Seems like we're getting mixed feeling about Rowan~
What a shame that the Radande people haven't got phones...

Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes~


"So," Bill said simply.
"So, what?" Dipper replied but didn't turn to look at the other.
"Shooting Star is off searching for some rock and you just want to sit there and stare at this electromagnetic device while it rots your small – and not to mention, already decaying – brain?"
"Yup," the boy confirmed.
"How boring and mindless."
"What else do you want me to do? Help Mabel find the stones?"
"Well it would certainly be more interesting than this. Say kid..." the demon flicked the back of the boy's head to get his attention. Dipper turned to face him irritatedly while the blond continued: "ever heard of the Erlking?"
Annoyance forgotten and interest piqued, Dipper asked: "the Erlking? No, who is he?"
"A myth, the king of fairies, kidnapper of children, Erlkönig, whatever you want to call him."

"But what does he actually do?" the brunet raised an eyebrow.
Bill removed his feet from their place over the arm of the chair and quickly stood up, making Dipper scoot backwards and arch his neck slightly to keep looking at him. "Why don't we go on an adventure and find out?" in a burst of blue flames, the third journal was in the demon's hands and he offered the book to the boy.
Dipper took it without a second thought and reached out a hand to take Bill's – the two shook hands before the shack vanished in a flash of cobalt warmth and was replaced with the lush greenery of the forest.

Tucking the journal inside his vest, Dipper quickly scanned the area, "so what are we looking for?"
"Do you hear anything?" the demon asked instead of answering.
The brunet listened for a few seconds, "uh, yeah, the leaves and birds and stuff like that. Why?"
"Don't worry about it. Anyway," Bill placed his hands on his hips and stood tall as he, too, looked around. "If we walk in," he pointed a finger to the right of him, "that direction then you'll probably hear something sooner or later."
"Are you telling me that you don't know where this Erlking guy is?"
"Oh boy do I get a kick out of you, Pine Tree. It's cute that you still think there are things I don't know."
"Come on, man, do you know where he is or not?"
"Course I do! What do you take me for? Some pea-brained mortal? Now why don't we go find some Barf Fairies while we wait?" With a hand on Dipper's back, Bill ushered the boy along while said human asked:
"Wait for what?"
"Haven't you mean listening at all? Wait for the Erlking."
"But-"
"The Erlking," Bill cut him off bluntly.
"Why-"
"Erlking," he did so again.
"Bill-"
"Erlking."
With a huff of annoyance, Dipper gave up and allowed himself to be led by Bill.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Y'know, Great Uncle Ford wrote about these in the journal," Dipper pointed at the small figures with his pencil. The Barf Fairies that Bill had taken them to were, as expected, disgusting creatures; quite the opposite of regular fairies. Their skin was a sickly shade of green-yellow, bumpy and unattractive; their hair was black and streaked back in a fancy up-do with lumps of brown in there. Dipper had a feeling that they used barf as hair gel – truly disgusting. Even their wings seemed to be coated in a thin layer of barf; however, their dresses seemed normal enough to be made of a black material. The brunet voiced the thought but wished he didn't once Bill replied.

"Oh yeah," the demon chirped, "their clothes are actually made of rat skin! Y'know, because rats carry diseases that could kill-"
"Yeah, I get it," the teen cut him off with a shudder and poked idly at the fairies with the tip of his pencil, only for one of them to barf on the end of it. "Ew," he wiped it on the grass next to him.
"Lighten up, Pine Tree!" Bill clapped him on the back forcefully, knocking the air from the human. "Keep frowning like that and the Erlking won't want you."
"You still haven't told me anything about this guy yet, what do you mean he won't want me? Am I some kind of sacrifice or something?" he joked, waving his pencil around in a circle and leaning back on his hand.
"Well you might have to sacrifice one of your hands but-"
"What?" the boy panicked and pulled his hands to his chest protectively.
"Or maybe it was your left foot?" the blonde pondered.
Dipper only pulled his feet as close to himself as possible.
"Heck, maybe it was your tongue or your eyes or even your thumbs – oh jeez, imagine not having thumbs, that'd be a real hoot!" he laughed.
"Why did you drag me out here if I'm going to lose all of that stuff?!"
"Relax, kid, I'm just messing with you. You're so high-strung, it's adorable," Bill chuckled.
"I am not adorable, I'm manly," the brunet muttered but relaxed, letting his legs stretch out again.
"Whatever you say, kid."

The thirteen-year-old opened his mouth to further his point but closed it again and listened carefully while Bill stood up wordlessly. "Do you hear that?"
"Music?"
"Yeah."
"Nope!"
Dipper stood up.
"Lead the way, Pine Tree," Bill gestured enthusiastically for the boy to do just that – and he did.

The human made his way through the forest, manoeuvring his way past trees and bushes while speaking sparsely to his demonic companion, each time he spoke only being short phrases or blunt answers. "How do you not hear this?"
"Well, you see, I got bored with this physical form and decided I wanted something new so I messed around in here," he pointed to the inside of his ear; "with a fork and now I can't hear anything." He laughed despite not getting a response, "I'm kidding... You know where you're going right?"
"Yes," the boy answered surely as he stepped over a rock.

After some more time, the boy asked again: "you seriously don't hear that? It sounds like someone singing. You're a demon, aren't you meant to have better hearing than me?" He looked back at the blond who trailed behind him, only to shoot back around again and keep walking straight – the moment he looked away from his destination, a screeching, deafening, painful static filled his ears.
"Just keep walking, kid," Bill instructed, patting the boy's head assuringly.
Soon enough, Dipper gave no response when Bill tried to start a conversation, too engrossed in finding the owner of the voice. Only minutes later, he found himself humming along to the melody that filled his ears.

After ten more minutes of making their ways through the forest without talking, the duo came across something unexpected.

In their path – or perhaps this was their destination – stood a woman. Tall and slender, her skin was tanned and chocolatey tresses of hair curled around her shoulders; clad in a dress made entirely of leaves that allowed only the tips of her toes to poke from the bottom, vibrant flowers were tangled in her locks of hair. Her mouth was stretched wide, moving quickly, but Bill couldn't hear a sound coming from it. The blond quickly concluded that they had reached their destination.
"Alright, kid, you can stop walking now," the demon took the still walking human by the shoulders and spun him around quickly.
Dipper winced as the static filled his head again and covered his ears with his hands, desperately trying to turn around again just to make the noise stop. He was held in place, however, as Bill tapped his forehead, where his birthmark was. The static faded quickly and Dipper could finally think for himself again. He muttered a quiet 'thank you' to the blond as he rubbed at his mildly fuzzy head.
"Well we might not have found the Erlking but we found his daughter," Bill rolled his eyes; "whatever her name was."
"Is she the one who was singing?" the mortal asked and turned to look at the woman. He had to admit that he was slightly disappointed by her lack of character – no movement or talking and her singing had since stopped so she could instead watch the two. A stamping of hooves resounded through the area, audibly growing close and closer.

"The Erlking's daughter, kidnapper of children. Safe trip, Pine Tree," Bill said.
"Wha-" before Dipper could finish the word, he was scooped up by a slender arm. He screamed – rather girlishly, not that he would admit it – when he found himself placed on the back of a horse, tucked under the arm of the Erlking's daughter. The steed that they rode upon was uncomfortable for reasons that Dipper could only guess, his main guess being that it was because the horse was made entirely of branches, wood and sticks while it's mane was a mossy green.

"What's going on?!" he cried out, praying that the woman might give him an answer. She didn't. "Where are you taking me?!" He almost fell from the horse's back and onto the floor when they made a sharp turn but luckily – or perhaps not so luckily – the woman kept a tight grip on him that stopped him from falling. "B-Bill!" He called, voice jumpy as the wooden steed jumped over an obstacle that stood in its way, the breath being knocked from his lungs when he was knocked forward. There was a burning pain in his right eye before he got an answer:
'Yellow,' the demon's voice replied in his brain.
'What's going on?! Why is she kidnapping me?' he thought past the pain, but pushed the heel of his hand into the socket in hopes of easing it.
'About that, I think she wants to eat you? Yeah, pretty sure that her and her
old man eat children for dinner.'
'Please tell me you're just messing with me again...'
'Nope!'
The boy groaned aloud before trying to think of a plan to save himself. The journal – surely there was something in there worth reading. Pulling the large book from his vest, he removed the palm from his eye as he opened it up to flick through the pages but was surprised when it was plucked from his grip. "Hey!" he reached up to retrieve it from the Erlking's daughter – the Erlprincess, he decided, was a suitable name – only to witness her throw it over her shoulder like it was nothing.
"Wait, wait, wait!" he demanded, desperate to retrieve what she had tossed away.

Before he knew it, Dipper was once again a victim of her melody; the tune she sang sinking into his brain and ceasing his struggles. He turned obediently to watch the path ahead. He could vaguely make out, just past the singing, a voice assuring him: 'Don't worry, kid, I've got you.'
"Ok~" he sang back happily, earning a laugh from the voice in his head.

A flash caught the teen's eye on the floor and he looked down, smiling absent-mindedly, to see that the hoof of the wooden horse had caught on fire. With a loud whinny, the steed tumbled over onto its side, sending the Erlprincess and Dipper flying. The horse dissolved into a mass of dirt once the woman had fallen off, yet she maintained her tight grip on the boy she had kidnapped.

Spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt, there was a burning pain in Dipper's right eye while each of his muscles felt like lead, unable to be moved. The warmth of the Erlprincess was ripped away and the angelic singing came to an abrupt stop.
"You would think she'd be capable of having a regular conversation," Bill scoffed before yanking the human to his feet and shoving a book into his arms. "Take better care of this thing kid," the blond commanded.
"First you let her kidnap me but then you save me. Make up your mind, man, what do you want?" the teen glared at the other but tightened his grip on the journal.
"Entertainment!" the immortal laughed before directing his attention toward the woman across from them: "so do you talk?"

Instead of uttering an answer, she raised a clawed hand in one swift motion – with the motion came a barricade of trees than enclosed Bill in a small area.
"Bill!" Dipper called and moved to help the other only to be snatched away into those same arms once more. The Erlprincess quickly shoved a hand over his eyes, despite his protests, and there was a rush of wind before she let him see again. They were once again sitting upon the wooden steed, riding away from Bill's enclosure. He watched as the barricade of trees were set alight, burning to ashes under a cobalt flame; the immortal stepped past the crumbling ashes nonchalantly before disappearing in a flash.

The being reappeared in front of the wooden steed immediately, hands ready to attack. The woman swerved left, however, to narrowly avoid the blow and make it past completely unscathed – almost completely unscathed. The leafy tail of the creature had caught on fire, being eaten by the flame at a fast rate. The woman seemed prepared and made another sharp turn and it wasn't long until they came across a river, running through it without hesitation. A shiver ran down Dipper's spine as the woman's eyes scraped over him.
'Probably eyeing you up to see where she can get the most meat from you,' Bill spoke in his head – there was that burning in his right eye again.
'Argh, where are you?' he thought back; 'my eye is killing me and I think it's from being so close to this Erlprincess lady.'
'Maybe if you looked forward.'
The boy did as told and faced forward again but no one was there.
'Now look behind you again,' Bill instructed.
Dipper did so and was startled to come face-to-face with the Erlprincess, their noses touching. He shrieked and pushed her away roughly. "Personal space!" he cried and watched as the woman tumbled from her place on the steed's back, onto the floor.

Now that his sight wasn't being blocked by her figure, Dipper saw that the horse's tail had been burned away, its wooden body now catching on fire. "Oh jeez, I thought that went out when we went through the river!"
"You offend me," Bill reappeared behind the boy, now sitting on the horse, too. "I thought you would know that I'm not so weak that my fire can be put out by hydrogen and oxygenof all things."
Dipper jumped back and shrieked again, almost falling from the horse again if it weren't for Bill grabbing him and pulling him back on. "Stop doing that!"
"Don't worry, Pine Tree, the chances of you suffering from a heart attack are pretty low. Maybe seventy percent?"
"Seventy?!"
"Did I say seventy? I meant seventeen, wow I just can't think today," he laughed. "Still smarter than you meat-sacks though! Hey, why aren't you driving this thing?" he gestured to the horse that continued to gallop. Without giving the young boy time to answer, he chuckled again; "what, gnome got your tongue? Don't worry, Pine Tree, I can sort it."

Before Dipper could register half of what Bill had just said, he protested loudly as he watched the horse crumbling to ashes in the grass, leaving him to tumble to the floor and Bill to float along idly, watching him. "Jeez, Pine Tree, you're so on edge today. You should take a chill pill, they might not grow on trees yet but in a few hundred years they will."
Rubbing at his aching head, the boy glared at his friend before brushing himself off and standing up. "What happened to the Erlprincess? I can't hear her singing anymore."
"Oh, I dealt with her," the immortal grinned.
"Do I want to know?"
"Probably not."
"Then can you at least help me out and tell me some stuff that I can write down? Because all I've got so far is the fact that she's a psycho who kidnaps people."
"More than enough information if you ask me."
Dipper rolled his eyes and snorted "of course it is."
"Alright, alright, c'mon, Pine Tree." he pushed the boy backward to sit and lean against a nearby tree and sat next to him.
"So how did you actually get rid of her?" the boy inquired.
"That's for me to know and you to never attempt for as long as you live."

After thirty minutes of writing and conversing about the day's events, Dipper finally said: "you wanna go watch some TV?"
"Electromagnetic pyromaniacs, here we come," Bill replied enthusiastically before the two disappeared in a blue fire.


The Erlking on Wikipedia: wiki/Erlking
The Erlking's daughter is also there, too. I decided to write her into this instead of her dad, oh well.

But guess who got Journal 3? Me! Barf fairies are from there, of course and who knows, maybe I'll put in some other things from the journal, too. Maybe some cursed doors or beard cubs... I don't know.

I feel like my writing for this story is slowly getting worse and worse. Oh no. I didn't write a plan this time either, sorry!

Feel free to request some things I can have the team mess with before my writing drops down to pre-school standards ;D