Chapter 28
"You don't gotta do this," Daryl murmured as he squeezed her hand. They were walking up the steps to the police station, and Carol was trembling.
"I need to see him. Even if I can't speak to him, I need to see him." She sighed. "I don't expect you to understand. I just need to see him. I need to see for myself that they've got him and know that he's not going to hurt our family again."
"A'right," he said gently. "I'm here."
"Thank you," she murmured. She gave his hand a little squeeze before they headed into the station. Michonne was out in the hall holding a sleeping Andre, and as soon as she spotted Carol, she went rushing over. Daryl took Andre and held him close while the two women embraced. Carol felt the tears begin to fall, and when she felt Michonne's shoulders shake against hers, she sniffled and pulled back.
"I'm glad you're here," Michonne murmured, wiping at her eyes.
"Hey, are you ok?"
"Yeah," Michonne promised. "I'm just…I can't believe it."
"Andre's alright?" Carol asked, gently stroking the baby's hair.
"Yeah. He was scared, but I think he's ok. He sat on my lap and played while I gave my statement. I think he's going to be fine. I'm not so sure about me though."
"I'm so sorry, Mich," Carol murmured. "I feel responsible for this."
"Shut up," Michonne said quickly. "You didn't do this. Carol, Ed's crazy. I mean, the things he was saying, the look in his eyes…it was more than just liquor talking. He was crazy." Carol looked over Michonne's shoulder to see Rick's partner, Shane, leading Ed out of the interrogation room.
"Ed," Carol murmured, as Daryl gripped her hand tightly. Michonne turned and looked straight at the man who had broken into her home. Carol took a step forward.
"No," Michonne murmured.
"It's ok," Carol said softly. She felt Daryl tug on her hand a little, and she turned to him. "It's ok. I have to do this." He let go of her, watching her walk toward Ed and Shane, and he wanted to go after her, tell her she never had to see the man again, but he found himself frozen in place.
"Carol," Ed called out. Shane shook his head, holding a hand up as Carol approached.
"Ma'am, you really shouldn't be here. I'm taking him to a holding cell, and…"
"I don't really care," she started. "I have something to say, and I'm going to say it." She stepped closer, keeping a good distance between her and Ed, but getting close enough that he'd be able to hear her.
"Carol, honey—"
"I don't know who you are," she spat. "The Ed I married doesn't exist anymore. The Ed I married was the Ed that gave me that beautiful baby girl." She placed her hand on her stomach. "He changed after she was born, but I still saw him. I still recognized him. And when our baby girl died? I think he died right along with her." The tears that were welling in her eyes began to spill over. "I met Daryl, and I realized that I wasn't letting myself live. I wasn't letting myself be happy. I was holding on to a life that didn't exist anymore. When I let go, I realized I could still be happy. I'm happy now. You've tried to hurt me. Daryl. Even Michonne. You've tried to hurt me for hurting you, and the Ed I married wouldn't have done that. I don't know what happened to you. I don't. And I'm sorry you're hurting and that you can't let go. I'm moving on. I moved on a long time ago. I will never stop loving Sophia. I will never regret having her, because she was the best thing I ever did with my life. She's gone, but I'm not. I just wanted you to know, Ed." She turned to look at Michonne and Daryl and Andre, and she thought about that beautiful little girl at home and those two lives she carried inside, and she sighed, turning back to Ed. "I hope you pay for what you did. I hope you get the help you need. And I never want to see your face again."
Ed, seemingly rendered speechless, opened and shut his mouth a couple times after Carol turned away from him. She made her way back to Daryl and Michonne and felt, for the first time in a long while, like everything was truly going to be alright.
Carol and Daryl had brought Michonne and Andre home with them. Despite the fact that Ed was behind bars, they didn't want her to go back to that house alone tonight. Rick had offered to escort her home, but Daryl had assured him that they'd make sure she was alright.
Daryl had set up the playpen for Andre to sleep in, and the little guy was out like a light as soon as they got home. Carol and Michonne sat in the living room talking while Daryl gave Gracie a bath.
"You sure you're ok?"
"I'm better now," Michonne said with a slight smile. "Thanks for bringing me home with you. I really didn't want to go back there tonight."
"I'm so sorry Ed did this to you," Carol whispered.
"The bright side is that he's in jail now, and hopefully he'll be locked up for a long time. How do you feel?"
"What?" Carol asked, a bit caught off guard that Michonne would ask her after everything that had happened today.
"You said what you needed to say to Ed. That's over. How do you feel?"
"Anxious," Carol admitted. "Ready to move on." She shrugged slightly. She put her hand on her chest. "You know, I'm moving in with Daryl, and I feel ready. I feel like this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm happy, Mich."
"I'm happy for you," Michonne said softly. "You deserve happy. You deserve Daryl. He's the one for you."
"Yeah, I think I figured that out a long time ago. I just…how we started out…"
"That doesn't mean a damned thing. You were married to the wrong man. You were in a bad situation. But you still found the person you're meant to be with, and in retrospect, you did the best thing you could do for yourself." Carol nodded slowly.
"You know, I just…I feel like I've known him forever."
"That's what you want," Michonne said with a smile. "With Mike…I mean, I loved him, but I think I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. But you and Daryl? Yeah, that's it right there. That's…that's what I want."
"You'll get that."
"Maybe," Michonne said with a shrug. "Right now, I don't really care one way or the other. I've got Andre, and he's the most important man in my light right now."
"C'mon, you might wanna give him a little brother or sister someday," Carol offered.
"Maybe. But like I said, right now, I'm ok." Michonne leaned back against the couch, and Carol got up.
"I'm going to help Daryl put Gracie to bed. You need anything?"
"Nope. Thanks, Carol."
"Anytime," Carol murmured. Michonne reached out, and Carol took her hand, giving it a little squeeze before heading off to help Daryl put Gracie down.
She was surprised to see that the nursery was dark, and Daryl was already laying in bed wearing nothing but his boxers. She smiled a little, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.
"She's sleeping?"
"Like a rock. How's Michonne?"
"She's good. I think she'll be ok. Now that Ed's in jail, we can all breathe." She slipped out of her clothes and into one of Daryl's t-shirts. She crawled into bed and cuddled up against him. He stroked her hair and kissed her softly.
"Daryl?" she asked quietly after a few moments of silence.
"Yeah?"
"Do you miss your brother?"
"Merle?" Daryl asked.
"Yeah. I mean, he's your brother. You grew up together. He's the only family you've got."
"I got you. I got Grace."
"You know what I mean," she said pointedly, gently stroking his chest. Daryl sighed and shrugged.
"Sure, I miss him. But I told ya before, I don't want him 'round Gracie if he's still usin' and dealin'. She don't need to see that."
"No, you're right, she doesn't," Carol said gently. She swallowed hard, trying to figure out the best way to tell him about the pregnancy. She'd thought maybe bringing up the subject of Merle and siblings might be a good way, but now she knew better.
Honestly, maybe there was no perfect way, but she didn't want to just blurt it out. She wanted it to be special and memorable. Though, she didn't get special and memorable. She got passing out at the hospital and Glenn telling her she was pregnant but might be losing the baby. She got a doctor telling her she had two sacs and two embryos. Yeah, that wasn't a moonlight and candles kind of special, but she sure as hell would never forget it.
"You sure you're ok?" Daryl asked gently, rubbing her shoulder.
"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm fine. I promise." She gave him her best 'everything's fine' smile and moaned softly against his lips when he dipped down to kiss her.
Carol woke sometime in the middle of the night to the sound of Grace fussing on the baby monitor. She peeked over to see Daryl completely knocked out, his head half-buried under the pillow. She grinned at the sight and slinked down the hallway to the nursery. The wall clock said it was three in the morning, and Carol yawned as she leaned over the crib.
"Gracie, I thought we were done with this three o'clock in the morning stuff." Grace fussed and kicked her legs, and Carol reached down to pick her up. "Alright, little miss. Come here." She carried the baby across the room and sat down in the rocking chair. She held Grace against her chest, and the baby yawned and cooed as she rested her little head on Carol's shoulder.
"You're gonna be a big sister, Gracie," she said softly, kissing the baby's soft hair and stroking her back. "I can hardly believe it myself. Your daddy doesn't know yet." She watched as Cherokee made his way into the room. He looked at Carol for a moment before settling down beside Grace's crib. "I hope you know I love you, Gracie. I love you like my own little girl. I know I'm not your real mama, but when you get older, if you want to call me mama, I'd be ok with that." She sighed softly. "You feel like mine. In my heart, you are mine." Grace cooed and blinked sleepily, fighting a losing battle.
Carol stood and placed Grace back in the crib. The little one whimpered for a moment, but Carol gently rubbed her tummy, and she fell back to sleep. When the baby was sleeping soundly once more, Carol disappeared down the hall and rummaged through her overnight bag in the dark. Inside, she found Sophia's favorite stuffed bunny rabbit.
She considered the item for a moment, remembering how attached Sophia had been to it. She clutched it to her chest and smiled, remembering the day she'd given it to her. When she opened her eyes again, she turned and carried the bunny down to Grace's nursery and tucked it into the crib next to the baby.
"I want you to have this. I don't think Sophia would mind. She loved it so much, and I know you will, too." She took a deep breath and blinked back a few tears. "I love you, Gracie."
