I was staring at Julian, an exact copy of myself. But this Julian didn't remind me of myself at all. He looked like the old Julian, the evil Julian. His hair was pure-white, as brilliant as moonlight flashing on snow, and his eyes were electric-blue. He was dressed in all black and he stood calmly, looking at me with a sinister half-smile quirking his lips.
Dark energy radiated from him. He was evil, through and through.
Being the new, changed Julian that I was, the one thing I managed to think was, Huh. What made me think I looked good in black?
"So, uh, this must be awkward for you," I began out loud.
"Shut up," Evil-Julian hissed. He scowled at me. "You disgust me."
I lifted my eyebrows at him. "I disgust you?"
"You're pathetic," he spat. He came closer, and I felt the air grow heavy around me, thick and sharp with electricity. "I can't believe I turn into something like you."
"You better like it, buddy, cuz you're stuck with me," I told him. So far, in this Game, I was arguing with myself. It was pretty enjoyable.
He glared at me, probably trying to burn a hole through my head with his hatred. "You sorry excuse for a Shadow Man," he growled. "What could possibly do this to me?"
Ah. Now I understood. This was me before I'd met Jenny. I tried to remember what it was I did with my life before.
"A girl," I answered simply.
"Don't make me laugh," Julian scoffed.
I shrugged. "You don't have to believe it. And I really don't have to sit here and argue with you." I made to walk past him, but he blocked me. I blinked and tried to go around him on the other side. He put his arm against the wall, barring the way. His smirk held all the cold of winter.
"First rule of the Game..." he began mockingly.
I grinned savagely. "Don't mess with me," I finished, the exact words I'd used in the Game against Jenny. And I drove my heel straight down onto his foot.
His eyes flashed with pain and fury, and he reeled back with a hiss. I dodged around him and pelted down the hallway. I only made it a few feet before the air around me crackled and I felt an iron-hard force wrap around me. It flung me back against the wall. I gritted my teeth and tried to call on my own powers, but before I could, Julian was in front of me. My arms were pinned on either side of me and I found that I couldn't move. He was stronger, a lot stronger, because he didn't care about anyone or anything but himself. That was how the truly skilled Shadow Men focused their energy.
"Such a waste," he commented, shaking his head in mock pity. "So much power at your fingertips and you're willing to throw it all away. I'll be doing the world a favor when I kill you."
"I was just thinking the same about you," I shot back, struggling against his power. I managed to pry myself an inch off the wall, but with a wave of his hand, I was thrust against it again with a loud crack. I gasped, fighting to keep the air in my lungs, and glared at him as he watched me.
"You're not strong enough," he observed, almost disinterested. "You might as well stop fighting, Julian. It won't do you any good here." He closed his right hand into a fist. It was as though my throat had closed up. I tried to swallow and a line of fire raced down through my chest. I wanted to cry out, the pain was so bad, but I couldn't while he had this hold on me. He was still watching me. "I think we both know what's going to happen now," he said calmly. "Give up, now, Julian. Let her go. You know you want to."
The fire in my chest was blazing through my lungs, white-hot inside my heart. My jaw was clenched tight against the pain, and I knew there was a scream caught somewhere in my throat. Blackness crowded at the edge of my vision. I fought it, desperate to stay awake. The hallway blurred and Julian's midnight-blue eyes swam in front of me, a mirror of my own.
Let her go. You know you want to.
Something inside me changed. It was small, a tiny spark in the darkness, but I sensed it. I felt a flare of hope and tried to tap into this little spark of power. A voice seemed to whisper in the back of my mind, You can use this, Julian. All this new power, this spark inside.
I reached into my senses, drew the spark closer to me. It pulsed, like a second heartbeat. I could feel the heat of it spreading through me. So much strength. Where had it come from?
You can use this, Julian. You can use this...
If you change.
I recoiled in horror. The spark stayed with me, burning even worse than the pain in my chest, snaking through my limbs. It was taking me over, from the inside out. I pushed at it and it pushed back, as though it had a mind of its own.
Give in now, Julian. You must, if you want to survive. Let me help you.
No! I shouted at it. The blackness was creeping over my vision now. Threatening to sweep me away into a place I could never escape. I can't change! Not now!
You can, if you wanted, the voice whispered to me. Just let go. Let Jenny go. She'll be safe without you...
No! Don't take me, not yet!
...and soon you won't even remember her name.
"No..." I choked out loud. Julian took a step back, sensing the new energy in me. He looked puzzled, wondering why I was fighting it.
Yes. You won't know she existed. You'll be fine without her. The voice seemed to be puzzled itself. Don't you want to live?
I shut my eyes. I've died for her before.
The voice was silent for a moment. But one moment was enough. I shoved it down, deeper and deeper inside me until I felt I couldn't anymore. It didn't disappear completely, but I was in control again. I wasn't going to change. I looked Julian in the eye, saw his confused hesitation. I could work with that. I aimed all the energy within me at his reluctance to strike. It was like a hole in his invisible wall. I crashed through it. A wave of power burst from me, throwing off the viselike hold and ripping into his body. As soon as it reached him, he dissolved into shadows, spilling onto the floor in tumbles of inky blackness. They writhed around on the wood before sinking deep into the cracks. The air hissed angrily. The shadows were gone.
My throat opened. I gasped and slumped against the wall. I was starving for air, but when I gulped in a breath, it felt like swallowing a thousand needles. I coughed and put a hand to my neck, waiting for the burning to fade away. "Well, this is just great," I rasped to myself. "Barely five minutes in and all I did was kill myself."
