Disclaimer: I don't own anything Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man 3, etc. I just own Anna.
Chapter 27
Frantic
No missions. Not a single measly mission.
Anna was going stir crazy, to say the least. It was like Spring Fever without it being Spring.
Day in and day out, Anna would start off with meetings, have lunch, paperwork, and then training before she'd go home later that night, eat a very late dinner, and get up to do it all over again. It was boring, and tiresome, and that was just the bureaucracy work. The training was the highlight of her day.
But that highlight had been robbed from her as of late, as Natasha and Clint were away on their own respective missions. Anna was left alone to train by herself, but that was never as fun, nor was it as beneficial. So the days dragged on, and each second that went by, Anna contemplated blowing her brains out right then and there on the conference room table.
She didn't even understand why she was there, to be honest. She was sitting in with three other teams, similar, but differing from Captain Rogers' STRIKE team, but teams that deal with slightly different, lesser drastic and dyer situation. Anna wasn't part of a team, nor was she even going out into the field as of late. And why have her train with Nat and Clint if Fury wanted her to be more of a solo agent like them? It was definitely giving her mixed messages.
It was bearable though. At least she was learning something. She'd keep the tactics and logistics of it all in her head in case she found herself in a situation she was put up against a team and needed to make sure she didn't get caught, or something along those lines. Plus, it'd come in handy if she was one a team someday.
The only thing that really made her want to storm out of there though happened to be the two guys sitting across from her during the meetings. Ryan O'Hagan was a twenty-seven-year-old agent with light blonde hair and light brown eyes. He was the head of one of those quick acting black op teams that was a step down from what would be considered STRIKE. His second in command was sitting right beside him. Ricky Dadney was two years his younger at twenty-five with dark black hair and even darker eyes.
O'Hagan and Dadney were two younger, more subtle versions of Agents Victor and Halldor, aka Tweedledee and Tweedledum. They would pay attention to the meeting for the most part, but Anna would catch them making snide comments to one another while always looking at her, smirking and snickering.
Anna had hoped to leave the childishness back in New York.
She distracted herself by paying attention to what she was supposed to though, and thankfully, after a dreadfully long morning, it was time for lunch, marking the end of the meetings she had to attend for the day. Before anybody could stop her, Anna rushed out of the office, her papers and files all stacked on top of each other in a pile in her arms. She, of course, was more focused on getting out of there and not dropping her paperwork that she walked out and ran right into somebody, dropping everything she had been trying not to.
"Shit," she muttered under her breath. She knelt down and started to quickly pick up her things so not to block the hallway any longer than was necessary. "I'm sorry," she said a bit louder so the other person, who was kneeling beside her to help pick up everything. "I wasn't looking where I was going."
Anna heard a scoff behind her, and as she was picking everything up, turned her head to see O'Hagan and Dadney walking out, smirking as they saw her.
Great, another thing for them to joke about, Anna thought, turning her head down to the floor as she moved faster to pick everything up. This is high school all over again.
"No, it was my fault," the man said, standing up once he got everything he could. "I'm sor-oh, Anna. Hi."
Anna looked up from her position on the floor, and her eyes landed on a slightly surprised Captain Rogers. She smiled, and turned a bit red because of she was making a fool of herself, but stood up and spoke with comfort and confidence that she always seemed to use when it came to him. "Oh, hi," she said. "How are you, Steve?"
"Oh, you know, I'm alive," Steve answered. "And yourself?"
"Oh, you know, morning full of meetings you'd wish you could listen to when you can't sleep at night. I swear, those meetings will put anybody to sleep anytime of the day, no matter how many cups of coffee are in your system," Anna rambled. Her eyes fell to the papers in his hands, and she moved forward to take them. "Shoot, I'm sorry. Let me take those from you. I'm sorry I ran into you!"
"Oh, that's okay. You're not hurt, right?" Steve said, making sure everything got back to her.
"Oh no. I'm stronger than that," Anna said.
"What was up with Agent O'Hagan and Agent Dadney?" Steve asked.
"Nothing, don't worry about it," she insisted. "You coming in for meetings?"
"No, I was just on my way out, actually," Steve answered. "I was going to go get lunch if…you know, you'd like to join me? I, if you can, I mean, I know you're important and busy and all…."
Anna scoffed. "Important and busy," she laughed. "Yeah, right. I'd love to go out to lunch. Do you mind if I drop these off at my desk first?"
"Here, let me help you with those," Steve offered, taking part of the stack for her.
"Oh, ever the gentleman," Anna chuckled, embarrassing the man.
Making him red was just too much fun. Anna couldn't resist.
The streets were busy, the air cold. It was almost Christmas, after all, and everybody was scurrying about getting Christmas presents. Anna and Steve walked side by side down the sidewalk until they got to the quaint little diner. It was packed, but they were seated relatively quickly in the back in a booth.
Steve ordered a healthy balance of a triple bacon cheeseburger with French fries, onion rings, a chocolate milkshake, and two slices of apple pie. Anna just ordered a burger and fries.
"So, how have you been?" Steve asked. "Busy, I bet. I thought you were living in New York though."
"I was up until a couple weeks ago," Anna answered. "Though I was in Russia from mid July to mid November. I've been stuck in meetings since I got here."
"Why the move?" he asked.
"Why else? Fury relocated me. Still hasn't exactly told me why though," she said. "I didn't think I did that bad of a job to be moved here for a desk job."
"A desk job?" he asked. "I thought you'd be out in the field."
"Me too, especially since he has me training with Agents Romanoff and Barton whenever they're here. Instead he's put me in covert team meetings about tactics and whatnot. It's a whole bunch of mixed signals."
"Sounds like he's grooming you for a leadership position," Steve said.
"What?" Anna gaped. "No, Fury wouldn't do that. I mean, I'm eighteen for Pete's sake!"
Steve chuckled. "I didn't mean for anytime soon. Just sounds like he's trying to get your feet wet in every aspect of the job. Kinda makes me think he'll want you in a leadership position at some point."
"You really think so?" she asked.
"Sure, I saw it when I was in the military too. West Point CO's would be put in the field for a mission or two before they'd get promoted and moved back to brass," Steve said.
"I don't really want to lead anybody," Anna admitted.
"Maybe you won't be leading. Maybe you'll be following," he offered.
"I'm a lot better at doing that," she said, nodding her head. "But enough about me. How are you?"
"I'm okay. I keep busy," he said. "I've got a bunch of stuff I've been catching up on. You know, pop culture kinds of things."
"Ah, how's that coming?" Anna questioned.
"Okay, I guess," Steve said with a shrug. "I've been watching a lot of holiday movies because of the Christmas season."
"Do you have any plans for Christmas?" Anna asked.
Steve shook his head, his eyes moving to the front windows at the front of the restaurant. "No, not really. You?"
"No," she said.
"You're not spending it with your brother? What was his name again…Clark?" Steve asked.
"Uh, no." Anna cleared her throat. "Clark died on a job in July," she clarified.
"Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry, Anna," Steve offered.
"It's okay," Anna said. "He died a hero, doing what he loved. I'm proud of him."
"That's a good way to look at it," Steve said.
"So no plans? You're more than welcome to come over and visit. I can make us a festive dinner. It's not like I have anybody else to celebrate with," Anna offered.
"I wouldn't want to impose," Steve replied.
"Nonsense," Anna protested. "You'd never be imposing. The company would be welcomed."
"Well, if you're sure."
"Then it's settled!"
Tony. It was always Tony. The number one stressed in Anna's life other than herself was always and forever would be Anthony Edward Stark.
He was all over the news again, the headline across the screen was "Stark Issues Threat." Anna had missed the alert on her phone because she was in meetings, but the second one she definitely didn't miss. She rushed to her computer and went to one of the new sites just in time to see the replay of the missile shot from one of three helicopters towards Tony's house.
"Oh my God," Anna gasped.
Missile after missile went into the building and the side of the cliff, knocking half of the building off the foundation with the figure of Iron Man going down in the living room after it, but not before Tony managed to take out two of the helicopters (one he shot down, the other he hit with the piano from the living room). The next article was of the Tony's death.
Now, the Mandarin was a terrorist that had recently been attacking places in the US rather randomly. Anna did a little bit of research while she was at the desk to find out that Happy was in the hospital after another rone of the Mandarin's confirmed attack at the Chinese Theater.
"No, no, no, no, no," she muttered under her breathe and she left the desk and quickly tried to go straight into Director Fury's office.
Instead, right when she was about to go in, she saw he was sitting with a couple people in a meeting. Not wanting to get fired, Anna waited outside the office, leaning up against the wall desperately trying to call Pepper, but wasn't getting anywhere. Once he escorted them out and nodded for Anna to follow him in, she walked in.
"If this is about you going to Malibu because of Mr. Stark and the Mandarin, you can rethink it because you're not," Fury told her before they were even seated.
That kinda pissed her off. "May I ask why?"
"Because we already have agents at the scene," Fury answered, taking his seat. "We have it handled."
"Handled? They're saying Tony's dead, and I can't get a hold of Pepper," Anna pressed.
"We used thermal imaging to scan the site and we haven't found any signs of Mr. Stark's body. Changes are he isn't dead," Fury said.
"You really think that?" Anna asked, honestly asking to see if it'd make her feel better.
"Mr. Stark's made it through worse scenarios, Agent Carr," Fury reminded her.
"That doesn't explain why I can't go," she pressed.
"Because you're needed here," he told her.
"Sitting through meetings. Meetings I have no idea why I'm even sitting in," Anna said. "Why was I relocated to DC, Director?"
"You'll see soon enough. I'm waiting for some things to go through before I tell you, but until then, just do as you're told," Fury said. "And before you ask, not not because you're a child, it's because that's what agents do. They follow orders."
God, being talked down to like that really pissed her off. There wasn't much else Anna could do but let him do it though. Anna may be slightly hot headed and have a mouth on her, but she was respectful.
"Once things cool down, you can go to Malibu," Fury said. "But until then, you have work to do here. Plus, I hear Captain Rogers is going to your place for Christmas. Can't have him alone on his first Christmas here, can we?"
Anna stood up and nodded dejectedly. "No, Sir. We can't."
By the time Christmas morning came around, and Steve made his way to Anna's place, Tony's survival, as well we the whole story was plastered all over the news. A man named Killian had planned the whole thing with the Vice President, and so on, Pepper had been injected with something that Killian and his think tank at AIM created. Anna couldn't bring herself to turn the TV off though, which she repeatedly apologized for to Steve.
"Don't worry about it," Steve said. "I understand."
"Understand what?" she questioned.
"Your worry," Steve clarified. "You care about Tony."
"Yeah, I do. Vice versa? Not so much anymore," Anna admitted.
"Yeah, I kinda got all that when we were all on the Helicarrier," Steve said, nodding. "What exactly happened between you two?"
"I went undercover as his ward for several months. We got close. I still consider him family, and he considered me family too until he found out I was working for SHIELD. I don't blame him for hating me, to be honest. I'd probably hate me too. I mean, I kinda already do so…"
"Hey, you can't think like that," Steve told her. "You're put in hard situations and you do really well, if you ask me. I've never met someone like you before."
"Thanks Steve, that's sweet to hear from you," Anna said. "I just hope someday he'll hear me out. Listen to my side of the story so I can tell him that I didn't fake caring about him."
"Tony's difficult, but I wouldn't give up hope," Steve assured her. "And if it's taking too long, I'll go talk to him."
"I don't want to cause any trouble," Anna said.
"It's no trouble. It's what family does," Steve said.
Steve Rogers, family. Huh, that wasn't something she very thought possible. But, if Steve thought of her that highly, who was she to deny him some satisfaction? After all, he needed someone there for him more any anybody. He deserved it more than anybody. And the thought of having a family again made her heart swell. She was filled with a warmness she hadn't felt in a while.
Anna smiled genuinely for the first time in months.
It wasn't until mid-January that Anna was finally given time to go to Malibu to see Tony and Pepper, who were temporarily staying in a beach house until they finalized moving to New York City into his tower, which was still under some renovations after everything from the Battle of New York.
During the wait, Anna had found out that Pepper had been curried from whatever Killian had injected into her, Tony had his arc reactor and shrapnel removed from his chest, and Happy woke up and was in stable condition. It seemed like her trip was a little too late to be of any use and/or support for anybody there, but she had to go to make sure everybody was okay with her own eyes. It'd make her feel better.
At least, that's what she kept telling herself.
Anna didn't even know how she was going to approach talking to Tony. She knew she should've planned something to say, and scenarios of possible ways it could go, but whenever she tried, she nearly gave herself a panic attack. She still regretted not trying harder as she stood outside the door to the beach house, already having knocked on the door.
What was she supposed to do, just say: "Hey, how's it going? Heard shit hit the fan. Know how that feels. Why want grab dinner and share war stories?" Yeah, right! That's definitely go over well.
The door swung open quickly, and without looking, Tony bit into a peach he held in his hand. He obviously knew it was her by the way he was blocking off the inside of the place, not even addressing her properly. "What?" he demanded.
"I uh, you were, I just…" Anna stammered, getting Tony to look up at her oddly. He definitely hadn't expected her to be speechless. Usually when they were confronting one another, she had wittier comebacks that that. "Hi…"
Tony eyes her for a moment before he sighed and opened the door to let her in. "I suppose you want to come in," he said, walking into the place.
Anna nodded and walked in, closing the door behind her. She awkwardly made her way into the house. It was so different then his old place. This one wasn't really modern. It was definitely beach themed with white, yellows and blues. Her eyes went back to Tony after quickly scanning her surroundings instinctively.
"How are you?" she asked.
"Peachy," he answered, biting into the fruit.
"And Pepper? Happy? They're well too?" Anna pressed, keeping her distance from Tony. She didn't want to make herself seem at home at all. That's be rude and insensitive to his feelings.
"They're fine, getting better," he answered. "Not that you really care."
Anna sighed heavily. "Don't say that. It's not true. Of course I care."
"Right, so where were you when shit hit the fan?" Tony questioned, throwing the rest of his peach away.
"I tried to come, Tony, but-"
"More excuses and lies? Right, just as I'd expect from a spy," he muttered, turning his back to her. "Tell me something, do you even feel anything when you lie, or are you as heartless as you seem?"
"Heartless? You think I'm heartless? That I don't feel anything?" Anna scoffed, anger boiling her blood. She shook her head, hot, angry tears welling up in her eyes. God, she hated that she was an angry crier.
"Of course, it's in the job description, isn't it?" Tony asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge. "Then again, maybe it isn't. After all Coulson isn't heartless, and neither are Romanoff and Barton. I guess it's just you. Phil would be so disappointed to see how you've turned out." That was a low blow and he knew it.
"You have no idea what kind of shit I've gone through! No idea what I feel!" Anna screamed, something in her finally snapping. "Don't you dare tell me I'm cold, and that I have no feelings because I damn well do!" Tony turned around completely shocked at her sudden outburst. Even when she lived with him, even when he went off at her before, she never reacted like this. "I feel more than you could ever know. I care about you and Pepper and Happy and everybody, Tony! Don't you ever fucking insist that I don't!"
She just couldn't take it anymore. She was so tired of keeping everything in. She was tired of feeling so guilty, and taking the brunt of everybody's anger and disappointment, even her own. She was so sick and tired of being berated and looked down upon by her fellow colleagues. Anna was there to do good. She was trying to be the best agent she could be, and Fury took note of that, even Maria Hill did now. She backed off after she proved herself. But their leader at SHIELD didn't seem to reassure anybody else that Anna was capable of anything other than filing.
She knew she shouldn't have taken any of it to heart. She could only let people make her feel small if she let them. She knew her worth. But after so many year of being put down, she just couldn't take it anymore.
Anna turned away, running her fingers through her hair before pulling it back into a ponytail so she wouldn't have to deal with it. "And don't ever remind me of how much of a disappointment I'd be to Phil, because I remind myself every damn day about that."
Anna's voice was dying down, her anger dissipating and transforming more into self-loathing. She turned around, her blue eyes filled with tears, which shocked him. He knew she was mad, but why the hell was she crying? Did she cry when she was mad? Was she one of those people?
"You weren't there when he died, Tony. You didn't see him fighting until the very end. You didn't see him beg me to stop. You didn't see the fear in his eyes. I did. I was there. And I know how much of a disappointment I'd be to him because I'm the one that killed him. I shot him and killed him, Tony, so yeah, I know I'm a disappointment.
"I don't really know if there's anybody else to really disappoint in my life though. I mean, I disappointed you, obviously. And now I'm really a disappointment now that you know this. Clint and Nat would hate me for it. I know Fury didn't like it. If my brother knew he would've been mad, but he died before he could find out. And even then, I wasn't even around for him when he needed me most, so yeah, I'm just one big disappointment, hurting everybody I start to care about so I'm so fucking sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for existing."
Anna turned, covering her mouth as she quickly turned and ran out the door back to the SUV. She fumbled with her keys once she got to the far side of the car, the driver side facing away from the house. The keys slipped from her fingers and to the ground, and Anna was just so messed up in that moment that that little clumsy moment was enough to start her full on sobbing. She turned around, her back pressed to the cold metal of the door to the SHIELD vehicle and slid down to the ground, her have covering her face as she let the sobs out.
As much as Anna hated crying and showing weakness, it felt so good to let everything out. Her sobs were so loud, and her vision so clouded with tears that she didn't hear nor see Tony come out and follow her. The sight of her broken down next to the car pained his heart.
Of course, Tony was still mad at her, but he had no idea how much pain she was in. Not until she went off on him like that. He had no idea that she was forced to kill Phil. That was like forcing him to kill Rhodey. Or even just losing Rhodey. He was his best friend and like a brother to him. Anna had lost both her best friend, her uncle, and her brother.
And on top of that, she said she loved him.
Tony sat down next to her and remained silent until her sobs slowed down. Once she stopped sobbing and she could breathe, he let her sit there and get over her embarrassment for having him see her like that. It was so weird to see her so vulnerable and broken like that. She'd always appeared so strong. She knew exactly what she was doing and everybody around her could feel that, even if they didn't admit it.
"You okay now?" Tony asked slowly.
"No," she muttered, sniffling. Her voice cracked and was hoarse. "You hate me. I'm not okay with that."
Tony sighed heavily. "I don't hate you," he admitted. "I'm mad, but you know me, I'll get over it eventually."
Anna cautiously glanced up at him. "Really?" she asked meekly.
"Yeah, kid," he told her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"You didn't call me alien," Anna pointed out, leaning her head again his shoulder.
"Yeah, kinda got ruined when we actually met one…"
Anna chuckled softly. "Yeah, I see your point," she admitted. "I really am sorry, Tony. You know that, right? I never meant to hurt you, or anybody."
"I know. I know. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry too," Tony offered.
"For what?" Anna asked.
"Being me. Sometimes I have to apologize for that," he said.
Anna just chuckled and leaned into him more, wrapping her arms around him. "Thanks, Tony."
"No problem, Kiddo. Anytime," he said, leaning his head against her's hesitantly. It was still a bit unsure of all this, but he was just gonna go for it. "Hey, Kiddo?"
"Yeah?" she asked, peering up at him.
"I love you too."
A smile slowly grew onto Anna's lips. Tony had never told her that before, not even while she lived with him. And there were no words to describe how happy and warm that made her feel. Feeling loved was exactly what she needed. What they both needed.
Yay, so much in this chapter! There's new bullies, Steve, and making up with Tony! It's about damn time, right? I almost made it go a lot longer, but I was really tired of it, to be honest. He was supposed to still be upset with her going into the Sequel, but like I said, I'm too tired of it, and I'm happy with the way it's turned out though. I hope you guys liked the chapter, and please leave a review to let me know what you thought.
Thanks go to the following for their reviews on the previous chapter:
Jedi Jelsa777- Lol no, and I forgot about Viktor from Arrow. Silly me. No, it's not but that would've been a funny little thing wouldn't it? No, unfortunately Jamie won't be in this story. It would've been cool to do it if I had started the stories at the same time, but now it would be too difficult with how I did the other movies with Jamie and with how things are going to be with Anna. Let me know if you ever put those fan stories down on paper (or a doc lol). I'd love to read them.
Fangirling007- Hey, look, you so called Tony coming back and making Anna feel better! I hope you liked it. I know it wasn't too much of a fatherly roll, but at least he's here and they're on speaking terms now.
