TABLE FOR TWO

The car slowed down until Mistah J parked it directly in front of the restaurant entrance. Like a limousine gets parked to let a celebrity out, it was like I was his celebrity and he was about to walk me down the red carpet.

He turned the engine off, got out of the car and closed the door behind him. He walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door. He offered his hand to me, I took hold of his hand and stepped out of the car.

At least we were back in our original clothes again...he was in his maroon shirt but this time donned a more formal silver jacket slipped over the top. It was almost like we had a huge shopping trip in the evidence room, all of our clothes and weapons had been confiscated. Me? I changed from my prisoner uniform back into my baseball jacket ensemble. I took the first chance I could to get out of that prisoner clothing. Turns out, a public toilet wasn't the perfect space to change clothes but luckily nobody saw me whilst I was changing outfits. If they even peeked at me whilst I was changing, they would lose their eyes permanently but it didn't come to that...a little disappointing but oh well.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking at the restaurant. Hahaha...it was an incredibly posh restaurant. So posh in fact that it was just his apartment...oh my god what a joker he is hahaha. "Alright so it's not exactly a restaurant but certainly the most romantic place where we can eat and enjoy some entertainment isn't it?"

"Anywhere is romantic with you puddin" I smiled, hiding my slight disappointment that it wasn't an actual restaurant. "Aren't you worried about getting caught here though? I mean this is where we got cornered and arrested in the first place..."

"Nah, because it's the place they'd expect me to be...it's the most obvious place so they wouldn't think to check. A little reverse psychology hahahaha"

"And the entertainment is just a guy you chained up in the basement earlier?"

"Exactly."

"Oh you little Joker you..." I said playfully, pointing at him.

"Do I get points for effort?" he asked playfully, unlocking the apartment door.

We stepped inside the apartment...amazing...oh my god...this was actually impressive. He had completely redecorated the apartment to look like a posh restaurant, it looked like a really high class apartment now. How did he manage this?

Mistah J flicked on the lights.

The whole place was designed as a stylish, expensive and luxury suite, fitted with modern furniture and spacious rooms.

"How did you get it from looking like a shit-hole to this amazing place?" I asked in awe of the newly decorated apartment.

"I know people" he winked. "OK, confession time this isn't my original apartment...it's a brand new apartment I bought the other day, I spent all week hiding it from you, the old apartment we were in was a shit-hole you're right!" he smiled at me. "Has nobody told you to not judge a book by it's cover?"

"More times than I can count..." I groaned.

"The outside of the building is deceiving, but the inside as you can see is quite something...so about our entertainment." he paused, going into the apartment lounge area. "Have you met our friend?" he asked, showing me a woman tied up to a chair. "Amazingly, this little madame here thought it was appropriate to try and insult me in the street. I gotta hand it to her though, she got herself in a lot of trouble by throwing the typical 'ugly ass freak' comment at me." Mistah J said, slapping the woman.

The woman tried to muffle from under the fabric which was tied around her head.

"What was that? You called my puddin an ugly ass freak? Well take a look at yourself, bitch!" I got right up in her face, angrily staring at her. I also slapped the woman.

"I know right? I politely warned her what happens to people like her, she tried running and screaming...can you believe it? Like how rude is that?" he asked, pacing around the room angrily.

"How much food have we got, puddin?" I asked, my stomach was growling at me.

"It's in the cupboard, depends on what you want"

I opened the cupboard. There was a note on the shelf next to the food.

The note read:

'Harley, please pass me this knife and enjoy some entertainment with your food.

Love you,

-Mister J'

There was a sharp knife placed next to the note. I picked up the knife and handed it over to Mistah J. He took it from me and directed his attention towards the woman, threatening her with the knife.

"Can you hold on, puddin? I gotta make myself something to eat." I said.

"Check the fridge." he responded.

I opened the fridge door and looked on the shelf. It was a pre-made meal of pasta. Next to the plate was another note.

The note read:

'Enjoy yourself tonight, my princess of crime

-Mister J'

Cold pasta isn't my favourite meal, but that's nothing the microwave can't fix. I place the plate in the microwave and set the timer for a couple of minutes.

"Gimme a couple of minutes, OK?" I asked, smiling at Mistah J.

"Sure thing, we'll wait...won't we?" he replied, smiling back at me. He clenched his fingers around the woman's jaw and continued threatening her.

The microwave beeped. I took the plate out of the microwave. I don't need oven gloves, oven gloves are for wusses. The plate wasn't even that hot.

I grabbed a fork from the drawer in the kitchen area and leant against the table, putting the plate on the table surface and occasionally taking a mouthful. You're suggesting I should sit at the table like a normal person? I think you of all people would know I'm not normal by now...honestly, what am I going to do with you?

"Ready when you are, puddin" I said, taking a mouthful of my late-night pre-made dinner. "But first..." I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer. "Just in case I need to cut my dinner up" I said, glaring at the woman.

No, you don't use a knife to cut pasta up...you're really full of stupid thoughts tonight. It's useful if our party guest here gets any funny ideas, or if my puddin gets tired and needs to me to takeover from him. I held the knife menacingly, showing it to the tied up woman.

"Now, let's do some roleplaying! Pretend I'm the bouncer at the club and you're the party guest." he moved the cloth out from the woman's mouth. "You gotta convince me why I should let you in, or if we're speaking out of roleplay then you gotta convince me why I shouldn't kill you." he explained.

Roleplay? That was a new one. The woman was dressed fairly casually, looked like a stuck up bitch with straight jet black hair, perfect teeth and perfect face. The typical perfect bitchy slut type of a girlfriend who would sleep and have sex with everyone and expect to be treated better than everyone else. She deserves everything Mistah J does to her. People like her make me sick. Sick.

"Fuck you, clown" she said spitefully, spitting some blood from her mouth.

"Well! Someone's had a bad day haven't they? What happened, were you late for work? Did the cashier give you a tip in just change instead of notes? It can't be because you were kidnapped and tied up here and now being tortured for my girlfriend's entertainment...that's a great day for you! Hahahahaha!" He put the blade to her mouth. "You know, I actually really love it when a girl speaks to me like that..." He paused, looking over at me. "But only when it's my Harley who's doing it!" Mistah J slapped the woman and wiped the blood off of his face. "Blood stains often compliment the appearance, you know? I think you could take some advice on fashion because you clearly look like a fucking mess! I mean look at you! Fresh bruises, messed up hair and clothes...hell it's like you were trying to impress your fiancé and then dumped him at the alter!" he said, laughing.

"At least I can say I have a husband, what are you to this bitch here? She looks like she's drunk." the woman said, smiling at Mistah J bravely.

"Insulting me...that's one thing...Insulting HARLEY? Well...I think we'll ask her what she thinks shall we?" Mistah J asked me.

I smashed the plate on the floor and walked over to her angrily.

"I think your food is for eating, not throwing on the floor" the woman said, looking at me unimpressed.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I asked, scolding the woman.

"She doesn't have a mother anymore, I killed her!" Mistah J replied humorously.

"Fuck you, I'm not scared of any of your shit." the woman said angrily.

"Such bad language! Maybe I ought to cut out that tongue of yours?" Mistah J put the knife blade dangerously close to her mouth.

"Go ahead, I dare you" the woman replied, staring at Mistah J.

I got my knife from the table and also edged it towards her mouth, the other side of her mouth so both corners could be sliced open at any moment.

"Shall we, puddin?" I asked, readying my hand holding the knife.

"Together?" Mistah J smiled at me.

"Together" I replied, smiling back at him.

We both moved our knives and carved an uneven smile on her face. It didn't exactly match up but it got the idea across anyway. Blood poured from her new scar. She coughed and choked on her own blood flow until her eyes remained open.

"Now that...oh that's much better." I said to the woman, admiring her new smile.

"Go in the bedroom, I have a present for you" Mistah J said softly.

I sprinted to the bedroom and admired the outfit which lay on the duvet. I picked it up and skipped back into the living area.

"What's this, puddin?" I asked.

"It's for you" he replied, smiling at me.

"Oh my god! I love it!"

"I knew you would"

I ran back into the bedroom and stripped nearly naked. My bra and knickers were still firmly grasping my body to allow me to flaunt my fabulous figure.

I changed my clothing into a beautiful black and silver diamond patterned dress. I untied my hair and let it fall loose over my shoulders. I proceeded to make sure I looked incredibly sexy for Mistah J by admiring myself in the mirror. I also noticed a smart looking white tuxedo on the bed as well.

I re-entered the living area and posed.

"What do you think?" I asked, assuming a flirtatious pose and playing with his romance.

"Give me one moment" he replied, as he walked towards the bedroom. Minutes later he had assembled himself into the white tuxedo outfit and modelled in-front of me, taking my hand. "Fancy a night out?" he asked, kissing my hand.

I blushed.

"Puddin...I don't know what to say..." I said, still blushing at his romantic gestures.

"Say yes" he smiled. I didn't need to say yes, I instead hugged Mistah J closely, running my fingers through his hair. "Good, now one thing before we go" he assumed a more serious stance in front of me, pulling away from my hug slowly. "No matter what happens tonight, promise me you'll still be with me, by my side. Harley, promise me." he said seriously.

"I promise." I replied truthfully.

I didn't know what he was planning for the evening although I did know that I didn't get very much dinner and I was hungry...I guess smashing my plate on the floor had an upside though, a romantic dinner date with Mistah J!

"You look stunning, my dear"

"And you look handsome, Mistah J" I blushed.

"All formalities aside...are you sure you're ready for such a huge commitment?"

"Commitment?" I asked, confused.

"Remember what you promised" he replied.

"Hang on...what about this woman?" I asked, pointing at the woman.

Mistah J untied the woman from the chair and dragged her across the floor by the arm. He angrily threw her body out of the window. The window smashed and I don't know where the body actually landed.

"Problem solved." he skimmed his hands over each-other and adjusted his jacket professionally.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh of course...how silly of me!" he kissed me on the cheek.

"No, not that...these." I pointed at his gloved hands. "Surely surgical gloves aren't something to wear for an romantic evening out with me?"

"No...how incredibly unfashionable of me to think so..." he replied sarcastically. "And yet they're useful, so I'll keep them in my pocket." he took off the gloves and stuffed them into his trouser pocket. "Better?"

I nod at him playfully. He glares at me.

"Do you really want to wear them?"

"No."

"Then why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry, I'm just thinking of all the fun we're going to have..."

"What kind of fun?"

"Oh you'll see...you will see." he said, smirking maniacally towards me.

I wasn't sure if that meant something bad revolving around me...or someone else, but to be honest I didn't actually care. It was exciting to go out for an evening drive. Though, he clearly has something big planned for tonight.

We left the apartment building, shutting the door behind us. Or rather...slamming the door behind us, whatever you want to call it. We don't worry about possessions or even our lives, as long as you have good insurance then you're fine. Technically...threatening the guy to give us free insurance wasn't necessarily part of the deal but still...free insurance! Which also means we can now claim all kinds of fraud and benefits. Free money and freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want! It's a win-win situation!

You can't lose.