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I Love To Hate You

Chapter Twenty Eight: Letter Eight: Recondite

Edward's POV

I watched the little runt leave school, looking around anxiously. He had his back to me, with his head down, probably trying to be sly and slick about his exit. His car was close to where I was standing so I didn't quite get why he was walking the other way. It didn't matter though; he was walking towards the back exit which helped me out.

I got out of the car, not my silver Volvo as I know Mike would recognise it, but the not so subtle Vanquish which does attract attention although he didn't notice it. Quickly I made my way across the car park and followed him out the back exit, round the back of the buildings and into a small pathway that made its way through a wooded area.

My footsteps were very quiet and he didn't hear them as I grabbed his shirt and shoved him down onto the ground. My anger was boiling up and I really wanted to kill him, though I wouldn't let it get that far.

"What the fuck?!"

Turned out the guy on the ground wasn't Mike. It was a guy in the year below and he looked like he was going to piss himself.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I pulled him up of the ground. "Fuck I thought you were someone else."

"Alright, can I go?"

"Yeah…yeah go." To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I was bloody gutted.

Sighing I ran my hand through my hair and stomped my way back to the car. Mike's car was gone, the bastard must have been aware with what was going on, which meant I'd have to try again to beat the crap out of him.

Masen could tell I was riled when I came in so didn't come and see me and spent majority of the night out of my way. Carlisle was working and Esme also knew it would be a mistake to approach me.

I just wanted to make the person who screwed me over, Mike, feel about a quarter of what I've been feeling and going through. The only difference is that their marks will fade; mine have been imprinted on my record for the world to see. No matter what I do to them it won't compare to what they've done to me but at least I'd feel a little bit better about it.

Bella's POV

When I got out my truck in the morning at school Alice practically screamed my name across the car park.

"Bella!" she called, scaring half the people around us.

"What is it?" I asked as she squealed in excitement. I wonder if she did that in bed with Jasper.

"My parents are going away for New Years."

"Aww I'm sorry. You can come over and we can do something," I said, trying to console her.

"No, no. That's a good thing. Since they're leaving me I asked them to let me throw a party but they didn't want one in the house so they have rented out the country club and I'm holding a masqueraded ball! Isn't that great?!" She jumped up in down while clapping.

"Wow, yeah I guess that's good."

"You guess?" She pouted at me and shook her head. "It's fantastic. So you are coming and before you protest Rose and I are going to be doing your make-up, hair, and deciding what you where. For that day you will be Barbie Bella and just have to deal with it. I'm so excited."

"I gathered."

"But we can't let the guys know what we're wearing. Only us three can know what each other are wearing. I want it to all be a mystery. Then at midnight we get our new year's kiss with a masqueraded prince. I'm hoping mine's Jasper."

"Obviously. You do know Alice you'll be kinda obvious, no matter what you wear."

"Aww how?" The pout was back.

"Your height and size. Jasper will be able to tell it's you immediately." She looked deep in thought as I said that.

"Well then I'm just going to have to work on a way for me to hide in the crowd." I laughed and shook my head.

"Alice you'll never hide in the crowd. Hell you'll be centre of attention and not realise it."

"Is that a bad thing?" Her face was all sad like I had just insulted her shoes.

"No, you are just so amazing everyone likes to look at you therefore becomes the centre of attention without even realising. You're not like those that try and hog the limelight," I said, nodding at Lauren who was strutting past us, basically asking for guys to check her out.

"Well look I have to go and plan what you're going to wear." She kissed my cheek then excitingly ran off saying goodbye after her.

I shook my head and went into the school building, glad to get in out of the cold. The first thing I did was go to the crush hall and look in the dictionary for a letter. They were like an addiction for me and I really would be disappointed when they ended but then again I would finally meet the guy sending them to me.

I expect that the first time I meet him will be awkward. I know what I expect, in my head, but if I was to actually meet him, well that's going to be a different matter. He could be completely different and possibly a disappointment due to my contrasting feelings for Edward.

I like him when I shouldn't and with each passing day I like him more, possibly to the point that I could be falling for him. That would be a disaster for the whole world. Our two clashing personalities would not gel together well and we'd most likely end up killing each other.

Plus I don't think I could ever date him, if it ever came to that which is highly unlikely. His history and past is too much to forget. He treated girls like shit, acted like a dick to other guys that he deemed below him and was just generally an ass. Though a cute ass at that.

Anyway, I wouldn't be able to cast the thoughts of the other girls he's hurt in his past and how they must have felt. He could also do that to me, break my heart and I don't know how well I'd recover from that. For starters there would be a split in our friendship group.

With Alice and Jasper now a couple along with Rose and Emmett if Edward and I were to fall out they would be left in a rather sticky situation and I wouldn't want them to have to pick sides. Which they would eventually have to do since Edward and I have the maturity of five year olds when fighting each other.

I wish things could have been different. Like when we were younger, growing up together and I first developed that school girl crush on the gorgeous bronze haired boy who had the cutest smile. I just wish he had a similar crush on me. That would have changed things; we could have been really good together.

Not anymore though. Our relationship is twisted full of love, hate, anger, sadness, lust, moments of passion and then moments of revulsion. I'm pretty sure if we were locked up in a room together one of us would be dead by the time we were let out. It's just in our nature together to hate each other and to fight. So why would that change after so many years in that pattern?

I had gotten away from myself. I came to the crush hall to get my letter, not think about Edward and I possibly having a relationship. The dictionary was in the usual location and after taking it off the shelf I searched through the pages and found the newly highlighted text.

Recondite- Little known; obscure.

Another word to describe our situation but if I had it my way things would be so different. I'd know his name and every little bit of information I could find out about him. Sadly I hadn't sussed his bloody clues so the chances of that happening are very slim as of yet. But I've not given up hope. One of these days I will crack them.

Dear Bella,

I was sad to see you hadn't texted me again. :( Haha am I asking for too much? Anyway here are the answers to your questions. Could you not think of your own, is that why you had to use some of mine? Just kidding.

What do you plan to do after highschool?

Going to University but I don't know which one.

What are you going to study?

Anything, I haven't thought about it. But I am kinda looking into music.

When's your birthday?

Once every year. Why is yours not?

Now my questions which I want proper answers to. Don't be vague.

Are you going away for Christmas?

Where can I put your Christmas present for you?

Please tell me you are going to Alice's Masqueraded Ball?

Will I get to kiss you at midnight?

Will you be going with a date?

Please answer them properly. I think we both know which question I want a real answer to. Get back to me as fast as you can.

Sincerely,

Your secret admirer.

He wanted to kiss me and at a masqueraded ball he could and I'd never be able to tell who it was. Damn Alice for not just holding a normal New Year's Eve party like every other person would. But no, she just had to be unique and see this as a time for a fancy party. For once I was not happy with her excitement and creative ideas.

After folding the letter away I made my way to my locker and dumped the books I wasn't going to need then heading off to class. It was pretty dull so I decided I would text my secret admirer since he was upset I hadn't recently.

To: Secret Admirer

From: Bella

Were you feeling like being a smart ass when writing the beginning of this letter? Xx

I closed my phone and slipped it back into my pocket then began to pay attention to the droning voice of the teacher going on about god only knows what. Though it didn't seem to matter since it definitely wasn't relevant to the lesson. Thankfully, my secret admirer texted back quickly, giving me something to take my mind of the mundane class.

To: Bella

From: Secret Admirer

Aww did you not like that side of me. I felt like mixing it up. After all I have been nothing but a gentleman as of recent that I may as well let some of my personality slip into these letters so you're not shocked when you meet me. Xx

To: Secret Admirer

From: Bella

Are you not a gentleman all the time? Should I prepare myself for the worst when meeting you? :) Xx

It took a few more minutes until I got my response which I wasn't happy with. That meant I had to pay attention during that time and it was really rather hard to when the guy was just going on and on about nothing.

To: Bella

From: Secret Admirer

I would like to think I'm a gentleman all the time but then again I know I'm not. We all slip up now and then. No you shouldn't prepare yourself for the worst. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when we meet. Speak to you later. Xx

Surprised. I hate surprises. But does he think it'll be a good surprise or a bad surprise when I finally meet him. Then again I don't know how any surprises are good so either way it's going to be unfortunate for me.

With everything going on, my secret admirer, school, Edward, Alice's party, it just felt like there was too much for me to handle and I wanted a break from it all. Therefore, I decided, after school I would head over to the best distraction created, Edward.

Although he was some of my problems his lips were not and would do the job of keeping me entertained so I could give my brain a rest from the chaos that has been my life lately. Hopefully he wouldn't have other plans.