Warning, this chapter is really long wow. My lil fingers are bleeding from this one. Forget about me, though, the chapter is ready! I'll let you get started.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
"It's ready."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Alright, then. Let's crack on with it."
"We still need the bits."
"Oh."
The stench of the boiling cauldron brought tears to my eyes. Not to mention the sweat pouring off my forehead from the steam. Potion making is hardly ever pretty. Remus's face shined to a lesser extent, but then again he hadn't been in here all day. And every day for a month before this.
"How are we going to get pieces of Malfoy and Black?" he asked, wiping a droplet from his brow.
"We're going to have to be careful."
He puffed air from his nose. "Why is everything so difficult."
"Welcome to Hogwarts, may I take your luggage?"
"Ha ha." He pushed my arm playfully.
"Ugh, not in here. It's too stuffy."
"Remind me, why we're doing this in a toilet?"
"No one uses this toilet."
One of the huge bubbles popped, releasing a puff of fowl air.
"Okay, I've had enough." Remus barged out of the stall with me on his heels as fast as the space would allow. Cool, fresh air hit my face. I inhaled deeply. Okay, maybe it wasn't so fresh. We were in a lavatory.
"How do you reckon we go about this?"
"Well," I said, drawing out the single syllable as long as possible, "what if we…stupefy…them?"
He laughed in my face. "No. We can't do that."
"Then what are we supposed to do?"
His hand ran through his hair and sighed. "I don't know."
"So…"
More running through of hair, deeper sighs. Both of his hands ended up on the top of his head. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess we're stupefying them."
Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop.
"Is that her?" Remus whispered from the steps of the first floor.
"Who else could it be? Her heels are the size of the Astronomy Tower!"
"I just want to be sure."
The clinking of her heels reverberated closer and closer. I took a deep breath. I'd never stupefied a real person before. Only those dummies in Defense Against the Dark Arts. There's nothing like practical application, right?
"Stupefy!"
Thunk.
"She's down!" Remus yell-whispered. "Quick, before someone sees her."
We hurried up from our hiding spot, checking our surroundings for any onlookers. Luckily, no one was to be seen. We'd chosen the perfect time to execute our plan: right at lunchtime. Practically everyone was eating in the Great Hall.
"Put her with Malfoy," I said to Remus as I grabbed Narcissa Black underneath her arms. He lifted up her feet, propping the closet door open with his own foot.
"She's heavier than she looks," he grunted.
"Oh, shut up. You've only got the feet! Her head's massive."
With much groaning, we shuffled Narcissa into the snug storage closet. Barely making sure her whole body fit, we dropped her—quite literally—next to Lucius Malfoy. Remus and I stared at our handiwork dumbly. They leaned on each other in awkward positions, almost like ragdolls except their limbs gave no slack. If I kept focused on it long enough, I'm sure I would have laughed for years. Knowing I didn't have years to kill, I knelt down in front of them.
"You aren't going to get a nose hair or something, right?" Remus asked. I peered over my shoulder at him. He looked disgusted. I contemplated taking a nose hair just for the hell of it. I'm too nice. I moved out of the way to give him a clear view of Lucius and plucked a long white hair from his head.
"See? No nose hair."
He nodded resolutely. I chuckled as I pulled one of Narcissa's equally white hairs.
"Let's go."
We left the closet and locked the door to imprison our victims securely. Quickly, we entered the bathroom. Clever of us to target them on the same floor that our potion was brewing, if I do say so myself. It's pure luck that such a wonderful hiding spot resided next door.
"Okay, you got your cup?" I said to Remus. He hung back, second guessing his choice in female companions. "C'mon lad, perk up. You've got to be snooty in a minute here, so get your game face on."
"Yes, I've got it."
"Excellent."
I took a deep breath, picked up my cup by the sink, opened the bathroom stall, and held in my air. The stagnant fumes rushed through the door, blowing my hair back and making my eyes water.
"Oh, Merlin!"
"You should have held your breath, silly."
"Whatever, let's get this over with."
Taking the spoon from the cauldron, I scooped generous amounts of Polyjuice Potion into each of our cups. It was more like mud than a drinkable substance. My stomach curdled at the sight of it. I placed each of the hairs in. Narcissa's in mine, Lucius's in Remus's. The potion in the cups fizzed and bubbled according to the hairs' genetic designs. Mine turned a deep red similar to blood. Remus was less fortunate, as his turned a spewish green color. Puke-like. Yuck.
"How come mine's grosser than yours?" he asked, with a continuous look of disgust carried over from earlier.
"Lucius must be grosser than Narcissa. Anyway, we don't have time to stand around anymore." I saluted my glass to him. "Bottoms up."
Without giving myself time to worry about the stench, the blobby liquid slithered down my throat. Smacking my lips, the taste intensified with every second. My entire mouth puckered involuntarily.
"You really pounded that down. What's she taste like?"
I shook my head to get rid of the unpleasantness radiating through my throat.
"Sour," I grunted. "Your go."
"Do I have—"
"Yes."
One large sigh followed. He whimpered before downing the whole thing in one go. The moment it finished, he put his hand to his mouth to keep in the sick, presumably. As he tried to keep the concoction in his stomach, mine started lurching and gurgling. My limbs began to tingle. I brought my hand to my face; my skin rippled all over. My neatly cut nails grew long as the meat around my fingers tightened, extending far longer than my own. The clothes around me loosened. I'd completely forgotten to take their robes. Oh, well. No time for that now.
The gurgling within me finally ceased, leaving me shaky everywhere. I put a hand on my face and instantly recoiled. The skin beneath these strange fingertips felt cold and tight. Much unlike my warm, arguably chubby cheeks.
"Remus?" I said. I gasped immediately after the unfamiliar tone left my lips. This is so freaking trippy.
"Arrgh," he moaned, also in a voice that wasn't his. He appeared from behind a stall door. Well, Lucius Malfoy appeared from behind a stall door. That definitely wasn't Remus. Thank Merlin.
His body didn't fit with his clothes in the slightest. Lucius's white mane of well-kept hair made Remus's slightly tattered attire seem like rags. More muscular than my lean wolf boy, Lucius's frame used the fabric's slack to its wit's end. The belt around his waist could snap at any moment.
"Darling, this is weird," he said. "I don't like this."
"It's not exactly my favorite activity either, but we've got to do it. For the greater good."
He rolled his eyes playfully, but it came across malicious with Lucius's face. "Curse me and my good ideas."
I giggled. That was tough. She must not laugh a lot. The sound got caught in my throat.
"We've only got an hour or so. We'd better get a move on. And take off that belt. It's about to break."
"Right," he said with a nod, fumbling with the strap. As soon as the strip of leather left his body, he let out a gigantic sigh. "Wow, that feels so much better."
We arrived at the dungeons faster than you could say Quidditch. Too bad we had no clue where the Slytherin's common room was.
"We really should have planned more," I whispered to Remus as we stumbled around in the depths of the castle. "We have no clue where we're going."
"Look, there's some Slytherins over there. We'll follow them."
Two boys talking loudly about their amount of homework rounded the corner. We hastily stepped behind them.
"We look ridiculous. No one's gonna believe we're Malfoy and Black. They are literally the most posh idiots in Hogwarts," I whispered. "What are we going to tell people?"
"Our laundry got mixed up with someone else's?"
I pursed my lips. Not an ideal cover story, seeing as that never happened to anyone at Hogwarts ever, but it would have to do.
"Fine. Stick to that."
The boys stopped at a bare wall of brick. Remus and I halted a few paces back.
"Anguem," one of them said. The bricks opened like a book waiting to be read, revealing the Slytherin common room. Remus raised his eyebrows. I shrugged. That kid could have just called the wall a beaver and I we'd be none the wiser. I made a mental note to look it up when this was all over.
Practically as soon as we got in, a girl in all black called from across the room.
"Cissy! Where have you been?" she snapped. "And why are you in those horrible robes?"
I nearly forgot that I was 'Cissy.'
"Uh, the laundry. It got mixed up," I said unconvincingly. Shit, I've already blown our cover.
"Really?" she replied. I thought for a moment she'd question further, but instead she pulled a face. "Those idiotic elves! Can't do anything right. Come, sit, Cissy. And you too, Lucius."
Tentatively, we travelled over to the intimidating group of upperclassmen sitting by the girl in black. It was then I realized the girl in question was Bellatrix Black, Narcissa's sister. This would not end well. If there was anyone to unveil us, it would be her. I glanced around at the vultures circled in a vicious ring of despair. I couldn't pick out any familiar faces. Until I reached the end of the line. Sitting prettily in a regal armchair sat our target: Regulus. One could tell that he wanted the whole room to think him a king. Getting information out of him in this state would either be very easy or extremely difficult. No matter which way the situation fell, we needed to see this mission through.
"You've chosen the perfect time to enter the conversation," Bellatrix said. "We were just about to discuss the plague of our family name."
The group laughed in unison. Shivers erupted on the back of my neck. I smiled along sheepishly. Remus, the braver of us, boomed with them. Is he mad? He's sure to get us caught!
"Poor Reggie," Bellatrix continued. "He's got the imbecile as a brother!"
She cackled. That really made my skin crawl. The sound wretched itself into my eardrums, tearing them to miniscule pieces. How in the hell did Narcissa put up with her?
"What can I say?" Regulus replied. "There's always one in the family."
Another round of snickers. I felt Remus tense beside me. He knew as well as I did that they were referring to Sirius. I ran on sheer faith and hope that Remus would control himself if they got too abusive.
"Lucius, you look off," Regulus said in his regally bored tone. "Lunch not sitting well with you?"
"No," he replied snappily. I nearly slapped him.
Regulus gave him an odd look, then shrugged him off. Bellatrix began speaking again. Her voice pushed itself into my head despite my greatest effort to focus on Regulus.
"Tell us more about your task, Regulus. I—we have been absolutely itching to hear!"
He smirked, clearly enjoying the attention. "I'm sure you have. It's all rather exciting."
What an idiot. He's playing coy! Remus coughed beside me. I turned to him. He shot his eyes to my hand. I followed his gaze. I almost jumped, but held myself down. My fingernails were shorter. I had to speed this along.
"Remind me again why you're doing this, Regulus," I said too quickly. I cleared my throat, and slowed down. "I'm afraid it's slipped my mind."
The entirety of the circle glared at me. Touchy.
"Cissy what's gotten into you?" Bellatrix whispered to me forcefully.
I gulped. My ability to think on my feet vanished. "I'm just so turned around from those stupid house elves! I've been thinking of little else and can't seem to regain my footing."
I iced over any compassion that could have shown as weakness by our company with an upturn of my nose. I curdled my own stomach with that move.
"You and your clothes, Cissy," Bellatrix scoffed. Phew, close call.
She turned to Regulus. "Better retell it, Reggie. Humor her, you know." She smiled wickedly when she turned to me again.
Apparently Narcissa phased out a lot, huh? That's what Bellatrix and Regulus's expressions revealed. Eye rolls abound.
"The rings currently in my possession are our leader's key to power. That nosy girl relinquished them to me. It was child's play to charm her."
His stupid smirk was vile. Him charm me? Bah! I recall it being the other way around….
"Tell me more about him, Reggie," Bellatrix cooed. "I must know all of his secrets."
Regulus shot her a pointed glare. "No one knows of the Dark Lord's secrets. Not even I know what he desires with the rings. One can only assume they are the answer to the most dangerous question."
I struggled to keep my face cold, but I wasn't expecting such a hard blow. The Dark Lord? This is some serious shit. I didn't dare look at Remus, for if I did, I'd surely give us away.
Bellatrix retreated further into her chair, yet I could tell she wasn't done. She had a fight in her still. Her lips twitched with the weight of a retort waiting to be spoken. Looking again to my own hand, I noted the devolving of the Polyjuice Potion's effect. The long, skeletal fingers no more existed. I quickly tucked my hands under my legs. Remus had his hands in his pockets, no doubt holding up the beltless trousers that fit a moment ago.
"And what would that question be?" Bellatrix said with venom. Oh, Regulus must have tugged a nerve. I would prefer them disclose more information than they were, but this was entertaining at least.
"You know perfectly well, Bella, that I'm not at liberty to say."
"'Not at liberty to say!'" she mocked. "That's your excuse for everything! I'm beginning to think this entire plan is imaginary!"
Uh, oh. Trouble in paradise. Time for Remus and I to make ourselves scarce.
"Have you not come to the conclusion that the Dark Lord wishes to remain as inconspicuous as possible? Or perhaps that you are not on his list of priorities? Do not question his intent just because he hasn't chosen you to carry out his will. I was chosen. Not you."
A rare silence fell over the group. Bellatrix seethed in her chair. Alright, it's really time to go now. Not only because the tension was thicker than blood pudding, but I felt a worrying churn in my stomach. A tug on my sleeve told me Remus was feeling the same. From the corner of my eye, I could see the roots of his white hair turning brown as it receded into his scalp.
"Uh," I started, standing up in the awkward tenseness. I realize I only made it more awkward, but that's just how I am. When it rains, it pours.
"We have to go." I pulled Remus up by his collar. "Now."
Lucius's clean complexion began to show Remus's scars. His gray eyes became lily pads once more.
"Why?" asked Bellatrix not too kindly.
"Our robes should be done by now," Remus said. His voice was losing its posh timbre. The grizzle from exhaustion came back full force. He cleared his throat.
"Can't they bring them here? We're in the middle of something important!" Bellatrix pushed.
"No, sorry," I said. "Strict instructions for us to…go there. Very important, mustn't be late. Wouldn't want them to detain our things."
"Surely you can go upstairs and change," Regulus said with squinted eyes. He was onto us. "Your parents will buy you new clothes and get those elves released from duty."
"I would hate for them to go without a job," Remus said, then immediately after his eyes bulged. He knew, I knew, everyone knew. Lucius literally could not care less about house elves. That was it. Time to go. I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind me. Practically running across the common room, the group of Slytherins stirred, getting out of their seats to follow.
"Shit," I uttered as we left hurriedly. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck."
"Darling," Remus interrupted. "Your hair."
I reached for my scalp, but didn't need to get there to feel the change. The smooth white strands curled at my touch. I brought a clump to my face. Red.
The wall closed behind us, but don't think that meant we didn't haul arse to get the hell away from there. We ran. Fast. We heard Bellatrix's screechy voice in the distance.
"It's that stupid girl and her pet!"
If it were possible for us to run faster, we would have. Remus struggled to keep up because of his trousers. I wanted to look back, but feared the group of Slytherins were closer than I thought. The plop of fabric hitting the floor made me jump. Remus met me at my side. Our hands found each other as we ascended from the dungeons. Every corner surprised us. Students stared at us strangely, some pointed and laughed. None of it mattered. Our goal was to get as lost in the castle as possible. Easy when there are so many floors. Seven is where we ended up, next to a tapestry with dancing trolls on it. We skidded to a halt.
"Are they gone?" I panted, holding my sides.
Remus poked his head out from behind the corner, gasping more than I was. He nodded.
"Yeah. Gone."
I took a deep breath and put my hands on my head. I let it out slowly, then started pacing.
"I can't believe this."
"I know. Those were my favorite trousers."
"What?" I stopped to look up at him. "Oh."
In front of me Remus stood with a dumb grin on his face with no trousers. The boy lost his pants. Brilliant.
"I—"
"Bit chilly, eh?" he said, followed by a chuckle. He bit his lip to keep it in.
I started pacing again, snickering like a madwoman. If my sides didn't hurt so bad I would have laughed harder. How did I end up with him as a partner? I must have done something great.
On my third pace, a door materialized from the brick. I stared at it with my jaw on the floor. Remus came to my side.
"What just happened?" he asked in awe.
"I have no clue."
"Should we go in?"
"Um."
He raised his eyebrows. I smiled.
"Yes."
He reached for the brass handle, and turned it. The mahogany entrance opened breathtakingly. It practically floated. Inside rows and rows of trousers lined the walls for miles back. Brown trousers, black trousers, dress pants, jeans, khakis. You name a trouser, they were in there. Remus and I, dumbfounded, stepped in.
"Lots of pants," he said.
"Yep."
"I'm gonna take some."
"Yep."
And he did. He put on a pair that matched his old ones. Then we left. Like a weird pipe dream. If nothing else goes well, at least we'll have the time a room provided Remus with trousers. You can't get much weirder than that. Still, the image of Regulus's smug face burned beneath my eyelids. Whatever he had planned was much bigger than we originally thought. This was only the beginning.
So yeah. All of that happened. I'll give you a moment to let it sink in. Please, take a moment for yourself. *crickets in the background*
Good? Yeah? Cool.
But seriously, wow a lot is going on here. We've got potions, baddies, Regulus lying to his friends, missing pants, Room of Requirement...
Oh, and the first mention of the Dark Lord. No big deal.
Honestly, I don't know how I managed to tangle this up as much as I have. Hey, that's my problem, though, you just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Question!:
What has been your favorite chapter so far? I'm just curious if any of you have them :).
Thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following, you are beautiful for it. I mean, you're beautiful anyway, but still. Bye!
