Hello! I know I've been MIA for ages and I currently have exams and grad school and all sorts of awful real life things, but I miss this story and thought I'd give you a small-ish chapter to tide you over until I get back into the flow of things! I haven't forgotten this story, I promise x
Something landed on Kai's chest, waking him up with a start. The ceiling directly in his line of sight wasn't the familiar roof of Tyson's dojo, and that disoriented him for a few seconds until he remembered where he was. His eyes adjusted to the soft lighting of the room and he groaned quietly, realising he had probably slept longer than he'd wanted to. Why hadn't Anastasia woken him up, like she'd said she would?
A quiet sigh sounded from near his head, and the pillow he was resting his head on shifted. Suddenly remembering exactly where he'd fallen asleep, Kai winced and sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing over his shoulder. Anastasia hadn't moved from her position on the sofa, where she'd been sitting and watching TV on mute when Kai had fallen asleep. The TV was still on, and she was still facing it, but her eyes were now closed and her mouth was slightly open, her breathing even and peaceful. Her head was leaning against her left hand, while her right hand dangled at her side. Her cell phone had probably fallen out of that hand, landed on his chest and then slipped onto the carpet with a dull thud. Fortunately it had made no other sound, but even if it had Kai doubted it would have made a difference. Despite the weight that had moved off her lap when he'd sat up, Anastasia was still fast asleep.
Kai debated leaving her where she was for exactly three seconds before he muttered to himself in annoyance, standing up and giving himself a moment to make sure he wasn't about to fall down or pass out. When he was sure, he gently slipped an arm behind Anastasia's back, angling his shoulder so her head could rest on it before steadying the backs of her legs with his other arm and lifting her off the sofa easily. She didn't stir, which he took as another sign that he should let her sleep. The door to his bedroom was open, and he tried not to focus on how helplessly weird he felt carrying his girlfriend into his bedroom and laying her down on his bed, but then not getting in it himself.
Anastasia was a heavy sleeper, but Kai left the door open slightly on his way out, knowing she'd be confused when she woke up. He switched the TV off in the living-room and reached for the half-empty bottle of Vodka, hesitating for only a moment before taking a swig. The alcohol burned his throat, but he continued to drink and welcomed the familiar buzz that began to take over his brain. He hadn't needed it when Anastasia was standing next to him, offering comfort without even realising how much she was helping. But now, without her next to him, he suddenly felt the overwhelming need to do something, anything, to keep away the onslaught of emotions that were threatening to take over. He could never be in this apartment completely sober, he had accepted that years ago. He just hadn't actively started drinking to force himself to stay until two birthdays ago.
Kai didn't know how much time had passed, but he had to stop drinking when he saw that the bottle was much closer to emptying than it had been when he'd started. Anastasia would notice, and then she'd ask questions that she wouldn't like the answers to. Because he would still answer her, of course. He was done keeping secrets from her. Groaning, he was set the bottle back onto the table and was debating on what to do next when Anastasia's phone started ringing. He didn't have to look at the screen to know who was calling.
"What?" he grunted.
"I'm just checking in," said Tala defensively. "So, you called her?"
"Obviously."
"Is she with you right now?"
"She fell asleep."
"Is she in your room? Damn, even I haven't seen that."
Kai rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Tala?"
"What happened when she came over?" he asked. "Didn't she have questions? I mean, I have questions."
Sighing, Kai related a short-hand version of the events over the past few hours, trying to ignore the smugness that he could practically hear emitting off Tala through the phone. When he was done, Tala let out a low whistle. "Dude, you are so whipped."
Kai didn't even try to deny it. "I know."
"I wish Anna had heard that," Tala laughed. "Seriously, man, I know you don't want to talk about it, but have you thought about what it'll be like when she leaves? You're going to keep having bad days, and she won't be across town next time you do."
"What am I supposed to do?" demanded Kai. "You want me to end it?"
"Are you crazy?" Tala sounded horrified. "You know how much easier you are to be around when you're with her? Hell, I say marry the girl, do it tomorrow for all I care. But you gotta talk to her about it, dude. She's thinking about it more than you realise, I can promise you that."
Kai narrowed his eyes. "What do you know, Tala? What did Alice say?"
Tala ignored his questions. "Talk to her," he stressed. "And tell her I said to make sure you come to the party tomorrow night. I don't care how tired you both are, you can't miss it."
Of course, Tala would be more concerned about the party Kai had no interest in than anything else. Kai didn't even get a chance to retort, because Tala had already hung up and he could suddenly hear movement from the only other occupied room in the apartment. Abandoning the phone, he returned to the doorway and peered inside his bedroom to see that Anastasia was now sitting up, running a hand through her hair and looking around in confusion.
"Hey," he said quietly, trying not to startle her.
Anastasia jumped, but smiled tiredly when she spotted him. "Hey back," she stretched her arms up and then collapsed back against the pillows. "God, your bed is incredible," she sighed. "Why would you sleep outside when you had this?"
"You told me to," said Kai. He pushed himself off the doorway and entered the room, hovering at the opposite edge of the bed. "Did I wake you up?"
"I heard you talking, but I think I was already awake anyway," yawned Anastasia. "Who were you on the phone with?"
"Tala."
Anastasia hummed in response, turning onto her side and raising an eyebrow at him. "Is there a reason you're standing all the way over there?" she asked pointedly, gesturing to the width of the bed that was separating them.
Kai didn't move, very aware of the alcohol on his breath that she would smell in a second. "You said you didn't want to sleep."
"I don't, but a bed can be used for more than just sleeping," she teased. Kai grunted, which made Anastasia laugh. "Are you shy?"
Kai rolled his eyes. "Of what? You?"
Anastasia didn't answer, but reached across the empty bed to grasp Kai's hand. Giving up, he let her pull him down next to her and lay on his back. She rolled her eyes and nudged his arm until she was curled up against his side. Kai grunted in pretend-annoyance, which she saw through immediately because she burst into laughter.
Kai rolled his eyes. Her laugh was cute, but not when she was laughing at him. "What's so funny?"
"Sorry," she said in between giggles. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise."
Kai sighed. "Then what?"
Anastasia swallowed the rest of her laughter, but Kai could still hear the smile in her voice. "You've fallen asleep in my bed, you know."
Kai's lips twitched, remembering the last time that had happened. "I know."
"With me right next to you."
"Hmm."
"And yet when I'm in your apartment alone and I fall asleep,you carry me to your room and go sit on the couch."
Kai raised an eyebrow and turned to look at her. "You're complaining?"
"Usually I wouldn't, but maybe right now I am," she turned so she was lying on her stomach, and Kai tilted his head so he could catch her eye. She was smirking. "You know, it was really cute how you wanted to see me today."
Kai snorted. "It was pathetic, not cute."
"Don't say that," she chastised. "Have you considered that the real reason you missed me today is because you knew I could help?"
Kai frowned. "I didn't call you here just so you could become my therapist, Anna."
"Oh, I know that," she waved a hand dismissively. "I just think that you knew, deep down, that I could help you. I know Tala knows, kind of, what you do on your birthday, and your team knows you go missing, but I'm the only person you've ever willingly told about this. And think about it," she tapped her finger against her chin thoughtfully. "We're both orphans. Your parents clearly loved you very much, but you were raised by psychopaths who had very little to do with any of your good qualities. My parents didn't do much raising at all. If you think about it, I'm one of the few people you know who could probably understand you right now."
"Maybe," said Kai reluctantly. "I still don't think –"
"I'm not saying the only reason you're attracted to me is because we're both damaged goods," Anastasia rolled her eyes. "I'm just saying we have more in common than we thought, and I think you missed me today because you finally found someone who could understand what you were going through, and you wanted me around you. Also, I don't ask you a lot of questions anymore," she added. "I know that makes me, like, one hundred times more attractive in your eyes."
Anastasia giggled at her own joke, but Kai wasn't laughing. Mostly because he knew she wasn't actually joking, and something twisted in his insides when he realised she genuinely thought he found some aspects of her personality annoying. Which was stupid, because even when she was trying to annoy him all he wanted was to push her against the wall and kiss her senseless so she couldn't see how much he wanted to smile.
"Hey!" Anastasia tapped his cheek, drawing him out of his thoughts. He realised he'd been staring at her, and she was now frowning in concern. Even the stupid crease between her eyebrows was cute. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said dismissively. Sneakily, he slipped an arm under her back and pulled her closer, smirking at her look of confusion. "You said you didn't like how far away I was," he reminded her.
"Well, yeah –" she began, but Kai cut her off with a kiss, nudging her onto her back and hovering over her body. Carefully, he braced an arm next to her head, using his free hand to hike her leg over his hip, rubbing circles onto her knee. Anastasia wound her arms around his neck, her nails scratching his scalp in that way she knewhe liked, and Kai tried not to groan at just how good it felt. In the back of his mind, he wondered how he'd gone practically an entire day without kissing her. She tasted like chocolate and smelled like strawberries, and he almost hated how addicted he was to that combination now. Almost, because the sounds Anastasia made when he kissed a trail down from her jaw to her collarbone, and then back up again, made up for it.
At some point, Anastasia had managed to push him onto his back, and Kai let her control the kiss because she was breathless and warm, and feeling the weight of her body on top of his made adrenaline course through his veins. When his fingers grazed the sliver of skin peeking out from where her shirt had ridden up, she didn't even flinch; Kai took it one step further and slipped a hand under her tank top. Her skin was warm and smooth, and he didn't try to control the sound of appreciation that came from his throat as he ran his hands up and down her back. Anastasia's self-control wasn't as honed as his: every time he pulled his mouth away to kiss any expanse of skin he could reach, she whispered his name breathlessly; and when he pressed on the small of her back to pull her closer, he practically felt her melt against him. If she could feel him smirking against her mouth at that, she didn't say anything. One of her hands trailed down from his hair to his waist, but then suddenly she was tugging at his shirt as her hands roamed across his chest, and Kai froze.
Anastasia didn't realise he had completely stilled under her until her teeth accidentally grazed his lower lip too hard, and she immediately pulled back. "Sorry!" she squeaked, but Kai still hadn't moved. It took a few more seconds for her to notice, and then she frowned. "What is it?" she asked, the confusion in her voice obvious. "Did I do something wrong?"
Kai forced himself out of his daze at the sound of her voice, and the hesitance in it. Slowly, he rolled them both over onto their sides, keeping an arm behind Anastasia's back to show her, without speaking, that he didn't want her to move. With his free hand, he gently grasped both of her wrists and pulled them away from his chest, trying to maintain eye contact even though he wanted nothing more than to look away. Anastasia was watching him carefully, realisation dawning in her eyes as he rubbed her knuckles with his thumbs.
"Remember what happened the last time you took my shirt off?" asked Kai, trying to inject some humour into the tense silence.
Her eyes widened even more. Kai braced himself for her reaction, which would doubtlessly be to coax him to talk more and explain his feelings, but he should have known Anastasia never did what he expected. She didn't get the all-too-familiar look of pity and wariness in her eyes, as countless other people did if he ever let them see his scarred back. Instead, she buried her face into his chest. "Oh God," she groaned. "I cannot believe you remember that!"
"It's hard to forget."
"Kai, I am so sorry for the way I reacted! I'm surprised you even kissed me after that, you probably thought I was such an insensitive child."
"I didn't think that," Kai tried not to laugh at how genuinely upset she sounded. "It's fine, Anna."
"It's not," she whined. "Now you won't even take your shirt off because I've made you all uncomfortable! I am such a terrible girlfriend!"
"You haven't done anything wrong and you're not terrible," Kai reassured her. He was trying not to laugh, but he was sure Anastasia could hear how amused he was. He pushed her away from where she'd hidden her face against his chest and flicked her nose teasingly. "Calm down, beautiful."
Immediately, Anastasia glanced up at him with narrowed eyes, which confused Kai until she asked, "Were you drinking last night when I texted you?"
Kai was taken aback, but she didn't look upset anymore, so he shrugged. "Probably. Why?"
"Ugh. Well, that explains it."
"What?"
"You're only sweet to me when you're drunk," she pouted.
Kai grunted out a laugh. "What did I say?"
"You kept calling me beautiful, and you said it just now too," Anastasia sighed. "Maybe I should make you start your day with a shot."
"If only," he muttered, which made her giggle. Smiling, he kissed her forehead. "It's not about you," he mumbled against her skin. "I promise."
Anastasia sighed. "Okay. But would you tell me, if it was?"
"Yes," said Kai firmly. Anastasia gave him a sceptical look, and he shook his head. "I'm done keeping secrets from you. I just – don't want to anymore."
"I guess I can live with that," she finally extracted one of her hands from his grip and tangled her fingers into his hair. Kai felt her thumb begin to massage his temple, and his eyes shut at the feeling. Her warm breath brushed against his neck when she spoke next. "But you know I don't care, right?"
"Hmm?" he was barely listening.
"About the scars," she clarified. Kai didn't open his eyes, but raised an eyebrow asking for an explanation. She huffed. "I couldn't care less what your body looks like, Kai. You're gorgeous, but that's not why I like you."
He smirked. "Really?"
"Ugh, you suck," she kissed his cheek and rolled him over onto his back, both her hands now massaging his head soothingly. "I can't wait for you to have a killer hangover tomorrow, you taste like stupid, expensive vodka."
Kai snorted, but he could feel himself falling asleep. It was surprising, because he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept for more than a few hours in a night. "You love it."
"Not really," said Anastasia. "But for you, I'll take it."
Kai wasn't sure if he'd imagined the last part of her sentence or not.
