With stomachs full of food, we headed to the bowling alley I had in mind. It was a lesser known place in town, meaning that it would be rather empty, especially at this hour.
I parked in the parking lot, noticing one other car. We got out.
Red looked at the building, examining the outside. She wasn't impressed.
"You girls ready for some fun?" I asked them.
"I am!" Celestia excitedly replied.
Red smiled. "This should be nice."
I led them inside. As we walked through the doors, we were immediately hit by the classic bowling alley smell.
Red was sniffing the air. "That's... a unique smell." she stated.
"They all smell like this." I said.
"I kinda like it."
As we walked in, to our left was a door to a separated bar area. Both Celestia and Red looked through the windows on the wall, but it was closed off and dark because of the time.
To the right, near the entrance, was a very small arcade, complete with a claw machine and a hunting game.
We walked into the main area.
"This place is pretty big." said Red, looking around.
One family was bowling in the end lane towards the snack area, which was the direction we turned to pay.
I went to the lady who was working the register. She asked us about the games and lanes we needed and the like.
"Hey, are we all gonna use one lane?" I asked the two of them.
"What's the difference?" asked Red.
"Nothing much, really. We'd bowl after another."
"I don't care." said Red.
"One lane is fine. How many games, though?"
"How long are we planning on staying?" asked Celestia.
"I dunno."
"Three games to start, then." she said, "We can get more if we want later, right?"
I nodded. "Yep. So, three games then." I said.
"Alright then. Shoe sizes?"
"Thirteen for me." I said. I turned to Celestia. "And you... Uh... What size are your shoes?"
"They don't say."
"Oh... Uh... Let's go with eleven. And Red... Same thing?"
She nodded.
"Uh... I don't know... Eight? Sure, let's go with that."
"Your shoes don't say your shoe sizes?" the lady asked.
Celestia shook her head. "The label on the tongues are blank."
"Huh... Well alright, men's thirteen, woman's eleven and eight." the lady said. She turned and retrieved the shoes for us. "If they don't fit, just tell me."
"Thank you." I said, taking my pair.
Celestia and Red both thanked her and did the same. We went to our assigned lane and began entering our names.
We agreed to let me go first because I was the only one who has bowled in the last hundred years. With their human bodies, they wouldn't know how to bowl correctly anyways.
I inputted our names, but the box only accepted five letters, so Celestia's name was shown as 'Celes', which Red laughed at.
"Alright ladies, shoes." I said to them.
"How do we know if they're too big?" asked Red, looking at her shoes.
"If you can't feel your toes at the end from the outside, they're too big." I said, "That's how I was taught."
We started putting on our shoes. As it turned out, Celestia's shoe size was more or less correct, but Red's was indeed too big. She returned to the lady to exchange shoes.
"We gotta pick a ball now." I said. I pointed at the places you could find them, which were a counter near us, and two areas along the wall along either end of the building.
Red was tying her shoes. Trying to tie them, at least.
"How do I... freaking do this?" she asked in frustration.
"Celestia, can you help her?"
"It's a bow knot." Celestia said to her.
"Oh. You know, usually I'd use my mouth to tie one of those." She chuckled.
After this revelation, she quickly tied it.
I walked to the nearby counter and examined the various bowling balls. Celestia walked to me.
"Which should I use?" she asked me.
"I wouldn't know, I'm not a very good bowler."
She chuckled. "Good thing I am." she said.
She reached in and picked one. She examined it for a number, but it was blank, as some of them are.
"Make sure your fingers fit." I said.
"Like this?" she asked, showing me how she did it.
"Yep, you got it."
"I was watching them." she said, gesturing at the other family.
I picked up a pink one that weighed eight pounds. "I like the lighter ones, but my fingers don't fit." I said, poking at it and showing her.
She smirked. I glared at her.
I shrugged, then went over and set it on the ball return.
"You're still using it?"
"I don't use the finger holes."
"Hmm? Why not?"
I shrugged again. "I don't like them."
I retrieved another ball at random. It was heavier and had big enough holes in it for me to demonstrate to them how to use them. Celestia was probably already comfortable with hers given that she had been examining the other family.
"How about me?" asked Red.
"I dunno. Just pick one."
She picked one seemingly at random.
"It's heavy." she said.
"Well, pick another one."
"No, I wanna use the heavy one."
"Oh. Well, alright then." I shrugged.
Celestia and Red placed their bowling balls onto the ball return as well. I picked up the second ball I had chosen and got into position.
We were far enough away from the family that it wasn't impolite if we bowled at the same time. I bowled correctly to show them how it was done. My first throw, I got eight pins, then got one more on my next throw.
"Something like that." I said.
Celestia smiled and approached the lane with her own ball. "Something like this..." she said.
I watched her as she threw it. She was confident and surprisingly graceful for someone who's doing something they've never done before. Alas, her first throw veered off to the side and rolled down the gutter.
"Aw..."
"This is just a practice game." I said, "In fact, all of the games are practice games. None of us are gonna do well."
Celestia threw the next ball and managed to knock all ten down at once.
She gave me a smug smile. "Is that so?" she asked me.
"Well... Celestia's gonna win this game." I said.
"It was only a spare, though." said Red.
Celestia shrugged. She smiled. "Your turn, Red."
Red walked up to the lane. She lined up her shot, then threw. Two gutter balls in a row.
She grumbled, turning around.
"Maybe we should've use bumpers." I said.
"I don't need your stinking handicap!" she said to me, aggressively pointing at me.
I shrugged, then walked up to take my turn. Once more, I demonstrated the proper way to throw the ball.
This time, I did not do as well. I got five pins and missed the second throw.
"Oh, maybe we should've used bumpers!" Red sarcastically said to me.
I looked to her. She snickered, then started to laugh.
"Red, stop picking on Phil." joked Celestia. She laughed as well.
"Your turn." I said to her.
"Right."
She walked up and threw her next ball. This time, her first throw connected with the pins. She knocked down seven. While she waited for her ball to return, she smiled at me. She got one more with her next throw.
"Doing great." I said to her.
She smiled again. "Your turn, Red."
"I'll try not to miss completely this time." she said.
She grabbed her ball and stood at the lane.
"Try taking a deep breath." said Celestia.
Red glanced back, then paused. She did as Celestia suggested. "Alright... I got this..."
She rolled the ball down the lane, this time knocking down four pins.
"I got some!" she excitedly let out, turning to us, a smile on her face.
"Good job, Red!" Celestia happily said. She was really proud of Red. "Let's see you do it again."
She quickly nodded, then grabbed her ball again.
"Remember, deep breath." said Celestia.
"Alright."
Red took in another breath to calm her nerves. She threw it again, knocking down five more.
"So close, Red!" said Celestia.
"I'll get them all next time." Red replied, confident.
This time, I bowled using the lighter ball. I didn't use the finger holes and just tossed it down the lane. It was more fun this way to me. My total was eight pins this time after the second throw.
"How long are we planning on staying?" asked Celestia.
"I dunno. Until we get bored. Or tired. They have food we can eat and drinks. Speaking of, what do you girls want to drink? They got pop. And water. And beer. You guys only know one kind of soda, so I think I can guess what you want."
"I'll have soda." said Red.
"Soda." said Celestia.
"That was easy."
I ordered us three large cups of Mountain Dew. When this place says large, they mean it. These were huge cups. I couldn't carry all three at once. Thankfully, the person manning the concession stand took the third and brought it with me.
I saw that people were starting to fill the place up. Another group of people were bowling a few lanes down.
I saw the results of Celestia's turn on the scoreboard. She got nine and a miss.
"Hey, you got close." I said to her.
"I'll get a strike soon enough." she said.
"My turn!"
Red bowled poorly this round. A three and a gutter ball. She grumbled again. "I'll do better next time."
"You're still learning." said Celestia.
"You're doing really well, though."
"What can I say? I guess I'm just lucky." She smiled smugly. "Your turn, Phil."
Our group kept up our bowling until the end of the game, cheering and high-fiving when we got a strike and groaning and encouraging ourselves when we missed. Celestia had a very proud look on her face when Red finally got a strike on her tenth frame. She was confused as to why she was allowed to go again, but didn't complain.
There was a clear winner from the start. Celestia got an impressive 193 while I had 87 and Red had 64. Celestia got a lot of strikes.
"Damn, Celestia." I said to her.
She smiled. "I could've gotten more. I just had to get a feel for..." She stopped, covering her mouth with a hand to stifle a sudden giggle fit.
I gave her a disappointed look for her dirty mind, which only seemed to make her giggle more.
"What's so funny?" asked Red.
We looked to her. Celestia looked to me. She burst out laughing, holding her stomach.
"Who's up for round two?" I asked, going to the input panel and starting the next game.
"Come on, what's so funny?"
"Oh, sweet, innocent Red." said Celestia.
"What'd I say?"
"Phil, what if we get hungry while we're here?" Celestia asked me, changing the subject.
"You can order food here. Nachos, hot dogs, burgers."
"Hot dogs and burgers are meat." she said. She was thinking it over, I saw it in her.
"There's a menu over there you can look at." I said, pointing towards it.
The food section of the building was connected to the sign in counter, but had stools at the counter leading around a corner to another area of the building with the bathrooms and locker rooms.
She looked over to the counter.
"Wait, are you hungry now?" I asked.
She smiled sheepishly.
"We just ate! Whatever. Here..." I got out my wallet and gave her my card. "Get yourself something. The hot dogs are really good, by the way. You know, if you wanted to try one."
"I'll be back." she said, taking my card.
"Oh, and get me some mini corn dogs." I said.
"Phil, we just ate." she joked.
I smiled at her.
I took my turn. Eight in total. Looking good. Celestia returned shortly to take her turn. She said they would call us when over the food was ready.
When we did get our food, I saw that Celestia had three things in her hands as she came back. She ordered nachos, one hot dog, and my mini corn dogs.
"And thank... you." I said, taking and eating one.
She eyed the plain hot dog she had ordered.
"What... is this?" she asked.
"It's pig." I said.
"I... I suppose I'm not used to seeing one so... small..."
"Oh, come on Princess, we're out in public!" complained Red.
"Look at this, Red!" she said, holding it up.
"Eww!" Red cringed at the sight of it.
"I know, it looks disgusting!" she cheerfully stated.
"If you won't eat it, I will." I said, taking it from the paper holder.
"No!" She immediately swiped it back from me. She looked at it again. "This isn't... what I think it is, right?"
"No, it's not a pig dick. It's basically just extra meat that's not used for other food."
"Extra meat? So it could include the penis?"
"I have absolutely no idea. Nobody really knows what goes into a hot dog."
"Can we just get back to bowling?" Red asked us, slightly annoyed, "It's your turn, Celestia."
"Oh, right. Sorry." She set her food down and took her turn. I stole a bite of her hot dog before she got back.
"Hey!"
"I didn't do it! It was a dog."
"Oh, so a dog did this?" she sarcastically asked.
"Yes, a dog. He just came up and took a bite. Oh hey, wow, look at that, it's my turn. I gotta go, see ya."
As I walked up to bowl, I heard, "Fine, if you're gonna eat mine, I'm gonna eat yours!"
"That's got meat in it!" I called back. I looked back. Too late.
"Huh? Oh... Oh, yes it does... This is really good..."
I shrugged, then turned back and took my turn.
"That has meat, too?" asked Red, looking at the food.
"The corn dogs are hot dogs surrounded by a layer of deep fried batter." I said.
"That sounds really unhealthy." she replied.
"Oh, yes."
"They're really good, though." said Celestia, having another.
"Hey, eat your own food!"
"Oh, right."
"Take your turn." said Red.
"Oh, right." She laughed.
She walked up and did as Red said, then walked back. She picked up the hot dog and examined it again. She took a bite of it. She let out a surprised, "Hmm!"
"Good?"
She nodded. She took another bite. It wasn't a very big hot dog, so it was gone in a flash.
"Can I get another?" she asked.
"Don't waste your nachos."
"Red can have them."
"I'm not hungry." she said.
"Oh..."
Celestia started on the nachos, which she seemed to enjoy. She really liked the cheese. I ate another of my own food before taking my turn.
"How much were those hot dogs, anyways?" I asked.
"I believe she said they were a quarter, right now."
"A quarter? Holy crap, I forgot about that. This place is awesome like that. They got cheap hot dogs sometimes. Yeah, order as many as you want. You still have my card."
"That's right, sorry."
This place had a special for 25 cent hot dogs one day of the week. I guess that day was Sunday.
"My turn." I said, walking up.
Celestia ordered more hot dogs before the end of the game. I finished my own food as well. We still had our drinks. Red took a few of Celestia's nachos.
Celestia and Red's scores went up this game. Mine went down. I'm not a very good bowler. Red almost passed me.
"Think you can get a perfect game?" I asked Celestia.
"No, no, absolutely not."
"Just cheat." said Red, "Use your magic."
"You've been cheating?" Celestia asked, surprised.
"No, of course not. But I could."
"No cheating, Red." I said to her.
"I know, I know."
I went up and started our next game.
"Hey Phil, is this a good look for me?" asked Celestia.
I looked back at her. She had put a bowling ball underneath her shirt, making it look like she was pregnant.
I smile warmly at her. "You look beautiful." I said.
She smiled back.
"C'mon guys, no lovey-dovey stuff around me. I deal with that enough at home."
Celestia took the ball out of her shirt and apologized.
"Besides, it already looks like you have two bowling balls in your shirt, anyways."
Celestia laughed. "Jealous?"
"Envious." I offhandedly corrected.
"How can I be jealous?! I don't even know what these things are!"
"They're for nursing children." I said.
"Among other things." said Celestia.
"Oh... Well, ok."
"Most humans agree that bigger boobs are more attractive." I said.
"What, so just 'cause mine are smaller, I'm less attractive?"
"Well..." I paused. "I'm more attracted to Celestia than I am to you."
"It's not all bad, Red. Your chest is still above average." said Celestia, "That's what Phil told me."
Red covered her chest with her arms and turned away. "Stop looking at my chest!"
"Way to throw me under the bus there, Celestia." I said to her, "Alright you two, let's get back to the game."
The three of us played our third game. We were all having a lot of fun. Celestia was enjoying herself, Red was enjoying herself, and I was enjoying myself.
Once more, Celestia and Red's score went up. Mind did as well, this time. Celestia had 238, I had 114, and Red had 102.
Celestia had a pretty long string of strikes, which surprised even her.
"That was the three we paid for." I said, "Do you wanna play some more?"
"Yeah, this is fun." said Red.
"I'd like to play a few more games." said Celestia.
"Alright. I'll talk at the lady. Three more?"
"Sounds good." said Celestia.
We stayed at that bowling alley for four hours. Four hours of bowling. It was borderline exhausting. It was fun, probably the most fun I've had in months, but it was tiring. Celestia had won every game we played, without fail.
It was around four right now. Midday. We were trading in our shoes and preparing to leave. Celestia had stricken up a friendly conversation with the cashier.
Red wandered towards the exit. I followed her.
"Hey, a claw machine." she said, walking into the small arcade room. It wasn't even a room, really. It was more of a pocket in the wall with a game or two.
"See anything you like?" I asked, watching her as she examine the contents.
"Not really."
All the machine contained was rubber balls with air in them. Not very exciting.
"Think they'll notice if I just took one?" she asked.
"At least pay for it." I said, giving her a dollar for the machine.
She put it in. She made very sloppy movements with the claw and dropped it without aiming it. It didn't close as it went up.
"These machines cheat, so I'm gonna cheat, too." she said, starting the second play the dollar gave her.
I didn't care. She was right, the machine did cheat.
This time, I saw a ball rise with the claw, even though it wasn't closed around it.
"There's no aura around it." I noticed.
"Cool technique, huh?"
"Yeah, it is."
She retrieved the ball she had 'won' and tossed it between her hands.
"No doing that in the car." I said.
"Yeah, yeah..."
Celestia walked over to us and looked at Red.
"Where did you get that?" she asked.
Red gestured to the machine behind us.
"I want one."
I sighed, then got out my wallet again. "You know, we always played with these on our way out." I said, giving her some money, "Me and my brother and sister. We all played around in here just before we left."
Celestia started the machine up. She dropped the claw right onto a ball, but it didn't close.
"What?! It was right on it!"
"They all do that, Princess. All of them, even in Equestria. That's why I just cheated."
"You cheated?"
"I picked one out with magic."
"Well, I'm going to get one without magic." she smugly replied.
"See, that's how they get you, Princess. They're set to only let you win every so often so if you play until you win, you're playing right into the machine's greedy claw."
"Red, be nice." I said to her, "I'll go pull the car up."
I gave Celestia enough for a few more plays and walked outside to get the car. I brought it up to the curb next to the door. They both walked out. Celestia was proudly holding a ball of her own in her hands.
"Hey, you did it!" I happily said to her.
She let out a small laugh. "I told you I'd do it without cheating, Red."
"Yeah, yeah..."
"Hey girls, how do you feel about the weather?" I asked them.
"It's alright." said Red.
"It's nice." said Celestia, "Why do you ask?"
"I wanted to do something else, but it's an outdoor thing. I was just wondering if you'd be fine with it given the temperature outside."
I started us down the road.
"It's rather comfortable, actually. A little brisk, but otherwise very comfortable."
"Yeah, I like it." said Red.
"You've planned out the whole day for us, haven't you?" Celestia asked, smiling at me.
"Well, I might have planned a bit... Or... I might have planned out the entire day. Let's see how it goes."
"So what are we doing?" asked Red.
"Mini-golf!"
"That sounds like fun!" Celestia happily let out.
"I'm up for some mini-golf." said Red.
"So Red, have you played mini-golf at home?" I asked her.
"This time, I can say that I have." she replied.
"Good, good. That'll save about a minute of explaining."
"A minute? Yeah, I guess it's a pretty simple game."
"Hit this ball into that hole with this club from there." I said, jokingly explaining the rules, "Don't hit it while it's moving and don't get in the way. Lowest strokes wins. How'd I do?"
"Yeah, that's accurate."
"It didn't even take a minute." said Celestia.
"Alright, bit of a journey to get there." I said, "It's on the other side of town, like in the opposite direction."
"How long is it gonna take?" asked Red.
"I dunno. Fifteen, twenty minutes, maybe. Or more. Or less, I'm not good with distances and time."
"It won't be long, Red." said Celestia.
"Is it uncomfortable to sit behind us?" I asked, "Do you have enough room?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine."
"Alright, good."
I took the three of us to a mini-golf course just north of town towards my grandmother's house.
It was located on a freeway, across from a small airport. I think it was a private airport, I don't know. It only had smaller planes, there were no passenger or cargo jets. Both Celestia and Red were very curious about it. Neither of them have seen a plane before.
I pulled into the small parking lot and we got out. There were some other cars here, but from the looks of it, the mini-golf course was empty.
"What a cozy little golf course..." Celestia let out, looking over the course as we went to the rental building.
"I guess that's one way to describe it."
I paid for our three games, one for each of us. We were given putters by the man in the building. There were different colors of golf balls in a holder on the counter, as well as pencils and score sheets.
"Are we keeping score?" I asked them.
"Of course we are." said Red, picking up a score sheet.
"Alright, pick a ball color." I said.
I picked green. Celestia picked pink and Red picked... red.
"Very imaginative." I said to her.
"It's my favorite color."
"That so? Could've sworn it was blue."
"I picked pink because I think it's cute." said Celestia, holding her golf ball up for us to see.
We both looked at her. She had a goofy smile on her face. Red laughed. I smiled back at her.
"You're like a six year old." I said to her.
"I'm six and a half!"
Red laughed harder.
"Well... Anyways... Ladies first." I said, gesturing towards the first hole that was behind us.
"You're not going to teach us?" asked Celestia.
"Want me to?"
"I think we can figure it out." said Red, stepping forward.
Hole one was a simple hole with a decorative donkey standing above the hole. It was a straight shot to the hole, but there was a small ramp upwards, so a little force was needed.
Red placed her ball on the starting pad and attempted to aim her putter. She was struggling. Neither of them would know how to hold their putters.
"Like this." I said, showing them how to hold it properly.
"I don't need your help!" she quickly snapped back.
"Yes you do, Red." said Celestia.
She looked at me, then adjusted her grip. She lined up the shot, then hit the ball.
It went up the ramp, but it seems she hit it too hard, as it bounced back off the far wall and rolled right back.
"Mulligan." I jokingly said.
Celestia smirked.
"Huh?" asked Red.
"Try again." I said.
She nodded, then lined up her next shot. It got up the hill and managed to stay there, close to the hole.
"Good job, Red." said Celestia.
"Good job." I said.
"My turn!" said Celestia, placing her ball down.
This is going to be interesting...
She hit the ball. It made it up the hill and almost went in, but rounded the edge of the hole and rolled away.
"Oh, too much." she said, disappointed.
I patted her back. "You got close."
"Yeah, you did good, Princess."
"Thank you."
I hit mine next. Disappointingly, it didn't even make it up the hill.
"Oh, come on! I'm doing that over."
"No, you have to play it where it lies." said Red.
"You got to do it over!"
"I've never done this before!"
I smiled. "Whatever. Your turn."
She walked to her ball and gave it a tap. It went in.
"Alright, two." she said, "What's the par?"
"Who cares?" I said.
"I do. Oh, it says on the paper. Sure are a lot of threes on this thing."
"It doesn't matter what the par is." I said, "You're gonna be hitting the same number of strokes regardless."
"The par in golf is used to award a higher score on larger or more difficult holes." said Celestia, "Say, if a hole is par five and you sink the ball in three, your score is negative two, but if the par was three, your score is zero."
"Huh..." I shrugged, "I guess."
"Golf is weird." said Red. She reached down and retrieved her ball from the hole. "Your turn, Princess."
Celestia nodded. She took her shot, managing to sink it. She smiled, then picked up her ball.
I hit it up the hill on my next shot, then sunk it with my third.
"Looks like you're lagging behind a bit." said Red.
"It's the first hole!"
"Oh, look at the second hole." said Celestia.
Red examined the next threat.
"This one is notorious in my family." I said, "We all hate it."
"What's wrong with it? It doesn't look too hard."
Celestia chuckled.
Hole two seemed simple enough, but it was a lie. There was a longer straightaway that led into a hill. On top of the hill was a crater that had the hole in the center. It you got in the crater, you were good. If you overshot it, the ball would roll down the other side of the hill. After it rolls down the other side, your spirit breaks, and you keep hitting it between sides until you give up. I'm joking, of course. It's was just a little frustrating at times.
"Well, I'll go first." said Red.
She set her ball down and hit it. As I thought, she hit it past the hole and down the other side.
"Oh, that's not good." she said.
Celestia went next.
"I don't want to hit it down the other side." she said, examining the hole again.
When she was satisfied, she got into position. She took her time to line up her shot, then hit the ball.
To our collective amusement, Celestia got today's first hole-in-one. Red and I cheered for her. She had a pleased look on her face.
I waited for Celestia to collect her ball before hitting mine. Just like Red, I missed the hole and ended up on the other side.
"Curses." I said, walking towards it.
Red took her shot, which ended up just rolling her ball down the other side. This time, there was no wall, so it just kept rolling.
"No! Stop, stop, stop!" Red cried out, running after it.
Celestia laughed at her.
I hit my ball next and managed to get it on the hill, but the ball got caught on the edge of the worn out hole and stopped before going in.
"Dang it." I said, pushing it in with the edge of my club.
"Hey, it was my turn!" said Red.
"Put me down for three." I said.
"Take a deep breath, Red." Celestia suggested, "You don't need to hit it as hard as before."
"Yeah, yeah..."
Red paused and took in a breath like Celestia said. She aimed her putter, then hit the ball.
It made it up the hill, stopping before the crater. She hit the ball again, sinking it.
"Mmm... Looks like someone's lagging behind." said Celestia, a certain sarcastic tone in her voice.
"It's the second hole!" she replied.
"We're both behind." I said to her.
"Yeah, yeah..."
The third hole was a straight shot to the hole, but aiming off to the side would land it in a bunker or make it hit an obstacle. Thankfully, all three of us were able to get it past the obstacle and sink it in two strokes.
Hole four was the first unique hole. We hit the ball up a steep angle into a wooden building, where the ball rolled through a pipe and went through a flower garden and out the other side, rolling onto a rather large flat square of green with the hole on it.
"Oh, this hole looks pretty fun." said Red.
I nudged Celestia with my elbow. "Bet you hear that a lot." I whispered to her.
She hesitated, then laughed. "Phil, that's dirty!"
Red looked to us. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing." I said.
"Is that why you chose mini-golf?" Celestia asked me.
"I mean... not at first. Look around you, though. You're surrounded by balls and holes... This must be a party for you."
She laughed again. Red snickered.
"Oh, you heard that?" I asked her.
She let out a laugh of her own. "That's such an offensive thing to say about your girlfriend."
"Fiancée." corrected Celestia.
"Oh, right. You two are weird."
"You're first, Red." said Celestia.
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
She set her ball down and took her shot. It hit hard against the outside edge of the building and bounced over the brick walls and off the side of the course.
"Ah! No!" She rushed to retrieve her ball. She placed her hand on the building and poked at the bushes the ball had fallen in with the putter.
Celestia laughed at her.
Red turned back to her. "Stop laughing!"
"Do you need help finding it, oh crafty master thief?" asked Celestia.
"No, I'm fine... Where is it, where is it, where is it..." she muttered to herself.
"I suppose I'll take my turn, then." said Celestia, chuckling at Red's misfortune.
Celestia's shot was aimed much better than Red's. She got it into the building. Celestia and I followed the pipe and watched it roll out, ending up near the hole.
"Good shot." I said.
"Found it!" said Red, reaching down to grab it.
Celestia lightly struck my arm. "Stop looking at her when she bends over." she said. She smirked at me.
I sighed at her. "My turn." I said, walking forward.
I hit it into the building same as Celestia. Easy. It rolled out and neared the same position that Celestia's ball was in.
"Red." I said to her.
"Yep."
She placed her ball back down and hit it correctly this time.
I struck Celestia's arm the same way she struck mine. "Watch the eyes, Celestia."
"I can't. It's so cute." she replied.
"Yeah, I guess you're right about that."
"Quit looking at my butt!" Red yelled at us, turning to us, "Bunch of perverts. I expect this kind of thing from Phil, but not from you, Princess."
Celestia had an embarrassed look on her face. I just laughed.
"Sorry, Red." I said.
"Yes... sorry."
I didn't know if Red was actually mad at us. She seemed like it, but we all joke around a lot, so I really had no idea.
The three of us moved to the other side of the pipe where our balls were. Celestia and Red managed to hit theirs in. I missed the first and sunk it on the second.
"Whoa, is this the next one? I like this one." said Red.
This hole was rather unique. It had a steep ramp that had a triangle cut in it that dropped down to the left, and if you hit it too hard, it hit the wall on the back and went to the right. The wall had a polar bear on it. There was also a polar bear statue to the left. It was cute. Left was the direction the hole was. If you went right, you had to hit it underneath the ramp.
Celestia and Red examined the ramp. They walked around it to calculate the best way of hitting the ball.
"This one's pretty weird." said Red, walking back to the starting zone.
She placed her ball down and lined up her shot. She pulled the putter back quite a bit and swung. The ball hit hard against the back wall and landed in the grass next to the brick wall.
"Darn it." she said, walking to it.
"Red, calm down." said Celestia, "It's not a matter of brute strength."
As if demonstrating her point for Red, Celestia's shot managed to make it through the triangle and land on the left side.
"Good job, Celestia." I said to her.
"Thank you."
"How did you do that?" asked Red.
"I've done this before, Red. I'm skilled when it comes to games such as these."
"She's really good at pool, too." I said.
"Ah yes, I remember that night."
"I don't." I said.
Celestia laughed.
"What's so funny?" asked Red.
"It's an inside joke." I said.
"It happened before you arrived in this world."
I hit my ball next. It hit the back wall, but instead of rolling to the right, it bounced off to the left, jumping over the wall and landing closer to the hole than Celestia's ball.
"Wh... You cheater!" Red let out, pointing at me.
"Interesting shot." said Celestia.
"He cheated!" repeated Red.
"It didn't land out of bounds, so technically, he didn't cheat." said Celestia.
Red grumbled.
"Your turn, Red." said Celestia.
"Quit missing, Red." I said to her.
"Meh meh-meh, meh..." she retorted, mocking me. She smiled.
Red hit the ball again. It hit the wall and rolled off to the right.
Celestia hit her ball in. I did the same. Red hit hers underneath the ramp to the left and sunk it with the next shot.
"At least this one looks simple." said Red.
Hole six had a simple corner we had to hit around. The corner was replaced with a 45 degree angled wall so hitting it directly on the corner was the best strategy.
Red managed to hit the corner. It rolled towards the hole. Celestia, impressively, managed to get a hole in one.
"Yay!" she let out, jumping in excitement.
I gave her a congratulatory hug and bottom squeeze. Red, albeit somewhat disgusted by my show of affection, congratulated her as well.
I took my turn, hitting it around the corner. My ball rolled towards Red's, then hit it away. That is correct, the balls have indeed touched. It is now gay.
"Oh, come on! I was close!" she let out, angrily marching over to take her shot.
"It was in the way." I said to her.
"You're in the way!"
Both Red and I managed to sink it with our next shots.
The next hole had a straightaway with an alligator/crocodile statue blocking the way to a large square with the hole. A simple hole. Celestia and Red got two, I got three.
Hole eight was a little interesting. We had to hit it up and around the brick wall so it rolled back to the area with the hole. It was angled upwards so it would roll back easily. I rather liked this hole. The statue for this hole was that of a sea serpent moving in and out of water and the color of the turf was blue to represent said water.
Celestia banked her shot perfectly, getting close to the hole on the other side. Red tried to do the same, but it just rolled back. She managed to get it around the second time, though. Me, I liked taking a different approach. I set my ball down and bent over, holding my putter right against it, aiming it so I could launch it over the wall and directly towards the hole.
"Phil, stop cheating!" Red let out.
Celestia laughed before I had even taken my shot.
I hit it. The ball merely bounced off the wall and ended up in the grass behind me. I quickly picked it up and redid my shot, this time making it over the wall.
"I'm still counting that as two." said Red, irritated that it had worked.
"I would've never thought of that." said Celestia, subsequently sinking her shot.
"Yeah, that's 'cause you're smart." I replied.
Red snickered.
Both Red and I took two swings to sink our balls. I was disappointed because it was really close before and I didn't hit it hard enough so I had to hit again. Celestia was close enough to only need one swing.
Hole nine had the classic windmill. Celestia seemed rather happy to see be able to play on a windmill hole. It also had two small statues bent over and kissing over the hole. It was rather cute, actually.
Red and Celestia hit their balls through the windmill. I actually hit one of the spinning blades, so it stopped before it got in.
"Dang it." I said, walking over to hit it again.
Celestia got two. Red and I got three.
"Alright, we're halfway through." I said.
"The other side looks like it'll be more fun." said Celestia.
"Hear that a lot, Princess?" asked Red. She snickered
"Wh... Red! My goodness..."
I laughed.
This mini-golf course was split into two with the building where we made our purchases in the center. There was also a resting area underneath an awning connected to the building.
"You girls want anything to drink before we continue?" I asked.
"I could use something." said Celestia, "What do they have?"
"Water and pop." I said, "Probably sports drinks and flavored water, too."
"Soda? I'll have a Mountain Dew." she said.
"Red? Anything?"
"Er... Yeah. What she said."
"Okie dokie, be right back."
I went to the building and ordered two sodas for our group. I didn't want a whole bottle. If I got thirsty, I'd just steal it from Celestia.
Celestia and Red were sitting at one of the tables of the rest area. They both looked rather pretty resting like this. I think it was the hair...
Holding the bottles in one hand, I got out my phone and aimed it at them.
"Say cheese, you two." I let out.
They turned to me. Celestia gladly smiled for the camera. Red just seemed surprised.
I brought their drinks to them and sat down at the table with them.
"How did it turn out?" asked Celestia.
I showed her the picture I had just snapped. Red looked over at it as I showed her.
"Why'd you take a picture of us?" asked Red, taking a bottle.
"'Cause you're cute." I said.
Celestia nodded. "You're very cute, Red."
I think we made her blush. She hid her face behind her bottle.
"What do you have planned for us after we finish here?" asked Celestia, opening her bottle.
"Mmm... There's a driving range out back. Other than that, dinner.
"I like dinner." said Celestia, "Are we eating out?"
I winked at her. She bashfully hid a smile.
"Yep. A nice place with some good food. All you can hope for, really. Driving range would be way too exhausting." I said, "I just thought I'd mention it."
"We could try it another day." said Celestia.
"Seems like you'd have a lot more fun just together than you're having with me here." said Red.
Celestia looked to her, a curious look on her face.
"I've seen those looks you've been giving each other. I'm getting in the way, aren't I?"
"Oh, Red..." Celestia sympathetically let out, "Of course you are."
"Oh... Well thanks, Princess. Means a lot."
"But it's much more fun with you around." said Celestia, "If it were just us, we wouldn't be having as much fun."
"Really?" she asked.
"Of course not." Celestia replied, keeping her positive tone, "Besides Red, you deserve a little something fun for the help you gave us with Queen Chrysalis."
"I... I'm already getting my reward for that." she said.
"Yes, you are. That's not what I meant. You're our friend, Red."
Red seemed a little surprised. "I... I guess so..." she let out.
"Would you rather be at the house right now?"
"I... I guess not, no. Alright, you're right."
Celestia gave her a smile. "We're having fun together. I've been enjoying your banter." she chuckled.
"Banter? She just repeats what we say back to us." I said.
"You repeat what I say!" retorted Red.
Celestia laughed. Red had a grin on her face.
"Ready to keep going?" I asked them.
"I'm ready." said Red.
Celestia got out of her chair and smiled. "Nine more holes to go."
The three of us walked to the tenth hole.
"Is this it?" asked Red as we walked over a bridge over another hole.
"Nope, this is eighteen." I said, "They got a box that collects the balls over there." I said, pointing to it.
"There are wedges here." Celestia curiously let out, approaching hole ten.
"Yep." I said, resting my putter against the holder and taking a wedge.
"Oh! They're used to hit it over the wall, it seems." she said, taking one.
This hole had a rubber tee to place the ball onto with a brick wall blocking the path to the hole. We had to hit the ball over the wall to sink them.
"See, I wasn't cheating." I said to Red.
"Yeah, you were."
I shrugged. "Got me there."
Red set her ball down and picked up a wedge. She paused, then set it back down and picked up a different one. Why did she... oh wait a minute...
"Red, you're left handed!" I let out in surprise. She had grabbed a left handed club. She's been putting from the other side this whole time.
She looked up at me. "Yeah."
"I just... I didn't... Neat. I don't know a lot of people who are left handed."
"Surprise, surprise, neither do I." she said to me.
"Right... hooves..."
Celestia let out a small chuckle. "I didn't understand that, at first." she let out.
Red hit the ball, then let out a gasp as it rolled into the hole.
"You did it, Red!"
"Yes, I got one!"
"Good job, Red."
Celestia took her turn. To our surprise, the ball bounced off the wall and rolled back past the starting position.
"Ah! Oh no..." she let out, going to retrieve it.
While she was gone, I took my turn, hitting it over the wall.
Red was still beaming because of her hole in one.
"You took your turn before me." said Celestia.
I shrugged. "You gotta play better." I joked.
"Oh, is that so?" she asked. She had a mischievous look on her face.
She set her ball down and took her time aiming her shot. She hit the ball harder than either of us had. It flew past the hole and soared over the brick wall at the end. With a clunk against the protective wall near the parking lot, it bounced back, landing back on the turf and hitting my ball, moving it quite a distance away.
"Holy crap!" exclaimed Red.
I just stood there in shock.
Celestia let out a laugh. "Perhaps you should play better." she said to me, smirking.
"Well then..." I let out, still surprised.
"That was so cool!" Red excitedly let out.
Celestia gave her a smile. "Thank you, Red."
I stepped forward and took a shot, getting it closer to the hole. Celestia sunk her ball. I did the same after.
We set our wedges back and retrieved our putters, then went to the next hole.
This hole had a straightaway that led to a wide ramp on the right. A purple tiger statue rested near the hole, making it so that we could only hit towards it from one direction. A surprisingly complicated hole, really.
Celestia and Red sunk it in three swings. Annoyingly, I got five.
"I like the next one." I said, walking to it.
This hole had a very long straightaway with obstacles that narrowed it in the middle. The straightaway led into a square.
Red took her turn first. Since it was so long to the hole, you want to put a bit more power into the swing, but as Red is demonstrating, that also means it's more likely to hit the obstacles.
Her ball bounced high into the air and landed in the grass a distance away.
"What? Come on!" she let out, walking to retrieve it.
Celestia, of course, managed to hit it all the way to the end. It even made it to the hole, but it bounced off the edge and rolled away.
"Oh... That was close." said Celestia.
"Yep. Good work."
I took my turn next, but only managed to imitate Red's shot. Red hit the ball again, but failed to get past once more. It rolled right back. She grumbled. Celestia sunk her shot and retrieved the ball from the hole, then stepped aside. I hit my ball next. I failed again. It bounced out once more. I went to go get it.
Celestia giggled. "Maybe you should hit it softer." she suggested.
"Never!" Red called, failing once more.
Red and I failed for a while.
Celestia once again suggested hitting the ball softer.
"Daga kotowaru!" I angrily replied, swinging and failing again. (Translator's note: Daga Kotowaru means I refuse)
"Why is this so hard?" Red let out, missing again.
Celestia caught the ball that jumped out and tossed it back to us. I took my turn. I missed.
Red hit her ball. It bounced out towards Celestia, who let out a yelp. The ball landed back inside the bricks.
"Ah! I'm sorry, Princess!" Red let out, rushing over to her, "Are you alright?"
Celestia was rubbing her arm. "I'm fine, I'm fine." She couldn't stop herself from letting out a laugh.
"You got the bank shot off Celestia." I said.
Celestia was smiling.
"Alright, we've had a casualty." I let out, "Enough messing around."
I hit the ball softer this time, like Celestia suggested. It still hit the bricks, but it didn't bounce out.
"It... made it back in." said Red, "Does it count?"
"Play it where it lies." I said.
"It counts." said Celestia, a laugh in her voice, "Try not to hit it out again."
"Sorry, Celestia."
"She's trying to take you out so she can make her escape." I said.
"No I'm not!"
"We made a mistake in giving her a weapon." I said.
"I'll show you a weapon!" she yelled, threateningly brandishing her putter.
"Red, please do not threaten my fiancé." said Celestia.
"Yeah, yeah..."
Red took her shot. I went next. We sunk it on our next swings.
"How many was that, like 33?" I asked.
"Seven each." Red begrudgingly let out, writing on her sheet.
"You swung more than seven times each." said Celestia.
"I know."
"Oh..."
"Alright, next hole!" I said, clapping my hands together.
Hole thirteen had an upwards slope with a block of wood on the top. A pipe led down and forward directly towards the hole in front of the piece of wood. Otherwise you would get down on either side of the block and roll past the hole.
Red and I missed the pipe. Celestia made it, but it didn't roll into the hole, which disappointed all of us.
Celestia got two swings. Red and I got three.
"Why do you have to be so good at this?" Red asked Celestia.
"I'm not that good."
"You bounced your ball off a wall and hit mine away." I said to her.
"Oh, right. I used magic."
"No you didn't." said Red.
"I did."
"Admit it, you're better than us." I said.
"I'm not better."
"You're more than ten points ahead of us." said Red.
"We're not exactly the best either, so that could mean anything." I said.
"I guess. Well, I got that hole in one."
"Celestia got two."
"And you've gotten zero." said Celestia. She was smiling at me.
"Gee... Thanks Celestia."
"Ah! No, that's not what I... I'm sorry..."
"Oh, come here." I said, suddenly wrapping my arms around her.
She giggled at me as I hugged her.
Red was looking at us. It almost seemed like she wanted to let out her signature groan of disgust, but she kept quiet. When I let go of Celestia, Red spoke up.
"You two have a cute relationship." she said to us.
"Thank you, Red." said Celestia, "That's nice of you to say."
"Let's keep going." I said, noticing that Red was embarrassed. I didn't care if my affection for my fiancée embarrassed Red, I was still gonna hug her. Maybe a little less bottom grabbing, though.
Hole fourteen. A simple hole. We hit the ball around a corner into a large square with a small turtle statue as a decoration. Celestia got two. Red and I got three. We weren't as good as her, alright?
"Ahh... The clown hole. And no, I'm not talking about you, Celestia."
"Phil!"
Red laughed.
Hole fifteen had an angled starting position that had us aim our shots through a clown's mouth on a board of wood. The starting pad, the black pad with three holes in it to place our balls onto, had a center hole that was worn out from the years of abuse. There were many, many circles on the clown board from where golf balls had struck it. My family was fond of using the phrase, 'You're gonna die, clown!'
"Good luck." I said to Red.
She set the ball down and aimed her shot. She swung. It went right through the clown's mouth, rolling all the way down the turf until...
"Yes! Another one!" Red cried out, jumping up as she celebrated her second hole in one.
"Very good, Red." said Celestia.
"Good shot."
She happily bounced over to the hole and retrieved her ball.
Celestia took her turn next. Her ball bounced back off the clown's face.
"Oh! I thought I had that." she said.
"My turn." I said.
I swung. I missed.
Celestia took her turn again, this time realigning herself and successfully getting the golf ball to the other side.
I swung again, but hit the clown again.
Celestia sunk her ball.
"Alright, I got this." I said.
I swung. The ball finally moved past the clown and towards the hole. I sunk it on the next putt.
"Getting close to the end." I said.
"This one is a bit strange." said Celestia, examining the next hole.
This hole had a slope upwards that led to two holes. These holes were pipes that led to the real hole down below to the left.
I think this one tricked you. The closer pipe to the hole actually led away from it, and the further pipe led closer. I didn't know for sure, but I decided not to tell them, anyways. It would be funny to see Red's reaction.
Red hit her ball, getting it up the slope. Celestia also got her ball up the slope, narrowly missing the first hole. I hit mine up as well.
As I thought, Red went for the closer pipe, and as I thought, it led away from the hole.
"What? Oh come on!" She gave off her special groan.
Celestia laughed. "If that pipe leads there, then this pipe must lead closer to the hole." she said, aiming backwards.
Both Celestia and I hit our balls into the first pipe. We ended up close to the hole when it came out.
Red hit her ball closer to ours. Celestia sunk her ball. I missed. Red and I got it in on our next turn.
"Two more." I said.
"This one looks interesting." said Celestia.
"Yeah it does. It looks pretty cool. Think I can get it to work?" asked Red.
"I'd like to see it."
Hole seventeen had an interesting path. Hitting the ball straight forward will cause it to roll against a horizontal loop on the ground and change the direction, outputting it to the right of where it entered.
Red hit her ball. It entered the loop and followed it all the way around, rolling out to the right towards the hole.
"Whoa... That was cool." she said, walking over to her ball.
Celestia did the same thing with her shot.
"Very satisfying..." she let out.
I made this hole three for three and rounded the loop right after them.
"I love this hole." I said. And no, I wasn't referring to my fiancée.
Red missed. Celestia got it. I missed. Red got it. I missed. I got it.
I picked up my ball, then walked back to the loop. I threw it against the loop, watching it roll out the other side of it. I let out a little chuckle.
Red did the same as I did.
"This one is fun." she said.
"Yeah..."
"Last one. Then we can go get dinner." said Celestia, approaching hole eighteen.
"Are you really hungry again?" I asked her.
"Of course I am!"
"What about you, Red? I know Celestia was pigging out at the bowling alley, but are you hungry?"
"I could eat."
"Alright."
Hole number eighteen had a long straightaway leading to a slope upwards. At the top of the slope was a square with the hole in the center. The hole led to a box to collect the balls. This was it.
Red and Celestia hit their balls onto the square. When my turn came, I aimed my shot, then swung.
"Whoa, hey... did that go in?" I asked, walking to the square. There was a staircase to get up top to where the balls where and a colorful railing surrounding the box so you wouldn't fall.
"I don't see it." said Celestia.
"You finally got one!" Red excitedly let out.
"Yeah, hole in one!" I let out.
Celestia gave me a wide smile. "Good job, Phil."
"Sweet..." I happily let out.
Celestia and Red took their turns. They both finished in two swings total.
"How'd we do, Red?" I asked her.
"Hold on, let me..."
She slowly walked back to the resting area, calculating our scores.
"Phil, you were two over par. I was three under... And Celestia... You got an incredible eighteen under par."
"Damn Celestia, leave some points for us." I said to her.
Celestia was smiling widely. "I didn't try to win that much, I swear."
"Of course you didn't." I said to her.
"I didn't!"
"I think she's telling the truth." said Red, "You saw what she did on hole ten."
"Yeah... Yeah... And you didn't use any magic?"
"None at all."
"Geez, Celestia."
"Imagine if she put in that much effort for the rest of the holes..." said Red.
"Yeah... Alright, are we ready?"
"I'm ready." said Red.
Celestia nodded.
"Let's give our putters back and take off." I said.
The three of us went to the window to return them. As we did, the man inside said, "Did I hear you correctly? Did you get a hole in one on the last hole?"
"Yes I did." I said, smiling.
"Hold on..." He grabbed something from under the counter and held it out to me. It was a small piece of paper. "Here." he said.
I took it and read it over.
"Getting a hole in one on the last hole means you get a free game the next time you come back."
"Oh... Well thank you..."
"Of course. I'm glad you've enjoyed yourselves today. Goodbye. We hope to see you soon."
"Goodbye." I said, smiling again.
Celestia and Red gave him a polite goodbye as we left.
I pocketed the ticket. "Well, that was a pleasant surprise." I said.
"I'd like to come back one of these days." said Celestia.
"Yeah, same here." I said.
"I can't wait to show you the mini-golf courses we have in Equestria." said Celestia, "Perhaps we could invite Red again."
"That sounds fun." I said.
