Chapter 27: Because I care

APoV

Jasper called me when I was about ten blocks away from Bella's apartment. At first, I thought about not answering, but then I realized he had no blame in this mess and he was just worried about me.

"Where are you?" Jasper asked as soon as I picked up the phone.

"I'm heading home" I simply replied.

"Tell me what's going on" he said softly. Oh, crap. I can never fool him. He knows me too well.

"I need to pick up some things" I tried to keep my voice steady while lying to him.

There was silence on the line for a couple of seconds. I didn't know what to think.

"Just don't kill him" Jasper whispered.

"I will call you back soon" I said and hung up.

I parked in our front yard and got out of the car. Edward's Volvo was not there, and it wasn't in the garage either. I picked up the phone and dialed the hospital number. The receptionist told me Edward had left the place at morning and that he wasn't supposed to come back until Monday. Apparently, his chief had ordered him to take "some days off". Stress reasons. I closed the phone and entered the house.

I crossed the living room, headed for the kitchen and finally up the stairs to the bedroom, but there was no sign of Edward. So I went to his room and found that his wardrobe was open and that some clothes were scattered all over the floor. His trip bag was also gone.

Fuck! I had no idea where to look for him. And I was sure he wasn't going to pick up his cell phone. Think Alice! Think!.

And then it hit me. I run to Carlisle studio, pushed open the door and headed for his desk. The first drawer was open and the key I was looking for was nowhere. Smiling I went to my room to pick up some stuff and went back to my car.

I called Jasper from the highway.

"Where are you now?" He asked.

"I'm driving to the beach house" I replied.

"Why on earth are you going there?". Ok, he was not happy.

"Because Edward is there and I need to find him" I said.

"You are not planning anything aggressive, right?"

"No, at least not physically brutal"

"I don't think this is a good idea" Jasper stated.

"I'm the only one that has not tried to talk to him. You heard what mom said" I answered.

"Yes, I heard. But I think you are too angry. It's not going to end up well".

"Jazz, where are you now?" I asked.

"At Bella's, of course" he said confused.

"Why?"

"I don't think I understand the question" he whispered.

"You pretend to be there because of me, but I know you are there because of her. Don't you?"

There was only silence on the other side of the line.

"You heard the story, you read the book, you saw the drawings. I know you feel it too. Why are you still there?" I repeated

"Because I care about her" he replied and after a moment of hesitation he added. "Just as I care about the rest of our family…"

"Bella is more than just a friend to me too. I think she is the losing member of our family. And I truly believe that Edward and Bella belong together. So I'm going to do all I can to get to Edward. I'm going to do it for them, because they are falling apart without each other. And I'm going to do it for our family too".

Jasper remained quiet for a long moment. I could hear his breathing in my ear.

"I love you. Drive carefully" he said then.

"I love you too. I will call you back later" and I hung up.

I arrived at evening. The sun was fading in the horizon. I got out of the car and went around the back of the house. I knew exactly where to find Edward. I held my bag close to my body, pressing it against my chest.

I saw him staring at the twilight. He was sitting by the pool; his bare feet on the water, and his eyes lost somewhere far away.

I hadn't seen him for a month. I had no idea until then how much I had missed him. Edward had always been my favorite brother and one of my favorite persons in the world. Seeing him like this – lost, sad, broken – was like looking at Bella all over again. They both had this dark aura around them, like if they had lost their souls.

I left my shoes and walked to him, sitting by his side and resting my feet in the water too. He didn't look at me.

"Hi" I said.

He didn't move.

"Don't" his voice was like ice. "Please".

I didn't ask. I knew what he was talking about: he didn't want to talk about it.

"I don't want to talk to anyone, even you" Edward continued.

"Too bad" I answered. "Because I do want to talk to you. Don't answer if you don't want to, but you will listen".

I grabbed my bag and took Bella's book out of it. I left it in the floor between us. He was curious enough to look at it.

"I won't" he replied.

"Yes you will. You will do it for me. But I think you should do it for you".

Edward turned around for the first time and looked at me. His eyes where hollow. There was not a single emotion in his pupils.

"I said no" he hissed.

"I don't care" I replied.

He looked angry and pissed for a moment, and I was glad to see it, because that was at least an emotion. I didn't care which one it was. It was something.

Edward buried his face in his hands not to see me and groaned.

"You love her" I simply stated, looking away from him to the horizon getting darker by the minute.

"It doesn't matter" he said.

"How could it not matter?"

"Because she doesn't love me" he replied.

For a couple of seconds I thought about forgetting my promise to Jasper and smack Edward across his face.

"How could you say that?" I asked instead.

"Because she doesn't love me. Bella is in love with a fictional character she created for herself. He might look like me, Alice. But I'm not him"

"You are him, Edward" I was losing my patience. "You are just looking at it the wrong way".

He got his face out of his hands to look at me. He stared at me as if I was an annoying mosquito.

"Bella didn't create him out of her imagination, Edward. She made him after you. She made him so he would look like you. The only thing she did was give him a different name and a rather…well…vampire style" I said. I truly hoped he would understand.

Edward looked at me for the longest time and then just added: "That's impossible". That did it. I completely lost my temper.

"Fuck Edward!" He looked at me bewildered. I had never yelled at him before. "Are you hearing the crap you are telling?" His eyes were wide and lost. He wasn't expecting me to be this angry at him. At that moment I thought maybe it was right to show him how pissed I was. Maybe I could get him out of his daze, make him see.

"How can you still think something is impossible? Bella rescued you from the bottom of a pool and saved your life. You saved her life too, after you dreamed about her being in danger. You two had been all but hypnotized every time you see each other, even thought you claimed to have never met before! Are you fucking blind?" I could hardly breathe from my rage outburst. Edward just kept looking at me, not saying anything, still shocked from my reaction.

"Do yourself a favor and read the damn book" I finally said as I lifted myself from the floor. "And if by some chance you get your eyes open enough to see that that is actually you in those pages, maybe you will find the courage to go talk to her and give her a chance to tell you her story"

He looked at me and then the book on the floor; then back at me. I saw the doubt in his eyes.

"If you can't deal with the truth, then don't" I said. "But then know that you don't deserve her. She is way too much for you"

I turned around and started to leave, when something else came back to me.

"Oh, and just in case your ego could handle it, it's not just you in the book. If you look closely, you may see a lot of familiar people"

And with that last sentence I left. I knew my words had been hard and a little cruel. But I needed to get him out of his bubble, let him see there was another side of this story, without compromising Bella's secret.

I heard a loud noise and knew Edward had violently thrown the book against a wall.