Disclaimer: I still don't own anything, I don't know why you insist!
~Fic Start!~
*in the apartment in Igros, life has gone back to normal, even if it's just Firion, Aria, Ryoko, and Light living there now. Aria and Ryoko are in the living room in the middle of the night, with one candle lit between them. Light and Firion are off doing brotherly bonding stuff.*
Aria: "You know... we never did settle our dispute before."
Ryoko: "I liked it better when you wouldn't shut up about-." *her mouth flaps say Equestria, but it's bleeped out*
Aria: "Lawsuit, remember?"
Ryoko: "Dammit. Listen, a whole month has passed since then."
Aria: "...okay, fine. I'll let you off the hook. IF you play a game with me."
Ryoko: "A game?!" *reaches into her purse* "I got my PSP right here!"
Aria: "No, no, not that kind of game. I used to play this a lot when I was a kid. It's called Truth or Dare."
Ryoko: "Ohh no."
Aria: "What's wrong? I'm your best friend. You can tell me EVERYTHING."
Ryoko: "What's with that demented look on your face? You're looking for blackmail material, aren't you?"
Aria: "What? Come on, I'm not KUJA."
Ryoko: "What does Kuja have to do with this?!"
Aria: "Shut up. Here are the rules. Either you answer a question with so much honesty that even Applejack would blush, or you have to do a dare. And that's anything I say. Or, you could save yourself the embarassment and skip right to the dare."
Ryoko: "the dares are the embarassing part."
Aria: "You've played this before, haven't you?"
Ryoko: "With ALIS."
Aria: "Oh Goddess..."
Ryoko: "I accept your deal if you never mention the chocobo thing ever again."
Aria: "All right. And we'll start with you."
Ryoko: "...let's get this over with."
Aria: "Truth or Dare?"
Ryoko: "Truth."
Aria: "Okay. The reason you're sighing so much is because you're about to get married, but you're still thinking about someone else?"
Ryoko: "I'm not thinking about anyone else in a romantic sense."
Aria: "SO it's a sexual sense, huh?"
Ryoko: "You only got one question!"
Aria: "Ha."
Ryoko: "Truth or Dare?"
Aria: "Dare."
Ryoko: "Go out on the balcony and scream 'I'm a vindictive bitch'."
Aria: "WHAT."
Ryoko: "Well?"
Aria: *goes out onto the balcony and takes a deep breath* "I AM A VINDICTIVE BITCH!"
Some voice from the ground: "Aww, shaddap! We all ready know that!"
Aria: *walks back inside* "You're gonna get it now. Truth or Dare?!"
Ryoko: "...dare."
Aria: "Pick up the phone and call the local pizza place. Order a pizza covered in chocobo shit."
Ryoko: "What. The. HELL?!"
Aria: "Okay, instead, how about you pick up the phone and call Sephiroth and ask him to get back with you?"
Ryoko: "WHAT?! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE NO!"
Aria: "Fair enough, how about you strip down to your underwear and walk around singing 'I take a look at my enormous penis'."
Ryoko: "F-fine." *takes off her dress and starts walking around* "Whenever life gets you down, keeps you wearing a frown, and the gravy train has left you behind...and when you're all out of hope, down at the end of your rope,and nobody's there to throw you a line...If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go, come on and take a walk in my shoes...
Never worry 'bout a thing got the world on a string, Cause I've got the cure for all of my blues..."
*A door in the hallway opens, and Firion and Light come down the hallway*
Ryoko: "I take a look at my enormous penis, and my troubles start melting away..."
Light: _
Firion: XD!
Ryoko: I take a look at my enormous penis, and the happy times are coming to stay."
Aria: "YES! THAT'S IT! MUHAHAHAHAHA!"
Light: "ohdeargoddesswhatinthenameof sanitydidIwalkin?!"
Ryoko: *turns around to look at Aria, only to find that Light and Firion are there* "Oh FUCK me."
Firion: "Yeah because that song was such a turn on."
Aria: "Care to join us, boys? We could have a couples' truth or dare."
Light: "You dared her to do it?"
Aria: "Oh you BET I did."
Light: "Well, it makes a bit more sense then."
Aria: "Sit down. Both of you."
Ryoko: *puts her dress back on* "All right, Aria. You've truly embarassed me in front of my beloved! It's revenge time! Truth or Dare?!"
Aria: "Truth."
Ryoko: "You want to play this game to get me to confess to something that I'm not telling you?"
Aria: "YES!"
Ryoko: "Hahahaha... your turn."
Aria: "Truth or Dare?"
Ryoko: "Truth."
Light: *goes over to the entertainment center* "Do we even have a Famicom?"
Firion: *goes over there, too* "This all looks to be Region-3 stuff. There won't be a Famicom in here."
Aria: "You have to answer me honestly."
Ryoko: "I know that."
Aria: "And even the guys are in here, too."
Ryoko: "Your point?"
Aria: "Say the first name that comes to your mind as soon as I end this sentence!"
Ryoko: "Dimitri!"
Aria: "Oh... that's your brother."
Ryoko: "That's right. I've been thinking about my brother the last few days!"
Aria: "...well, I'm done with this."
Ryoko: "What do you mean?"
Aria: "I wanted you to admit that you thought about cheating on Light or something."
Ryoko: "I wouldn't dare-"
Aria: "Right, right, Miss Innocent. Spare me your lectures."
Ryoko: "Why would you think that, unless you thought of cheating on Firion?"
Aria: "I've not thought about ever cheating on Firion."
Ryoko: "Then why would you even imagine that I'd think about cheating?"
Aria: "Just to test you. there will be plenty of tests to your loyalty, especially since you're formally engaged now. The world just has it out for engaged people."
Light: "Is that true?"
Firion: "Yeah. It's easy to be afraid of getting married, with the difficult layover period like that."
*Suddenly, there's a knock at the door*
Light: *goes to answer it*
Guy: "Hey, it IS you!" *takes of his hat to reveal... Bartz!*
Light: "Well, if it isn't an old friend. What have you been doing?"
Bartz: "I'm the mailman for Igros!"
Firion: "Dude! I never thought I'd run into YOU!"
Bartz: "Haha! Firion, too! You guys living together!"
Firion: "Yeah, my dad here lets me live rent free. With my GIRLFRIEND."
Bartz: "That's funny, I never suspected you were related."
Light: "Look at our hair."
Bartz: "I thought you looked more like twins than like father and son, but whatever. So, you guys know a... Ryoko Ronsenburg?"
Light: "Indeed."
Firion: "Mom! You got mail!"
Bartz: "I always thought you were an orphan?"
Firion: "Pops here's remarried."
Bartz: "What a confusing scenario... oh well. Here ya go. It's a letter!" *puts the letter in Light's hand* "I'd best be going. Ever since Zidane was fired from the bar, he's been helping me and Boko do the mail runs. He'd hate to be left waiting... Bye!" *leaves with a big smile*
Firion: "Bartz is still as oblivious as ever..."
Light: "Igros only has one mailman? This is a large castle-town..."
Ryoko: "A letter, huh?" *takes it and reads the front* "To Lady Ryoko Ronsenburg of Igros..." *opens it* "...it's... a letter from Mateus."
Firion: "It's been a while since we've heard from him, hasn't it?"
Ryoko: *nods* "Last time I heard from him, Golbez had an unfortunate accident with a tea kettle."
Aria: "What kind of... wait, don't answer that."
Ryoko: "You don't want the details. I promise."
Light: "So what does our friend have to say?"
Ryoko: *as she's reading the letter, her voice slowly fades into Mateus' voice like they often do in movies* "Dearest Ryoko, I hope this letter finds you well. You'll be pleased to know that I have finished your wedding dress with all of my usual flair. However, I have also decided that you're going to have to pay me for it. Come to see me as soon as you're able. Alone, preferably. Your friend, Mateus Palemecia"
Aria: "He wants you alone?"
Ryoko: "He's not going to hurt me."
Firion: "It's another one of those tests of loyalty."
Light: "I have faith that Ryoko will not betray me. Her heart is like that of the purest white dove."
Aria: ROFLMAO "Oh god, stop it with the poetry."
Ryoko: "...my heart? Pure? ...ha. Ha... my love, I..." *looks away sadly*
Light: "What? Why have you become so sad?"
Ryoko: "I wish you were as pure as you make me out to be. To be honest, I've had a pretty bad history when it comes to dating. Some of the things I've done... I'm not really proud of."
Aria: "Such as dating Sephy."
Ryoko: "Yeah, such as that. But I've done worse than that."
Aria: "You've had worse boyfriends?"
Ryoko: "No, the things I did to them... I betrayed so many people, over things that weren't all that important, because... I felt like they weren't loyal to me, even though quite a few of them actually were. Men and I have always had a weird relationship, and it works a bit like this. I typically fall in love quickly, but the moment an invitation came along to go somewhere else, I would." *turns to look at Light* "I love you, Light, and I promise not to let that happen again. I just know my history. It scares me."
Light: *grasps around Ryoko* "If you know my undying loyalty, then you wouldn't think of making such a decision, correct?"
Ryoko: "Yes..."
Light: "Then I vow, right here and now, that even if you fall in love with someone else, I will always remain at your side."
Firion: "...wouldn't that invalidate your entire reason for being?"
Aria: *drags him to the other side of the room* "Stop being so snarky! It's getting good!"
Ryoko: "Even if I... were to fall in love with another?!"
Light: "I will protect you, even if our relationship turns to nothing but a cordial affair."
Ryoko: *sheds tears of happiness*
Aria: *watching longingly*
Firion: "You're really a sucker for this kind of thing, aren't you?" *walks over to Light* "Dude, you forget one minor detail. Mateus isn't gonna ask her for her love. He's gay, remember?"
Light: "That IS true."
Aria: "Dammit, Firion!" *throws a pillow at his face* "You ruined the moment."
Firion: "What moment? It was like Shakespeare in here, just worse. It was like the worst crappy Mary Sue romance fanfiction I've ever read!"
Aria: "I thought we agreed off camera to stop the self-aware jokes?!"
Firion: *rolls his eyes and walks off down the hallway* "Come on, Dad, let's go see if Onion left a Famicom around and play us some NINJA GAIDEN!"
Light: "But I don't feel particularly suicidal today." *kisses Ryoko's forehead and follows Firion* "My bride needed reassurance."
Firion: "Reassurance? Maybe. But busting out the lines like that? No one does that."
Light: "Yes, and why do you think divorce rates are so high?!"
*their discussion fades away as they close the door in the hall*
Aria: "Back to the truth or dare."
Ryoko: "You said you were done!"
Aria: "You don't want to see Mateus because you like him."
Ryoko: "Admittedly, yes, I like Mateus."
Aria: "No, no, you don't just like him. Not just as a casual friend. I know this for a fact. The way you blushed when you read that letter. I know you too well. You've thought of sleeping with him before."
Ryoko: *turns away* "Believe what you want."
Aria: "You didn't refuse it. Why's that?"
Ryoko: "I've dreamed of it. I haven't just thought of it. I've had dreams of his merciless ways. And they were wonderful."
Aria: "You want me to go with you?"
Ryoko: "I think it would be reassuring."
Aria: "Or is Alis better fitting for this mission?"
Ryoko: "Truthfully, Alis would suggest the same thing. and the moment something bad would start, she would butt in."
Aria: "Then that's what I'll do."
Ryoko: "Of course, without Alis, I don't even know how we'll get to Lesalia."
Aria: "But you don't want to call her?"
Ryoko: "At the moment? No. I got a postcard from her the other day, if you remember..."
*the postcard is on the fridge. It says "Someone I love was in Fisherman's Horizon, and all they sent me was this lousy postcard"*
Aria: "Oh yeah. Another world hopping vacation. How does she even send letters like that?"
Ryoko: "She knows the exact location of our mailbox in the entire space-time continuum. That's the only way it makes sense, so that's how I try to rationalize it."
Aria: "Or maybe she knows YOUR exact location?"
Ryoko: "That's another possibility." *shudders* "Either way, if you want to come with me to Lesalia, then you're more than welcome to. I don't know if I trust myself alone with Mateus."
Aria: "Last time turned out fine, right?"
Ryoko: "It did. We slept the entire time."
Aria: "How do you know HE slept the entire time?"
Ryoko: "Light said when he woke Mateus up... he had his hand down his pants."
Aria: "Oh Good God, maybe this gay thing is just a farce."
Ryoko: "Aria."
Aria: "He wants in your pants one time before you're married!"
Ryoko: "Aria!"
Aria: "He's gonna rape you if you go alone! I have to come with you!"
Ryoko: "...Aria, STOP IT."
Aria: "What?"
Ryoko: "How about... you let me borrow your phone, and I arrange for him to visit here instead? If he's willing, anyway."
Aria: "Sounds safer to me. Go for it." *hands her the phone*
Ryoko: *notices that Mateus is on speedial* "Whoa, really?"
Aria: "Who the fuck else do we call?"
Ryoko: "Fair enough." *presses the number 5* "Kinda sad that Koko and Boco's Pizza is higher on the list than he is, though."
Aria: "Considering we haven't ordered from them since they sent the rotten Gyshal Green and Zeio Nut pizza..."
Mateus (on the phone): "This is the Emperor. Please state your business."
Ryoko: "Mateus?"
Mateus (on the phone): "Milady. I trust you received my letter?"
Ryoko: "I did. Just now. Can I ask you a favor in return for yours?"
Mateus (on the phone): "It depends."
Ryoko: "I don't even know what you want to ask of me, but I have a sneaking suspicion as to what it is."
Mateus (oh the phone): "No, it isn't what you think it is. You see, I've begun working with a new company, and I need help with things related to my job."
Ryoko: "Oh! Would you care to drop by our place instead? Our airship pilot is out gallavanting the multiverse with her longtime boyfriend right now, so I don't have an easy way to get to Lesalia."
Mateus (oh the phone): "I'll have to install a warp in your apartment, then. I had one between ours and Kuja's, but Kuja and Sephiroth split up, so now they're living in different places."
Ryoko: "That's news to me."
Mateus (on the phone): "It happened not a while ago, so I have an extra warp. Then we could see each other whenever we liked, without the need of messy transportation."
Ryoko: "Or you could just move closer."
Mateus (on the phone): "My dear, you know that is a bad idea."
Ryoko: "It is. You're right. So, get your patookus over here and we'll talk about whatever it is you need from us."
Mateus (on the phone): "Wonderful. See you soon."
Ryoko: *hangs up* "He'll be over here instead."
Aria: *takes the phone* "Good! That way if he tries anything sneaky, Light can be all heroic and knightly, saving you from the bad guy!"
Ryoko: "You wish Firion was more like that, don't you?"
Aria: "Is it bad if I say yes?"
Ryoko: *sigh* "I don't think so, but he doesn't look much like the knight-in-shining-armor type."
Aria: "I know."
Ryoko: "It's okay, though. You gotta see Firion for who he is. He's rough around the edges, but he's still a great person."
Aria: "You don't have to tell me twice!"
*time passes. About four hours pass. Ryoko lays down for a nap in her bed, Aria's playing her PSP while sitting on the living room couch. Light and Firion decide that since they don't have a Famicom handy for some stupid reason, they're going to see if the local market has one.*
*the doorbell rings*
Aria: "Hold yer horses, I'm comin'." *opens the door* "We're not buying anything."
Mateus: "Funny, I have absolutely nothing to sell."
Aria: "So, this is the first time you've come here, huh?"
Mateus: "Yes, it is." *walks in, looks around* "Rather plain decorating you've got here."
Aria: "It's been a lot less inspired since Lynn decided to move back to Zeltienna to help with the rebuilding. It is her home, after all."
Mateus: "And what of the young man?"
Aria: "I don't know what happened to Onion. He just left one day and hasn't come back to see us since."
Mateus: "Pity. He's got a good heart, that one."
Aria: "Yep. What brings you here?"
Mateus: "Ryoko did not tell you?"
Aria: "She said you were coming. She didn't say why."
Mateus: "Well, instead of having to repeat myself, let's... oh dear. Where is the little summoner?"
Aria: "Did you forget all ready?"
Mateus: "You're right. How has she been taking it?"
Aria: "She looks around sometimes like she's really sad, but she won't tell anyone about how she feels. She said that she gave up her summoning powers for the world, and she's glad she was able to do it... but I can tell that she feels lonely, considering it's what she went to magic school for. It's like she lost her life's purpose."
Mateus: "I can see why that would be a problem. Where is the dearie?"
Aria: "She's napping. Her room is the first on the left down the hall, if you want to see her."
Mateus: "why, sure. I'll check on her." *starts heading down the hall, finding the door is cracked just a bit so he can see inside* "She's still asleep."
Aria: "She sleeps a lot more now."
Mateus: *thinking* (I certainly hope that wasn't my fault.) *walks up to the door and pushes it open very gently*
*Ryoko is laying on what could be the fluffiest bed in existence. She's propped up by what could be a metric shit-ton of pillows covered in lace, and she's curled up on her side in a beautiful comforter that matches the pillows. She's cuddling with a plushie of Bahamut. Yes. She has one. Be jealous.*
Mateus: "Milady, I would be honored if you'd grace me with your presence, as we have an appointment this afternoon."
Aria: "Bah, that won't wake her up."
Mateus: "Good gracious." *picks up a pillow and whacks Ryoko on the head with it* "Excuse me, Sleeping Beauty, but if you wouldn't mind!"
Ryoko: *still asleep* "Master..."
Mateus: !
Aria: "Whoa."
Mateus: "That must be some dream." *starts sweating profusely*
Aria: "I was never under the impression she was into that kind of thing."
Mateus: "You can never judge a book by its cover."
Aria: "It would seem so."
Mateus: "What's with that look, Miss Aria?"
Aria: "The jig's up, Mateus. Your expression changed when she whispered 'Master'. You are not fooling me."
Mateus: "Whatever do you mean?"
Aria: "You've got an S&M fetish, don't you?"
Mateus: "Of... of course not."
Aria: "Yeah you do. A man like you, walking around in a robe like that? You're into kinky stuff."
Mateus: "Oh, oh all right, fine. I admit it. I like to be dominate."
Aria: "Ha! You and Golbez must have an interesting relationship."
Mateus: "We do. Now, let's wake her up, please. I really would like to discuss everything with you all."
Aria: "All?"
Mateus: "Are the knight and Firionel not home?"
Aria: "Nope. They went out to have brotherly bonding time. Searching for a Famicom."
Mateus: "If I would have known. I have one. When we get the warp installed, I'll send it over."
Aria: *leans down next to Ryoko* "Hey, you bum, wake up! HEY. Listen to me, Ryoko! WAKE UP."
Ryoko: *murmurs in her sleep a few times*
Aria: "How does Light do it?"
Mateus: "Would it have anything to do with that?" *points at the wall*
*there is a box on the wall labeled "For waking Ryoko in emergency situations"*
Aria: "Huh, why'd I never see that there before?" *walks over to it. "If I had any guess, it would be-"
*she opens it. it's a cheesecake*
Aria: "How do I know these things?! Huh? There's a set of instructions?!" O_o;
*In Light's very messy handwriting, it says "only one slice per emergency, otherwise shock may occur" and underneath it, is a scratched out line that says "give her the whole thing to wake her up."*
Aria: *takes on piece, puts it on a saucer, and lays it on the bed next to Ryoko* "There. Now, get out of bed, we have things to do!"
Ryoko: *wakes up almost instantly, and starts to pick up the cake, when she notices that Mateus is there* "What alternate world have I come to in my sleep, to find you in my bedroom?!"
Mateus: "Milady, we have an appointment for today. I need to ask a favor from you before I'll give you your wedding dress?"
Ryoko: "Oh... so it wasn't the world where you and I are linked together for eternity in a bond that requires me to give all of myself every night after the sun sets?"
Mateus: "What in the world were you dreaming?"
Ryoko: "You... you don't wanna know."
Mateus: "But I do."
Ryoko: *eats the cake very delicately, unlike when Light's around* "You fed off of my sexual energy. You had to make me orgasm just to stay alive."
Aria: O_O Ryoko: "I told you that I'd been dreaming about Mateus."
Aria: "Yes but... that's... that's pretty dark, even for me."
Ryoko: "Alis would say 'that's my sister!' very proudly."
Mateus: "But... milady, we have much to discuss. Please, let's go sit at the table like normal adults."
Ryoko: "Oh, all right."
