Chapter 28
Marian
It is nearly 5am and I am lying in his arms watching him sleep. I gently touch his face. He always looks so peaceful and happy. He is smiling about something and it makes me smile. I touch his nose, his eyes and I skim my finger across his lips and he smiles even more. I am tempted to kiss him, but I don't want to wake him. I sigh as I snuggle into the warmth of his arms.
I can't believe I would not see my cousin again. I know she is probably up getting ready to leave with Duncan and I want to see her, but at the same time, I don't. I know I would react badly because I feel I would be truly alone. I would have no link to my Mother and it saddens me. I am also annoyed with Jowan for involving her with his stupid plan and now they would never be able to track him. He is out there using his Blood Magic for Maker knows what and it angers me. He is dangerous. I know Anders felt the same. We have not spoken about it since we returned to our room last night, instead he made the most intimate love to me and I am still tingling from the intensity of it. I know he is afraid he might lose me for who knows what reason. I did reassure him that I would only love him and that I am committed to him even though we both realise we would never be able to marry under our current circumstances. We would only be able to marry if both of us lived free from the Circle, but we did not foresee that happening any time soon.
I sigh again and I gently disentangle myself out of his arms. I want to see Ariana before she leaves, but as I climb out of the bed; I feel a warm hand on my arm.
"Love please stay a while," he says softly. I don't have much choice, because he pulls me onto his chest.
"I would like to, but I want to see Ariana before she leaves," I say.
"But it is going to upset you," he says.
"I am already upset, Anders and I am furious with Jowan. It is not worth all the trouble he put her through," I say.
"And please don't get me started. I despise Blood Magic and anyone who is foolish enough to use it," he says. I can feel the tension in his arms. "And I am furious with him. Ariana and Lily are good women and now the one is leaving to join the Grey Wardens and maker knows what is going to happen to Lily. I...I feel sorry for her. She is innocent in all of this. It just goes to show you can never trust a mage who dabbles in Blood Magic," he explains.
"And you need to calm down, Anders," I say when I feel him tremble beneath me.
"That is impossible. It angers me, Marian," he says.
"Well then, allow me to indulge you for a moment," I tease. I made myself more comfortable in his arms and I kiss him.
"Good morning," I whisper and he grins at me.
"I can get used to this, you know," he teases.
"Why don't you just keep quiet while I indulge you?" I ask and his face lit up.
"Are you attempting to seduce me at this early hour?" he asks.
"Not really. I am merely...teasing you," I reply. I kiss him again as I move slightly.
"Love, please? We...I spent most of the night making love to you..." he reminds me.
"Mmm...At least you are not trembling...anymore," I manage to say when I feel him grow hard beneath me. It is too much for him because he wraps me in his arms and rolls with me until I am trapped beneath his strong body and the bed.
"Don't tease the mage," he drawls and I start laughing, but not for long because he presses his lips against mine. He gently runs his tongue along my bottom lip and I part my lips to allow him entrance. By this point, my nerves are tingling and I am aching for him.
"I like to tease the mage," I whisper and he laughs against my mouth and that only excites me further. I feel myself arch towards him and he lets our a low sigh. I smile, another dance has begun...
-o0o-
It is nearly 7am and we are lying with our arms and legs entangled. We are still trying to bring our raging emotions under control. I touch his face and it is moist with sweat. I am still tingling and I feel as if I might float away on a cloud.
"Thank you," he whispers as he kisses my forehead.
"That is...something else," I whisper and he kisses me again.
"I know. Do you want another round?" he asks and I laugh at him.
"Mmm...I don't think I can handle another round. Well, at least not today, but thank you," I reply.
"Do you think Ariana is still here?" I ask.
"I...I don't know. I do not know if they have already left. You can go and check if you would like," he suggests.
"Are you chasing me away?" I ask.
"No, of course not. I just thought you would want to maybe see," he replies.
"Fine, but if you would let me go, I might be able to," I tease.
"You are such a tease. Who taught you?" he asks and I give him a playful swat on his arm.
"You did. Who else?" I ask.
"I am a terrible teacher then," he says with downcast eyes and I smile at him.
"I would not know, my love. You are my only teacher," I tease.
"Go away, Mari," he teases as he turns away from me.
"Andy, come with me," I suggest as I press myself against his back. I enjoyed feeling his skin against mine.
"Mari love," he teases and he glanced at me. His eyes are darker than normal. They are smouldering and it excited me.
"Not...again," I whisper. He turns around and he pulls me against him. He touch my cheek and he kisses me.
"You asks for it," he murmurs.
"Mmm...Please come with me?" I ask.
Anders
After much persuasion and laughter, we are on our way to Ariana's room. Marian is in good spirits for some reason and I can only attribute that to our recent intimacy. I slip my arm around her waist and I kiss her cheek much to the surprise of some apprentices we walk past.
"Go, Anders," the one shouts and I grin at him.
"I can always show you more," I inform him and he the young man goes off laughing.
Marian nudges me in the ribs. "What?" I ask.
"Do you really have to let the world know?" she asks.
"They already know. They heard my declaration of love for you the other day. By now the Circle is buzzing with the news," I tease her, but she is not amused.
"They don't approve, Anders," she says.
"And I don't care what they think. All that matters to me is you and the hope that we might leave the Circle together, but that is unlikely to happen," I inform her.
"Don't say things like that, Anders. If I could, I would insist they let you go as well, but I can't. Andy, will you remain loyal?" she asks and I am taken aback by her question.
"Love, why would I want someone else? No one else will fill me as completely as you do and besides that, I only want to be with you. No matter where our paths take us, I will always love you and I don't want to look at another woman," I explain. "And you my love?" I ask.
"Andy love, you are mine. You will always be mine and I don't ever intend letting you go even though it might be months before we see each other," she replies and I breathe a sigh of relief.
"I gave you this locket," I remind her as I take it out from under her robes. "Take it as my proposal, love," I whisper and she embraces me.
"Yes, please, it is want I want," she whispers.
"Marry me, Marian," I whisper.
"Yes, I do," she whispers. I lift her and I swing her around.
"Mmm...I will have to find a ring for you," I tease.
"No. This is good enough, Anders," she says softly.
"I love you more than you will ever know," I say as I open Ariana's door. I head in and Ariana is busy packing her bag.
"You are still here. How?" Marian asks.
"Marian, good morning and Anders. You both look happy. What happened?" she asks.
"We are happy and engaged," I inform her and she nearly fell off her bed.
"Anders, will it be possible?" she asks.
"We don't know, Ariana, but it is out there. It is more of a commitment. You must understand, I love her and I will do anything for even if it means escaping the Circle," I reply.
"And you, Marian?" she asks.
"I love him. What more is there to say?" she asks, folding her arms. I realise she is upset by her cousin's response. I slip my arm around her and I kiss her cheek.
"I guess there is nothing more to say, but I don't want to see you get hurt. I do not see how he can escape. He has try five times already," she points out.
"I will find a way," I say quietly and I am ready to walk out taking Marian with me. This is not the response I expected. "I think you are full of nonsense and jealousy," I murmur.
"And we have discussed this once before, Anders. I am not going to discuss it again. Fine, do whatever makes you happy," she mutters and she starts throwing clothes into her bag. She also started trembling and we realised she is crying.
"I don't want to go, Marian. This has been my home for years. I am so afraid," she says softly.
"You don't have a choice, Ari unless you are thinking about Cullen," Marian says softly.
"He ended it last night. He says he couldn't bear the thought to touch me because I might be corrupted by Jowan's influence and blood magic," she whispers.
"He was never good for you, Ari," I murmur as I touch her shoulder. She turns around and she wraps her arms around me.
"He was so unkind, Anders. He would not even listen to my explanation that Irving wanted me to see it through to the end. He...He is an ass and I love him," she whispers.
"I love you, Ariana." Someone says and we turn around. Cullen is standing by the door looking like the ass he is.
"I...I don't believe you. If you did, you would never have said what you said. You called me Maleficar, Cullen. How could you? You know I have never dabbled in Blood Magic," she says softly.
"I...I...I am sorry, Ariana. I was furious that he involved you with his scheme. I know I say things I shouldn't have, but I don't want us to part badly," he explains.
"Part badly," she scoffs. "It is a bit late for that. I gave everything to you, you know and what did you do?" she asks and he looks away. "You have an issue with Mages, Cullen and what makes it worse is that you know most of us are good people, but you are quick to judge someone and brand them as Maleficar even when you know it is not the case. I...I think you should leave," she says softly. She is broken by his rejection of her and I feel like hitting him square in the jaw, but I am not going to. I can't because Marian is holding tightly to my arms.
"But, Ari...I...I love you," he implores, coming towards her. He reaches for her hands and before any of us realised it, he is kissing her passionately.
"I love you, Ariana and I always have and I am so...so sorry," he whispers. I take Marian by her hand and I lead her out of the room closing the door behind us.
"She loves him even after what he says. She loves him, Marian. I don't understand," I say.
"Love, surely you do understand?" she asks.
"But-" I say.
"Anders, she loves him and that is all she sees and feels. He insulted her, but at the heart of the matter, she loves him. I honestly thought you would understand," she says.
"But why are you upset?" I ask.
"I am trying to see why you don't understand. You and I share something special and I would never give up so easily on our relationship," she replies. "I...I won't be able to," she continues.
"And I wouldn't expect you to, Mari. I love you and I am sorry. I just find it difficult...He insulted her. If he truly loved her, he would not have said what he did," I explain. "Maker help me, I would never insult you," I continue and she rewards me with a smile. We link arms and we stroll up the passage and out into the cool morning air.
"This is much better. Fresh cool air is what I need after spending the better part of this week inside," she says. "What does a mage do once the Harrowing is over?" she asks.
"Well, you can continue your studies or you can mentor the younger apprentices or you can do research," I reply.
"You know, I would like to try mentor the children. With Ariana leaving today, they are going to need someone to fill her place," she says.
"And you want to do that?" I ask.
"Well, yes. I can teach them a few things. I can draw on my own experience. If anything, I have learnt the meaning of what my father try to teach me: Magic will serve that which is best in me. Not that which is most base," she says softly. "I can help others using my healing magic, Anders. I only wish I am as good as you," she continues.
"Most mages can heal, but some like me and Wynne, we are natural healers. It is effortless. When I examined you after your Harrowing, I didn't have to think too hard. I instinctively knew what I was doing and Wynne was quite impressed. I think you have learnt all you can about healing magic, but do you know how to make potions?" I ask.
"No. Have you?" she replies.
"I know the recipes, but I have never tried. Perhaps we should ask Wynne, but for now, I think you should take it easy. The last week has been difficult for you," I say.
"I know and I need to write to my family. I know Irving said he would write to them, but I want tell them about my experience, Anders," she says.
"Why don't you tell me?" I ask as I slip my arms around her. We both look out over Lake Calenhad, and sigh. "It's beautiful, don't you think?"
"So calm and peaceful," she replies.
"So you won't tell me?"
"It was terrible, Anders. I...I get sick when I think about it. My family was in the Fade and when I spoke to them, they transformed... Bethany and Carver transformed into shades and my parents into abominations, but the thing that hurt me the most is that the person who is supposed to help me sounded just like you. And there is something else – I kept on hearing your voice, encouraging me. It was the strangest feeling," she explains and she becomes silent. She leans heavily against me and I know she is seeking some comfort.
"You don't have to continue," I murmur as I tighten my arms around her.
"I...I don't think I can," she says and I look at her. She is pale.
"Mmm...Hush love. I think you need some tea," I tease and she smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"I think I would like that," she says.
