The Claudia Zacchara Collective

Vixenella, canon

November 2008

Rated PG

Claudia couldn't help but smirk when she walked onto The Haunted Star. The motley bunch gathered there looked less than thrilled to see her. But what could she expect? Other than her beloved brother, she only had one friend in this whole town and that was Damian Spinelli. Everyone else saw her as a pariah. She gave the room a snarky little wave, playing up her role to the hilt, and then said hello to Spinelli.

He stood in front of the bar, next to what looked like a covered art exhibit: a white sheet draped over a large canvas board. Sonny was sitting on a stool, nursing soda water and looking pissed off, while Carly and Jason stood off to the side, with their bodies angled toward each other as they spoke in hushed tones. Maxie, in one of her junior executive wannabe dresses, was next to Lulu, who sported jeans and a PCU t-shirt.

Sonny broke the silence. "She's here. Can we do this now or what?"

Spinelli smiled, waving his arms around, and said "Now that we are all in residence, such as it may be, I shall reveal to you the motive behind my calling you all to this vessel of chance, this maiden of intrigue, this floating harbinger of hopes and dreams and fortunes and tragedies-"

"Get on with it!" Sonny told him.

Claudia gave him a hard look. "Hey, chill, all right. Let him talk."

"You call that talking?" Sonny asked

Maxie glared at Sonny, as if he was a bug under her high heel. "Leave him alone. Just because he is genius and you are jealous-"

"Jealous? Are you freaking kidding me? Jealous. Yeah, right" Sonny said.

Maxie went on as if he hadn't spoken "-doesn't mean you get to take it out on Spinelli."

"The Jackal is honored that the Fair Maximista would stick up for me in a such a bold and frank manner but Mr. Sir has nothing to be jealous of The Jackal over. We all are the possessors of our own unique skill sets of strength and weakness that makes us each in our own manner and time kings and queens, prince and princesses, the rulers and the servants of our own destinies. Mr. Sir has his own ways to be glorious that might not require...as much...shall I say...cranial fortitude as the pursuits of The Jackal but that doesn't necessarily indicate that -"

"I'm out of here!" Sonny said. "He's just babbling again now."

"No, no, no," Spinelli cried, throwing his hands out. "Do not depart so hastily. You have not even seen the creation for which I asked you here to observe."

"Go ahead," Jason told Spinelli.

Sonny sat back down.

Spinelli said "Well this day has been a long time in the making, and has been challenged by many obstacles, sometimes seeming insurmountable, but The Jackal preserved and I owe my ability to rise again and again, after being trampled down and even facing disasters like a virus taking over my beloved laptop and coming down with a near killer virus of the human sort...to all of you. For each one of you, in your own way, have taught me how to become a stronger Jackal, a warrior in my own private crusade. And for that The Jackal bids you a hearty thanks and my unabiding gratitude!!"

He bowed. Then he held out a hand toward Lulu. "My Blonde One, it was you that first endeavored to include The Jackal into your personal circle of trust and you Vixenellla...you saved The Jackal's pride first, by rescuing me from a night spent on the docks in a drunken haze caused by the grapes of the Gods, and then you, along with Stone Cold, saved The Jackal's very life when you rushed me to the hospital. Without your kindness, there would be no Jackal. I must also not forget The Valkryie, who has lost so much in such a short time but still carries on with grace-"

"Thank you, Damian, that's sweet of you to say but we all know that I've had my bad moments, too, lately" Carly said.

"You have made The Jackal feel like one of the family, which brings me to Stone-"

"Is he gonna do every one of us?" Sonny asked. "Seriously, we know! Jason was good to you. Maxie's...great, whatever. She takes pity on you. Dresses you better. And I'm Mr. Sir Corinthos Sir whatever, whatever, whatever. Either tell us why we are here or let's call this a day."

"Man," Claudia said "why are you so rude? He doesn't deserve to be spoken to that way. You get off on picking on people smaller than you? You want to take on someone...you take on me."

"I already did and it left a bad taste in my mouth," Sonny said. " I'm not looking to ever touch you again."

"The feeling's mutual," Claudia said.

"You rolling around in the sheets with this freaky boy now...kinky...that your thing?"

"Mr. Sir! I can not allow you to disparage Vixenella's good name in such a discourteous manner."

"You're really gross, Sonny," Maxie said. "Do you kiss Kate with that filthy mouth? You're the sick freak, you ask me."

"Watch it, Maxie," Lulu warned. "Why don't you think first and talk never? Kate wouldn't appreciate you talking about her fiancee that way."

"You stick up for Sonny and not Spinelli," Maxie complained. "Typical of you. Little Lost Lulu, what's your latest problem? Can't figure out who to love and who to crush this week? Don't tell me you think Sonny is more worthy of your affections that Spinelli?"

"I didn't say anything like that," Lulu protested. "Spinelli knows how I feel about him."

"That he's your house pet?" Maxie asked "Yes, he knows."

"Hey!" Claudia said to them. "You wanna take your little girl fight somewhere else or shut the hell up? Spinelli was trying to show up all something."

"I'll talk when I want to," Lulu said.

"Mouthing off to me is a good way to get knocked into next week," Claudia told her.

Carly headed across the room toward Claudia. "You low class bitch, don't you talk to my cousin that way! I'll rip every strand of witch black hair out of your head and then strangle you with it if you ever dare to say such crap to anyone in my family again, you got me?"

"You think you got the goods to do it?" Claudia said, while making a come here motion with both hands. "Then bring it on."

"I've had enough of you," Carly said .

"Carly!" Jason went to grab her and stop her from knocking down Claudia but in the melee Spinelli's board was knocked over.

Sonny looked down at the picture that was now uncovered and cried out "What the hell?"

Jason picked up Carly around her waist and carried her away from Claudia as she screamed at her all the things she planned to do to her one day- starting with wiping the snarky grin off her mouth.

"I'm right here!" Claudia said "Anytime you're woman enough to try."

"Shut up already," Jason told Claudia.

Sonny was now off his feet and over at the poster board. He picked it up. "What's this garbage? Jason...what is this? What's this freak boy up to now?"

Spinelli threw his hands out in front of him. "Careful, careful...that will surely be a collector's item one day and fetch a pretty penny for it is the first mock- up of the cover of the soon- to- be famous...da, da, da, dum,... Port Wars!"

Sonny looked liked he was ready to shoot someone. "What in the frig is Port Wars? And don't start all that babbling, just say it clear...what is this?"

On the board was a picture of cartoon version of Sonny, in the middle, with Jason and Carly to one side of him and Maxie and Lulu to the other. Claudia was in front of all of them, in a stunning red leather cat suit and red heels, with a gun pointing straight outward.

Spinelli said "It's a multiple person, interactive, simulation of a fictional universe where a user can choose to assume the persona of either Stone Cold, The Maximista, The Blonde One, The Valkryie, Vixenella or The Dark Don."

Maxie squealed "Cute! It's a video game."

"You made another one?" Lulu asked. "That's great, Spinelli."

"Wow, I look hot," Claudia said. "I'm gonna love being the stuff of little boy's fantasies all over the world."

"All over the...what?" Sonny asked "Oh, no...no way in hell. This isn't being seen anywhere." He broke the poster in half, causing Spinelli to cry out in anguish.