Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and many, many pairs of shoes.
A/N: As always, thanks to readingtime, the most fabulous beta in the world. So in light of my little prank yesterday, I worked extra hard to get this out to you today. Show me some love and let me know you forgive me.
Reading selection for the week is These Dreams by jbluvs2sing. This is a COMPLETE story. Edward leaves and doesn't come back. Bella is in college, but is still struggling with nightmares and abandonment issues. She runs into Jasper there, who is taking some time to sort through issues of his own. It's a great story, and it's not going to end the way you think it will, which is part of what makes it so great. It's on my favorites list.
Adrian's POV
This sucked. I mean, royally sucked. And it wasn't just the fact that I couldn't see Ally nearly as much as I wanted to, needed to. And it wasn't just because I haven't got to see Tinker Bells – at all. Hell, I even missed Jasper and Edward! But when you took all of that and added to it suddenly being under the thumb of my head coach and offensive coordinator in this freakin' broom closet that they call a dorm room, it was downright torture. If this Volturi bullshit didn't get sorted out, and quick, I might even be tempted to have Ally change me. Now. Screw the Heisman. It's not like I planned on going to the NFL anymore, not since Ally. I'm already older than her physically, I don't want to go too much longer before the change. And I'm in top physical condition right now, if I do say so myself. The idea of staying this way forever kind of suits me, even if it does mean having to drink deer blood for the rest of my life.
Of course, right now I would prefer shoving toothpicks under my nails to this shit. Curfews. Eating plans. Study sessions. What the hell does any of this have to do with football?! It's not like getting an extra hour of sleep on Wednesday was going to help me throw any better on Saturday. If anything, I was more worried about the game on Saturday now then I ever was at home. Home. Where there was Ally and Bells and sex and Scrabble and all the damn Phish Food I could eat. Not that Ally and I weren't having sex, mind you, but this dorm thing with the thin walls and the resident advisor doing walk-arounds and spot checks was seriously putting a crimp on my mojo. It's not like if we broke the bed here, we could just go buy another one. Damn, I had way too much time to think here.
Just when I thought I was about to go out of my mind, my angel hopped through the window. As I did every night, I ran to her and hugged her tight and just breathed her in. God this sucked. I crave this woman like a drug and I'm going through some serious withdrawals.
"Ally-Angel, I love you so much, you know that, right?" I whispered as I placed dozens of kisses all over her face.
"I do! Almost as much as I love you!" She captured my lips with hers and I cherished the taste of her, the cool feel of her as she kissed me.
"I don't know how much more I can take of this, Ally," I whined as we sat down on the twin size bed with the generic lumpy mattress that I loathed more and more with each passing day.
"I've got an idea I thought might cheer you up. I know I said you had to avoid us on campus, but maybe Edward and Bella could sneak in here, too! Obviously, since you're here, I can't tell if it'll work or not, but it's worth a shot!" Ally could tell just by the way my face lit up that it was just what I needed. I'd even be willing to give up sex to get to see Bells. Well, for one night, anyway.
Ally must have called Edward, because she was doing that irritating thing they do where they talk too fast for anyone else to understand a damn word they were saying, and in a flash she was hanging up.
"Edward thinks it's a great idea! He's going to run it by Bella and if she doesn't mind a piggy back ride up three stories, they'll be here in about half an hour."
"So…think we have time for a quickie?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.
"Baby, with my speed, we have time for two," Ally said before she attacked me.
"Oh, Ally, I like how you think!" I mumbled between kisses and frantic loss of clothing. "Just try not to give me any more friction burns, okay? Four days of putting Neosporin on my junk is not something I care to repeat anytime soon." Ally just laughed as she slithered down my body.
True to their word, 35 minutes and two mind blowing orgasms later (Why did I never let her go down on me before? Was I nuts?!), Edward hopped through my window with Bella hanging tightly on his back just as I was throwing my sweatshirt back on.
"Bells Baby! Get over here!" Bella jumped into my arms and I hugged her tight, kissing her cheek before I sat her back down. "I have missed you so much!" Edward chuckled behind her and I stuck my hand out to shake his. "You too, man. Thanks for bringing Bells over."
"No problem, I was glad to do it. Bella's missed you a lot," Edward said as he rubbed his hand up and down Bella's back. I sneaked her my classic "what the fuck?" look when Edward turned to greet Ally and Bella just shrugged her shoulders at me.
"I texted you a couple of times last week to see how you were feeling after Alice said you caught a cold, but you didn't text me back," I scolded her teasingly.
"Oh, some of those were from you?" Bella said, surprised and sad all at the same time. "I lost my phone, and then when I found it, I just, well, decided to delete them all. I'm sorry. Next time you text me I promise I'll reply." Edward kissed the top of her head and continued rubbing her back. I looked to Alice. I could tell she knew what was going on, but she wasn't spilling the beans.
Edward spoke up. "Bella love, why don't Alice and I take a little stroll so you two can catch up a bit, alright?" Bella nodded her head and Ally gave me a kiss on the cheek before they both disappeared through the window.
"Alright, Tinker Bells, what's going on?"
"Jasper and I broke up," Bella said as she and I sat cross-legged on the bed and leaned up against the wall.
"Yeah, I know, for the Volturi." I hate that word. Miserable, meddling vampires.
"No, Adrian, I mean, we broke up for real." Oh.
"What?! Why?" I immediately started wondering if he'd roofie'd her again. I wasn't kidding about the torchthrower.
"Because I'm screwed up in the head right now, that's why. It seems like all Jasper and I do is fight any more, and he's always so jealous about Edward, which I used to think was totally ridiculous but now I'm not so sure, and then he left me all those nasty voicemails, and…"
"Wait, back up. First off, what do you mean, now you're not so sure?"
"I love Jasper so much, I do. But spending all this time with Edward has just made me realize that I never stopped loving him. And he still loves me, too. Things are different between us now and I can't help but think that this time we really could make it work. You probably think that's terrible of me, right?" Bella was playing with the hem of her shirt, not looking at me.
"Remember, Bells, I'm your friend first and foremost, and I'm not here to judge you. I know that Jasper has screwed up a lot lately, but he is a good guy and he really does love you. On the other hand, Edward loves you, too, so much that he shocks me sometimes. I mean, he studies that guide like it's the freaking Bible, for goodness sakes."
"Guide?" Bella inquired.
"Your diary. I told him you should have named it 'Edward's Guide to Not Being a Complete Tool.' He's even calling it the guide lately." Bella laughed and shook her head at me. "The point is, he's taking that shit seriously, you know? He's redeemed himself in more ways than one. You know, you should consider yourself lucky. Most girls would die to have one rich, gorgeous, really good guy in love with her. You've got two to choose from."
"So why don't I feel lucky? Why do I feel like a total shit who keeps hurting two of the three guys I care about most in this world?" I reminded myself that Bells is my best friend. And you don't lie to your best friend, even if you want to.
"Because you do keep hurting them, Bella. Bear in mind that they let you, of their own free will, and neither of them are innocent of inflicting damage on you, too. But you've got to admit that even though you left Edward for Jasper, you never REALLY left him. You strung him along, keeping him as close to you as you felt you could get away with, safe in the knowledge that there'd never be another girl for him but you. Then at the first sign of another girl showing some interest in him, your little green monster took over. And you can pull that 'it's only because he was my first love' crap on Jasper, but it ain't gonna fly with me, Bells." I said all this in the softest tone possible, hoping Bella would take the words for what they were – words of advice from someone who loves her enough not to sugarcoat it when she screws up.
"So much for not judging me," she grumbled.
I gave her the classic 'don't make me scold you' look and she smirked. "I'm not, Bella. I'm just saying that the first time around, you didn't really have to make a choice. You got to have your cake and eat it too. Jasper gave you all the things Edward wouldn't or couldn't, and you took them gladly, but you never really let him fill the parts Edward already filled for you. You gave Jasper no choice but to share you with Edward, and you gave Edward no choice but to settle for whatever scraps you gave him. It's completely understandable, but it's not fair to them, or to you for that matter. The time has come to finally make a choice, and stick with it. Choose to be with one or the other, and give them your whole heart, or choose to set them both free if you have to, but choose."
"But how? It's almost like asking me whether I want to keep my right arm or my left." Bella pulled her hair in frustration. I hung my head over the side of the bed and grabbed the notebook I'd discarded there earlier. Sitting back up, I turned to the first blank page and drew a big line down the middle of it.
"The same way we chose 'Bama versus Buckeyes. We make a list." Bella looked skeptical but I kept going. "Okay, Team Jasper. Pros…he isn't afraid to touch you, that's kind of a big one." I started to write it down but Bella stopped me.
"Actually…I'm not so sure that would be such an issue with Edward anymore." Bella blushed and put her hair in her face.
"What'dya mean?" This ought to be good.
"Well, last week I kind of had an erotic dream that he mistook for a nightmare and instead of him making me feel better, I kinda… made him feel better."
"In your sleep?!" I asked, incredulous.
"Umm….yeah." Bella was beet red. I burst out laughing, shaking my head.
"Only you, Bells!"
"There's more…last night Edward went out to hunt, so I decided to take care of a little business, you know? I needed the stress relief. But I think he might have heard me, because shortly after I fell asleep, I woke up to hear him in the shower, taking care of a little business of his own."
"No shit! Mr. Prude was jacking off in the shower?"
Bella nodded, giggling under her breath. "And moaning my name!" Sometimes she forgets I'm not a girl the way she spills this shit to me. That's alright, though, 'cause I tell her stuff I wouldn't tell anybody else, either. Mine and Bella's conversations are like a vault. Locked tight.
"Well, damn! Didn't think he had it in him. Okay, so we can't put that on the Team Jasper list. I was going to suggest the motorcycle, but Edward already loosened up on that front, too. Hmmm… he's your boyfriend, you think of something."
"Ex-boyfriend. Right now he's lucky I haven't dubbed him 'The Crazy Ex-Boyfriend.' When I was sick last week I lost my phone, and it was turned off so it wasn't even like I could call it to hear where it was ringing from. When I finally felt up to looking for it, he had left me 27 voicemails, each one worse than the last. There were a ton of text messages, too, but I just asked Edward to delete the whole folder for me, I couldn't read them. That's why I didn't get your messages."
"Shit, Bella, he was probably going crazy out of his head with worry. I would have been freaking out too if my omniscient pixie fiancée hadn't told me you were fine. Have you talked to him about it?"
"No, not yet…Hold your horses, did you just say 'fiancée'?" Bella's eyes flashed to mine, full of excitement.
"Well, kinda, I mean, I haven't bought the ring yet and she wants a real proposal with a real ring, but I asked her and she said yes, so that's solid in my book."
Bella squealed and I squealed back, 'cause I can act like a girl around Bella. Locked tight. "Holy Crow! Congratulations!!!" She jumped over to hug me and I hugged her back.
"Thanks, Bells! Now I just need to think of a great way to propose again."
"Yeah, and with Alice, it's got to be a grand gesture. We should ask Edward, he's really better at this stuff than I am. I mean, look at that England trip he planned for me…That's it!" Bella actually started clapping her hands together. She'd been hanging around Alice too long.
"What is it?"
"England! Alice is every bit as much a Brontë fan as I am. Why don't you take her there at Christmas? It's perfect! I already have two tickets…"
"Bella, you're a genius! But I'm not taking your tickets." The gears in my head started turning, clicking into place.
"I wouldn't miss this trip for the world, especially if you're going to propose there. I wasn't going to give you both of them, just one. Then you only need to buy one ticket."
"No, Bells, I'll pay for both our tickets. You bring someone with yours. I'm not going to just propose there, I'm going to get married there! She'll never see it coming. Will you help me?"
"Sure! But Adrian, like I already told Alice, her idea of a perfect wedding and mine are not necessarily the same." Bella had a point, there. Still, I had to believe that Alice would be thrilled anyway. As long as the dress and the ring were good, the rest wouldn't matter so much. Besides, I wanted Bella to help. Alice said planning the fake wedding was helping to keep her from losing her mind right now. Maybe planning my wedding could do the same for Bella. Alice would understand.
"Don't worry about it, Wedding Bells, I'll take care of all of the fashion stuff, you just get Edward to help you duplicate the arrangements he already made. Then we just need to find a romantic setting and a minister. If she wants a big wedding later, she can use your fake wedding in June! I wouldn't mind marrying her twice. What do you think?"
"I think it's perfect! It is SO romantic! Since we can't see each other, we'll have to coordinate digitally – email, texts, et cetera, but we'll make it work somehow." I could see the wheels turning in Bella's head now, too. Her eyes lit up and sparkled as she thought about what to do.
I didn't want to bring it up, but I had to ask. "So who are you bringing with you? I need to know who my best man is going to be."
"I have no idea. Honestly, I was going to invite Alice, but that's kind of out the window now," Bella looked a little less exuberant then she was a moment before.
"You've got a few months to get your shit sorted out, Bells. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a while to see it." I put my arm around her shoulders and rubbed the top of her head with my knuckles. Bella swatted me off of her and chuckled.
"You're right."
"As for Jasper and the voicemails from hell, you'll see him at the game on Saturday, talk to him then."
"Yeah, about that. I'm thinking I'm skipping the game. I'll watch you on TV; I get to see you better that way anyway," Bella tried the classic 'bite my lip and look cute' approach, which I was not falling for.
"No way, chicken shit. You won't be able to avoid him once the Italian pains-in-the-asses get here. You might as well face him now and get it over with. Miss my game! What the hell is wrong with you, woman! Pssh." This woman has seriously gone insane.
"Okay, okay, already! Forget I suggested it. Geesh." Bella leaned her head on my shoulder and I laid mine on top of hers.
"How did everything get so messed up, Adrian?" Bella asked with a yawn.
"That's life, Bells Baby. You take the good with the bad. Show no pain. Show no fear. Keep moving forward. What else can you do?" She hummed something unintelligible as she started to doze off.
Alice tapped on the glass. I slammed the notebook closed and tossed it back under the bed as she and Edward climbed through the window.
"You guys have a nice visit?" she asked sweetly, flopping gracefully down on the floor across from us. Edward chose to lean up against the wall, arms and ankles crossed, James Dean style. Maybe it's just because I know what he's been up to, but he suddenly seems like he's got...swagger.
"Yes, we did, but I think it's time you take Sleepy Bells here home. She's conking out." I slapped her knee a couple of times and Bella pushed my hand away, muttering something remotely sounding like 'leave me alone,' but I couldn't be certain.
Edward scooped her up in his arms and Alice held the window open for him as he jumped out before turning back to me. "Now, where did we leave off?" Good thing I'm stocked up on Neosporin.
A/N: Next chapter...enter the Volturi. The Cullendales Spectacular is making a few stops in Canada, starting with Toronto. They're taking over Casa Loma. Each room has a different Naked Cullen Boy for your viewing pleasure...all you have to do to get your ticket is review!
