As a longtime fan of I must say this as my disclaimer. DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE POSTING THIS FOR FREE IF I COULD ACTUALLY BE MAKING MONEY OFF OF THIS IN ANY LEGAL FASHION. Thank you.

The Great Lina Inverse In:

How Harry Found out His Past Life Was Female

or

Lina Inverse Rides Again

A.K.A.

FATE SUCKS
_

Harry Potter woke up on December 24th to the sound of magic being worked. Smiling Harry walked downstairs in his green pyjama pants, taking time to feel the world around him. Dudley was waking in his bed and his aunt was downstairs making yet another defensive ward for the house.

"Aunt Petunia, don't you think the house is well enough protected? I doubt a Dragon Slave could destroy it," he teased his aunt who only smiled as she continued to work the spell into the walls. Wards preventing unauthorised entry were wrapped around the house like a thick blanket, tied together with spells to prevent damage to the house and to repulse magical attacks. Spells preventing Albus Dumbledore and Vernon Dursley were a dime a dozen, wrapped so tightly that air wouldn't get through them. All together the house couldn't be destroyed. Charms preventing fire damage, water damage, tornadoes, and even blizzards were wrapped around the whole block, making for a very protected neighbourhood.

"You can say that again after I tell you what my listening spells have found out," she told the green-eyed child, handing him a parchment filled with a conversation.

Reading it he grimaced, "so the Department of Mysteries is going to attempt to crack the wards. I don't envy them, sorcerer's wards can't be cracked by simple wizardry." He smirked at his aunt, "can I put up a few wards?"

"After I'm done, and only if you don't harm my wards integrity with pranks," was the reply. Hearing the dismissal in her voice Harry went to the kitchen to cook as it was something he enjoyed doing. He got out bacon, eggs, and bread and started making breakfast. He fried the bacon and scrambled the eggs while toasting the bread in the toaster. Smiling at his work he quickly set the table for three and called Dudley down to the kitchen. He got a surprise to see Dudley had slimmed down a few inches.

"Wow Dud. You look a lot healthier."

"My friend Fleur got me to start looking at my health, apparently being the only male who doesn't drool has perks," he smirked at Harry, "Then again I hear you wouldn't drool because you like some guy named... Gred?"

Harry burst out with laughter, "Gred? Seriously. Gred?"

Dudley started laughing too, his body shaking slightly. Smiling Harry poured Dudley orange juice after filling the plates. After pouring himself lemonade he went to see if Petunia had finished shaping her latest ward and was surprised by what he saw, a large defensive warding spell flowing through the walls and a very tired looking Petunia walking towards him.

"Oh, good, you made breakfast," Petunia mumbled, "I'll just eat now... after I down a pepper-up." She stumbled her way into her potions cupboard and snagged a pepper-up, quickly popping the top. She guzzled the potion down and immediately looked better. "Thank you for breakfast Harry."

"You're welcome... did you over do the warding spell. I saw the runes flowing through the walls without magical aid," He said, concern evident in his voice, "You need to be careful, you've been using a lot of power lately."

"I'll be fine Harry, now what's this I hear about young George Weasley and a shower? Or the kissing, and hugging," her abrupt subject change bringing a flush to her nephews cheeks.

"What did I hear about an orc named Umbridge?" He countered.

"Touché."

"I could have also said Molly and a sorceress in a bar but..." He started.

"I get it," Petunia dead-panned, "I will attempt to be more discreet with public flirtation with married witches." A smile across her face made him doubt it.

"So you admit it was flirtation," he teased.

"I admit nothing of the sort," she said in a mock haughty tone.

"Mum, Harry, food is getting cold," Dudley called, making them both rush into the kitchen.

Sitting down to a family breakfast, Harry noted, was a nice occurrence. The enchanted objects around the room sparkling with magic, the nice food, and the good company was all that it took to complete the atmosphere of a calm environment. Were it not for the fact that defences were on high, it would almost be a normal day.

Unspeakable P.O.V

Unspeakable Gareth Naxen hated what he was ordered to do. The fact he would probably be arrested by Amelia Bones later made his day even worse. Having been ordered to apprehend Harry Potter and Petunia Dursley on the basis of being Sorcerer and Sorceress. They had also been ordered to take and snap one Dudley Dursley's wand to prevent his learning of Wizardry. Knowing this, he had sent a note to Amelia telling her everything before going on with his orders. The other unspeakables present, barring Rookwood, agreed with his efforts.

"I'm telling you they don't deserve magic," Rookwood was starting up yet again, having somehow removed the silencing curse.

"Perhaps you would like an explosive castration curse sent to you instead of the silencer," Gareth said, quickly shutting up the former death eater. He sighed, 'the moment we started accepting former death eaters is the moment we went down hill.'

"Can I do the curse?" asked a young male of Veela decent, Rookwood had been harassing him ever since finding out, never mind that he didn't have any Veela magic just the appearance. He wanted revenge on the cruel man.

"You little halfbreed!" Yelled the now irate death eater, "You little shit should remember who your..." A scream of pain came up from the male who was now lying on the floor bleeding out from his testicles.

"I am not healing him," was all Gareth said as he lowered his wand, "anyone else can if they want to."

A chorus of no resounded. They all smiled before looking at the house in front of them. They could see the defensive magic and grimaced, Fudge wouldn't like what they reported back to them.

"We could try removing the wards?" A lady by the name of Amali nearly asked. She was a small lady, five foot five with white blonde hair reaching past her waist. At 23 she was a powerful witch who specialised in warding and their invention. "Wait," she said, "no we can't, we'd be eviscerated." They cringed.

"We really can't blame them for that can we?" Gareth asked rhetorically, "He just sent assassins to attempt to capture them." No one asked who he was, Fudge wasn't a good name in the Department of Mysteries. "All we can do is hope to find a way around them." They looked at the warding structure, seeing no loophole large enough to manipulate, completely unaware of the sorceress watching them.

At that moment several aurors and Amelia Bones popped into existence, "I really hope you didn't do anything too stupid Gareth, even though you sent that note to us if you even touched one of them I'll have you in a cell in Azkaban sooner than you can blink."

"We just got to the wards an hour ago, we can't get past them. Rookwood is a few streets away bleeding out under a muggle repelling charm," Gareth said flippantly, "and who knows how that happened."

"Oh dear," Amelia said sarcastically, "Whatever will we do, a death eater dying."

"Indeed," Gareth smirked, "One less bigot. What shall we do?"

"He is officially killed by a muggle. Fitting," Amelia said, "A shot from a muggle gun would work, right?"

"Explosive Castration, so yes," answered the Veela descended male.

"Good one," pipped an auror, Shacklebolt by name.

"I would have liked to see that one," said the infamous Mad-Eye Moody. Everyone laughed, knowing Mad-Eye took the release of 'imperioused' death eaters personally.

It took a while longer this time, probably because of the fact that I was doing homework this morning. College classes are hard to accomplish. Have Fun and Review.