CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT REMEMBRANCE
The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.
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CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
"What if I were to never see her again?"
Hamish's words hung in the air like a dark cloud as I heard the panic in his voice. "I've checked and there are flights to Newquay. I could get a taxi from there. She must not be alone!" His voice cracked as he spoke.
There was irony in the fact that Ruth and Hamish had not seen each other for 50 years, and yet their letters had become so personal that in their minds' eyes they had seen each other. And of course among Martin and me, and Al and Morwenna, Ruth received constant attention. Yet I understood and could not be dismissive of Hamish's feelings.
I chose my words carefully. "Hamish, I know you feel desperate. Even if you were here you could not see Ruth in hospital. Upon returning she'll need a good while to recuperate. I have every confidence that she will survive this, Hamish. She has a strong will to live, not the least of which is tied to your renewed friendship."
"Louisa, I just feel so helpless so far away."
"There's something you can do; you must do. Please write her and post it overnight delivery. I think a letter from you would be most heartening.
"Well, of course, I'll do that, Louisa. I can see the difficulty of my coming now. Would just be in the way. Please keep me posted on how she is. I simply must know!"
I promised myself at that moment that I would call him daily with an update.
"Yes, of course I will. I have your number. And Hamish, I want to extend an invitation to you to come be with us in the spring. When I see the first pink blossom on our magnolia tree I will let you know and we will arrange your coming."
"Thank you Louisa, that is most kind. I have told Ruth I would like for her to visit me in Aberdeen. Do you think that could be arranged?"
With all of his hiking in Scotland, James had told us how much we were missing by not planning a holiday there. I replied, "Hamish, Martin and I would very much like to make a trip your way and bring Ruth. Perhaps we can do that in June or July."
That was Tuesday and the next morning a letter from Hamish was delivered to our door. I told Martin that I wanted to visit Ruth and take the letter to her. He cautioned me to wear a mask and be very careful, but understood that I needed to go.
Upon entering Ruth's room I found her sleeping. Her appearance was quite ashen and I knew she would not be leaving hospital soon. I sat until she stirred a bit and let her know I was there. "Hello, Aunt Ruth. I come bearing a special gift you will want to see."
She spoke softly, "Oh, Louisa. Good to see you. I'm afraid I will not be good company today. I hardly have the energy to speak."
"Don't fret about that. A letter from Hamish arrived this morning and I knew you'd want to see it. When he didn't receive a letter this week, he called with concern. I explained your situation and naturally he is distressed, but I promised I'd keep him informed of your progress."
"Oh my. A letter from Hamish. They're always so long. I don't feel like reading a long letter right now. Would you read it to me, please?"
I opened the envelope and was surprised. "Well, Ruth, it's not long at all. In fact it's not a letter. It's a poem."
I quickly scanned it and knowing how I react to something like this I hoped I could get through it. I began,
My dearest Ruth,
A single star appeared in my dark night,
The moment I saw your letter in the post.
One gets used to traveling in the dark.
Being lost.
Better than light showing what has been lost forever.
Now you have brought stars into my night.
Thousands of distant orbiting swirling balls of fire, just pin points
of light in my sky.
I did not believe there could be light again after she died.
She knew there could be.
Told me so.
No! No! I would not hear it.
I could not.
Then came the day I knew it would be a betrayal of her not to try.
She always sought what I needed.
What was best for me.
My letter to you was a token of my faithfulness to her.
So, now I think I can believe in life after death.
You have brought life to me, Ruth.
With you as my companion, I do not fear walking in the night,
With the stars you have strewn across the heavens.
I will come in the spring.
We will walk at night and bask in the light of the stars.
With much love and care,
Hamish
Both our eyes were brimming with tears and we said nothing for a bit. Ruth spoke, "Louisa, Hamish is a bloody fanciful romantic...and I love him. I do. I wish he were here."
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The magnolia is the first tree to bloom in the spring in Cornwall. There have been blooms in January but mid February is more typical. It is a sign that winter is being defeated and a harbinger of a glorious, if not wet, springtime to come. The gardens will be awash with color in a matter of weeks once one sees blooms on the magnolia trees.
I was looking out the kitchen window in early February and noticed buds on our magnolia. This did not just mean spring was a around the corner. My mind went to the words I had spoken to Hamish. This meant that he and Aunt Ruth would actually meet up for the first time since they had begun corresponding many months ago.
So, on a chilly but sunny day in March Ruth had joined us at White Rose House as we awaited the arrival of Hamish and his daughter Peggy who was driving him down. I thought it would be much better than having them arrive at High Trees with prying eyes all around. Late afternoon, it must have been around four, they finally arrived. Upon entering introductions were made all around.
I must say Hamish's appearance belied his age. He was impeccably groomed and was quite handsome in kaki trousers and a brown wool tweed jacket.
Ruth and Hamish's greeting was quite restrained. He held out both hands and she took them. Looking at each other Hamish said, "Ruth, it's so good to see you." Ruth's reply was simply, "It was good of you to come."
It was Martin who, in his diffusing manner, broke in and said, "I've made reservations at a hotel nearby where we can have supper. Perhaps we can prepare and leave soon."
Ruth was quick to reply, "Why don't the three of you go enjoy yourselves. Hamish must be tired. We'd prefer to just stay here. If we get hungry we can forage for a bite."
This was orchestrated well. They wanted to be alone and we wanted to leave them alone. Of course my dense husband did not pick up on the script at all and tried to convince them they needed some good nourishment and should go with us. I was close enough for a nudge and a sigh and he got the message. We did share a pot of tea, and Peggy and I freshened up a bit before we left. My intention was to leave the happy couple to themselves for several hours. Martin would have to endure Peggy and me dawdle over desert and coffee.
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With the sound of the car leaving, we closed the door and walked back into the living room. "Hamish, is this real? Is this really happening? You may need to pinch me."
"Well, Ruth, pinching you is a pleasant thought, but I believe I'd like a proper hug."
With that we embraced and held each other without speaking. One thinks about the emotional energy that people generate by being together a lot. That is nothing compared to the latent feelings that had grown between us in over six months of writing letters. People make jokes about old love but somehow our lips joined in a kiss that we held and enjoyed forever. When we parted we looked at each other with eyes that I once thought were only for us when we were together in our 20's.
"My gosh, Hamish, I did not think I was capable of feelings like this. Evidently we have parts that still work."
I felt his hand slip onto my bum and gave it a squeeze with the comment,
"A request you made m'lady. Only too happy to comply," as he generously squeezed again.
"You know Hamish this is a quite heady experience, although I wouldn't limit it to that part of the anatomy. Perhaps we should sit down."
To be trite about it I was quite swept off of my feet. I had not known what to expect when we met face to face again, but I must say it was more than I hoped for. Our writing over the weeks and months had carried a crescendo of emotion as we spoke, not only of history and life, but of how we were coming to feel toward each other. We were candid and honest. I knew I could never replace Wei Ting and Hamish did not look for that. I wanted to protect his memory of her. We wanted to accept each other for who we are now shaped by many years of living after our early days together. It should not have come as a surprise, but it did, to realize we were in many ways the same two people who had a happy but brief relationship all those many years ago. It was my field after all. Our basic personalities are formed quite early; nurture and nature and all that.
We sat holding hands in a warm cuddle, not saying much. The evening was getting on and Hamish said, "We call it the gloaming at home, just before dark. On a nice day it's lovely as it is tonight. It's a wonderful view out of these windows. You know if you're a bit peckish, we could have a bite to eat."
"Alright, let's explore the possibilities." In the end we found bread to toast and good Cotswold cheese. We cooked up a quick Welsh Rarebit and had a quite satisfying supper. We both agreed that coffee would keep us awake but we did find some chocolate digestives in the pantry for a suitable finish.
"Ruth, I do look forward to meeting your friends at High Trees."
"Well, I will be in a lot of trouble if I do not show up with you tomorrow."
"We have four days together. Peggy has to be back by the end of the week. She wants to spend time exploring Cornwall. You know while I am here I want to talk about your coming to visit Aberdeen."
It was a clear night and walking back into the room after eating we stood at the window and watched the moon reflecting off the white tips of the waves. Hamish went over and pulled two large pillows off of the sofa and dropped them on the floor in front of the window.
"Ruth let's sit down here and watch the sky and the ocean."
"Hamish, we may get down, but we'll never get up."
"Oh, where is your sense of adventure?"
And with that Hamish somehow sat down on the pillow. I carefully went down on my knees and then sat back on the other pillow. So far, so good, but that would not be the real challenge, would it? We laid back with our heads on the pillows and looked out at white stars on an ink black sky. Then we looked at each other and could but smile.
"You know Hamish, I seem to remember your being quite ticklish in the ribs."
I took my finger and started tickling him and he began laughing.
"Some things never change. I knew it. I could always get you laughing."
We carried on like that for a bit and with our talking and laughter did not hear the diners returning from their night out.
The first thing we heard was Peggy saying, "Well, it looks to me like one of us should have stayed to chaperone you two!"
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It had been quite a day. We were able to settle everyone for the night. Peggy chose to stay in a hotel. Joan's room being available, we invited Ruth to spend the night with us instead of returning to High Trees. Hamish was in the guest room which had its own ensuite. Martin and I could finally adjourn to the privacy of our room.
"Martin, I hope we can still roll on the rug and laugh when we are 90."
"Louisa, whatever are you going on about? We don't roll on the rug and laugh now!"
"It's just so good to see Ruth and Hamish enjoying themselves. It seems finally meeting up has confirmed what they've said in their letters. And I did enjoy our evening out with Peggy. She is lovely and seems to be glad that her dad and Aunt Ruth have reconnected."
After finishing in the bath, Martin was in the bed and I walked back into the room wearing my white night gown. Martin calls it THE white night gown. And yes I was not being subtle. I turned out the light and the room was still illumined from the night sky. I slipped under the covers and cuddled up next to my Martin. As I kissed him I whispered in his ear,
"Mmmmm. Let's see if my little soldier is standing at attention...Well now, even saluting are we?"
We were not on a rug, but we were laughing.
