Final chapter.
~~||~~||~~ Third Person ~~||~~||~~
"You're leaving." The words were neither a question nor a command, simply deadpan. Kuni turned around, her answer clear over the tripping pattern of the rain.
"Yes, I am," she said quietly. "As soon as it stops." She pointed to the steady shower outside, and turned back.
Deidara nodded, even though she couldn't see, the hollowness in his chest heavy and constricting. He sat next to her – careful to keep his limbs from brushing hers – throwing a blanket over both their shoulders and struggling to find something to say – something that didn't want to make him grab her and hold her tightly to his chest.
For the longest time, they simply sat there, cocooned in the sound of the rain and – did they want this? – the warmth of each other's skin.
"I…" Kuni said presently; Deidara immediately shot up, "I'm going to be killed, aren't I? Either way, I'll be hunted down and murdered, no?" The words were said calmly, almost casually, but somehow that managed to scare Deidara even more. He turned around, grabbing her shoulders – funny, they both thought, we seem to end up in this position a lot – and forced her to look at him, pushing up her chin, the fear and worry painted across his face.
"Don't say that, yeah. Please don't say that, Kuni."
Kuni. He still called her that, after everything. Another problem to add to her already confused mind. Why did he look at her like that, then, with so much emotion it amazed and terrified her? Why couldn't she look away from those eyes?
With some difficulty, she wrenched herself away, his fingers leaving harsh marks in her skin, reaching out one hand to catch the droplets. The rain had eased a little - no, god no, please no, she thought, suddenly panicked. It was gentle now, slow, fat drops that clung to her knuckles – those same fat drops that told her she hadn't much time left. Almost none at all.
And so Kuni ploughed on, determined to make herself hate Deidara – really hate him. Why?
Because it was far, far too hard to say goodbye to a man you were desperately in love with.
Why are you pretending like you don't care, Kuni?! He looked for the answer in her hunched form. Why are you acting like you're not scared when I can feel your soul tremble with it?
"But it's the truth, isn't it?" She said, almost bored. Deidara looked at her in some confusion, before remembering what they were actually talking about, and not the angry questions in his head. He shook them out, balling his hands into fists.
"I don't know," he whispered, watching her squeeze her eyes shut and feeling his heart clench at the same time. "I don't know much anymore."
Please stop doing this to me, Deidara. Stop making it harder and harder to let you go. She curled up on herself, an instinctive move to stop falling apart all together. Deidara watched her out of the corner of his eye.
He had never seen her look so defeated.
"Kuni," he said, determined to do something right. "Kuni, I won't let them touch you, un. You know that, don't you? You know I won't let you get hurt, right?"
She took a deep, shuddering breath. "Stop it."
"What?"
"Just stop it." Another gasp that concealed the smallest sob.
"Stop what, un?" His brow creased in worry, his arms automatically drawing her in. She let herself be gathered in his embrace, numbly resting her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were wide open, staring at the slow rain. His touch and smell and feel were so familiar.
So familiar. I know you too well, Deidara, she thought, and you know me even better. That's the problem right there, isn't it? It's because we know each other inside and out that we can read each other without saying the stupid words. If I didn't know you like I do, would I be so close to breaking right now? If I didn't know you so well, would I love you so much?
It was that last thought that made her crack. Silently, she curled around, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his. Soft, shallow breaths. He did the same, his gaze even with hers, not daring to blink in case she disappeared.
They sat like that, staring at each other, understanding everything but not nearly enough. Because there was another problem. There was just too much to comprehend. Far too much fear and helplessness and love to understand.
So they just sat there, entwined, silent once again.
"The rain's almost stopped," Kuni whispered. Deidara reacted immediately.
"Stay, un," he said, realising even as he spoke how hopeless the notion was. Kuni shook her head. "You know I can't, Deidara." Deidara. This time, she said his name, the single word cutting into him so deep the desperation came flowing out.
"No, Kuni, un! But you can't just – just disappear from here – from me like you never existed! I'll come with you!" He shook her shoulders again, seeing the sad smile on Kuni's face. "No! Don't look at me like that! I'll help you – I'll hide with you, fake my own death, something, anything. I'll—" And suddenly his shoulders seemed to sag, the fight gone. "Oh god, Kuni. Oh god."
Kuni swallowed her tears, instead faking a shaky laugh that fooled no-one. "Oh god, Deidara." She whispered. "Oh my god."
The rain really was gone. All that was left of it was the sharp clean smell and the thousand droplets that clung to the skylight and dripped onto their heads. Kuni pulled herself away, as slowly as possible, and clambered up onto the sodden crate. She didn't dare to look at Deidara lest she really start crying – something she had barely held off until now – and cling to him once again. She pushed her pack over the lip of the hole, and her tears to the back of her throat where they sat there, a hard, cold reminder of what was inevitable.
Deidara looked at her – was look the right word here? No, he studied her, memorized her. "I'll come for you, un." He said quietly. "You know that, don't you? I swear it, so wait for me, un." He attempted a smile. "Don't go running off with someone else, yeah?" The smile flickered.
Kuni bit back a thousand words. There was nothing to smile about here, and still they did. She knew what he was trying to say – she saw the 'please, please don't let me go' in his eyes.
But she nodded all the same, forcing a weak grin onto her face. "Of course I won't! Well…" She paused, pretending to think but really just wiping away a stray tear – a single tear – away from her cheeks. "I might, you know, if he's better looking than you." But her voice cracked miserably at the end, and Deidara understood at once.
I love you so, so much.
Deidara pulled Kuni towards him, drawing her lips to his, but she stopped, moving back, shaking her wet hair so a hundred luminous shards scattered in a hundred different directions. Deidara watched her, and to him, she was perfection.
Again. Again and again. That silence.
"Promise me one thing, Deidara." Her voice barely above a whisper. "I… I don't know what's going to happen after this point, and nor do you. But please… please promise me that this'll never change. This memory won't change. We won't change. Do you promise me that, Deidara?"
He looked at her again, a long burning look that remembered everything – her flushed cheeks, tired, too-bright eyes, that feel and warmth that was Kuni. They look at each other because they wanted to freeze this moment and lock it away.
"Do you promise, Deidara?"
"I promise, un."
