A/N: Sorry to keep everyone waiting. I've been suffering from a severe case of writer's block and a serious lack of motivation. Hopefully, I'm getting past it and I've made it worth your wait. Enjoy!

I'd also like to thank JediSerenity82 for beta'ing this for me!

Previously:

I told the droid driver, "Republic Medical please."

"As you wish," the droid replied and started toward our destination.

Sitting back into the plush seat, I tried to relax for the short drive. When I got there, Aric and I were going to talk. No way was I letting him push me away again.

Flirting with Desire

Chapter 28

Aric's POV

"Go get some rest."

"I'm fine sir."

"You're not," I disagreed, relaxing against the pillows behind me, "Go back to the ship and get some sleep." Cutting off her protest, I added, "I can make it an order if necessary."

I just needed some time alone, just a few moments to process everything that had happened to me. When the Imperials stormed the bridge on the Gauntlet, I knew that was the end. I wasn't going to make it off that bridge alive. Knowing I was going to die, I was determined to complete my mission, get the Intel, and possibly save other Republic soldiers' lives. I'd just finished when I felt the first blow hit me in the back. Everything went numb and seemed to happen in slow motion after that. The force of the shot spun me around; I was hit a second, and then a third. Somehow I managed to take down the cowards who ambushed me from behind. As the adrenaline left my body, my world started going dark around the edges; I couldn't remember much after that after that. The next thing I remembered was waking up here, in this bed. My legs were numb and then there was K'agan worried and frightened for me. Then…then she'd called me her life mate. And I'd fracked the whole thing up…

"You can't, sir," she smiled at me, her voice taking on an almost smug tone. "You are currently on medical leave. As such, you're currently not in my chain of command."

"Elara," I sighed tiredly. I really wasn't up to arguing policy with the former Imperial. She'd win anyway. "Please."

"I'll give you some time, sir."

I wasn't sure that was exactly what I asked for, but I'd take what I could get. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Elara replied as she stood up and stretched. Once she reached the door, hand grasping at the handle, she seemed to hesitate. She stood there for a few silent moments, before turning back around, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"As you so aptly pointed out, I'm currently not in command," I smirked. I could see the look of annoyance spreading across her face as I added, "We're friends Elara, talk to me."

Seeming to take that as permission, she answered, "This mission has been hard on the Major."

"It hasn't exactly been easy for me," I said, a bite in my tone.

"It hasn't," Elara agreed, biting her lower lip before she finished, "But she saw you die sir."

"What?!" I breathed out. It felt like I'd been hit in the chest by another blaster bolt, driving all the air out of my lungs. K'agan saw me die?! What in all the hells had happened?

Elara's eyes filled with tears as she explained, "You were in bad shape. If not for Fourex, you wouldn't have made it back to the checkpoint."

I'd wondered about that. I'd have to thank the droid later.

Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and continued, "You lost a massive amount of blood before we could get you back aboard the Thunderclap. While we worked to stabilize you in the medical bay, the Major made sure we were clear of the Gauntlet before it blew."

I nodded. I wasn't surprised. K'agan was the consummate professional. She wouldn't let my injury stop her from doing her job and keeping our squad safe. As she's said in the past, she'd fall apart after everything was over and our team was safe.

"Your condition deteriorated before she could make it to the med bay, as she walked in, your heart stopped and you flat lined."

"Frack!" I closed my eyes and covered my face with both hands.

"While Yuun and I worked on saving you, the Captain watched us," Elara continued.

Oh gods, K'agan.

I could almost feel her eyes on me as she went on, "Three times... we tried three times and couldn't get your heart restarted."

My breath caught in the back of my throat. And my... mate, because that's what she was, saw it all. "K'agan," I choked out.

"We lost you, you were dead. I should have called your time of death," she admitted.

"Frack," I groaned. I lowered my hand as I glanced at Elara. I couldn't miss the heart broken look on her face or the few tears that escaped and were streaking down her cheeks

"It broke her."

I could feel my own heat shattering in my chest for K'agan. I had no idea what to say. I couldn't imagine how she felt, nor did I want to.

"I knew she was there, watching us. I had to try one last time," Elara admitted, "for her and only for her." She stood at the door quietly staring at me until she broke the moment with a small smile. "Imagine my surprise when it actually worked and your heart started beating again."

By all rights, I should be dead. Elara tried one last time, not because it was medically likely to work but because K'agan was watching. I'd had close calls in the past, but this was more than that. I should be dead. There was no way around it. That… I don't know… it was sobering and put a lot of things into perspective.

"Elara," I started but she interrupted me.

"Whether you ever walk again or not, that you're here, aware and talking with me is a miracle, sir," she stated empathetically. "Don't waste it arguing with someone who loves you beyond reason."

Opening the door, Elara walked out without waiting for me to respond.

And what could I say? She was right. Laying my head back against the mattress, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. After a time, I slipped into a restless slumber where even my dreams were filled with images of K'agan.

I was an idiot….

O~O~O~O

The first thing I became aware of as consciousness slowly trickled back into my brain was someone watching me, which shouldn't have been possible. I'd sent my minder back to the ship before I'd fallen asleep. I should be alone but I wasn't.

For a split second, I wondered just how much danger I was in. I took a careful breath and caught a scent on the air, one that was familiar and distinct, one that I would know anywhere. And I knew in deep.

"I know you're awake, Aric."

"K'agan."

Opening my eyes, green met blue. K'agan was sitting in the chair next to my bed. Stress lines marred her forehead and crinkled the corners of her grief filled eyes. She had dark circles underneath her eyes from lack of sleep and it looked like she lost a couple of kilos from not eating. She was so worried about me that she was not taking care of herself and it was wearing on her.

But gods, she was still beautiful. Her deep blue eyes were the color of the sky on a perfect cloudless day, her breasts were round and full and fit perfectly in my hands, and she had long luscious legs that she'd wrap around my waist. She was perfect and she was mine. Or she had been. Gods, I was so fracking stupid!

"I've come back to talk and this time you're going to listen."

"K'agan," I started.

"No," she cut me off, her eyes filled with fire, "You're going to listen to me."

"K'agan…,"

"No Aric, you're going to listen to me," she said, her eyes turning a cold glacial blue. "A new friend reminded me that I needed to fight for what I wanted and like it or not, you're going to listen to me."

A dark, foreboding look passed over K'agan's face. She sat up straight in her chair, a light flashed in her eyes before they narrowed to slits, and her lips became a hard straight line. I'd seen that look before; it was usually my cue to get out of her way because someone had made her angry. I'd only rarely had it directed at me, but unfortunately this time I was the target of her ire. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, I stayed quiet and let my mate talk.

"The Gauntlet," she started but stood up abruptly and started pacing around the room. "Making it back to the rally point and finding you," this time her voice broke. Glancing my way, I couldn't miss the tears filling K'agan's eyes. "When we came around the corner and I saw you lying on the ground, Elara leaning over you, I thought," she stopped and shook her head, not finishing the thought.

"What?" I nearly whispered, "What did you think?"

A tear streaked down her cheek as she answered, "Just for a moment I thought you were dead."

"K'agan," I started, wanting to comfort her somehow, but she shook her head and started pacing again.

"No, let me finish. I need to say it and if I stop I won't be able to."

Closing my eyes for a moment, I nodded my acceptance. If it was hard for her to say, I imagined it would be just as bad for me to hear.

"But I couldn't break down, couldn't show just how much I hurt. I had a mission to finish and our crew to protect. I'd fall apart later."

I'd seen her use this coping method in the past. On a mission, when we saw something horrific or we had a difficult situation, she'd put aside her feelings and get the job done. Later, when we were back at the ship safe and sound, she'd allow herself to feel everything she'd pushed aside earlier. Sometimes the emotions came out as tears in her quarters and other times the punching bag in the gym took the brunt of her pain. She once told me releasing the pent up frustrations kept her sane in this war.

"Luckily Elara got you stabilized and we made it back to the ship," K'agan continued her explanation, "We got off the Gauntlet and Tanno set off the explosives, blowing it to hell."

I tried to speak but K'agan stopped me shaking her head, "Let me finish this or I won't get it out."

Understanding, I just rested back against the bed and watched her carefully, waiting for her to continue. I wouldn't rush her. I'd done enough damage already.

"I wanted to go directly to the med bay, but I knew I wouldn't want to leave once I got there, so I went to my quarters, showered and changed." I could understand the sentiment. If our places were reversed and she was injured, wild banthas couldn't drag me from her side. I was pulled from that horrific thought when she drew in a shaky breath and continued, "I don't think Elara and Yuun noticed me when I first walked in. It was utter chaos. There were alarms sounding and lights. What was left of your armor was piled up in a corner. The worst though was the sound of your heartbeat," she sucked in a sob. "Even I could tell it was failing."

"K'agan," I tried, reaching out to her, wanting to offer her some comfort.

Staring at the wall, she never noticed my hand. Instead she wrapped her arms around her midsection, seemingly lost in her memories. Finally her voice broke the silence, a tear streaking down her cheek. "I broke when your heart stopped."

"Frack," I whispered, my heart breaking for my mate.

"My world shattered and I didn't think I could put the pieces back together if I lost you."

"But you didn't lose me," I tried to reassure her, reaching out for her again. "I'm here."

A bitter sounding laugh bubbled out of K'agan as she stepped out of my reach. "Didn't I?" she questioned me.

Gods! I was an idiot! I'd made a mess of things and hurt the one person I cared most about. I needed to fix this now. "Please... K'agan... please listen to me."

"Why Aric? I think you said it all this morning."

"Because I lied."

"What?" K'agan asked, eyes a lit with fire.

"I lied," I whispered, looking down at the bed unable to meet her eyes.

"Why?" A pleading note in her voice made me look up. Her blue eyes nearly broke me. I could see the pain I'd caused her reflected there. "Why would you do that, Aric?"

"Ra ii mr'ho'ri Ra iimr'ho'ri." Frowning, she gave me a wry look that demanded more of an explanation. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before diving into the deep end. "It's just.. It was so much all at once. I woke up in this bed and I couldn't feel my legs." I dragged a shaking hand over my scalp before continuing, "And then you were telling me I was your mate and it didn't seem fair." (Translation in Cathar: I'm an idiot)

"What? Fair?" K'agan asked, puzzled. She took a hesitant step closer to the bed.

"It didn't seem fair to saddle you with a broken man, so I pushed you away; hoping if I denied the truth you could find someone worthy of you."

"Gods, Aric," she huffed out, taking the last few steps to the side of the bed. "You almost got your wish."

"What!" I demanded, looking up sharply, our eyes locking. It felt like my heart pounding out of my chest. How could she have met someone so soon?

"Lucky for you, he sent me back here." she said, one corner of her mouth turning up in a tiny smile.

My breath whooshed out of me and I sank back into the bed. I'd nearly lost her. Frack! I needed to fix this now. "K'agan," I beckoned, holding out my hand again and this time she took it. Wrapping our fingers together, I pulled her down and she sat down next to me on the bed. Looking into her beautiful blue eyes and said, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb, I continued, "And I've known for a while or at least I think I have."

"Known what?" she asked, as she met my gaze.

"That you're the only woman for me," I whispered, "You're my life mate."

"Oh, Aric!" she said, tears filling her eyes. For just a moment all of her love for me was written clearly on her face. With the pad of a finger, she wiped away a stray tear, her face hardening before she asked, "Then why did you say those things? Why did you hurt me?"

"I'm broken."

"You're not," she denied, shaking her head. "You're injured, true, but that doesn't mean you're broken."

"My legs don't work, K'agan," I argued, thumping my fist against one of them. "They may never work again."

"So? You're here, you're alive and after watching you almost die… I'll take you anyway I can have you," she said, unknowingly echoing her sister's earlier words.

"I won't be able to have your back on missions," I warned her.

"And?" K'agan asked, clearly not understanding the problem or truly not caring.

"Since Ord Mantell I've had you're back, it's who we are, it's what we do," repeating the argument I'd had with K'eegan. "What's left if I can't keep up?"

Anger flashed in her eyes, her back stiffened and she nearly jumped off the bed before she said, "Everything's left you nerf herder! That's not why I love you."

"Why?" I couldn't resist asking, "Why do you love me?"

"Because you're a stubborn idiot," she snarked back with a grin Cupping my cheek, she continued, "Even after your demotion you supported me, mentored me and taught me to be the best commander I could be. I can trust you to always be there for me, to be the shoulder I lean on, and the person I can always trust to tell me the truth." Smiling, she met my eyes so I could see the truth of what she was saying. "You're my best friend. If you never walk again, that's fine. If you want to stay in the military, we'll find a way to make that happen. If you want to leave, start a new life somewhere else, we can do that too. I'll always be by your side, where ever that leads. Just don't push me away. It would break me."

"Gods K'agan," I whispered, leaning into her touch. "I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have."

Reaching out, I gently grasped the back of her neck and pulled her to me. Stretching out next to me on the bed, she snuggled into my body and pressed her face into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull her even closer. After a few moments, I could feel her tears dampening my fur. I held her tight as she cried, offering what comfort I could. After a time, the tears slowly tapered off.

"I love you," I told her again.

"I love you," she nearly yawned.

"Stay."

"I can't," she tried to argue.

"You're tired and the bed is big enough," I said. She looked ready to continue the argument, so I pulled out the big gun. "For me, I don't want you to go."

"For you," she capitulated as she got comfortable on the bed, resting her head on my shoulder. A few moments later, her breathing evened out and she drifted to sleep.

"No," I whispered, lightly kissing her brow. "I'd do anything for you."

Closing my eyes, I let the feel of K'agan next to me lull me into slumber….

TBC….