It was midnight in the Moor of Icirrus, and a Team Plasma grunt approached a roughed up looking man wearing a tattered Team Galactic uniform.

"Do you have the data on Lucario R?" the Team Plasma grunt asked.

The man nodded and held out a USB stick. "And you?" he asked.

The grunt opened the suitcase her was holding, revealing the large amount of money inside.

"Excellent," the man said.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a huge Focus Blast that crashed down between them. . . .

As the sun rose over the Moor of Icirrus, Officer Jenny hauled the pair into a police van. Keldeo silently watched from the cover of the trees. He then smiled at the USB stick in his hoof.


And then the reviews began!

And then the reviews began!

Hurtful complaining won't stand!

No more pretentious rants!

Cause he is a Sword of Justice-

And then the reviews began!


Keldeo The Critic- Editorial 2- The Red Scarf of Courage by FictionaryMan03895

(From Keldeo's Point of View Of Course)

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

Well, my Lucario Fever is just about gone, so I'll finish it off with a quick editorial on a deleted scene from FictionaryMan's story "Summer Part 1 Attempt 1." It took a little. . .doing to get a hold of it, but it was worth it, nonetheless. The scene is called "The Red Scarf of Courage," and it gives us a little back story on Ryan's scarf.

It starts out with Izzy and Jenny, Rex's cousins, playing Mario Kart Wii.

(Keldeo deadpanned)

Enough with the products!

Anyway, Rex must be off. . .doing something in the rain, because the girls seem to be in Jordan's house for some reason.


In Jordan's bedroom, Izzy and Jenny were both on one side of the room playing Mario Kart Wii while Ryan was on the other side of the room watching the rain fall. Jordan stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He watched as the two twins raced across the virtual finish line.
"Darn it!" Jenny shouted. "You beat me again! Next time, I'm definitely gonna whoop your tail."
Izzy looked back at Ryan. "Not exactly something you wanna say in front of someone who actually has a tail." Izzy whispered firmly.


Eh, not really funny.


Jordan silently chuckled. "Don't worry, girls, Ryan doesn't mind." The fifteen year old looked over to the young lucario who sighed in disappointment. Jordan sat down on the bed next to Ryan and scratched his furry, yellow neck. Ryan leaned his head back as he felt relaxed. But then he went back to disappointment. "Are you okay, little bro?" Jordan asked.
Ryan sighed. "Yeah, it's just that… I really wish I had my scarf back on."
"Well, why don't you put your collar on?" Jordan suggested.
"Jordan, you know well enough what that scarf means to me."
"What does it mean to you, Ryan?" Izzy asked. Ryan looked at the red-haired twins as they came over to the other side of the room.
"Well… a lot. It really means a lot to me. You probably wouldn't understand, though" the young lucario sighed.
"What we don't understand is why you would wear it in the summer. Isn't it a bit too much for your… fluffy neck?"


Since when are Lucarios fluffy?

Well, anyway, Ryan reacts accordingly:


Jenny chuckled. Ryan glared at Jenny and then growled angrily at her. Jenny gasped and flinched back. Jordan slapped the back of Ryan's head to get him under control.


Noah: Initiate Slap Sub-Routine!

VirtualKaiba: Sub-Routine initiated.

(Slap!)

Mokuba: OWWWW!


Once Ryan became aware of his actions, he felt ashamed.
"I'm sorry, Jenny. I didn't mean to growl at you."
"Oh… it's okay, buddy" Jenny spoke sympathetically as she came up and carefully hugged Ryan on his left side.
"That scarf must be really valuable to you" Izzy sighed. "How come, though?"
Ryan decided to come through with his new friends. "Because it reminds me of a day I'll never forget. Whether I like it or not." The young lucario sighed as he put his story into thought. "Have you two ever heard of …Team Galactic?"


I - uh -

(Keldeo grabs a Berry Juice and starts drinking sloppily. The juice dribbles out of his mouth as shakes in confusion.)

WHAT?!

This is suposed to be the United States! The real world! How could Team Galactic exist in the real world? In that case, why not have it take place in the Pokemon world if you're gonna have Team Galactic in it.

Luckily, however, this is not a clone of Breaking the Chains. It turns out that Team Galactic didn't kidnap Ryan and experiment on him like Aaron.


"Well… my parents were kidnapped by Galactic. You see, my human father is a member of Sector 01's Science Council, and one of the smartest. Cyrus wanted him to help with research on where to find the mythological pokemon, and…. …he held my mother hostage. Cyrus said he would let her go if my dad did as he says. My dad kept his end of the deal, but… …Cyrus changed it."
Suddenly lightning flashed in the sky, followed by the violent sound of thunder.


AH!


"Wow! That is ONE crazy coincidence" Jenny said as she looked at the window.


And a lame cliche. But it works because it was lamp-shaded, so props to you, FictionaryMan.

So, as you probably can guess, the evil Cyrus kidnapped the Konerson Family and threatened to kill Jordan if Professor Marco Konerson didn't help him enslave the Legendary Pokemon to take over the world.

M. Bison: OF COURSE!


"When Jordan was kidnapped, I followed close behind, all the way to Galactic's HQ near Genesis City. I snuck through the air vents, and... …that's when I learned about the deals.


That's right! It's Ryan Freeman to the rescue! As we see in a flashback.


"I told you a few moments ago that the deal has changed. If you want your boy to live, you will do as I say!"
"But I did as you said!" Marco shouted in rage. "Now let him, me, and my wife go!"
"Well, now, I'm giving you new orders!" Cyrus shouted. Then he returned to a stern tone. "You will help me find out how to control these pokemon, or your boy suffers… …MAJOR consequences."
From the vents, Ryan was frightened by the sight of Jordan's life on the line. His heart was pounding, like Thor's hammer on concrete. The young lucario tried hard not to cry. He wiped his eyes dry, clinched his right paw into a fist, and said these four, strong words: "Over my dead body."
Then with one paw, Ryan shot an Aura Sphere right at the air vent, thus causing it to break. Everyone was disoriented by the explosion, and that was when the young lucario dove in and attacked the soldiers. Jordan ran to the safety of Marco's arms, and Ryan blasted a fully-charged Aura Sphere at Cyrus. The young lucario panted in anger as the four in plastic armor groaned in agony. Then he turned to Jordan and Marco, and carefully embraced them.


Wait-wait-wait, go back a bit.


Ryan blasted a fully-charged Aura Sphere at Cyrus.


FINALLY! Someone actually uses their brain! I am so tired of the heroes not actually using their Pokemon to attack the bad guys. Seriously, how come Ash never tells Pikachu to Thunderbolt anyone other than Jessie, James, and Meowth? Why doesn't he ever say, "Thunderbolt Cyrus!" or "Thunderbolt Colress!" or even "Thunderbolt those Team Plasma Grunts!" The only time he's ever done this is when he has Pikachu unintentionally Spirit Bomb Giorvanni during the whole Meloetta and the Undersea Temple crisis, and it was awesome.

It's even worse in the games, where the grunts just either stand there or run away after you defeat them. Knock them out too! They're evil! They deserve it! Show evil no mercy!

(Keldeo sighed)

Well, Ryan kinda turns stupid again by instead of running away with the rest of them after freeing Mrs. Konerson, he decides to go back and make a deal with Cyrus!


Ryan nodded. "I hate complement him, but he was good at hand-to-hand combat. After we escaped the lab, we freed Mom from her cell. I figured that Cyrus wasn't going to give up, so I had a plan that was very risky. I… …I knew that o minor objective for Galactic was to capture the rarest pokemon they could possibly find. In exchange for Mom's, Dad's, and Jordan's freedom, I offered my servitude to Cyrus, on the condition that he would have to try to capture me just like any other pokemon. Although… he had no idea what he was in for… and neither did I."


HOW IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?!

This guy is an evil sociopath! Not to mention powerful! Even if he does defeat him, why should Ryan believe that Cyrus would agree to leave the Konersons alone if Ryan defeats him. Wouldn't the opposite be true? Wouldn't Cyrus want revenge?

Why would he trust Cyrus?!

So we have our battle of Cyrus vs Ryan.


Flashback:

Ryan fell to the floor of Cyrus's office. The office was a big room that had a desk in front of a big wall of windows. As Ryan struggled to stand up, he looked at the spike on his right forepaw; half of it was covered in blood. The young lucario looked up at Cyrus, who had his mask on. There was cut on his right hip, and it was streaming with blood, although it was hard to see it in the black armor. Ryan slowly stood up, grunting in pain in the process, and glared at the wounded director.
"I will admit…" Ryan panted, "You're a good fighter"
Cyrus drew his laser pistol and blasted deadly, blue energy at Ryan. Luckily, though, he evaded the attack and continued evading more blasts.


What is going on? Didn't Ryan say the agreement was that Cyrus had to catch Ryan like any other Pokemon? Doesn't that mean a normal battle with Pokeballs? Why is Cyrus shooting at him? Why are they fighting hand to hand? Won't it end up killing one of them? Look, it even says "Deadly." Didn't Cyrus want to catch Ryan?


"You dare to foil my plans?" Cyrus shouted across the room, as he blasted at Ryan again. "I am destined to have power of the gods!"
"There's only one God!" Ryan shouted. "And you can't take His power!" The young lucario evaded another deadly blast from the wounded director.


Just a reminder that this is a Christian Fanfic.


"Look at you. A worthless mutt trying to overthrow the director... of Team Galactic!" Cyrus shouted as he once again blasted at Ryan. "It's because of the Konersons, isn't it? You must that desperate to save your friends."
"You're right, Cyrus" the young lucario panted. "You're right about one thing: I am desperate to protect the Konersons. But you're wrong about one thing! The reason I'm protecting the Konersons is because… I AM a Konerson.


Vegeta: I AM A SUPER-

(Keldeo pushed the scene aside)

That was stupid. Really bad joke.


They're not my friends… they're... my… FAMILY!" Ryan evaded one more blast until the glass was behind him. Then Ryan charged up an Aura Sphere and sent it flying at Cyrus's right eye. The impact broke the visor, and Cyrus fell to the ground.
Then Ryan turned around and broke a glass window. The harsh, winter wind blew into the room, and it sent the long half of Ryan's red scarf waving like a flag. The young lucario looked back and saw the wounded director of Galactic, with his mask off, covering where his right eye was.
"Now you listen to me carefully." Ryan growled. "Don't EVER threaten my parents OR my brother again. As long as I live, I won't let you hurt my family! Do I make myself clear?"
Cyrus grunted as he sat up, still covering his eye. "Let me be clear about one thing, myself. This isn't over, Ryan Konerson."
Ryan glared back at Cyrus, and then leapt out the hole in the window.


Yeah, that was awesome, Ryan! AWESOME! And you gotta add the scarf blowing in the wind. EPIC!

But, Ryan kinda made a dangerous enemy. Aren't you afraid of Cyrus getting revenge? The Konerson family is kinda targeted now. He didn't destroy Team Galactic. They haven't been foiled. But then again, this is actually better that way. Now you have a main villain for this story, a driving force for the plot. All good stories need antagonists. That might be why FictionaryMan stopped "Summer Part 1", there was no conflict. Adding this in could really get the story going.


"Um… can we get back to the subject on the scarf?" Jenny asked.


Oh yeah. Right. Thanks.


Ryan sighed. "Well, I actually hated the scarf, and on the day Jordan was kidnapped, he was offering it to me one more time before we went searching for my parents, because before then, we didn't know about the abductions. Anyways, as usual I turned down the scarf, and… I got a little mad at Jordan. I told him that I hate the scarf and I'm never, ever, ever going to wear it. I… I-I felt awful for overreacting like that." The young lucario frowned as he looked up at his human brother.


Huh. Ryan kinda has a short temper.


"It's okay, Ryan" Jordan said softly. "It wasn't the first time you were mad at me."
"I know" Ryan replied. "And I did apologize. But, before you were kidnapped…" Ryan looks down in Izzy and Jenny's direction. "I felt like I needed to be alone. So, I went to the side of the house to sit down and think. When I thought to myself I thought, Ryan Konerson, you shouldn't have yelled at Jordan like that. You are his brother, and he needs you right now because our parents have disappeared, and he feels alone without you. Go. Apologize. And when I had my chance to, that's when Jordan was being kidnapped by Galactic. I couldn't run after them. They were way too fast. A-and I felt so guilty for it. If I hadn't yelled at him because I didn't want to wear the scarf, he wouldn't have been kidnapped. So, I decided to put on the scarf, to kinda face up for what I did, and then I followed Jordan's life energy signature, aka his aura, and I was lead to Galactic HQ in Genesis City. I've worn the scarf ever since that day. The only times I ever take it off is for when I take a shower, when I go swimming, or when I go to sleep."
"And apparently when a careless Kirlia pushes you into a wet flowerbed" Jenny chuckled. Ryan smiled, almost in a position to laugh.


WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAHHHHHHHH

So that's why he's not wearing the scarf right now.


"So, that day when you took down Cyrus and saved your family was… over six months ago, Ryan. How do you feel about that scarf, personally?" Izzy asked firmly.
Ryan looked down and sighed. "Honestly… I still hate it."


(Keldeo smiled stiffly)

DARN!

It's just a scarf, what's so bad about it?


For a moment, there was nothing but silence, only to be broken by Jordan. "I-if you still hate it, Ryan, then why have you been wearing it?"
"Well, I don't use it to remind me of when I yelled at you. Not ever since I apologized. The only reason I personally wear it is to remind myself of that day when I fought to protect you. And I also wear it as a reminder that I have family, and that I need to protect it." Ryan looked up at Jordan, who was actually smiling, almost about to laugh.


Well, you're taking Ryan's . . .bluntness well. . .


"What's so funny?"
"The way you say it, Ryan, is like you've never protected me before. Little bro, you've protected this family… ever since you were born. Remember when we first encountered Team Galactic last summer on Dinosaur Mountain, after we had won our first gym battle? You, as a riolu, stood up to Agent Saturn and took down his Toxicroak with Force Palm, Quick Attack, and Blaze Kick. And if I remember correctly, there was one time when you were just one week old, and you…"
"I know" snapped Ryan. "And your point is?"
"That you did all those things without that scarf. And Ryan, if you don't want to wear that scarf, you never had to. I should've never asked for the 'billionth' time after you said 'no'."
Ryan remained silent, and got up from the bed and walked over to Jordan's desk. The young lucario opened the top drawer and pulled out a large, red collar. Then he looked back at Jordan and said, "Does this mean I can put this back on?"
"Of course, little bro" chuckled Jordan. "It's your decision, just like with the scarf."
Ryan looked down at the collar and smiled. "Then I've made my decision. I want to put the collar back on." And with that, Jordan came over and knelt down to be at equal height with Ryan. Then Jordan took the collar and strapped it onto Ryan's neck. "Man, I've really missed wearing this thing" the young lucario said as he smiled down at his red collar.


So, now Ryan is back to wearing his collar. . . .

Well, that's the deleted scene.

I really liked the Team Galactic scenes. It made it epic! Ryan's hatred of scarfs is a little strange. I also find the way he likes his collar really nice. I love back-story! So I'm loving this. And Ryan beating up Cyrus was awesome!

(Keldeo stopped and tapped his chin)

Hey, I wonder how a conversation between Ryan and Aaron from "Breaking the Chains" would play out?


"So I crawled through the vents and took out the guards with my Aura Spheres! Then I rescued my family, and then challenged Cyrus to a battle! He had a laser gun and blasted at me, I had some battle damage, but I dodged the attacks and then hit Cyrus in the face with an Aura Sphere! Then I broke a window and escaped all awesome like! So, what did you do in the Team Galactic lair?" Ryan said.

Aaron thought for a moment and said, "Well, I was put in a cell. I sat there. I didn't make any attempt to escape whatsoever. I didn't use any moves. No Aura Sphere. No Force Palm. Not even Quick Attack. I just sat there and allowed Anderson to torture me. I didn't do a single attack. And when they decided to kill me, I just went alone with it. They didn't even strap me to the table. My arms were totally free. But I didn't attack at all. I even helped them kill me by ripping my own chest open."

Ryan stared at Aaron for a very long time.

Then he finally said, "God help you."


Well, I'm Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction!

THE END

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

Credits

Dragon Ball Z

Half-Life

The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.

(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)


Virgil walked towards the door of the Pokemon Rescue Squad Headquarters. He noticed the black suitcase on the ground in front of it. He bent down to the ground and opened it.

He gasped.

"Wow. . ." Virgil said, then he smiled, "We can really upgrade our equipment with this! We'll be able to save so many Pokemon and people!"