Chapter 28
Harry stood at his kitchen sink and poured himself a large glass of water; he wanted something stronger but he knew if Nikki smelt alcohol on his breath it would surely remind her of that night. He drank the cold liquid and realised how hungry he was. They had been home an hour but Nikki hadn't mentioned dinner, in fact she had barely spoken since they left work. He looked at the door to his bedroom and saw her slight frame curled up on his bed. He had to make her feel better; he felt partly responsible as he knew that she wasn't ready to come in to work for whole days just yet. He poured a second glass of water and took it to her.
"Hey Nik, I brought you some water."
There was no response. Nikki simply lay still with her back to Harry in the foetal position.
"I'll just leave it here on the side for you okay."
Harry sat on the end of the bed beside her and gently stroked her hair. He thought that maybe she had drifted into sleep but her sharp in take of breath told him otherwise.
"Nik, do you want me to lie with you?"
Nikki tensed and then slowly nodded her reply. Harry pulled off his shoes and wandered to the other side of the bed. He climbed on and waited for Nikki to reach for him, however she was still, except for the tears streaming down her cheeks. Helpless Harry's heart ached,
"Nikki, can… can I hold you?" Harry swallowed his apprehension.
Again Nikki nodded her response. Harry reached out for her and pulled him close to his chest when the soreness of her upper body stopped her moving and made her wince,
"Ssssssss" Her hand went straight to her ribs.
"Hey, hey, what did you do?" Harry sat up concerned,
"Nothing. I'm just sore today. It's fine Harry." It was the most she had said in an hour.
"I'm sorry I should have realised, a full day at work is bound to be tough on your body, whether you're performing PMs or not. Sorry Nik, is that why you're upset? God I'm an idiot, I should have realised; the soreness has brought it all back to you hasn't it?"
Again, Nikki nodded.
"Here, let me see?"
Carefully, Harry moved his hands to her shirt and slowly began to lift the material but before he could see anything Nikki yelled at him pushing him away from her.
"Sorry, I didn't think, I'm sorry Nik."
"Harry, it's okay, really, I just- I just, I'm tired, I think I'm going to get into bed and have a sleep."
"You need to eat first Nik,"
"Well, can you wake me when dinner is ready? Please? I just want to sleep Harry."
"If you're sure?" Nikki attempted a smile and Harry kissed her hand,
"Harry can you pass me your joggers and hoodie? I want to get changed."
"Hey what happened to you wearing your own pjs? Don't they live up to the Cunningham cosiness?" Harry chuckled in hope that it would pull her mind from awful things.
He pulled the ensemble from his wardrobe and placed them on the bed next to her. He took her hand and gently squeezed it to let her know that he was right outside if she needed him.
Nikki pulled off her clothes with some difficulty and sat in her underwear on the bed examining the 5 deep burns on her thigh; they stung still and she knew she needed to apply more sudocream. Her attentions then took her to the pain from her ribs; there was a large red mark under the left of her ribcage. It was already turning a purple colour. She hated her body; she covered it up with Harry's clothing and hid herself in the scent of him. She felt safe and then she remembered. Lister Hughes. The man from her memory was still faceless but Hughes' horrifying verification rung through her mind like blistering venom Didn't you get the roses I sent? I really enjoyed our special evening, you were exactly how I imagined you to be; you loved every minute of it really, didn't you? Didn't you Nicola?
Trembling, she pulled her legs up to her chest and held them tight with her arms. She was terrified. She wanted to tell Harry. If she told Harry he would help her, he would make Hughes go away, Harry would make everything okay. She considered how she would tell Harry until Hughes' voice tortured her with his brutality They won't believe a word you say, you're so pathetic, you're hysterical. You're disgusting; it makes them sick, they'll laugh at you. Tell them it's me next time I won't be so gentle. Nikki refused to let him win, she stood up determined, she would tell Harry about Hughes and he would make it better… and then she remembered how his sordid weight paralysed her, she remembered how he'd forced her legs apart and... the taste of blood and his balled fist, she remembered the searing pain and the intrusion. She wouldn't go through that again, she couldn't. No matter how desperately she wanted to tell Harry and ask for his help the terror she felt for Hughes far outweighed anything rational. Sobbing ,she collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Nikki's crying brought Harry to her side. He held her and let her cry, he was at a loss, and hoped that his presence would be a calming influence on her hurting heart. Minutes passed and his legs were dead but he refused to move in fear of alarming her. Her sobs became whimpers and Harry knew that for now, it was nearly over. Her hitched breathing eventually became regular and steady and the tears had stopped yet Harry still cradled her close; her body still trembled and he knew that this was something else entirely. He had seen her, cry, scream and shout, he had witnessed her sobs and her nightmares but Harry knew that Nikki was experiencing something different. He waited a little longer until he felt her fidget in his arms,
"Nikki, please tell me… "
She tightened her hold on his shirt.
"Nik please, you're shaking… what is it? Maybe I can help, maybe?" Harry held back his tears,
"I can't Harry- I want to but I just can't" She avoided his gaze,
"Can't or won't?"
"Harry please don't do this- I can't, I can't- I'm afraid- I don't want him to hurt me, I couldn't take it, I can't have that happen again – I"
"Sshh Nik, s'okay, it's okay, nothing's going to happen, one one's going to hurt you- ssh"
Harry held her until she slept. He gently lifted her to the bed and pulled the sheets over her frame. He kissed her cheek and reluctantly went to finish making dinner; if anything, he would make sure she kept her weight up.
Harry called Leo and explained that Nikki's first full day had taken it's told on her physically and mentally. Misguided, he described how the aches and pains had brought back memories of the attack and in turn had terrified her realising the man from the dinner had still not been identified. As he hung up the phone there was a knock at the door. He padded over and unlocked it, as he opened the door he was surprised to see Lister Hughes stood holding several manila files. Perplexed Harry simply rubbed his eyes,
"Hi, I thought I'd bring these over. Nikki left them; she said she wanted to work on them this evening so I thought I'd bring them over… I mean she was upset at the end of the day and I didn't want to… you know…" Harry thought that Hughes seemed genuinely concerned,
"Okay, thanks, she'll appreciate it." Harry took the files,
"Thought it could be a peace offering too Harry." Exhausted and considering that he had to work with Hughes for a few weeks, Harry smiled and shook his hand,
"Look... Niks is asleep, but erm, why don't you come in for a drink, I could use some male company."
"Excellent, why not?"
? XX
