A/T: We are so close to the season premier and I am going crazy. Promo, photos, interviews...too much information flooding in!

Once again I would like to thank you all for following and reviewing. I am sorry for making some of you cry, but then again that means that I actually touched your emotions. So, I guess that's good in a weird way!

When I first started writing this story I never thought people would like it as much. I never thought it would get this emotional, and I also never thought it would take this long. Just when I decided it was time to put an end to it, I came up with more storyline! I try my best to update as soon as possible as I don't like leaving you hanging.

I hope I won't disappoint you! As always feel free to review. Reading them make me extremely happy!


As the night goes by Deeks and Kensi never get a chance to finish their conversation. The nurses wake her up every couple of hours only to check her vitals and responses and then let her sleep again.

"Has she complained about any dizziness, weakness or numbness?" the nurse asks Deeks who still remains by her side.

"No, she seems to sleep in peace," he responds as he gently caresses her hand.

"Well, it looks like she will be discharged tomorrow."

Deeks thanks the nurse as she leaves the room and he is once again left alone with his own thoughts.

These past few months have been too much for him to handle. He is close to reaching his breaking point but he will remain strong. He has to take his life into his own hands and make the best out of it. Well, if Kensi forgives him.

This unawareness drives him crazy. Has she forgiven him? Will she at some point forgive him? What if she chooses to go back to her loneliness? Will he be able to handle such kind of response? Will they be able to continue working together? Will his heart endure losing her not only as a lover, but as a partner as well? Will he have the strength to let her go?

Wow! It surprises him that he can't even predict his own reaction. It seems like he doesn't know himself at all.

How can he let her go? They do say that if you love someone let him go. If he comes back, then he is yours. If he doesn't, he never was! But then again if someone truly loves you why would he ever leave? If Kensi loves him, why would she throw away everything they have built throughout these years?

It is impossible for him to let her go. How can he just witness her storm out of his life, when all he wants is her by his side? These thoughts scare him because he is starting to sound like an obsessed boyfriend. Last thing he wants right now is to push her further away from him.

Finally, the morning comes and Kensi slowly opens her eyes. She feels his hand holding her and turns her head. He is sitting right next to her bed, obviously never leaving her side. He is deep asleep and she can only imagine how tired –both physically and mentally – he must be. He doesn't even seem to notice his thumb is gently drawing circles on her hand.

His touch is so soft and innocent right now, unlike the way he held her down on the couch just a few hours earlier. Sleeping didn't let her think. She needs to think. She needs to pick up her pieces and make a decision that will affect the both of them for the rest of their lives, but not here. She can't think in this terrible hospital room. She is sick and tired of them and all she wants is the comfort of her own apartment.

Just then, her doctor walks in and Deeks wakes up from all the commotion. Panic takes over him for a moment when he realizes he is sitting too close to Kensi holding her hand, but soon his panic subsides when Kensi offers him her sweetest smile.

The doctor checks with her for one last time before signing the papers for her discharge.

"Can I trust you this time with agent Blye Detective?" he ironically asks Deeks.

But Deeks doesn't fall in his trap and never engages to his banter.

Sensing the tension between the two men Kensi tries to lighten the mood. "I am going to be fine doc. But listen; if I die within the next hours….you can blame it on him."

Deeks tries to glare at her but his cute grin surfaces. "You think you're funny?"

"Aha," Kensi nods laughing and stands up to get herself dressed.

Any other time this would have turned into an endless banter, but not this one.

"Hey Deeks, can you get the release papers while I get dressed?" she asks hesitating for a moment to remove the hospital gown in front of him.

Oh, this is not a good sign. Actually, in his mind this is the first step towards their breakup. He just nods and gives her the acquired privacy she needs. He tries to wash off any negative thoughts but it gets harder and harder.

Within the next half hour they are ready to go back home. They board the car and Deeks doesn't even have to ask for the destination. There is no way she would want to go to his apartment. She needs her own personal comfort zone right now.

The first minutes of the ride are filled with awkward silence until she is the one who finally breaks it.

"I didn't get the chance to ask you; how did it go with your mother?" sincere worry is evident in her voice.

"Fine, it went fine and finally everything is over," he plainly says and lets out a deep sigh.

Kensi doesn't fall for his lie. She knows him well enough to understand when he is lying. "Don't do this! Don't lie to my face. I've told you before, if you don't want to speak just say so," she snaps at him and looks out the window.

"You are right, I am sorry," he apologizes and the sound of his voice makes it obvious that the mother/son reunion wasn't exactly ideal.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"She just confirmed what I already knew. The fact that she gave birth to me doesn't make her my mother. Hetty feels more like a mother than she ever did. And the fact that I share the same genes with….him," he avoids even uttering his name, "doesn't make him my father. Both of them never tried to win their son back. They never tried to make up for their mistakes. They never tried to give me love. Well, they are both dead to me and to be honest with you, it feels great. I feel relieved they are out of my life."

Kensi just listens to him trying to hold back her tears. No kid should ever feel like that. No kid should ever be rejected by his own parents. She wonders what harsh words his mother spoke but decides to never ask. He doesn't have to relive the past.

Soon, they arrive at her house and as soon as they walk in Deeks crashes on the couch. He is week, tired and in desperate need of a restless sleep. But he can't sleep before he makes a proper apology.

He gets up and follows her to the bedroom where she takes out a pair of comfortable clothes from the closet to put on. He gently holds her hand and makes her sit on the bed. He leans in front of her and looks straight into her eyes.

"I know I've already said it, but I will keep saying it until you finally forgive me. I am sorry! I am sorry for everything I put you through. I am sorry for lying to you, hurting you, disappointing you. I promise, the man you saw yesterday morning, he wasn't me. I know that now. I am not that person. I am not my father and as sure as hell I am not Max Gentry. Some strange dark force took over me but I promise that force will never win again a battle. I am Martin Deeks, ex- lawyer, LA PD Detective; soon to be NCIS agent, partner of Kensi Blye, who loves surfing and burgers. I humor as a way to defuse serious situations and intimate conversations. I am extremely curious and may invade others personal space to satisfy that curiosity. But you already knew all that, so therefore you already know me. This is me, for the rest of my life."

She can't help herself but smile at his little speech. He has this amazing ability to make everyone focus on his good qualities and forget about everything else.

"So where does this leave us?" he asks kissing softly her hands.

As happy as he makes her, she can't forget the awful words that came out from him. She can't forget the way he yelled at her and held her down with all his force. Soon, her smile fades away when she realizes she doesn't have an answer for him yet.

He reads her eyes and lets go of her hands. "I understand, you need time," he sadly says and gets up. "I will be crashing on the couch. The doctor said to keep an eye on you for the next few days and this time I am willing to keep my promise."

He exits the room leaving Kensi alone with her own thoughts. It feels like an angel and a demon are sitting on each of her shoulders, debating the answer that Deeks is waiting for.

Should she listen to the little demon? He might be right after all. Who can guarantee that Deeks won't have another breakdown? Who can guarantee that Max Gentry won't break free from the prison he locked him? Deeks has always been a mystery for everyone. People always get the false impression that he is quite open and talkative, but if you pay attention, his words usually mean nothing. They have been working together for almost 4 years but he never discusses any details on his relationship with his father. He never brought up his mother. In fact she doesn't have any kind of information about his upbringing. Who did he stay with when he was a kid? Why did he quit being a lawyer to join LA PD? Did he ever get involved in a serious relationship?

He only comfortably speaks of the past when he makes references to his embarrassing part time jobs. As long as they were partners all of these didn't quite matter. Partnerships don't last for a lifetime. But how can she trust her happiness on him, when he can't trust her with his past.

Then, the little angel washes her fears away. She can't blame him for not being honest unless she blames herself first of all. She hasn't told him yet about the year she spent homeless, because she is too ashamed to talk about it. Also, because that was the time she met Jack. So, she wants to leave that part of her life as buried as possible.

Maybe that is why he also avoids remembering the past. Maybe it is too hurtful for him. Growing up all alone, without the support of your parents isn't easy. Of all people she should know. Not to mention that his own father tried to kill him twice. Any normal human being would be devastated and traumatized by such experiences. In combination with the torture by Sidorov -not even two months ago- all this surely leads to an explosion of emotions. She was just the unlucky one to be close to that explosion.

The past is gone now and not important anymore. What is important, is the future? Their future!

She walks into the living room and finds him deep asleep. He must be exhausted and surely starving when he wakes up. She is still quite dizzy and therefore unable to go to the grocery store to buy …..well, anything. After all these days of absence her fridge is empty. She opens her little sin-box as Deeks calls it and tries to decide what to order. Anything sounds delicious right now. She goes through every piece of leaflet and then she comes upon the perfect one. Only it is not a delivery leaflet.

She unfolds the little piece of paper and smiles for a moment. Even though she wasn't looking for it; in fact she didn't even remember she had stashed it in there, here it was. Written down there are these four simple words that always seem to work on her.

Everything's gonna be fine!

He gave her that paper when she was accused of murdering her father's sniper team members. She kept it as a reminder that not only her partner is willing to risk his life and career for her, but that she can also trust him with her life.

She reads the note and then takes a glimpse at him and smiles. This is Deeks. The man who took over him is long gone and she trusts him to never invite him again in their lives.

So far life has taught them a valuable lesson. Never take tomorrow for granted. Never take anyone for granted! She is done feeling alone and blaming others for her own insecurities. She loves him and so far he has saved her life more times than he has hurt her. In fact he has given her life.

She approaches the couch and softly kisses his lips whispering.

"Everything's gonna be fine!"