APOV

I felt like a complete tourist.

Collin was driving extremely slowly to his house and I was staring out the window like I'd never been in La Push before.

Collin laughed, pulling me away from the window.

"Don't look out like that; it makes you look foreign,"

I frowned.

"I am foreign,"

"You wish, you're one of us now," My eyes widened. When had that happened?

Collin smiled and I had to wonder what he was thinking now.

Since I was no longer allowed to stick my face to the window, I decided I would use my time wisely and take in Collin's face as much as I could.

"What are you staring at," Collin raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, well, since we're gonna be with James and your mom all day I thought..." my voice trailed off.

Collin snickered.

"Hey, no worries, mom is at Sue's all day and James' in Port Angeles," I bit my lip. That meant Collin and I would be alone in the house, far from any neighbors...

"What's wrong," I didn't answer, "It's okay, we'll be there soon," The needle of the speedometer began rapidly moving to the right.

Oh great, the faster we got there, the longer we would be alone.

Just as Collin promised, we did get there soon. By soon I mean two minutes soon. He tore up the roads so I wouldn't panic, naturally that made me panic more.

"We're here," I didn't move. In fact my nails dug deeper into the seat.

Collin got out anyway.

I knew he would leave me in the car; Collin was that kind of person, so I got out and shuffled my way to the door.

It was open and waiting, it did look inviting.

"I'll go get your stuff," Collin whispered appearing out of no where behind me.

I nodded even though I was sure he was gone already.

"Oh, come on Alexys, move! You're acting like you've never been here before," I looked up surprised as Collin stepped around me and shut the door.

"No, I'm not," I muttered defensively.

"Oh yeah," Collin turned on me. He set his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face the living room.

"Then make yourself at home," the way Collin said it made his words sound like a challenge.

"Fine," Collin smiled and disappeared down the hallway. I sighed and walked into the living room. It was warm in a bizarre way. Only one wall was covered in school photos, the rest were bare.

There was a piano against one wall and a couch on the exact opposite side of the room. I walked straight for it, passing both the loveseat and armchair.

I curled up in the middle of the couch with my legs underneath me.

I stared at the piano and tried to figure out who played it.

I could see Trace playing it, her overworked hands gliding over the keys. Maybe playing something that would keep her mood up as she tried to deal with her two boys.

I smiled.

I tried to imagine James there, smashing at the keys maybe, but playing music nonetheless.

Collin was another story.

I tried to see him there, sitting on the bench and reading from music sheets, but it wasn't working out so well. He would always end up playing something random, but sweet. His fingers would float across the keys in a way that looked so peaceful, so natural...

But, that was my imagination. Collin couldn't do that in real life.

"What're you staring at," I jumped. Collin stood in hallway by the door, staring at me.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Right," he glanced in the direction I was looking in. "You don't play do you?"

I shook my head.

"No, do you?" He paused then sank down beside me on the couch. I pulled my legs out from under me and sat crossed legged facing Collin.

He smiled.

"Not really, but I can play, if thats what you mean," I was stunned. Collin playing piano? This I had to see.

"Show me," Collin laughed and shook his head.

I pouted.

"Oh, come on, please?"

"Nope," Collin was still smiling as he stared straight ahead, avoiding my gaze.

"Fine then, be that way," I stared at the ceiling.

Collin sighed.

"I still don't get how she always does that," he muttered, but he got up and dragged his feet to the piano.

I followed, smiling.

With a resigned sigh he sat down on the piano bench pulling me down with him.

"What should I play," I stared at him.

"I don't know," I spluttered when Colin didn't say anything more. "Play whatever you want,"

And he did.

His fingers weren't as gentle as I expected them to be. I suspected that maybe he had played before he had gone through his transformation. As I stared at his middle school photos, it's seemed likely.

Collin had been a relatively short kid. I mean compared to now, he was puny. He had a huge smile in all of his pictures, but that seemed to be the only thing big about him.

I hated to admit it, especially sitting beside him in that moment, but, Collin had been small. It sort of made sense. The way he talked and did all the things he did in the day, you would see his as a smaller person.

I was distracted as the song Collin was playing changed.

I frowned, then my eyes widened in shock as I recognized the first few bars of A Whole New World.

I giggled. Collin stared at me questioningly. I shook my head. I thought only girls ever bothered to learn this song.

Collin stopped mid song and stared at me.

"What?"

"What's so interesting about playing piano?" I shrugged.

"I just learned something I didn't know about you," I paused and my eyes narrowed. "Now that I think about it, I don't know anything about you,"

Collin got up and walked out of the room. I followed him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said opening the kitchen door.

"Yes you do, all I know is that you're a werewolf, you play piano and that you live with your mom and brother. That's not very much Collin," His fists were clenched when he turned on me.

"Isn't that enough," his voice was low and harsh. I was taken aback.

I took one small step back, so did he.

"No," I whispered, "it's not enough Collin, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing," his eyes brightened for some bizarre reason, "but you seem to be hiding something from me,"

"I've told you everything Collin, you know that," I glared. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"Do I?" he turned around.

"What are you talking about," I was yelling and I wanted to stop, but Collin was being so frustrating!

He turned calmly to gaze at me, seeming unaffected by my voice.

"You know," he paused and brushed my hair out of my face. I was still mad, but I just couldn't ignore the burning hot trail his hand left behind. "I think you look cuter when you're mad,"

"Collin!"

He chuckled.

"But I still don't like it, don't be mad," he stopped. I gritted my teeth. "It's just that my past isn't something you need to know about, it's over, long gone and it won't affect my future," Collin pursed his lips.

I took a deep breath.

"But what did you mean, about me keeping secrets," I decided that I should just drop the whole Collin's past thing, I wasn't getting anywhere anyway.

"You never told me the whole Jared story," my heart beat accelerated. I thought I had already dodged this bullet. Obviously it was a heat seeker and had just found its roundabout route.

"J-Jared? Jared who?" Collin rolled his eyes.

"I'm not stupid, just tell me Lex. I won't get mad, I swear,"

"Tell you what? There's nothing to tell," I looked away.

"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered, "Alexys, in a relationship, there should be trust right?" I nodded. "We're in a relationship right?" I didn't answer.

Collin seemed surprised.

"We are, aren't we?"

I nodded again.

"Then why don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you," I muttered.

"Then tell me,"

"I-," Collin grabbed the sides of my arms and put me on the counter so we were face to face.

"You didn't do anything with him did you?" Collin was seriously worried about that. I had to laugh.

"No, of course not," I was still giggling. Collin smiled.

"Then there's nothing I would be mad about, just tell me," I sighed. I was so gonna lose this battle; there was no way I could get Collin to forget the whole issue.

"Fine, I dated him for a year, grade eight, we broke up right before I moved here. I didn't really like him, but he was someone my parents approved of. You know the whole rich family, good grades thing. He was blonde, of course, and all the girls wanted him. I still don't get why he chose me when he could have had any girl in school," Collin's eyes went flat.

I continued quickly.

"He met my parents after six months, it was the first time my dad had come home in two years and we all knew it was cause my mom had told him I was serious about Jared, even though I wasn't. I was only in grade eight; I didn't know what I was feeling. I was just psyched that I was dating someone popular, you know. My mom told me that Jared and I would be together forever and she was happy that I hadn't had to wait so long to find 'the one'", I rolled my eyes.

"Did you think he was the one?" I stared at Collin blankly. Well that was a dumb question.

"Of course not, you're the one," Collin snorted.

"Right, continue," I frowned.

"At the time my mom hadn't been planning on moving, if I had known we were leaving I would have broken up with him a long time ago. Jared wasn't exactly the best person to be dating,"

"I don't get it,"

I shook my head.

"Well, he's no you, in other words he wasn't very protective, he didn't seem to care what other people did or said to me, not even his own friends," my eyes closed then snapped open again.

"You don't have to keep going, I've heard enough," I shook my head.

"No, I already started, I'm gonna finish," I took a deep breath. "Jared was ... abusive. He didn't beat me up or anything. It's just that when he got mad, he'd take it out on the closest thing to him. He'd lash out at me all the time. I never got hit, Jared was a lousy fighter, but even if he did hit me, I don't think it would have hurt as much as his words did. Every time his parents would get mad, he would yell at me for taking up so much time out of his life. He would tell me I was a useless hoe and that he shouldn't have bothered to pick me off the curb in the first place. He'd send me away and after every fight he would tell me how sorry he was, how much he loved and how lucky he was to have me in his life. And every day I would go back..." I let the story end there, I could feel the inevitable tears coming and I wasn't about to cry over Jared, not again.

"Well, Jared was right about one thing," Collin's voice was cheerful. I glanced up at him.

"He was lucky to have you, any guy would be," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm no Cinderella," I muttered.

"Good enough for me," I smiled.

"Thanks," Collin shrugged.

"It's what I do, now turn that frown upside down," I smiled at him again.

"Good, now, I think I have to feed you know. Jake'll give me hell if you're hungry when you get home," Collin frowned at the kitchen.

"It's okay," I said quickly, "I'm not hungry,"

Collin snorted.

"Right, I was human once too ya know, I know whether or not someone starving to death,"

I bit my lip.

"You still are human," I whispered. He didn't answer.

"Let's get you some food, okay?" I nodded and Collin drifted over to the fridge leaving me on the counter.

Collin was silent as he started to pull things out of the fridge. By the time he was one, I was sure that the fridge would be half empty. I stared at him in shock.

"You've been eating soup for the past three weeks," he reminded me.

"Yeah, and you're super hungry," I muttered looking away. Collin laughed.

"That too," he admitted, not ashamed of himself at all.

I sighed and hopped off the counter.

Collin dropped everything, literally.

"Hey, I put you up there for a reason," Collin frowned and put me back on the counter.

"What?" The word came out jumbled because Collin was holding my face between his too big hands.

"Collin, what're you-," I didn't have time to finish my sentence.

Collin was very suddenly in my face, forcing me to kiss him back and I did, but I was a little more than confused about his outburst.

It was a long time before Collin let me go again, and I was positive that was because he remember I needed to breathe.

"What was that for?" I was still gasping for air and it took me a while to make sense of my mixed up thoughts.

He smiled.

"I don't know when I'll be able to do that again," My eyes narrowed.

"Well maybe next time you'd like to give me a heads up first?" He nodded and laughed.

"No problem," Then something occurred to me.

"What do you mean you'll never get to do that again? You're not breaking up with me," It took a lot of effort not to add again to that sentence.

Collin didn't answer.

"Collin, don't do this to me, not again," I couldn't help myself. I was so selfish that I would bring up something that would hurt him just to keep him longer.

"No, I won't do that again, I'm not going to lose you," I bit my lip.

"So what is it?" He didn't answer, but his hands clenched into fists and began shaking.

"Nothing,"

"Collin," My self preservation instincts told me I should shut up right there and not push him any further.

"I said it's nothing, don't worry about it," His teeth were clenched and now his arms were trembling too.

But I wasn't about to let it go, not yet.

I knew Collin wouldn't hurt me. Not on purpose at least. He wouldn't do that, it would hurt him too.

"I know it's not nothing, I'm not that gullible Collin," he glared at me and my whole 'Collin won't hurt me' resolve wavered.

"I said it's nothing! Why can't you just take the hint!?" Then he exploded. I shrank back as far as I could in the small space. Collin hadn't touched me, but there were pieces of fabric.

Collin's huge wolf eyes glared at me for another second before he grunted and walked out of the room.

I didn't follow him. I had gone to far, way to far. Me and my stupid curiosity had gotten Collin mad at me. Now I would probably never see him again.

I stared blankly at the floor as the tears I had been holding back spilled over.

I sat curled up like that until Jacob found me there ten minutes later.

"Collin called," he explained softly. "Let's go," I nodded slowly as Jacob took me in his arms and kicked open the back door.

Collin didn't come down to say good bye.

"I messed up didn't I," My voice broke.

"A little, why'd you do that anyway, you should know better,"

"I was bored," Jake chuckled.

"Yeah, well you'll be bored for a long time. Collin will never forgive himself and he'll be super careful around you now, so say good bye to the fun days,"

I shook my head.

"No, he didn't hurt me though, I'm perfectly safe with him," Jacob pursed his lips.

"Yeah, but he could've and that's gonna torment him for as long as he lives," I shook my head.

"I really messed up,"

"Hey, the rest of them have made that mistake too, how do you think Emily got her scars?" I shook my head, trying to clear the image and denying Jacob at the same time.

"Not all of them,"

"What do you mean?"

"Nessie hasn't done anything wrong yet," I whispered.

Jacob stopped two meters from the door.

"Who told you about her," he hissed. He hadn't started walking yet.

"No one, I met her, she came to visit me, in the hospital..." I stopped. Jacob was shaking. I knew better now, I didn't say anything anymore.

"Yeah, I know you've met her, but who told you," I was silent. "Alexys,"

"Collin did, please Jacob, don't get mad," He shook his head and the trembling stopped.

"I'm not mad," he hissed, but he started walking again.

"Okay," I muttered.

"She has done something bad you know," and Jacob smiled.

"What?"

"When she was born, her aunt and I used to fight over who got to take care of her," he paused and winced, "One afternoon we were arguing over who got to comb her hair. Nessie picked her aunt, I almost ripped Rosalie's head off," he was grinning when he finished.

"Oh," I murmured politely, "Interesting," he laughed then stopped. "But still not as bad as you. Maybe Collin is different, he'll come around," We were inside now and Jacob was walking toward the kitchen as he said this.

"Maybe," I headed toward the living room and sat down in the middle of the small couch.

Collin wouldn't come around, that much I was sure of. I'd gone way too far, I should have stopped the minute he started losing his temper. I should have started to comfort him, not piss him off more.

I shut my eyes and leaned my head back against the couch.

Collin had been right, that kiss was probably the last time he'd ever be able to do that. I sighed and replayed the memory as many times as I could before I fell asleep.