned to her.
"I'm sorry." I said, not turning the car on yet.
"Let's go Edward." She whispered.
Fuck!
"Bella, I'm sorry I yelled at you like that…" I tried again "I haven't been sleeping well… and I've been having a lot on my mind lately."
She didn't say anything.
Dammit, she was upset.
Great Edward, good job.
"Bella… please talk to me? What's bothering you?" I pleaded.
"Nothing… let's go I don't want us to be late."
"No until we talk about it." I went to reach for her hand but she crossed her arms around her stomach and I sighed. "Bella, c'mon pretty girl." She attempted to get out of the car but I quickly put the children's lock on and she glared at me.
"We are not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you. Is this really about the kids or is this about me not spending time with you tomorrow? Honey, it has been a long time since I last saw my friends…"
"That's not it." She said looking ahead and then it dawned on me.
"Bella… look at me." When she did I continued "You trust me right? I'm not going out to party… just a game and probably a couple of beers afterwards."
"Your bachelor party was supposed to be a couple of beers too." She deadpanned and I gaped at her, hurt by her words.
"Bella… I… I'm confused," I stammered "I thought you trusted me? I mean… that day at the park you said… I've done everyth-"
"It's not you I don't trust, of course I trust you…" She turned to me with watered eyes "it's the world I don't trust."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know… good things never happen to me… I'm afraid one day it's going to be enough and something or someone would take you away from us… I don't want to be disappointed again."
I unfastened her seatbelt, pulled her onto my lap over the console and kissed her deeply.
"Nothing and no one is ever going to take me away from you, I love you." I said drying the few tears that had fallen over her cheeks with my thumbs. "Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?"
"You loved me five years ago too and look at what happened?" She whimpered against my lips and I pulled away.
"Well, five years ago there was psycho loose on the streets. Now she is locked up and very far away."
"Still… sometimes I'm afraid I'll lose you again." She confessed and my heart instantly broke.
"What happen to dancing in the rain and living the now? Don't think about the things you can't control… just enjoy this, us being together now… you are only allow to think about us, about how much I love you… about how every time I do this" I kissed her jaw "or this" her temple "or this" her lips "I fall even more in love with you… Bella, you have this pull on me I can't even start to explain… I have this need of you I don't see how I'll ever be able to leave you… don't worry your pretty little head about it. You are it for me… I told you this the night after the gala." I frowned at her.
"I'm sorry, it's just that it's hard not to think about the future… even you painted this beautiful scenery yourself… when you talked about marriage and kids that night, it's hard not to see the other side too."
"That's different."
"How so?"
I laced my fingers with hers and rested our palms on her thigh, I stared at them and the bracelet I gave her the night of the gala while I searched for words. I started tracing my fingers over her ring finger, imagining her ring that I still have on my nightstand on her finger. I still remember how the tiny diamonds around the band glistened against her skin and how the sapphires and bigger diamond at the top shinned on the light when she wore it five years ago. It looked so beautiful on her delicate hand.
"Isabella… what happened wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't have… things weren't supposed to be this way. There's a reason why after everything that happened between us… we still got here, to this moment. I told you before that I believe we were meant for each other… that we are destined. What were the chances of you getting a scholarship in another country? Of me running into you twice, and spilling your beverage all on you both times?" She smiled a little at the memory and I took that as my cue to continue.
"Your favorite artist was my mother without you even knowing… you loved going to her galleries, it was only a matter of time till I met you. But no, I found you first. Then, I lost you and the first time I left Toronto after that morning… I found you again. I have been invited to tons of conventions but I choose that one, the one in Ottawa… what were the odds? Then, what were the chances of you even getting knocked up, especially while we were protected? None… but somehow someone or something is always pulling us together, none of this was coincidence… call it fate, call it destiny we will end up together. I know you are not ready… but believe me I'm dying to put your ring back on your finger… as it was supposed to be. I'm just waiting for you-"
"You still have it?" She asked with wide eyes and I nodded, not wanting to elaborate on all the things I still have of her, she would think I was nuts if she knew about her stuff never been moved.
"I do, ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness." I teased lightly "It's yours and only you are going to wear it if you ever decide to do it." I said firmly then.
"God, I can't believe you kept it." She said still awed and I looked down.
"I wouldn't dare to get rid of it."
Of anything.
We arrived at the cemetery barely on time, all my family but Jasper was already there. Alice said he couldn't come as he has an important meeting with some people over the movie he was making with Disney and couldn't postpone it.
Dad was serious, well he was always serious but there was something else today, there was a shadow on his face that even though he was expressionless you could feel the pain he was suffering now. Mom was even worse, staring into space… it was a freaky thing to look at but of course I understand.
Andrew's anniversaries were always hard on all of us, especially to my parents. Dad suffered because of the blame he had thrown over himself for years for losing control on the road that day, and for mom because there's just nothing worse than losing a son. When you lose your parent's you are an orphan, when you lose your partner you are a widowed but… what are you when you lose your son? Or your daughter?
There's no description, just pain.
But today, it was harder… harder because of one stupid letter. How can a single letter bring all this pain? It's as if by reliving Andrew's last days… trying to remember anything that could have gave him out, something that we had missed and now was so obvious… we were reminded of who we lost. A brother, a son… a friend. We remembered all those moments we had with him, his joy and laugher.
I dreamt of him last night again… but this time it wasn't a memory, or maybe it was but it didn't matter. We were ten, we were running in the forest near grandma's house in Montreal. He was chasing me with a stick and I held a pan as a shield. It was a bittersweet moment.
Damn it Andrew… when did you play to be a grown up?
Why didn't you tell me about Tanya? Things would have been so much different.
We prayed and the priest said a few words in comfort. Bella stood quietly next to me and I hold onto her for support. Emmet held mom in an embrace as she cried and ruined his shirt. I could see Alice eyeing her worriedly and by her expression she knew something was up. It had been years since mom cried like this over Andrew and I knew exactly what triggered it. She glanced at me questioningly but I shook my head, now wasn't the time to break this news, although I could feel the letter on the inner pocket of my jacket getting heavier and heavier.
I didn't even know if my parents wanted to tell them.
As the priest said the last words I felt Bella recline her head on my shoulder and I caressed her arm, warming her with the friction as it was freezing here. When the priest was done everyone took turns to say a few words. Mom and Alice put fresh flowers on the vases and Emmet and I cleaned the tomb from dead leafs, barks and the like.
Every year after coming here we would go to have lunch together and remember Andrew, trying to guess what he'll do or say if he was alive… but not this year. Mom said she was tired and needed to rest so dad took her back to the house which was fine by me since I had made plans with Bella to go for lunch together.
Mom and dad left while Alice, Emmet, Rose, Bella and I stayed for a little longer. Suddenly Bella's phone vibrated on her purse. She gave an apologetic glance and walked away to answer her phone, when she was away Alice came to stand next to me.
"What was up with mom and dad?" She asked with concern but the look in her eyes told me she wanted a straight answer, no bullshit.
There wasn't a point trying to deceive Alice, the little freak was psychic or something, she knew everything. But I still tried to ease my way out of it, I didn't want to upset her on her state.
"Nothing is wrong with them… but… I-"
I stopped talking when something in the distance caught my eye behind Alice.
"Don't move… keep an eye on Bella." I said firmly.
I turned and went behind a tall fence out of sight from the black Mercedes. Slowly, I made my way to the curve where it was parked from the side, careful to not give myself away. It had the same British Columbia plates but couldn't see the number from this distance and position. I tried to focus on the driver but the windows where too dark I couldn't see anything. I changed courses and tried to go nearer from another angle without being seen but just when I was getting closer the car came to life and accelerated flying down the gravelled path. Leaving a few marks on the ground but when the clouds parted and the sun came into view, I caught a glimpse of brown wavy hair.
I couldn't see who it was…
But, I knew it wasn't Lauren… or Tanya for that matter.
And still, a chill run down my body.
"What's going on Edward?" I heard Emmet ask. I turned around and saw him jog to my side.
"I think Bella is being stalked." I answered and Emmet's eyebrows touched his hair line.
"Why would you say that?"
I started to tell him a short version of everything that have happened and by the look on his face I knew I wasn't just being paranoid. Something was wrong, there were too many coincidences.
"But, if it's not Tanya or Lauren… who would it be?"
"I don't know Emmet, but I'm going to find out."
"Does Bella know?"
"No, I don't think she noticed… yet."
"You have to tell her."
"I know… but I don't want to scare her unnecessarily, the driver saw me so I hope whoever it is gets it that she got caught and stops. Besides Bella is already trying to handle Thanksgiving on Thursday and after I tell her about Andrew's letter to-"
"What? What letter? What are you talking about?" He interrupted me and I cursed. Fuck, I slipped.
Well, he was going to find out at some point anyway.
"Just don't make a scene and keep your mouth shut for now… Alice is pregnant and I don't want to upset her and I want to be the one to tell Bella."
He nodded and I retrieve the letter from my inner pocket and handed it to him. He took it warily and started reading it. I didn't know what to expect of him, but sure I wasn't expecting this. His eyes became hard, cold and threatening. His breathing labored… he was livid but in a calm way that made it somehow scarier.
When he was done he folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope and gave it back to me. He didn't say anything at first, just stared at Rosalie who was talking with Alice on a bench. I looked for Bella but she was still on the phone.
Who was she talking to by the way?
"What do you think?" I finally broke the silence but it still took him a whole minute to answer.
"I want to strangle that woman… seriously Edward, this is too much. Is this why mom was so upset today?"
I nodded.
"I found the letter on one of Andrew's album last night, I immediately went to them."
"I can't believe she did that… if she didn't want the baby there were tons of other options… she could have given it to us… to mom and dad or adoption I don't know! I mean, here Rose and I are in an endless list to get a baby and she just… ugh! Why are people like her allowed to breathe?! Why someone like Andrew is taken away while she remains here in this planet, wasting space and air… throwing her life away!" He said exasperatedly and I saw Rose and Alice look in our direction.
"I know Emmet, I feel just the same. But please keep your voice low… I really don't want Alice to know yet, she is sensitive and stress won't do good for her or the baby." I urged.
"Yeah, I'm sorry… but can you really expect me to be calm after you throw something like this to me?"
"I know, I'm sorry." I saw Bella hung up and look around for me so I waved at her. "Listen bro, I gotta go… please calm and don't tell Alice anything, she already suspects something is up so try your best. If you want to tell Rose that's ok but make sure Alice doesn't hear you, got it?"
"You have my word."
We walked back to the women, and Alice kept her eyes on me. I avoided her questioning eyes and took Bella's hand instead.
"Ready to go?" I asked kissing her head.
"Yes, sorry about that." She said waving her phone in the air.
"Who was it?" I asked curiously, it was a long conversation.
"Mike."
"Mike?" Emmet asked.
"My boss." Bella explained.
"What did Michael want?" I asked, feigning nonchalance but if I was being honest it really bothered me. Why would she call her on Monday morning? She worked from home and he had already sent her the new manuscripts.
"He wanted to meet me for lunch, but I told him I already have plans." She turned to me.
"Why did he want to meet you?" I asked a little annoyed, I know I was being childish he was her boss but I didn't like the way he eyed her when we met a few weeks ago. She raised her right eyebrow at me but I remind unfazed.
"He is my boss, he wanted to go over something with me."
"Couldn't he meet you at his office?"
"It was just lunch and I already told him no, that I have plans with you. What's your problem?" I felt rather that saw my siblings walk away, giving us some space.
"Well, I don't like him… I didn't like the way he was staring at you when we met." I said honestly and she rolled her eyes.
"I don't like Lauren either and I don't say anything because I know she's a co-worker and I trust you. You should do the same, Mike is my boss and our relationship is strictly professional."
"I still don't like him." I said stubbornly.
"You don't have to like him, you don't even have to see him again so stop it. What's the matter with you? You have been cranky since this morning. You were the one who gave me the speech about trust this morning." She said and I closed my eyes taking a breath.
"I'm sorry…"
"What's going on?" She asked worriedly.
I looked around, having an odd feeling of being watched.
"Let's go."
Bella and I walked into Café Crepe thirty minutes later and sat on a table for two. We placed our order and waited for the waitress to bring us our drinks before we talked, as we had yet to do it since we left the cemetery.
"Tell me… is this about what you told me yesterday?" Bella broke the silence, straight to the point and I nodded. Better to just get on with this as there was no an easy way to do it.
"Remember the album we found on my parent's basement two weeks ago?"
"Yes…"
"Well, I found this…" I brought the letter out from my jacket pocket "It's a letter addressed to Andrew… from Tanya… just a few day before his death." I said slowly placing the letter on top of the table. She eyed it as if it was going to come to life and bit her.
…
…
…
"Would you prefer me to read it to you out loud?" I asked when she didn't move.
She shook her head.
"No, it's just that… I was wondering what this has anything to do with us?" She asked frowning and I grimaced.
"Well, not directly but… once you read it you'll understand."
She took the letter and toyed with it a little in her hands before she finally opened the envelope taking it out. She started reading it with an impassive expression, but once she read further, her face turned first into shock and then disbelief.
"God." She gasped.
"I know." Was all I could say.
"But… wasn't Andrew just fifteen?" She asked aghast.
"Tanya is a year older than us, but age doesn't really matter… they were teenagers, hormones must have gotten the best of them." I joked halfheartedly.
"And… no one knew?"
"As far as we know only Irina…"
"God, this must have killed Esme." She mused going through the letter again.
"She didn't take it very well… but it could have been worse." I said and she remained quiet, her eyes glued to the letter.
…
…
…
"Bella… please tell me what you are thinking." I begged.
…
…
…
"I think… this is crazy." She sighed.
"But, do you understand what this means?"
She lifted her head from the letter and look at me intensely, her eyes instantly watering.
"I do."
We stared at each other for endless minutes, her painful eyes boring into mine. This was one of those moments when I wished I have the ability to read her mind. To know exactly what was going through her head, to know what to do or say to her. While Bella and I continue with our staring contest, the waitress placed our plates in front of us but we didn't acknowledge her or the food.
"How do you feel about this?" I asked once the waitress left and she closed her eyes breaking our connection.
"I feel… I'm mad… and hurt and confused." She breathed and I took her hand that was lying over the table in mine.
"Why are you mad?" I asked even though I have an idea but I just wanted her to get it all out. I knew she kept her thoughts and emotions to herself most of the time but I wasn't going to let her do that this time. I needed to know how she felt.
"I'm not sure… I mean… god." She cried.
"Pretty girl… talk to me please, what are you feeling?" I said, lightly squishing her hand.
"I'm mad! Just mad… all we've been through… all our kids had to suffer because of what that woman did… because of her sick obsession with a ghost… with someone she couldn't have. She broke us, our home… our trust, she stole our kids happiness and security because she felt guilty… She… she took you… from us" She started sobbing "because she wanted to fill her own emptiness… something she did to herself!"
I move my chair to sit next to her and wrapped my arms around her.
"Shhh… I love you, it's Ok…"
"No Edward! It's so not Ok!" She cried.
"It will be, we finally understand why she did it, so now… we can move on… and leave Tanya in the past for real."
"No it won't! Edward… Andrew's dead and Tanya is obsessed with him, how do we know she won't try anything again when she gets out, think about the kids! Tanya is not just an addict, she is crazy… she thinks you are her first love how do you think she is going to react when she finds out I'm back!"
"But she won't come back, Mom and Dad will talk to El and Carmen on Thursday… explain them the situation so Tanya can get the proper help. That's why rehab hasn't worked for her, you said so yourself. She is not just an addict she is mental, and I would never let her get that close to you… I can get a restraining order if you want."
"And what am I supposed to do with a piece of paper if she points me with a gun or something? She tried to run you over once, so that possibility is not too far fetch."
I felt as if someone had thrown an ice cold bucket of water all over me.
"Bella, Tanya is being monitored 24/7 in Vancouver… on the other side of the country, I talked to her nurse today… she won't be out in a while and she will call me when she does. We'll be prepared then but I don't think it'll get that far, once my parents talk to the Denalis I'm sure El will do his best to get Tanya the proper care."
"Edward, please promise me she won't come near the kids… Marie is too sensitive, if Tanya says or does the wrong thing at the wrong time… I don't want her to go into another attack." She cried.
"I swear… but I'll make the calls later today to increase security at home… install cameras and anything else it has to be done, just in case."
"What about you?"
"I'll be fine," I said playing with a lock of her hair "don't worry about me… you and the kids are what matter here. Besides, this is just a precaution… I'm sure El will have her admitted in an asylum as soon as dad talks to him with a proper therapist."
"I hope so… I'll hate it if she does something to you. I couldn't bear it." She confessed and I smiled at her, moved by her concern of me. "Or the kids… if she eve-"
"You and those two munchkins you have at school right now are my life, I'll put myself between a bullet and you if it comes down to it… so don't worry about them."
"Not if I beat you to it, I'm serious Edward… please be careful, how long has she been admitted in Vancouver? Do you have any idea when she'll come out?"
"She was admitted back in August… so that'll be three months and a half. I know she should be out by now but according to the nurse the doctors didn't think she was ready to face the world on her own… something about relapses and bad behavior on her part."
"You know… even though I hate her… I still feel bad for her. I've heard of young girls falling into depression after an abortion, feeling guilty and ashamed you know? But to add that to the loss of someone you love?" She shook her head "No wonder she went crazy."
"I know… she should have gotten the proper care, I still can't believe Irina didn't help her… but let's change the subject, I don't want to talk about Tanya anymore… your turn."
"My turn?"
"Yes, last night you told me you wanted to talk to me about something… what was it?"
"Oh… yeah, uhmm is not important…"
"Bella…" I pressed "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"It's about Marie…" she said then, but I had the feeling she was lying.
"What about her?"
"Miss Kelly told me Marie should be in an advanced group… pre-school is not enough for her, she gets bored just coloring and playing… she is ready for more than that. She can already read a few words and write hers and our first names."
I smiled, remembering how I learned to write my own full name in pre-school too.
My little pretty Einstein.
"We can talk about it… but, I don't want her to miss her first years either, especially because of how shy she is… she might get nervous around older kids and that won't help her social skills, I want her to play too… she is almost four, still too young to immerse herself in school."
"I thought the same thing, but… she is not getting along with kids her own age either… so maybe this will distract her and she won't feel that out casted? She might feel good and proud of herself too."
I sighed, thinking about it.
"I don't know… I was advanced in my classes too, I wasn't shy like Marie but I was treated differently, I was the nerdy type so it was hard to socialize… I don't want that to happen to her. Maybe we can talk about it with Patricia? Maybe she can guide us through this."
"Yes, we could do that… speaking of which, we have to hurry… the kids are out of school in an hour."
"I'll drive you." I offered.
"No thank you, it'll be faster by subway at this hour and I don't want you to be late for work, and the campus is just a few blocks away from the house… don't worry about it."
"Alright, I'll be home by eight to see them… is that Ok?" She rolled her eyes.
"You can come and see them at anytime, you know that."
"I know, I just wanted to make sure… after this morning I didn't know if you were still mad about the game." I said looking down, ashamed for reacting that way. Playing with her fingers on my lap.
"I'm not mad, and even if I was they are your kids too. You can see them anytime you want, I won't step in between them and you. They lived without you long enough." It was her time to look down.
I kissed her temple and made her face me.
"Stop berating yourself for that… if I forgive you why won't you forgive yourself?"
"Because I was selfish, and I would never forgive myself for hurting you like that… especially after what I learned today. You didn't deserve it." She whimpered.
I knew this would happen.
"Bella, even if Tanya had planned it all, what happened still hurt you… I told you I understand why you did that and I still feel responsible for being so naïve. Stop thinking about what happened, I showed you this letter not to justify myself… I did it because I wanted you to know about it… we vowed to be honest with each other and this also concerned you… you needed to know why Tanya did what she did too. She hurt you too."
She looked down and looked… uncomfortable?
"Thank you for telling me… for trusting me with something this important. Who else knows about it?"
"Just Emmet and my parents… I don't want Alice to know yet with her state, so please if she asks what's going on don't tell her anything. I know she already suspects something is up."
"Of course, you have my word."
I studied her face for a long minute, I knew her more like I knew myself and she was hiding something. I knew it.
"Bella… what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing… why do you ask?"
"You have guilt written all over your face."
"It's nothing." She said with wide eyes and I looked down at our hands feeling hurt.
"Ok, when you are ready… when you feel you can trust me, I'm here if you wanna talk."
She let out an exasperated sigh and her eyes watered again.
"Edward… it's not like that, of course I trust you. It's just that… I don't know if it's worth it… you have a lot on your mind already, I don't want to burden you more."
"Bella, you are my priority… if you are not Ok, the kids are not Ok then I'm not Ok. But if you need time I understand, you are not a burden please engrave that in your mind."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing! Baby, it's Ok."
"I love you Edward… I really do." She said, hugging me closer to her and burying her face in the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry… for everything I did."
Well, well, well... some of you were right! Andrew and Tanya did have a thing! AND SHE WAS PREGNANT!
Poor Edward having too much on his plate right now... Here is the link for the ones who are not a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan and don't know what I was talKing about with the Ross' hug and roll trick! It's pretty funnny!
www . you tube watch?v = j0eStJlnNKo just remove the spaces or look for Ross's hug and roll trick on YT.
So, who do you think is in the freaking mercedes? Any bets? Also, I quoted Eclipse's Edward a couple of times on this chapter, did you got them? Let me know!
Sorry for the lack of Andrew and Marie's action in this chapter, I promise we'll have a good dose of them next chapter!
Till next time!
Saludos!
Tpec
